My 12yo DD one time went to a birthday party for one of her friends from school. I dropped her off and since the parents didn't speak very good English wasn't really sure when I was supposed to pick up so told my DD to call. 3 hrs later and no call I decide it must be over by now! They were just getting started, my younger one was with me and she joined in the games. They had all kinds of food, most of which I didn't recognize. I stuck with the things I did. Several hours later I finally felt it wouldn't be rude to leave although we were still the first out the door we finally went home. I do have to admit I realized that our birthdays must seem pretty boring to the kids / families who are used to those!
SIL rant
- Thread starter hucifer
- Start date
My 12yo DD one time went to a birthday party for one of her friends from school. I dropped her off and since the parents didn't speak very good English wasn't really sure when I was supposed to pick up so told my DD to call. 3 hrs later and no call I decide it must be over by now! They were just getting started, my younger one was with me and she joined in the games. They had all kinds of food, most of which I didn't recognize. I stuck with the things I did. Several hours later I finally felt it wouldn't be rude to leave although we were still the first out the door we finally went home. I do have to admit I realized that our birthdays must seem pretty boring to the kids / families who are used to those!
pirateofthecarolinas
<font color=FF00CC>AIN'T ain't a word!<br><font co
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2003
- Messages
- 5,295
My husband's family is the opposite. If they tell you to be there at 2:00, it means that they are eating at 2:00 and people are in the food line by 1:45!
My daughter goes to a Spanish Immersion School. Her teachers are from Columbia and Venezula. For the Spring (Easter) party they wanted the parents in charge of the party to take the students from 11:00 until 2:30.
They like to have LONG FIESTAS. The classmoms couldn't believe it. It's fun to get to experience different cultural traditions.
Lori
My daughter goes to a Spanish Immersion School. Her teachers are from Columbia and Venezula. For the Spring (Easter) party they wanted the parents in charge of the party to take the students from 11:00 until 2:30.
They like to have LONG FIESTAS. The classmoms couldn't believe it. It's fun to get to experience different cultural traditions.Lori
Reading through this thread seems most do not enjoy their family or friends. When my family has parties or holidays its an all day thing. We enjoy spending time with friends and family. It's not all about the food. Its not like the OP's SIL didn't serve anything, she had appetizers before the meal. If its that much of a problem to spend more than a couple hours celebrating a special occasion or holiday then decline the invitation.
Wendy
My family and my DH's family are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.
I went to a shower on my side of the family. When I arrived at the hour that my invitation said, everyone else was there and they wanted to know where I was. Dinner was ready and they were waiting on me to arrive so they could eat. I don't know, but I thought that it was good to arrive to a party on time, not # HOURS BEFORE! Last weekend we went to my neices 1st communion. The invitation stated the party was at 3. The day before she called me to tell me that I needed to arrive at 2 because dinner was being served at 3.
My DH's family on the other hand! You never know when we are going to eat, when people are going to show up. My SIL is from the Cayman Islands and time is just not important! It's funny she visited relatives over Spring Break and they drove her crazy because they were so relaxed about things. Maybe she's coming over to the dark side with the rest of us.
I loved the thing about all the meat. My sister and my Mom do that all the time. It's all this meat, it's all greasy and fatty and just not how my DH and I eat.
I went to a shower on my side of the family. When I arrived at the hour that my invitation said, everyone else was there and they wanted to know where I was. Dinner was ready and they were waiting on me to arrive so they could eat. I don't know, but I thought that it was good to arrive to a party on time, not # HOURS BEFORE! Last weekend we went to my neices 1st communion. The invitation stated the party was at 3. The day before she called me to tell me that I needed to arrive at 2 because dinner was being served at 3.
My DH's family on the other hand! You never know when we are going to eat, when people are going to show up. My SIL is from the Cayman Islands and time is just not important! It's funny she visited relatives over Spring Break and they drove her crazy because they were so relaxed about things. Maybe she's coming over to the dark side with the rest of us.
I loved the thing about all the meat. My sister and my Mom do that all the time. It's all this meat, it's all greasy and fatty and just not how my DH and I eat.
What an interesting thread! It drives me crazy when people invite you to something and expect to "hold you hostage" all day. It's like those people who get married at 1 pm and then the reception doesn't start until 6pm. What the heck are we supposed to do for 5 hours in between? I hate that.
