Should teachers Shmooze?

[GBShorts]

*joins bandwagon*

I'm a teacher and split between two schools so I have to do TWO open houses every year.

I teach at POOR SCHOOLS but the parents are the same. Their kid is always in the right.

Having taught at all three levels, I've noticed something interesting. Elementary teachers, based on what they have TOLD me, are apprehensive when speaking in front of adults.

Middle and high school teachers, as a rule, seem a bit more laid back.

I actually like open house. I teach a fun subject that most kids like, and I think I have a pretty good rapport with the families.

Having said that, I'm still going to do my job whether or not they like me...but it's easier to deal with someone if they do.

 

[pixiepal53]

I teach middle school and I agree: open house/back to school night is never something I look forward to. While I don't necessarily have a problem talking in front of parents, it can be very nerveracking...especially since at my school we teach in teams, and our presentation is usually in front of about 80-100 parents! Last year was especially scary because we had the daughter of the school board president on our team, and there he was, FRONT ROW. Yikes!

Anyway, I never make it a point to schmooze parents, but I do try to smile and give them a nice handshake, and look them in the eye. I figure if I appear at least a bit confident, I may lessen any possible apprehension they have about me. But, I don't try too hard, because after all it is the student that I will form a relaltionship with, so I pay most of my attention to the kids on those nights.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

When DD#2 was assigned a K teacher, my neighbors told me upfront not to expect that she would deal well with parents,k but that she was great with kids. They were right! She was OK with me, but great with DD.
I teach HS and hate open house. We require a floppy disc be turned in with the summer reading paper. One parent told me I needed to upgrade my technology, because his son didn't have a floppy drive and could only give me a CD. Well, mr. parent, it is the school's technology, not mine (at the time we had Windows 95! We've since upgraded to XP). I love teaching honors but those parents are the worst. Every point I deduct has to be defended. At graduation this year some moron parent had a airhorn (we have it in the stadium) and after 3 or 4 blasts in my ear, I said that was "so white trash". Mind you I didn't yell it, I said it to one of my colleagues next to me. Someone in the stands behind me called my principal the next day and complained! Well, truth hurts, and until they move commencement into a decent facility with decent behavior, I'm not going to another one. I would never tell redneck jokes, they hit way too close to home for a lot of the people where I work. Another reason I don't live where I work!
Robin M.

 

[Conversationist]

The ability to speak with parents is part of the job description of a teacher. The parent is the utimate consumer.

Everyone needs to learn how to work a room, make a presentation and small talk if you are a real professional.

 

[teacherforhi]

The ability to speak with parents is part of the job description of a teacher. The parent is the utimate consumer.

Everyone needs to learn how to work a room, make a presentation and small talk if you are a real professional.

Just checked my job description. The only mention of parents is that I'm required to send them progress reports.

 

[clarabelle]

Thanks everyone for your responses

 

[Beth76]

The parent is the utimate consumer.

The child is the ultimate "consumer".

 

[Galahad]

Parents are the teachers' customers (an in a real sense, their employers). They should, IMO, develop the same customer relationship skills anybody needs to to deal with their customers/guests/patients/etc.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I am going to be the one to own up to this...

The answer to your question, for me anyway, is absolutely! Because I work in a VERY affluent, rich community, the parents can be somewhat draining. Without getting too specific, I have had the following comments thrown at me and a close friend who is the vice principal of the school:

1. I can see why you are MISS _________ and not MRS now!
2. I make a three figure salary and do not need to be told what professionals do.
3. Sure, my child has a busy schedule and not enough time for homework, but can I say "no" to his wanting to play another instrument? Of course, I can't. That would not be right. You need to assign less homework.
4. You have grey hair and are old and unprofessional. How can YOU relate to MY child?

This is one of my personal favs...a friend had this experience in another school...

