Should we take a Grandmother?

[Tinkerbell117]

Our next trip won't be until April of next year, but I'm a planner, and since our weather has been atrocious lately, I've had a lot of Disney planning time on my hands! We took my mom on our DW trip in 2012, and MIL went with us last time, so everyone is "even." If we invite a grandma next time, it will be in more of a babysitting role... *Edit*. This sounds so harsh! And not what I really mean, lol. Babysitting while we're on height requirement rides only . *end edit*

Next April, DD will be 4 and "should" be 38'' tall, but I doubt that she'll hit the 40'' mark yet. We will have our new addition with us, and he/she should be about 8 months old. This will leave three main rides that DD will be able to do that new LO won't (Barnstormer--which she's already ridden and absolutely loves, Kali River Rapids, and Seven Dwarfs Mine Train).

I can't decide if I'd like to leave our next trip as a "just us" trip with myself, DH, DD, and baby, or if we should invite one (or maybe both) grandmas along with us. It was nice being able to ride the grown-up rides with DH last time while MIL watched DD, but it's not a must-do. Mainly, I don't want to miss out on DD's fun as she gets to ride two new rides (Kali River and Mine Train) and deal with the rider swap.

The down-side to inviting along a grandma is that our room options will be limited (I think). Things were pretty tight last year with three adults and one child in a standard room, and I can't imagine adding an infant in there, too, while I guess it is still technically allowed. Also, we always stay deluxe, and I'd hate to split into two rooms and ask a grandma to pay for a room of that price range, so if we did two separate rooms, I think it would be a better option to invite both grandmas along so they could share a room and the costs. So, with all that said, here are the options I'm considering:

1) Me, DH, DD, baby staying in one deluxe studio
2) Me, DH, DD, baby, and one grandma staying in one standard deluxe room
3) Me, DH, DD, baby, and two grandmas staying in two rooms, with the grandmas splitting a room

Which would you do and why? I have tons of time to decide, but I'd rather decide early and stick with my decision instead of waiting and wavering back and forth on it.

 

[RachaelA]

#1

You've gotten to ride the "big kid" rides with your husband the last 2 trips so its not like you haven't gotten to ever.

I wouldn't want to have to entertain or deal with another person every single trip. It will be nice to just worry about your core family if you go with just yourselves.

ETA: If you do one new ride with your daughter and your husband does one you both get to "experience" the first. Every trip there will be new rides she's tall enough for over the next couple of years.

 

[Tinkerbell117]

#1

You've gotten to ride the "big kid" rides with your husband the last 2 trips so its not like you haven't gotten to ever.

I wouldn't want to have to entertain or deal with another person every single trip. It will be nice to just worry about your core family if you go with just yourselves.

ETA: If you do one new ride with your daughter and your husband does one you both get to "experience" the first. Every trip there will be new rides she's tall enough for over the next couple of years.

This is what I'm leaning towards--especially as I was writing it out, lol. I think the simplicity of just the four of us is tempting me the most...

 

[RachaelA]

This is what I'm leaning towards--especially as I was writing it out, lol. I think the simplicity of just the four of us is tempting me the most...

You can always bring a grandma (or both ) next trip when your oldest is even taller and ready for almost all the rides.

 

[Marionnette]

Our next trip won't be until April of next year, but I'm a planner, and since our weather has been atrocious lately, I've had a lot of Disney planning time on my hands! We took my mom on our DW trip in 2012, and MIL went with us last time, so everyone is "even." If we invite a grandma next time, it will be in more of a babysitting role...

Next April, DD will be 4 and "should" be 38'' tall, but I doubt that she'll hit the 40'' mark yet. We will have our new addition with us, and he/she should be about 8 months old. This will leave three main rides that DD will be able to do that new LO won't (Barnstormer--which she's already ridden and absolutely loves, Kali River Rapids, and Seven Dwarfs Mine Train).

