Should we go or not?

[hokiefan33]

Glad to hear your daughter is doing well.

I would tell your SIL to stick it where the sun don't shine and mind her own business, and that if you ever want her opinion you'll let her know.

I can't stand pushy family, especially when they're in-laws!

 

[lurontravel]

KatiesMommy,
SOunds like it's been really stressful. Sorry to hear that you are catching flak for your decision. I agree that Katie won't even know "Santa" at 20 mos, probably not even at 32 mos (maybe, but possibly not...), and I strongly agree with the unanimous votes cast here so far. Go. Have a great time, and see the "family" when you get back, or (only if you REALLY want to) invite some or all of them to join you at WDW. Make a PS for dinner, and you've "done" Christmas yet one more year for his family. It is hard (but sometimes also wonderful) to have family, isn't it???
Laura
PS Don't forget to come back and ask us all for more tips on planning your trip!

 

[DisneyPete]

Never allow someone else to tell you what is best for your family! If someone has advice, than that is great but to TELL you what is best for you? Please.

I would go and send my SIL a postcard everyday.

 

[LegoMom3]

You'ver certainly gotten more than enough replies with this bent, but I've been through so many similar things with my own ILs and it always bugs me. As long as you and DH are "on the same page," that's what is important. You deserve it after all you've been through. And yes, WDW will be mobbed at Christmastime, but I've been there just early enough in the season to see all the decorations and it is absolutely beautiful - it will be such a magical time for your little family. And having 3 kids of my own, I think at your DD's age she might get the "presents" part of Christmas, but hardly able to grasp the full "Santa" thing. I think she'll have a blast at WDW, and you and DH are going to have an even better time just watching her face as she experiences all this.

 

[HopperFan]

Be excited about your trip and you all enjoy every special moment with your very special child. She will far more enjoy WDW then the holidays with all those people. She is too young to "get" the Santa thing. You all deserve this trip and no one should ever try to make you feel bad about it. Shame on them!

First I do think she is jealous. Second, she sounds just like one of mine. Those first few years she wouldn't stay out of our business. Set boundaries and make sure she knows them. There will be plenty of holidays together and some apart, just works that way. And if she has lived away all this time and only choses to visit that one holiday, well tough ! I have anothe IL who only will visit on T-Day and they only live a few hours away. Well, guess what we travel every T-Day. Special time for our family.

Sounds like you have an awesome DH and you two go and enjoy the magic of WDW through those pretty little eyes !

 

[macfamily]

Tell SIL to fly a kite

I've got to say I agree with this one. Goodness, how selfish some people can be!!

Go, have an amazing time, and don't worry about it at all. When you see how your daughter reacts you'll know you did the right thing

 

[Carol Ann]

Just to add another note of support -- I can understand where your SIL is coming from, but at the same time, you're first concern should always your immediate possy. It could be that the SIL is jealous, or is the only one open enough to talk about the concerns of other people...don't let her freak you out though...I congratulate you and yours for making it through a stressful few years.

I would caution you about Disney at Christmas with a toddler...it is super busy (although the days before christmas aren't so bad). Just remember that as the time approaches, don't be too ambitious...just let her take it all in!

 

[Okiemom]

When we were first married with kids, The Holidays becames stressful due to the pressures people put on us to "show up", especially after the kids were born. My parents were divorced and re-married so between my 2 sets and his set it just became a zoo. After a few years of that, we now (for years) just decide together what we will do for that year, and thats what we do. It will make people dissapointed at first, but then they will get use to you not being a command performance. You just have to do what is best for your family now! You are a family unit.
So, do what you need to do and do not feel bad for it!! They will get used to it eventually and it won't be a problem so much later on. Have a blast!!

 

[sweetpeakaris]

I really think your SIL is just jealous! Go on your trip, and I hope you have a ball!

 

[DKx3]

After spending many years trying to please in-laws and family at Christmas, my family (just the 4 of us) spent this Christmas at home all day for the first time since I married 13 years ago. It was the best Christmas ever. Enjoy your trip, you're the Mom now!

 

[highland3]

Santa knows where WDW is, as a matter of fact it's one of the first stops in North America. Apparently your SIL is ill informed. What place could be more magical (or more crowded) for Christmas????

If you felt strongly enough to plan the trip, don't let second thoughts or someone else's guilt trip stop you!

 

[Deb & Bill]

It's about time you developed your own family holiday tradition. When your daughter gets older, will your husband's family always have to be there with your family? Go to WDW. Decorate your hotel room. Get a small tree. Santa can always go shopping at WDW. Once Upon a Toy has wonderful gifts from Santa.

You will have a great time. Take it easy, enjoy your visit, don't push it so much you have a miserable time. Just seeing all the decorations will be a treat.

 

[BroganMc]

Sounds like SIL wants her cake and eat it too. (Comes home for one holiday and expects everyone to "be" there.)

I love Christmas and have a big family to share it with (16 of us in the immediate group). We just lost my mom this year so Christmas was a very unique time. Still, you have to be mature enough to allow family to come of their own free will. SIL is not being fair to you, your husband or your daughter.

