**sigh** It's tough to be a teen

[Claudia1]

Gone are the days when I could kiss my DD and make it all better.

Her old boyfriend is extremely jealous that she has moved on (after he made the initial break-up) and is spreading vile and vicious rumors about her. Already being a teenaged mother, these rumors make her out to be something that she is not. She is a mother as a result of a crime. Many of her peers know the truth but there are always some that sill believe anything. I fear that strange boys will start calling her just because of the rumors.

This former boyfriend is that kind that will get worse when confronted. We discovered that he had some very real & destructive anger management issues right before the break-up and tried to help. No good came from that. A passive approach is the best but it is also the hardest.

DD is doing OK but it struggling with her hurts. EVen though the teachers & staff "consider the source", it still hurts.

Being a teen and not completely equipped to handle life is very, very tough. Watching your DD go through it is tough, too.

Just needed to vent.

 

[Boots]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[BWVDenise]

Don't know what to say, other than it stinks (not my first choice of words).

 

[ead79]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that your DD is going through this. How painful it must be for her. I just don't understand why people are sometimes so cruel to others. {{{HUGS}}} for your DD and for you too.

 

[helenabear]

I am so sorry your DD is going through this after all that. {{hugs}} to you both!

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Sorry your daughter is having to experience this. Sending a cyber {{{HUG}}} her way.

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry Claudia. Your dd has so much to handle already and she's doing so well. I hate to have something like this upset her.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Teenage years are so hard! {{{Hugs }}} to you and DD.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I'm sorry about what is happening to your daughter, but did I miss something? I didn't realize that a crime had been committed.

 

[Serena]

AFR, yes, she's young, a crime was commited and now she is a very good mom.

 

[Claudia1]

I'm glad you asked for clarification, AFR. I'd rather talk about it that sweep it under the rug. Thanks, Serena, for your stepping in and clearing it up. You have always been there for me!

DD has some mental processing disabilities that are not apparent in normal social situations. An adult criminal was planning to rob us and manipulated her to gain access. In the process, he committed a felony that created our DGD. (Trying to keep this PG......) Charges have been filed and the process is still ongoing. That happened the night before her 15th birthday. She is a teenage mom who is trying to rise above the inuendos and rumors. Not an easy task for any single mom. She is very special and she shares a beautiful bond with her daughter. I think that one of the reasons that this is so upsetting to me is that we have come through a life-changing, bone-crushing year and have been enjoying the mountain-top for a while. It hurts to be thrown from the mountain-top.

It has been a tough year but we are settling into a new life as my DH and I help her to raise her baby. We are a family of 5 and God keeps us in the palm of His hand. So, whenever I post about my DGD, I am posting about a child that I am also helping to raise. My DH and I are assuming the role of the "other parent".

(BTW, DGD is absolutely precious! She is chatting and smiles at anything & everything. At her 4-month dr. appt. her pediatrician was profuse in his assessment that she was ahead of the curve on interaction and body control. We now find it necessary to take her to the nursery during church because she "talks" to everybody, especially during prayers!)

 

[Tinkbell]

The teen years are very tough and your daughter has certainly been through so much already. ((HUGS)) to you both. I hope things get better for her.

 

[mamajoan]

Claudia, you have a special relationship with God. One which I appreciate. A prayer for some quality "down time" for you and family in 2003!
Joan

 

[Tulirose]

{{{HUGS}}} to you, your daughter and your precious DGD.

 

[snoopy]

Claudia, I am so sorry, I wasn't fully aware of the situation with your daughter either. How tough on you, and especially her.

My concern is with this boy. Jealous boys can be very dangerous. Not trying to scare you, but we had this experience with my sister's teenage boyfriend, and ended up having to have a retraining order put out on him. Its something you might consider.

{{{hugs}}} to you. On a happier note, how is your darling granddaughter doing now? Hopefully getting big and into all sorts of new things!

 

[bsnyder]

Hugs to you, Claudia. You and your DD don't deserve for this to happen.

I'm so glad that DGD is filling your lives with such joy and happiness!

 

[Val]

If things are REALLY bad don't be afraid to seek some counseling for DD (if you haven't already). Sometimes having another "adult" to talk things over with helps put things in perspective...is there someone from your church she might find reassuring that can remind her that this will all pass? Also, I know your DD is older, but the American Girl books have some great advice on a nice, simple (as in straightforward) level without getting too "psychological"......would your DD read these?

Hang on to that DGD......I was raised by MY grandparents after my teen parents divorced. I am AWFULLY grateful that they didn't let bad things happen to us.......my mom and dad have both passed on now (so has Grandad), I am in my forties, but my 2 siblings and I are so very thankful that we still have Grandma.

 

[Claudia1]

Thanks for all the good advice!

Yes, we are aware that things could get much worse and are grateful that the school personnel are aware and ready to help as needed. A retraining/protective order will only anger him further. We are counseling our DD to maintain a passive stance and to avoid him. She has received counseling for years and is receiving good adivce on this. She has come a long way from impulsively lashing back and no self-control. It really helps her that she has lots of peers that don't belive the comments.

 

[Dan Murphy]

As always, Claudia, my very best for Mallory, her baby and all you.

 

[Keli]

I'm so sorry these things have been happening to your dd. I hate dealing with untrue rumors, especially when they are spread about people I love. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you and Mallory and I hope this passes over quickly for you guys.