Should maternity wards limit visiting times?

[Searc]

I am a little surprised at how many of you have mentioned all the noises from other rooms and such. The hospital I had all three of mine in is very quiet. All rooms are private rooms. The labor and delivery room is in one area and after the baby goes to the nursery, they take you to your room.

With my boys it was 3 different rooms, labor room, delivery room and then my actual room. With Dd, just two. I hardly even saw another Mom, much less heard anyone.

Baby rooming in wasn’t an option with the boys and with Dd, dh had to go home to get the boys off to school this next morning so they wouldn’t leave her with me. But as soon as I was up at daylight, they brought her back to me. I asked the first nurse that I saw and she went and got her.

Where I gave birth, both times in two different hospitals, I was in the same room from the time I checked in until I left. I labored, delivered and stayed in the same room.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

How dare they kick us out of the maternity ward at 2 am.

 

[NotUrsula]

God, yes, especially if your facility has any shared rooms. I'm fine with ONE family member staying at all times, but no more than that. Maternity visitation should be limited to no more than 3 or so people , and the window for other children to visit should be VERY short, if allowed at all. (The teaching hospital where my DD was born did not allow siblings under age 5 except on a case-by-case basis if something had gone wrong. Little kids are often problematic from an infection control POV, and the machinery of medicine tends to scare them.) At very least, institute quiet hours so that patients can get some rest without noise from others' visitors keeping them awake.

The thing that many people fail to realize when on a maternity floor is that not everyone there is jubilant. Birth is not a simple process, and a lot can go wrong. Sometimes tragedies happen, and it's absolutely crushing to have to hear and see celebrations all around you if you are grieving in those circumstances.

 

[luvsJack]

Where I gave birth, both times in two different hospitals, I was in the same room from the time I checked in until I left. I labored, delivered and stayed in the same room.

Yeah, the hospital where my youngest granddaughter was born is like this. Really nice spacious rooms too!

 

[Funfire240]

When my oldest (11) was born, I ended up in a shared room after. It was miserable. I had a rough time and a lot of complications. For reasons, DH went home for the night and we opted to have DD in the nursery so I could get some rest. Unfortunately there was no rest. The lady next door had family members there very late and then back the next morning with the tv on loud all night (probably a whole other thread regarding private v semi-private rooms lol). Finally when DH came back the next morning he went and complained (I was on the back bed so had to pass all of her family members on the way to the restroom and who knows who else was using it from them too - very embarrassing being that out of it and then trying to make it past her whole group) After DH's complaints, they finally "found" a private room and moved me to it.
DS I had a private room from the start so didn't have any problems there

 

[smiths02]

To respect other people's need for rest, I think visiting hours are fine as long as it doesn't include the spouse/partner or designee staying with you and the baby.
I think 9am-9pm is a little restricted....maybe 7/8 am to 10 pm would be more realistic (similar to local noise ordinance).

When my son was in the NICU, they had NO visiting for shift changes (like 7am and 7pm, can't remember now exactly), and then only parents of the newborn at night. They also only allowed so many at a time and for only a certain length of time.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

When I had my kids, the policy was that immediate family (husband, other children, grandparents) could visit at any time 24/7. Everyone else had visiting hours. I think it was like a couple of hours in the morning, and afternoon.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think there should be some restrictions. New moms need sleep to recover!

 

[NotUrsula]

When I had my kids, the policy was that immediate family (husband, other children, grandparents) could visit at any time 24/7. Everyone else had visiting hours. I think it was like a couple of hours in the morning, and afternoon.

The problem with allowing "spouse, other children, grandparents" unrestricted 24/7 access is that could easily be at least 8 visitors at once. That's a party by my definition, and it could get pretty loud. I'm fine with saying that people with that status are allowed in 24/7, but I'd still want to limit how many of them could be there simultaneously.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

The problem with allowing "spouse, other children, grandparents" unrestricted 24/7 access is that could easily be at least 8 visitors at once. That's a party by my definition, and it could get pretty loud. I'm fine with saying that people with that status are allowed in 24/7, but I'd still want to limit how many of them could be there simultaneously.

Generally, the whole family doesn't come at the same time. Well, my family anyway.

