Should we or shouldn't we ask...

[minnieandmickey]

My husband and I are taking our 2 children and our niece and nephew to WDW next year. Our problem now is that my BIL son is coming to live with him, and I don't know if I should offer to bring him too. We don't know him that well, and what we do know isn't the greatest. He is one child around his father and another around other people, although his Dad will back me up if I have a problem with him. Knowing this I really don't want to take him, but then again is it fair to take the other 2 and not him? My sister is paying for my DNc and DNp air and Disney tickets, we are paying for everything else. So another child would add to the bill, and that would bring the total to 5 children my husband and I would have to keep track of. My sister may come but I doubt she will be able to afford it even with the hotel paid.I know I sound awful but I really am torn about this. I'll take any advice on the subject.

 

[tink2dw]

I had a the same kind of problem,To take my childs problem freind,or the well behaved younger sibling also my childs freind??

Well,I couldn't even decide how to ask without creating a huge hassel?? and creating hurt feelings??

So, I didn't take anyone else, just our family.

You have a while to get better aquainted with the child and see how he reacts with your family.

And if all else fails then maybe you will have to take just your family this time. Due to cost's?

 

[sablair]

that's a hard one! Will it ruin your trip to take him? Maybe you could explain to his father that it's not in the budget ..and they could help out with the costs. If Christmas and Bday comes between now and your trip, why not have their parents and other family members give them disney dollars to spend and help you with the costs. Im an optimist when it comes to kids.. even bad ones... sometimes they just need the right atmosphere and guidance. Maybe taking a trip with your family would be good for him. Is he just spoiled, or has he not been taught how to behave? If his behavior is a problem, some time with you and your kids might be a plus for his future. Can you spend some time with him before you go? See how he interacts and if you can handle him on the trip. We had a similar situation with a cousin and once he knew what our rules are and had time to adjust, it was a lot better. He knew we wouldnt put up with his attitude. If he is coming to live with your sister, and you are close to her kids, chances you will have to deal with this over and over as time goes by.
Believe me.. I know its not a good feeling when you dont care to be in the company of certain children, but when you work through that and take the time to develop a relationship it pays off in the end... doesnt necessarily turn everything around, but helping the good in a child blossom is the greatest gift an adult family member can give them!! It beats the guilty feeling of leaving them out for sure

good luck!!!

Sheila

 

[mainey-mouse]

I think it depends on a few more details...

How old are all the children involved?
Is the "new" child going to live in the same family as the neice and nephew?
Do the 4 children know about the trip yet?

 

[mikenlisa1]

I have been there, we take turns taking kids in the family, Our rule had always been age 5 and you can go, untill my cuz son came along and wanted to go at age 6 I knew he would not mind and I knew how he acted around family I did not want to deal with that on my Vac.
We already had plan on 2 others going so I sat down and explain that everything had already been paid for and we could not come up with enough money on short notice. That we could plan on him going the next year, and then during the year he could come over to our house and help plan the trip. This was ok with him and then when planning we got to know him better and found out that with us he was a saint ! and would do anything we asked . We went had the best time and now he is 10 and saving his money to go next year.

 

[Mic]

We were faced with a similar situation with my husband's brother's 2 children: the 12-year-old boy is easier to deal with than the 9-year-old girl, but it created a few tense moments when we asked that BIL keep daughter at home with him(he is a single dad, for the most part). Money was an issue, too, as BIL has come to expect us to pay for everything all the time(gotta love family) and I truly felt my neice would ruin it for everyone else, as behavior is a problem with her. Even though it is not her fault, she acts very inappropriately around me to get my attention, probably because she really wants a mother-figure in her life, but that is not the fault of anyone else, either, and it was still our vacation. I suggested BIL use the time without the son to do some bonding with the daughter, but he chose not to let his son come with us. When he told us, we then suggested that the 3 of them accompany us on a longer trip we have planned for the Fall, and he agreed.(Now I am having second thoughts, as he acts like a 9-year-old, but requires an adult pass and eats ALOT more!) As this child is not your sister's child(am I understanding this right, he is from a previous relationship?) and he is coming to live with your sister and BIL on a more permanent basis, taking the younger 2 children on a trip may give the boy a chance to adjust to his new residence without the interference of younger half-siblings(if I am correct in assuming that he is older than your niece and nephew). If you're close enough to your sister, just ask her what you should do...they may be unable to afford another pass and airfare, anyway, and I doubt she would expect you to pay for it. If you do end up taking him out of courtesy, I hope it is a pleasant experience for you. We recently(March) took my sister and 13-year-old nephew, who is an only child(for a few more months!) to WDW with us. I expected the worst of my nephew, and he delivered a little mischief, but in all fairness, my sister was more annoying than him! My children are still mocking her "discipline" tactics! Good luck with your decision.