Shy child and Kindergarten?

[100AcreWood]

First grade teacher here. I agree, I would not hold a November b-day kid unless there was a serious issue. I assume she will be 5, turning 6 in Nov. I am for August and some July babies (especially boys) waiting. Many young ones are fine, but always have minor behavior/ social/ academic issues. Anyway, the only red flag in your post was that she only goes to preschool 3 days a week. Is Kindergarten half or full day? Here in AZ, most schools (probably 80% of public schools, 60% of private) only offer full day, so if that is the case, that seems like a HUGE adjustment to go from part day 3 days a week to 7 hours a day 5 days a week, especially for a shier child. If it is half day, this probably won't be as huge of an issue, but it might be a good idea to start sending her 4 or even 5 days a week after the new year. Good luck!

I appreciate your input. I'm going to talk to the preschool teacher this morning about adding on a day and get her opinions. Originally we only did 3 days because she spends an hour on Mondays in speech therapy and that is very tiring for her. Anyway, they expect she will graduate from speech before K starts so that is great news! We were leaving Fridays open as free time but prepping for K is more important and we still have the afternoons at home.

 

[100AcreWood]

I had a wonderful conversation with the director and then again with the teacher at the end of the day. Her teacher didn't mean to suggest she should be held back, just that we had some work to do to prepare her for kindergarten. Anyway, we decided to bump her up to 4 days on the basis that extra exposure and practice can't hurt. I told them both I appreciated their feedback and am I'm definitely willing to do anything at home they can suggest to help prepare her as well. We might take her to an occupational therapist (at the same place as her speech therapist) at some point to see if they can help with learning to use a pencil. She is really struggling in that area. She can write her letters with chalk but if you put a pencil in her hand it's a huge struggle.

Thanks for all the responses and for helping me work through this. I just wanted to let everyone know I think we have a plan going forward and the school assured me they would focus on helping her get prepared.

 

[kohlby]

Glad you're not going to hold her back. Simply being a little shy is okay! Or even being a lot shy. She's been able to handle pre-K so I wouldn't worry too much about kindy. If the time comes and you find she's unable to handle kindy, then I'd find a private half-day program for her with smaller classes instead so it's less overwhelming. That would give her an extra year to help with her shyness but she would still be moving forward.

As for the pencil, give it time. There's no harm in working with her as long as it's kept fun. Also do things like playdoh and legos to help with finger strength. Not holding the pencil correcly in 4K is very normal.

 

[kohlby]

About speech - that can be part of the reason for her shyness. I had a speech delay and all three of my kids have/had speech delays. It did not make my boys shy at all. But I think it made DD and myself who were shy to start with, even more shy. (All of us had severe articulation delays as the need for our therapy. I was able to stop speech therapy by the end of kindy. It was in the middle of first grade for my oldest. The other two are still in it. We all started at 3 years old - except for my youngest who started at 1.5 years old).

 

[bearloch]

my daughter has june birthday and I held her home untill she was 6 ( she did pre-school and young fives) it wasthe best thing ever!! kdg was all day she was not the olderst or tallerst at all she is now 12 and has been on Honor roll and top of her classes for everything!! she is a leader not a follower. She will be 18 when she graduates and therefore 18 when she leaves for school which is abig plus as she can then stay off campus if need be and she will be able to get own credit card and have that extra maturity of being slightly older! She also will have a advantage of being slightly more mature when looking for summer jobs etc!! I know a few people whos kids started young and they as middle-high school kids are struggling and they regret that early start! also back in the day KDG at 5 was pre-school!! we have put extra depands on kids at a much younger age and they deserve the right to be kids as long as possible.

 

[Leajess99]

I had a wonderful conversation with the director and then again with the teacher at the end of the day. Her teacher didn't mean to suggest she should be held back, just that we had some work to do to prepare her for kindergarten. Anyway, we decided to bump her up to 4 days on the basis that extra exposure and practice can't hurt. I told them both I appreciated their feedback and am I'm definitely willing to do anything at home they can suggest to help prepare her as well. We might take her to an occupational therapist (at the same place as her speech therapist) at some point to see if they can help with learning to use a pencil. She is really struggling in that area. She can write her letters with chalk but if you put a pencil in her hand it's a huge struggle.

Thanks for all the responses and for helping me work through this. I just wanted to let everyone know I think we have a plan going forward and the school assured me they would focus on helping her get prepared.

I don't know if you are trying to use a big pencil or what but try sharpening the pencil to about the size of the chalk and then place a gripper on it. This is what the OT did with one of the kids in my daughter's preschool and kindergarten class. He could not use a full size pencil but the shorter one with the grip really helped him. You may want to make it one of the fatter pencils as well.

Glad to hear that the talk went well.

 

[100AcreWood]

I don't know if you are trying to use a big pencil or what but try sharpening the pencil to about the size of the chalk and then place a gripper on it. This is what the OT did with one of the kids in my daughter's preschool and kindergarten class. He could not use a full size pencil but the shorter one with the grip really helped him. You may want to make it one of the fatter pencils as well.

Glad to hear that the talk went well.

That's a great idea. The preschool director suggested a shorter pencil. I'll just sharpen one down to half the size. Thanks!

 

[100AcreWood]

About speech - that can be part of the reason for her shyness. I had a speech delay and all three of my kids have/had speech delays. It did not make my boys shy at all. But I think it made DD and myself who were shy to start with, even more shy. (All of us had severe articulation delays as the need for our therapy. I was able to stop speech therapy by the end of kindy. It was in the middle of first grade for my oldest. The other two are still in it. We all started at 3 years old - except for my youngest who started at 1.5 years old).

Her speech therapist also thinks the same thing. Dd was already introverted, but adding on a speech problem (she has a lisp) just made her more quiet. She was tired of people always saying "I don't understand you, what did you say?" So she just stopped talking.

 

[momto2js]

My oldest is also a november child. He will start kindergarden next year. I don't doubt that he is academicly ready and socially he will be ok. My concern is that kindergarden here is full day. They are late at 7:20 in the morning and then school is out at 2:30. I wonder if he will be able to maintain any kind of focus for that long. They do get a 20 minute recess but that is nothing near the 2-3 hours a day he RUNS now. He also goes to a pre-k program this year that is 5 days a week. I hate the drive everyday for him to be there 3 hours but it has been good to get in the grove of having to go every day. In the past he has gone 2-3 days a week.

My approach is to keep some options open. I am going to enroll him in our local school and then also enroll in a private 1/2 day program as a back-up plan. In May, I'll have a better feel for what the right decision is and I will withdraw him from one. This way I have a plan and a back up plan.