SIL inheritance stupidiy.

[crisi]

I just priced yesterday an all-inclusive (i think for spring) in the Dominican Republic (paradisus) and for us 4, it was $1300 for Monday-Friday. Not including airfare, but we can get that for under $1000 to PR and from there to the DR.

She's got short notice airfare going on if she was pricing trips two weeks out.

 

[bettymae1121]

I know, I watch the train wreck that is the life of a good friend of mine and I just shake my head. Granted, she learned her money "skills" from her parents so she was set up for failure early on, but still you think by her mid-30's she'd figure out what she's doing isn't working and look for another path. But she'd rather sit at home and have her husband work two jobs to support them (she is too "ill" to work and anyway her sister needs the free child car she provides...) than try to earn some extra income to dig themselves out.

I was going to give her some leads for some work-from-home situations but my friends and I all agree...we're pretty sure she has a prescription drug problem now (which she's in denial about). The rest of my friends have pretty much cut her out of their lives but I haven't yet...I haven't decided if I want to give the "you need profesional help" speach one more time. I've known her since high school and I hate to just give up on her, but she never listens to anyone, "no one knows what she's gone through and we don't understand" so I don't know how far I'd get.

Anyway, no matter how much you want to help, some people just have to crash and burn on their own.

 

[Purseval]

$4000 for 4 days at Universal is high but not as high as it could have been. The Graceland Suite at Hard Rock is over $2000/night. So perhaps in her mind she was being fiscally responsible by not blowing the entire 13 grand in one shot.

 

[NancyIL]

As the great philosopher Ron White says:

You can't fix stupid.

Or as I like to say...Idiots abound!

I am pretty fugal, and it is hard to step away when you see friends or family members doing stupid things with their money. However, they are adults, and they are responsible for the decisions they make and the consequences of those decisions.

 

[eliza61]

It kills me. I could have saved them at least $1000. We had 7 day tickets that we bought for $99 several months ago when we learned that Harry Potter would be increasing ticket prices. I really think that if she didn't go the "package" route that they could have saved a lot.

I'm going to play devils advocate.
Ok, I think you're a wonderful person butttt. Who died and said they needed your help? Did sil ask you for help? Sorry, but don't you think this is a bit arrogant.
Every one has the right to blow or save money in the manner they see fit, that's what makes this such a great country. really.

You are absolutely right in saying that you can't fix stupid, so stop trying. Some people are happy the way they are and as long as you're not footing their bill I really do see why it's killing you.

I'm a little sensitive because some one just posted how DVC members are pretty much suckers becasue we did not take our money and invest it instead of purchasing our dvc.

I totally think you did a very smart thing with your windfall but I do hate when people tell me what to do with my money especially if I did not ask them for help.

 

[ceecee]

As the great philosopher Ron White says:

You can't fix stupid.

 

[Belle5]

What a difference maturity makes...we have some family friends that live in another state. They are incredibly wealthy. What do people with their kind of money do? Do they say, "We're loaded, so we can just throw caution to the wind?" No! They called me twice last week asking me to help them with their Disney trip. They knew that I know how Disney works, etc. and that I could help them get a good deal.

 

[Traveliz]

Yes - you nailed it right on the head. This is none of your business. Don't get me wrong - it totally sucks, b ecause now you will need to continue to listen to them complain that they have no money.

Take a deep breath and move on. Life is too short to worry other people's lives away. Besides - nothing will change with your SIL. NOTHING.

You know what though -- I find that the type that likes to complain about money would continue to do so no matter what their financial situation.

Liz

 

[eliza61]

Dont you hate when people refuse your expertise? I am constantly hearing about friends taking trips to Disney. I offer my planning help and they consistently brush me off. The end up "winging it" and waste tons of money and time. You feel bad for them.. but in the end people gotta live thier life.

congrats on the money (and the good sense to use it wisely!)

Why is it a waste? Are they happy "winging it"? So your saying that unless they are happy touring your way, they are wasting time and money?

I just don't get this people. If I decide to spend 10,000 bucks on stuff mickeys while licking mickey bars and that's what makes me happy why should anyone feel bad for me?