On the other hand we were invited to a wedding that was two hours away. The wedding was at noon and the reception started at 5. So, we decided to only attend the reception b/c we would have had nowhere to go for 4 hours. So, we get to the reception a little late (20 minutes) and they're already eating! I thought for sure they wouldn't start eating until 5:30-6:00. I mean who starts eating dinner right away?
On the other hand we were invited to a wedding that was two hours away. The wedding was at noon and the reception started at 5.
So, we decided to only attend the reception b/c we would have had nowhere to go for 4 hours. So, we get to the reception a little late (20 minutes) and they're already eating! I thought for sure they wouldn't start eating until 5:30-6:00. I mean who starts eating dinner right away?
Piglet
<font color=blue>Can't beat <font color=red>Family
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1999
- Messages
- 1,603
Well - my SIL is exactly the same. Calls and says having a Birthday Party for my nephew at 1:30 - at 4 they finally decide to put the burgers on the grill. My DH and I had plans and a babysitter for the evening and we were to drop off DD at 4. We stayed until they said they had to send FIL to go pick up the cake.
He had to drive about 1/2 hour just to get it, then 1/2 hour back. So needless to say we had to leave early, now my Dh's entire family is angry with us.
If it wasn't for the kids, I would just not go anymore.
What do you do???
Melinda
He had to drive about 1/2 hour just to get it, then 1/2 hour back. So needless to say we had to leave early, now my Dh's entire family is angry with us.If it wasn't for the kids, I would just not go anymore.
What do you do???
Melinda
Chattyaholic
~For years I wanted to be older, and now I am~ Mar
- Joined
- May 6, 2000
- Messages
- 5,562
How frustrating for you! I would have been annoyed too!!
A former friend used to invite us over for dinner occasionally after church. I had no idea what we were in for the first time, so I was definitely surprised! We drove over and nothing was ready, the table wasn't set, food wasn't prepared, nothing! It was at least a couple of hours before we ate dinner. It was always that way, anytime she had us over. I knew I was going to have to help prepare the food and that we wouldn't be eating for at least a couple of hours. It wasn't that way when we had them over in turn, I always had the meat cooking in the oven while we were at church (self-timer) and had the side dishes "ready to go" once we got home, the table was set, dessert and drinks ready, and we usually were able to eat within 15-20 minutes after arriving and I never had to ask her to help prepare anything. Oh, and she almost always invited extra guests that we didn't know about. Made me so uncomfortable. Didn't care for that at all. I think when someone invites you to a meal at their house they should also inform you at that time if there are going to be other guests that you don't know. We're no longer friends, and although there are parts of the friendship I miss, that part isn't one of them.
A former friend used to invite us over for dinner occasionally after church. I had no idea what we were in for the first time, so I was definitely surprised! We drove over and nothing was ready, the table wasn't set, food wasn't prepared, nothing! It was at least a couple of hours before we ate dinner. It was always that way, anytime she had us over. I knew I was going to have to help prepare the food and that we wouldn't be eating for at least a couple of hours. It wasn't that way when we had them over in turn, I always had the meat cooking in the oven while we were at church (self-timer) and had the side dishes "ready to go" once we got home, the table was set, dessert and drinks ready, and we usually were able to eat within 15-20 minutes after arriving and I never had to ask her to help prepare anything. Oh, and she almost always invited extra guests that we didn't know about. Made me so uncomfortable. Didn't care for that at all. I think when someone invites you to a meal at their house they should also inform you at that time if there are going to be other guests that you don't know. We're no longer friends, and although there are parts of the friendship I miss, that part isn't one of them.
You are right that I didn't focus on the positive things, but that was the only point of having the rant...to complain. Let it be known that I love my in-laws, and my SIL is very welcoming and warm to me. Of course this communion is a chance to get the family together...and that's what we did. My complaint was how ill-prepared the guests were that dinner was served late. My suggestion is to serve the guests within the first hour, and let them decide when to leave...shortly after, or hours later.
I was surprised at the number of responses that complain about the same thing. I do not entertain a great deal, but when I do I try to feed the guests within the hour of the invitation, when possible. Sometimes the schedule slips and sometimes planning on my part is weak. But I did find the four-hour wait to be excessive, even if appetizers (and plenty of them) were available. Appetizers cannot satiate us for that long, especially chips and dip.