Methinks you've spoiled the family a bit too much over the years "doing their holidays". Everyone needs to chip in and share the hosting burden or someone ends up being overloaded.

Don't let what SIL said stop your plans. If she truly upsets you, tell her about it and explain (in as gently a way possible) why. Sometimes people come across meaner in e-mail than they intended. If she is just worried she'll miss you guys at Christmas, then knowing your reasons for going should compensate. She wants you to be happy, right?

I have 8 nieces and nephews (oldest 7 1/2). None of them "got Santa" until they were 3-4 years old. Before then, they were more likely to scream and cry when they saw Santa. 4-8 seems the "magic age" for kids and Santa. Besides, imagine how much more magical it will be for a kid to be visited by Santa in the most magical place on Earth?

 

[KATIESMOMMY]

:

 

[KATIESMOMMY]

Thank you all again! After talking to various members of my "family" (both his and mine) I am convinced that we are doing the right thing. Most of his sisters heard about thru the "Familyvine" and my machine was full of messages when I got off work tonight. They all are excited that we are going and have said that she is just being a spoiled brat. Their mother had a better view of things--the kids Dad died when my DH was 18 and he has been kind of like a father figure to the whole brood since, so she thinks the SIL is more kind of jealous of our DD than anything (SIL in question is the baby). Kind of puts things in more perspective but as some of you have pointed out we have our own family now!
BUT-- I may end up with the group anyway....MIL thinks it would be a great time and place for a HUGE family get together for the holidays Unbelievable! Doesnt matter to me, like I said 2 of his sisters are as close as my sisters are and I wouldnt mind it too terribly, at least I wont be cooking 3 turkeys and 2 hams!!
Thanks everyone....and my DD really thanks you, I think she is going to LOVE IT

 

[macfamily]

I can't wait to see the pictures!

 

[Disney_1derland]

I'm sorry Quite frankly, you may spend the holiday with your family however you wish, Santa can go to Disney just as easily as he can go anywhere else!

Your 20 month old is the *perfect* age for Disney. Probably won't be afraid of anything yet, so you'll get to do whatever you want. I loved taking my kids at that age, still, those are my favorite trips of all the ones we've taken.

I would tell your SIL, or better yet, have your dh back you up and he be the one to tell her, that your family will spend your holiday celebrating all that you have come through and you will be doing it as WDW and that if she can't be happy for you, she's just gonna have to get over it and you'd appreciate it if she can just respect your decisions for your family as you would do the same for her.

You will have a wonderful, amazing time!

 

[Madi100]

I have been married for 10 1/2 years. I have spent those years trying to make everyone happy. My immediate family (DH and 2 DDs) never suffers. We always have a great time. I would never want to give up my time with my siblings. Nothing is more fun than getting together with my family and watching the kids play together and form bonds and realize how important family is. Those times comes at special times like Christmas, birthdays, other holidays, etc. They are wonderful memories that can't be forgotten.

With that said, I have now realized that I try to hard to hang onto that part of my family. They are still very important to me, and I will always try to get the family together. However, I need to put my family first. We need to have our traditions that include just the four of us. So, if I had the chance to go to WDW over Christmas with just my family, I wouldn't hestitate. The family will get over it.

Have you thought, though of going before Christmas when it's not so busy? They still have the celebration. We are going at the beginning of December. And, you can tell your SIL that your daugther will see plenty of Santa in WDW.

 

[devotedchristian]

"They don't get a Vote" GO!

 

[KATIESMOMMY]

I have been married for 10 1/2 years. I have spent those years trying to make everyone happy. My immediate family (DH and 2 DDs) never suffers. We always have a great time. I would never want to give up my time with my siblings. Nothing is more fun than getting together with my family and watching the kids play together and form bonds and realize how important family is. Those times comes at special times like Christmas, birthdays, other holidays, etc. They are wonderful memories that can't be forgotten.

With that said, I have now realized that I try to hard to hang onto that part of my family. They are still very important to me, and I will always try to get the family together. However, I need to put my family first. We need to have our traditions that include just the four of us. So, if I had the chance to go to WDW over Christmas with just my family, I wouldn't hestitate. The family will get over it.

Have you thought, though of going before Christmas when it's not so busy? They still have the celebration. We are going at the beginning of December. And, you can tell your SIL that your daugther will see plenty of Santa in WDW.

We arent able to go any other time than either the 17-26th Dec or over the 4th of July-DH is just not that flexible. I am a lot like you, I enjoy and need the family get togethers, they mean the world to us. Since I can remember I have always been in big family get togethers. Both our families are very close and I wouldnt have it any other way. We don't plan on making this a habit at Christmas as I want our DD to have the fond memories of the big family holidays that we both have. SIL will get over it I have decided, she is one of the ones that told me MIL that a holiday get together at WDW would be fun, so who knows--maybe all this drama was for nothing and I can have best of both worlds--family and WDW!I just dont think WDW could survive the 47 members of DH immediate family!

I can't wait to see the pictures!

I cant either--have bought 3 new memory cards for my digital already