5. My daughter has an IEP that clearly states she cannot carry a textbook to your class.

It was later discovered that this same child was head cheerleader and frequently holds other cheerleaders up in the air.

ugh!! NIKIBelle you know I complain about working in a low income community but I know that the people in the more affluent communites do treat you like hired help whereas in a blue collar community some are slightly in awe of the fact you have a masters. Many is the time I bemoan the fact that the parents are not involved but ,when I see the way many of the people in the higher income communities act, I know I need to stay where I am. I do NOT like to be fake or have to play a role that is not me. No one ever accused me of playing a role and I cannot be anything less than honest. Those are the same people who get the designer diagnosis of ADD for their kid in HS so they can take the SAT's untimed.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

The ability to speak with parents is part of the job description of a teacher. The parent is the utimate consumer.

Everyone needs to learn how to work a room, make a presentation and small talk if you are a real professional.

I agree with the ability to make a presentation I do not agree that I need to know where the parent went that weekend, what color nail polish they buy OR what their relationship with their husband/lover/bf is. That is the SMALL talk that most of collegues and myself are expected to endure. Sorry. My ONLY concern is the child and his performance in the classroom and/or anything that might alter his performance in the classroom. Frankly, I have my own friends I do not need to pick up new ones at parent night.

 

[Blondy876]

I think teachers (me included) need to be able to communicate effectively with the parents but my primary job is to teach.

Parents, especially news ones that I don't know yet make me nervous.

On a side note last year at our open house I told the parents that I was only going to be in the classroom for the first month then I would be going on maternity leave. I actually had one parent tell me, in front of the whole room of parents, that I should have planned the pregnancy so that it didn't interfere with their child's schooling. I politely apologized and told him that I had tried to do that but that I lost that baby to a miscarriage. He shut up pretty quickly.

 

[Miller1412]

I think teachers (me included) need to be able to communicate effectively with the parents but my primary job is to teach.

Parents, especially news ones that I don't know yet make me nervous.

On a side note last year at our open house I told the parents that I was only going to be in the classroom for the first month then I would be going on maternity leave. I actually had one parent tell me, in front of the whole room of parents, that I should have planned the pregnancy so that it didn't interfere with their child's schooling. I politely apologized and told him that I had tried to do that but that I lost that baby to a miscarriage. He shut up pretty quickly.

OMG!! We're TEACHERS not INDENTURED SERVANTS. What other profession...I ask you?????

I had a parent say something similar to be about how glad she was that I wasn't pregnant when I was in the middle of infertility treatment. She said she was so glad I wasn't pregnant, because she wouldn't have been able to put her son in my class if I was going to take any kind of maternity leave. I understand she was making a backhanded compliment...but it felt more like a punch in the stomach at the time.

And by the way...kids are the "consumers". And thankfully, the rewards of teaching come from them.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

OMG!! We're TEACHERS not INDENTURED SERVANTS. What other profession...I ask you?????

I had a parent say something similar to be about how glad she was that I wasn't pregnant when I was in the middle of infertility treatment. She said she was so glad I wasn't pregnant, because she wouldn't have been able to put her son in my class if I was going to take any kind of maternity leave. I understand she was making a backhanded compliment...but it felt more like a punch in the stomach at the time.

And by the way...kids are the "consumers". And thankfully, the rewards of teaching come from them.

Well said. Obviously the people that think they are the ultimate consumers IMHO are the ones we DO NOT Like to deal with.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Those are the same people who get the designer diagnosis of ADD for their kid in HS so they can take the SAT's untimed.

lol! We had a parent in the principal's office for at least 40 days last school year fighting for an ADD designed IEP. Let's not mention the comments in those conversations or the phone/email messages as well. By May, she was threatening legal action.

At the end of June, she admitted she wanted her son to have unlimited time on the SAT's.



By the way...

He is in the sixth grade.

 

[MinnieM3]

As a teacher of 3rd grade (catholic school) I do dread open house nights. I'm petrified to speak in front of any big group of people. I do it well, though, with a smile and leave time for Q and A! As far as talking to parents before and after the talk, I'm fine, pleasant, polite, and professional. I think it's very important to make a good first impression!