Shy Guy. What Would You Do

[Terk-1]

I've heard from some of the ladies that I work with there is a guy here who likes me, but is incredibly shy. The ladies say I should just wait for him to approach me, but my sister's say I should approach him. From what I've heard, he's a really nice & funny guy, but is just really shy about approaching me. Now, for the record, I'm a friendly and funny person, so it's not like I'm scaring him off or anything. I think it's sweet that he's shy, but the ladies think he needs to get over that and just ask me out.

Should I just wait and see or should I make the first move? He does not have a work e-mail address, so I can't contact him that way. I was thinking of dropping him a note in a company envelope to make it look "official" (allow to be less obvious) just to say hi and give him my cell phone number, since it may be less awkward to call me on that from the privacy of his home, instead of in the middle of my office. Would this make me come across as too forward or desperate?

What would you guys do? What would you recommend I do?

 

[coliebird]

Why not ask him out? Ask him to go to lunch or for coffee after work one day. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[mommytotwo]

Do you find him attractive and would you want to make the first move or wait for him to do so? Maybe you could find a mutual friend to start a conversation between the two of you since he is shy.

 

[Mishetta]

I like mommytotwo's advice since that's how I got to talking to my painfully shy DH. We've been happily married for 10 years now!

Good luck!

 

[SC Minnie]

I wouldn't ask him out but would find a way to start up a conversation with him. Flirt and let him know in a subtle way that you are 'unattached' and interested. If he is that shy asking him out may scare him off.

 

[auntpolly]

Goooooooooooooo! Now! Approach him before some other pushy broad beats you to it!

 

[jrydberg]

As a guy who tends toward the shy side myself, I'd say ask the guy out. If he likes you, he's not going to be put off by you taking some initiative, IMO.

 

[dcentity2000]

I'm a shy guy and trust me, we need approaching My gf had to do so and boy, am I glad she did! Just go up to him and start talking - shy guys can often come out of their shells when you do so



Rich::

 

[cats7494]

I am married to a shy guy

I thought he was interested in me but I knew that he was a quiet shy man. So, I asked him if he wanted to go eat lunch sometime - that was 4 years ago.. We are now married and he is definately not shy with me anymore!!!

So - YES...if you are interested... ask him! It sure can not hurt!

Good luck!

 

[monkeyboy]

Guys like to be asked out

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I think that you should just start a casual conversation with him and see how things go. If it seems to go well, then maybe ask him out for coffee or something really simple.

Good luck!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I agree & say ask if he'd like to join you at lunchtime.... even if you become nothing more than friends, you'll have gained something good.

 

[spearenb]

Not to be the wet blanket, but be careful dating someone who works at the same company/building as you. If it goes bad, personal stories and rumors could be told to the first grape on the vine. And it seems there are some other grapes there too that would send it down the vine too. Good luck on whatever you decide to do... and it is your choice!

 

[Terk-1]

I'm so torn now. He works in another part of my building, so I never know when (or if) he comes into the office area. I did ask my co-worker whether or not this might be a joke (she said she'd be pretty angry if it was), so she asked and said that she thought he was sincere. I understand both sides (ask vs. wait) and just can't decide. I just keeping wondering why he would be attracted to me. It's not like I look like a Disney Princess (Boston Tigger can verify that one), so why would he be interested?

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, first of all, looks aren't everything!!!! How many of us are totally Chrisitie Brinkley gorgeous??? Really, not too many. I can't imagine you're unattractive. We in this copuntry have such a skewed view of beauty based on what the media and celebrities show us. Maybe he likes your smile, or thinks you seem like a kind, decent person in addition to being attractive.

I agree with the advice to try and casually do something, like have him sit with you at lunch or invite him for a cup of coffee. The worst thing that will happen is that he'll say no...nothing ventured, nothing gained. The best thing that will happen is that you will meet a nice new person.

 

[Serena]

What exactly are you waiting for?

He's shy and I find that incredibly sweet.

Find him soon and ask him to go to lunch with you sometime. Tell him there's a new place you heard about and don't want to go alone. A movie, a concert, just anything.

good luck

 

[Jasminesmommy]

How long has he worked there? If he new maybe he needs to warm up first. Talk and flirt every chance you get. Throw hints you like him. If al else fails then ask him out.

 

[Terk-1]

He works 7-3 and I work 8-5 and neither of us take lunch very often. Should I leave a note in his mailbox to stop by and see me when he has a minute or just wait and see if he comes into the office? Am I sounding pathetic here?

 

[shortbun]

so go in early and take him a donut! While you are there,
ask him to lunch for the next week so you can both plan.
OR-call him at home and make some plans for dinner.
He who hesitates is lost.
My husband was shy-I gently pursued him and won.
Good luck!
mimi

 

[Kallison]

When I was dating in my 20's I wasn't patient enough to wait for the guys. I asked my DH out -- told him a group of friends were going out, even though it was just to be he and I. When I picked him up , I said oh everyone else cancelled and wouldn't you know he brought a friend. So the three of us went out. I called him the next day and next day and next day. He was moving in three weeks two states away. He said let's keep it casual, I said ok. The night before he left, he said I don't want you dating anyone else, I said ok. A few weeks later he asked me to marry him and I said ok. Still here 20 years later! We still laugh about our first date with the threesome. I said Boy you were thick for sure!