On the defense of the barn: They live in a modular home, and the barn is big enough to entertain a large number of people. It is insulated and heated, but my beef was that it was a cold, rainy, muddy day, and therefore the doors were kept closed. Throw in about 7 or 8 smokers in the mix, and it becomes a trapped, miserable, hungry afternoon. Ugh.
bratus913
<font color=deeppink>Hucifer's cute and sassy sist
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2003
- Messages
- 295
THAT is too funny (and my kind of shower!!
)Boy is that the opposite of my in laws!! Example:
- Invite says starts at 12:00 pm
- People (excuse me, FAMILY) arrive at 12:30 pm
- Eat at 2:00 - 2:30 pm (actually, the meal was planned for 1:00, but SIL# 4 is horribly late for every function and MIL insists on waiting for her to arrive before those of us who arrived promptly can eat)
- Everyone leaves at 3:00 pm
So, if it wasn't for SIL# 4 these functions would be amazingly short!!
Wendy - Stay strong!!!
OhMari
WDW PreTrip and Trip Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2000
- Messages
- 15,183
I'm trying to stay positive too, but...
My SIL finally got married at 33. She is only going to have 1 child, that is another story. My nieces birthday is tomorrow but we celebrated it last Saturday. She turned 4
Her husband is a big hunter and fisher. Every birthday we have attended, she disguises venison cause they have so much of it. At least this year it was Lasagna. I wish she would feed us the fish in the ice freezer they are always braggin about.
She told us we would eat at 4:00 and we were late and she waited for us, I did feel bad. Then we waited for my daughter who was coming home from College, she drove an extra 20 miles from a long 4 hour ride already.
I'm glad we only see them a few times a year, I could see my niece more, but it is all for the best not to see SIL. She would make Del's wife SIL seem like an Angel.
My SIL finally got married at 33. She is only going to have 1 child, that is another story. My nieces birthday is tomorrow but we celebrated it last Saturday. She turned 4
Her husband is a big hunter and fisher. Every birthday we have attended, she disguises venison cause they have so much of it. At least this year it was Lasagna. I wish she would feed us the fish in the ice freezer they are always braggin about.
She told us we would eat at 4:00 and we were late and she waited for us, I did feel bad. Then we waited for my daughter who was coming home from College, she drove an extra 20 miles from a long 4 hour ride already.
I'm glad we only see them a few times a year, I could see my niece more, but it is all for the best not to see SIL. She would make Del's wife SIL seem like an Angel.
My DH's side of the family is all Dutch...folks, they don't call it "Dutch treat" for nuthin'. The inlaws tell a story about being invited to an afternoon graduation party for one of their nephews. Coffee was served and there was a Happy Graduation sheet cake displayed on the dining room table. The entire party came and went and nothing but coffee was ever served...all the inlaws could figure is that the cake was for some other party.
One more thing...we have some dear friends who invite us to their house for dinner on occasion. We have learned from experience that it always takes a while for them to get dinner on the table, and there are never any appetizers put out, so we've just started bringing appetizers and wine when we come. I think they are appreciated, and we're all happier.
I think that a lot of the way we entertain comes from the way our family entertained when we were small. My mother didn't entertain much at all and I try to keep my eyes open at parties, but I always wonder if I'M doing (or not doing) something that my guests talk negatively about later.
I think that a lot of the way we entertain comes from the way our family entertained when we were small. My mother didn't entertain much at all and I try to keep my eyes open at parties, but I always wonder if I'M doing (or not doing) something that my guests talk negatively about later.
-
See the Disneyland 70th Highlights With planDisney Panelists
-
New Monsters, Inc. Land Concept Art Now at Disney's Hollywood Studios
-
Plaza de la Familia, Halloween Dining, & Fall Festivities Return to Disneyland in 2025
-
FIRST LOOK: Mickey & Minnie's Halloween Time Costumes Revealed for Disneyland
-
Dates & Ticket Prices Revealed for 2025 Oogie Boogie Bash at Disneyland Resort
-
Disney Summer Series: Best Disney World Attractions in the Height of Heat
-
Does EPCOT's World Showcase Need More Rides?
Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!
Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE
