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[Tinkerbelle14]

Ok, just stepping in to "moderate" the debate. I say this is an issue that people have to agree to disagree on. To each their own, right? I think that it all depends on your personal preferences and your decision does not reflect your status an individual. In my area, there are 2 other women with the exact same name (not sure about the middle) around the same age and I have had a fair amount of people tell me that they know another woman by my name. I feel that this doesn't make me any less of an individual, nor will taking my DH2B's last name. Once again, everyone's opinion is unique.

 

[WDWbride2007]

Once again, everyone's opinion is unique.

Very true....i don't think anyone has taken offense (at least I hope not). Just a healthy conversation to get everyone's brain juices flowing on a Friday afternoon. It is always interesting to me to learn about other people's perspectives on things. That's what makes the community so rich.

 

[shellncesar]

In Mexican tradition, the women doesnt give up her last name. For instance lets say I have this fictional friend Patricia Luna Padilla. Luna is her fathers name and Padilla is her mothers name. When she gets married she becomes Patricia Matrinez Luna. So she still keeps her fathers name Luna and her husbands name Martinez. I think this is pretty cool because it is important to show lineage.
Now Mexico isnt the best example of women and their freedom, it is still a cool tradition.

I think that this is a very personal decision. I personally like my fiance's last name. My last name is only 3 generations old. My grandpa made it up when he came to this country. There is no one with my last name that is not related to me. I think it is cool but I have 11 cousins and 2 brothers so it will go on without me.

 

[umaangel00]

I agree this is a healthy converstation. Not one that would need to be moderate. I also like to hear other's opinions. I am all for feminism but it's not for me. I am still an idependant person but I also rely on mh DH as well. I like to have the best of both worlds.

Anyone watch Wife Swap? That woman was WAY too independant.

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

Oh, I agree that this conversation is healthy. I just wanted to make sure that no one felt like their opinion was getting attacked or anything. We all have different backgrounds, so I know that it is easy to misunderstand each. I didn't mean to imply that this wasn't healthy or that it was getting out of hand.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I am excited to take my DH2B's last name. My current last name is ok, but it is pronounced froze (not spelt that way though), so whenever people do get it right (some think it is rose or just pronounce it completely wrong), they joke about how I personnally "froze". They always say "Jessica froze? How did that happen?" and then think it is so original. My DH2B's last name can not be changed into a joke in anyway, so it'll be nice.

I completely understand what you mean about not being made fun of for your last name. I was actually telling my friend about how after I'm Dukes you can't really make fun of that name, he then proceeded to call me "Ashley Dookie"

 

[jenm2878]

I opted not to change my name, but on a couple of instances have signed using my husband's last name. He told me it looked weird like I was trying to forge someone elses name. It made us both laugh.

My last name is very Irish, and my heritage is very important to me. Also, I lost my father a few years ago and feel like I am honoring him by keeping my name. My husband doesn't mind at all - he says he wouldn't want to give up such a big part of his identity, so why should I? I will have my kids use his last name though - it'll make life easier.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

Growing up, kids in school got picked on for that because their parents did not have the same last name. I view it has cruelty on your children for that to happen. Why would you put your children through that if you didn't have to?

Again just my opinion.

The sad thing is that isn't really uncommon anymore. With so many kids being born out of wedlock or families ending in divorce it's very common to have a mother and child with different last names. I remember assisting my teacher (during my observations) set up parent-teacher conferences and only 5 out of 12 students had the SAME last name as their mothers.

 

[Laurafoster]

I have to agree, i think if kids are going to be cruel and pick on people they are going to find any excuse. Although i s'pose naming your kid something "different" like Apple or "moon unit" (stupidly that is some poor kids name) isnt going help!

I have no choice but to take my DH2B name, my family name is foster and his is flower so it doesnt really go together! As much as id like to keep my name, id rather share the same name as my DH2B.