I can't decide if I'd like to leave our next trip as a "just us" trip with myself, DH, DD, and baby, or if we should invite one (or maybe both) grandmas along with us. It was nice being able to ride the grown-up rides with DH last time while MIL watched DD, but it's not a must-do. Mainly, I don't want to miss out on DD's fun as she gets to ride two new rides (Kali River and Mine Train) and deal with the rider swap.

The down-side to inviting along a grandma is that our room options will be limited (I think). Things were pretty tight last year with three adults and one child in a standard room, and I can't imagine adding an infant in there, too, while I guess it is still technically allowed. Also, we always stay deluxe, and I'd hate to split into two rooms and ask a grandma to pay for a room of that price range, so if we did two separate rooms, I think it would be a better option to invite both grandmas along so they could share a room and the costs. So, with all that said, here are the options I'm considering:

1) Me, DH, DD, baby staying in one deluxe studio
2) Me, DH, DD, baby, and one grandma staying in one standard deluxe room
3) Me, DH, DD, baby, and two grandmas staying in two rooms, with the grandmas splitting a room

Which would you do and why? I have tons of time to decide, but I'd rather decide early and stick with my decision instead of waiting and wavering back and forth on it.

Why don't you lay your cards on the table for the grandmas to decide? It's possible that one or both of them may not even be interested in spending their money and vacation time so that they can be your babysitter(s). But you'll never know unless you float the idea out there for them to either jump on it or shoot it down.

 

[Tinkerbell117]

You can always bring a grandma (or both ) next trip when your oldest is even taller and ready for almost all the rides.

This! Yes, I think when DD is 40'' there will be several more rides she can do, right? Like BTMRR and Splash Mountain?

 

[Tinkerbell117]

Why don't you lay your cards on the table for the grandmas to decide? It's possible that one or both of them may not even be interested in spending their money and vacation time so that they can be your babysitter(s). But you'll never know unless you float the idea out there for them to either jump on it or shoot it down.

Well, I actually know for sure that they would both love to go. I don't want to mention it to either one of them unless I know for sure we want to ask them to go, especially my mom since it's her "turn" if that makes sense. Also, my DD loves to have them along.

 

[DisneyBliss7]

When I was a kid we went to Disney with both of my grandmas and it was one my favorite trips as a child If everyone gets along I think it would be great especially while the kids are so young. Our last trip in 2013 was our ''first'' trip with just us...and it was the best Disney vacation I've had since I was a child. It was so wonderful having quality time with just DH and I with the kids. BUT we also don't have the best relationship with MIL and that is who we went with in the past..but not again...
With all that said I say if they want to go, bring them along. Your kids are still so young and honestly having the extra hands is helpful in a busy place like Disney. You'll have many years to go on quality family time Disney trips when the grandmas may not feel like going as they age,thats my parents
You could even have a day where it is just the four of you and treat both grandmas to a spa day(or whatever they may enjoy) as a thank you for helping with kids

 

[powellrj]

You are inviting grandmas down to babysit and you are making them pay their own way? If thats the case, I would let them have their own room and not make them share with you. Otherwise, just go with your family and forget taking anyone with you if you aren't going to pay for them. I would never invite anyone and expect them to babysit and not pay their way. If they offer to babysit while you are there is one thing, but to base the trip on them babysitting, I would never ask this of anyone.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think you need to clarify why grandma is coming, if she indeed does come. Is she coming as a babysitter as you would invite someone not in the family to babysit or as a family member who just loves to help out with the kids? BIG difference and i would be very concerned if they thought they were being asked just as a baby sitter, it would hurt their feelings. I think first move is to decide if you want just your family or an extended family trip. If its an extended family trip you are thinking about, I would consider if they would be comfortable sharing a room and that way your little family would have some alone time too. They may also enjoy quite a bit of time to do their own thing in the park. If you take one as a sitter, you need to plan to completely pay the way.
BTW- Most children have a growth spurt in that 3rd year and the majority are very close to 40 inches by 4 (over a year away) so there is a good chance your little one might be 40inches if that matters.