That's like the people who always say that if you don't do rope drop you waste your time?

My brother in law goes to Disney during football season and spends 90% of his time inside ESPN watching games. This is what he loves. Yeah, he drops 7K to stay at the Poly but you know what he's HAPPY.

 

[NancyIL]

Why is it a waste? Are they happy "winging it"? So your saying that unless they are happy touring your way, they are wasting time and money?

I just don't get this people. If I decide to spend 10,000 bucks on stuff mickeys while licking mickey bars and that's what makes me happy why should anyone feel bad for me?

That's like the people who always say that if you don't do rope drop you waste your time?

My brother in law goes to Disney during football season and spends 90% of his time inside ESPN watching games. This is what he loves. Yeah, he drops 7K to stay at the Poly but you know what he's HAPPY.

I'm glad I'm not married to him!

 

[NancyIL]

I'm a little sensitive because some one just posted how DVC members are pretty much suckers becasue we did not take our money and invest it instead of purchasing our dvc.

I posted on that thread several times. While DVC isn't for me, I certainly don't think DVC members are "suckers"!

 

[eliza61]

I'm glad I'm not married to him!

LOL. my sister in law and kids are extremely happy (imagine her spending cash).

The point is, that if you can afford it and the way you travel makes you happy, why is it wrong or stupid?

skydiving seems like a collosal waste of money IMO, but hey they are a ton of people jumping out of airplanes.

I'm a budget gal during my real life so no way am I scrimping during vacation, I guess my disney vacation budget would put me in the "stupid" catergory also according to some.

 

[Belle5]

I posted on that thread several times. While DVC isn't for me, I certainly don't think DVC members are "suckers"!

Actually, sometimes I wish I had the excuse of owning DVC to explain away our Disney habit...You know, "Oh, well...we HAVE to go back because that's where our timeshare is..."

 

[tinker&belle]

I have a good friend who is up to her eyeballs in debt. She has told me how much she owes on student loans, and it LITERALLY made me antsy for the next several hours just thinking about it.

She and her husband spend LOADS of money though, so it is difficult to hear her complaining of the lack of money and then see all of their big purchases. At the end of the day, she is the one who has to live with it. I feel for her, but I have gotten to the point I don't offer suggestions unless she asks for them. (Which she does since she knows we are fairly good with money.)

I love her enough to listen, offer advice when needed and keep my mouth closed otherwise. I don't think we would be as good of friends otherwise.

 

[wbn36]

I'm going to play devils advocate.
Ok, I think you're a wonderful person butttt. Who died and said they needed your help? Did sil ask you for help? Sorry, but don't you think this is a bit arrogant.
Every one has the right to blow or save money in the manner they see fit, that's what makes this such a great country. really.

You are absolutely right in saying that you can't fix stupid, so stop trying. Some people are happy the way they are and as long as you're not footing their bill I really do see why it's killing you.

I'm a little sensitive because some one just posted how DVC members are pretty much suckers becasue we did not take our money and invest it instead of purchasing our dvc.

I totally think you did a very smart thing with your windfall but I do hate when people tell me what to do with my money especially if I did not ask them for help.

Hi, Thanks for your info. She did not ask for my help, but I said if she needed any I would be happy to look into some stuff for her. No pushing etc. I left it at that. They have every right to do what they want with their money.

HOWEVER, it just drives me nuts when she calls to complain that she bounced 5 checks, needs a new $250 dress to attend a co-workers wedding, asks for financial advice on how to: re-mortgage, set up a college saving plan etc. The final straw was that she was given thousands of dollars in a lump sum for her kid's education 5 years ago and last month she called us because she didn't know what she did with the money or where it went. She basically couldn't find $15K. My husband had to take up his time helping her track were this money went.

So yes, they have every right to do whatever. But how can I not offer to help out, but now I am done. I will keep my mouth shut and not say I told you so. However, I know she will be asking me about my Disney trip in Jan and the cost of that but I will just answer honestly.

