Simpsons Quotes

[damo]

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

 

[shrubber]

Homer: Well beer, we've had some great times.
[wistfully]
When I was seventeen,
I drank some very good beer,
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID,
My name was Brian McGee,
I stayed up listening to Queen,
When I was seventeen.

 

[preshi]

I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer

and

Mmmmm... (insert favorite thing here)

and

I am so smart S-M-R-T I mean Smart

 

[Big Dude]

Bart: "Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ."

Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounter is true and by true, I mean false. Its all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that the real truth? The answer is no. (maybe I should add this one to the "Truth" post.)


Homer: "'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?"


Adam aka Big Dude

 

[BedKnobbery2]

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds ... it makes ice.

Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.

 

[shrubber]

Bart writing on the chalkboard: I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

 

[orvilleair]

Homer got a acting part on "Itchy and Scratchy" as a dog (a cool one). The "Itchy and Scratchy" episode was a stinker and comic book guy goes:

"Last night's show was the worst episode ever! Rest assured, I was on the internet, within minutes, registering my disgust."

 

[Big Dude]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

[wvrevy]

Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

The IMDB has thousands of 'em, but these were the two I remembered when I first saw this thread.

 

[tkyes]

I wish I could put my favorite one, I don't think it's quite DIS appropriate though.

These are very funny, I love reading them!

 

[orvilleair]

One of my favorite Simpsons episodes.

Maggie's first words (with Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie) as she takes out her binkie:

"Daddy"

 

[shrubber]

Mr. Burns:
Listen, Spielbergo. Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners! We both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked dammit!

 

[Doug123]

Mr. Burns: "Have the Rolling Stones killed" (in reference to the Ramones playing at his birthday party)

Sign outside church: "We put the 'fun' in 'funeral!"

Ralph: "Me fail English, that's unpossible!"

Homer: "Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

 

[Jimbo]

Homer, after dropping Grandpa off at the home: "See you the next time we need your signature."

 

[two4ruff]

Lisa as a hockey goalie:

"HACK THE BONE! HACK THE BONE!!"

 

[orvilleair]

Mr Plow Homer) and Plow King (Barney)


were fighting tooth and nail for customers. Homer impersonates a caller and sends Barney on a wild goose chase. Barney is driving in the mountains and all of a sudden in Barney fashion.


"BURRRPPPP!!!"

He starts an avalance

 

[Bobbles]

Originally posted by tkyes
I wish I could put my favorite one, I don't think it's quite DIS appropriate though.

These are very funny, I love reading them!

Could that quote come from Ned Flanders after Homer, in a dream sequence, gives Troy the Trojan Horse?

 

[shrubber]

Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney : "Maybe your standards are too high!"
Moe You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

 

[Jimbo]

Originally posted by shrubber
Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?

Ever since I saw that episode, when I meet someone named Amanda, I think of them as "Amanda Huggenkiss."

Please say I'm not the only one that does this!

 

[BoulderCreek]

"Hi Fishbulb and Mr Spakaru" from when Homer sees his face on a detergent box