 

[Tinkerbell117]

You are inviting grandmas down to babysit and you are making them pay their own way? If thats the case, I would let them have their own room and not make them share with you. Otherwise, just go with your family and forget taking anyone with you if you aren't going to pay for them. I would never invite anyone and expect them to babysit and not pay their way. If they offer to babysit while you are there is one thing, but to base the trip on them babysitting, I would never ask this of anyone.

I probably put that the wrong way--not to be a babysitter, just to sit with the baby and or toddler while we went on rides that have height requirements. Neither grandma likes to ride the "big" rides anyway. I see that came across the wrong way :/. It would totally be just as much of a vacation for them as for us. And while I would actually like to pay for their trips, there's no way in heck either of them would let me.

 

[Tinkerbell117]

I think you need to clarify why grandma is coming, if she indeed does come. Is she coming as a babysitter as you would invite someone not in the family to babysit or as a family member who just loves to help out with the kids? BIG difference and i would be very concerned if they thought they were being asked just as a baby sitter, it would hurt their feelings. I think first move is to decide if you want just your family or an extended family trip. If its an extended family trip you are thinking about, I would consider if they would be comfortable sharing a room and that way your little family would have some alone time too. They may also enjoy quite a bit of time to do their own thing in the park. If you take one as a sitter, you need to plan to completely pay the way.
BTW- Most children have a growth spurt in that 3rd year and the majority are very close to 40 inches by 4 (over a year away) so there is a good chance your little one might be 40inches if that matters.

Just as someone who loves to spend time with the kiddos--we live several hours away from family. I apologize for not clarifying. I'm not talking about bringing them along as a nanny, just as a person to sit with the baby/toddler while we're riding height requirement rides. That probably sounded pretty harsh in my original post.

 

[BellesLibrary]

I think it all comes down to the family dynamics.

I'm not sure that I would want to spend a week in a theme park with my MIL or FIL (I'm not sure hubs would want his family another either)--they are just soooo slow at doing everything and they complain a lot if they have to walk too much. They would be miserable and would make the rest of us miserable.

However, my parents are going along with my husband, daughter, and I for my daughter's first visit this December. My parents LOVE Disney and totally get why we want to take her. They are definitely theme park people and will be happy just to be along for the ride. Plus, all of us get along very well, and there's little to no bickering when we're all together--just fun times.

There's something to be said for a core family vacation, but I think that (if everyone gets along and you don't have to "entertain" the grandma in question) a big family trip can make memories that last a lifetime!

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, I actually know for sure that they would both love to go.

And while I would actually like to pay for their trips, there's no way in heck either of them would let me.

With the assumption that everyone gets totally along and likes each other, and there are no obnoxious difficulties or passive aggressive nonsense or anything negative like that, invite one or both!


If people have living, sane, healthy, happy, joyous grandparents (we have two living grands, but they aren't the other things, so this is the viewpoint of someone on the outside looking in) that like Disney, it's simply a no-brainer for me. Of course you ask them to come along.

And I'll admit I never got to take any my-family+mom trips because my mom died before I even met my husband, but when I took trips with her and stepdad once I was an adult, no one had to "entertain" anyone. So I don't totally understand the concerns that the OP would have to entertain a mom. (but if one had to "entertain" the moms, then to me, they don't qualify under the "sane" requirement)

 

[tzolkin]

when I took trips with her and stepdad once I was an adult, no one had to "entertain" anyone. So I don't totally understand the concerns that the OP would have to entertain a mom. (but if one had to "entertain" the moms, then to me, they don't qualify under the "sane" requirement)

This is why DH and I dread bringing his mother places with us. I guess I wouldn't necessarily describe it as "entertaining", but there are definitely issues. We feel obligated to spend every minute with her so she won't be alone and every decision seems to revolve around her wants. Mainly it's her personality, but perhaps things would be better if she had a spouse/partner along to keep her occupied.

On the other hand, we did a two week Disney trip with my parents (that included riding in the same vehicle 23 hours each way) and it was perfectly pleasant. Part of that is that they have different personalities than MIL, but we also didn't feel the need to "entertain" them. We often split up, ate separate meals, went to different parks, etc so there was never any pressure to arrange all of our vacation plans around their preferences and everyone had a great time.