 

[wbn36]

I'm going to play devils advocate.
Ok, I think you're a wonderful person butttt. Who died and said they needed your help? Did sil ask you for help? Sorry, but don't you think this is a bit arrogant.
Every one has the right to blow or save money in the manner they see fit, that's what makes this such a great country. really.

You are absolutely right in saying that you can't fix stupid, so stop trying. Some people are happy the way they are and as long as you're not footing their bill I really do see why it's killing you.

I'm a little sensitive because some one just posted how DVC members are pretty much suckers becasue we did not take our money and invest it instead of purchasing our dvc.

I totally think you did a very smart thing with your windfall but I do hate when people tell me what to do with my money especially if I did not ask them for help.

Forgot to say that I am sorry for whoever made the DVC quote. Name calling is not nice. Although someone may have dissagreed with you on the value of DVC it could have been worded better.

 

[eliza61]

I have a good friend who is up to her eyeballs in debt. She has told me how much she owes on student loans, and it LITERALLY made me antsy for the next several hours just thinking about it.

She and her husband spend LOADS of money though, so it is difficult to hear her complaining of the lack of money and then see all of their big purchases. At the end of the day, she is the one who has to live with it. I feel for her, but I have gotten to the point I don't offer suggestions unless she asks for them. (Which she does since she knows we are fairly good with money.)

I love her enough to listen, offer advice when needed and keep my mouth closed otherwise. I don't think we would be as good of friends otherwise.

And that's the thing. Op is upset because her SIL is spending what she deems as too much money ($4000) on her vacation. It's 4K out of 13K they inherited.

So I guess, I question how why we think "our" way of vacationing became "THE" ultimate guide to vacationing? Op said "what was killing her was the fact that she could have planned the vacation for a lot less"

That's like when people post that booking a deluxe is a "waste" of money because you are only in the room to sleep or if you didn't book a deluxe and stayed at a value you could go to Disney more often.

 

[crisi]

You know what though -- I find that the type that likes to complain about money would continue to do so no matter what their financial situation.

Liz

I have an uncle who is always complaining that they "can't afford." They are probably actually fairly wealthy, but in his world (and in mine) "can't afford" is shorthand for "choose not to afford." He doesn't want his less well off relatives mooching off him, so he pleads poverty (while buying his wife a Mercedes for Christmas). It doesn't mean anything (other than I avoid conversations about money or acquisitions with him).

That doesn't seem to be the case here, as SIL seems to have the financial common sense of a manatee. But it isn't the OPs job (or her husband's) to fix it unless she chooses to, and if she chooses to, she probably should have the good grace not to complain about it.

(And I'm a sucker of a DVC owner myself - for us its a very expensive way to ensure nookie on vacation while staying on site. But we aren't complaining about not being able to pay the mortgage.)

 

[wbn36]

And that's the thing. Op is upset because her SIL is spending what she deems as too much money ($4000) on her vacation. It's 4K out of 13K they inherited.

So I guess, I question how why we think "our" way of vacationing became "THE" ultimate guide to vacationing? Op said "what was killing her was the fact that she could have planned the vacation for a lot less"

That's like when people post that booking a deluxe is a "waste" of money because you are only in the room to sleep or if you didn't book a deluxe and stayed at a value you could go to Disney more often.

Hi Again,
I just want to clarify that I am not totally against them going on vacation. I just wish they could have "gotten more vacation for the money" The kids have never been to disney. I think that 4K for 4 nights is a lot. I just wish that they could have had a few more nights and done more stuff than just 2 days at the hardrock. But yes, it is not my business.

 

[eliza61]

Forgive me wbn36, it's definitely me in a mood. Like I said, I just came off of a debate over whether DVC'ers have sense enough to screw in a light bulb for purchasing. (not as blunt as that but pretty much the implication) It's got me in a quirky mood.

I have no idea why it bugged me as I'm usually a "too each his own" gal.

Is your SIl a disser? I think we here at the Dis are the exception. we tend to research, plan and exam our trips way more than the average. So I think we automatically start scratching our heads and doing internal math when we talk to non dissers.