As my husband was rooming in, he was there the whole time (only 2 days). Only one set of grandparents were local, so that's only 2 more. And they'd only come during the daytime, for short visits anyway.

Not my experience in maternity ward, but other hospital visits with my mother when she had various surgeries, there was a limit of XX number of people at one time. And enforced. I think most times it was no more than 2 or 3.

 

[msjprincess]

The hospital where I had my kids does have limited visiting hours. Which made me happy since all rooms are doubles. The hours were different with each of my kids. The current hours on the maternity ward are 10:30am-12:00 and 6:30-8:00pm

 

[Lilsia]

This was totally me. I had my baby in December and had an unexpected c-section after laboring. I was in the hospital for 4 nights and had visitors all the time. It felt like every time my husband and I would try to rest someone else would be walking in. One night after a slew of aunts uncles and siblings came and all wanted to hold my brand new baby who we waited 8 years for, I just cried after they left because I was so overwhelmed. So while I am a grown woman, my hormones were crashing and I would have appreciated some limited visiting hours .

Not to mention that some woman labor for many hours. When I went into labor it was early afternoon. I went to the hospital after hubby got home from work but I labored all night and did not have my child until the next morning. I lost a whole night's sleep and then pushed a baby out of me. I was exhausted. And as others have said, they kick you out way too soon. The hospital is the only place that you can send your baby to the nursery so you can get a couple of hours of sleep without having to worry about the baby. It's all you when you get home. My hospital story is that when I had my oldest, they put out breakfast type items for the Moms on the floor. Well after the all night labor, I was starved and went to get a bagel or something. They were completely out of food. All of the pastries, down to the last piece of bread for toast was gone. I looked down the hallway and there was a big family that had helped themselves to the food that was for the moms. This was before the days of 24 hour food whenever you want it. You had to wait until lunch time for them to give you another meal. I actually started yelling at them down the hall and a nurse came and said that she would find me some food. Then she kind of yelled at them herself.

We also have to remember that not everyone has an easy delivery and feel just fine after they give birth. Woman still die in childbirth and although they are not "sick" our bodies have gone through a tough time.

 

[Lilsia]

I would have LOVED limiting the visiting hours when I was in there- and it wasn't even for ME- we have double rooms here and my roommates husband would come at 9am and not go home until 9pm- I have NO break all day long- as soon as he got there they would but on Jazz music so "the baby will like jazz"- and then to boot she was a breastfeeder so at 2am the tv would come on and stay on the whole time she breastfed. Grandparents were also allowed up 9am-9pm so her mom would come most of that time too. The bathroom was on her side of the room so I would have to take my c-sectioned body up and walk past them the get to the bathroom. Oh and the best part the hospital had like a shower in a gym- just some stalls and small curtains- I went in to take a shower and a woman came in WITH her husband to take a shower (she claimed she needed help)- I was already in the shower so I was not getting out to complain but another woman came in to shower and went out and got the nurse to get him out of there. I couldn't wait to go home- I was exhausted- couldn't nap at all during the day with all the noise and activity going on on the other side of my room. Oh and I didn't even have my baby the entire time with me since she was in NICU.

That sounds horrible. I am sorry that that was your experience with having a baby. ALL new Moms should have private rooms. My Mom said that when she had my brother(1971) that the woman that roomed with her had lost her baby. It was horrible for everyone. That poor family that had the tragedy was next to someone who's baby survived and my Mom who felt horrible enjoying her new baby next to the Mom who lost hers.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

Not to mention that some woman labor for many hours. When I went into labor it was early afternoon. I went to the hospital after hubby got home from work but I labored all night and did not have my child until the next morning. I lost a whole night's sleep and then pushed a baby out of me. I was exhausted. And as others have said, they kick you out way too soon. The hospital is the only place that you can send your baby to the nursery so you can get a couple of hours of sleep without having to worry about the baby. It's all you when you get home. My hospital story is that when I had my oldest, they put out breakfast type items for the Moms on the floor. Well after the all night labor, I was starved and went to get a bagel or something. They were completely out of food. All of the pastries, down to the last piece of bread for toast was gone. I looked down the hallway and there was a big family that had helped themselves to the food that was for the moms. This was before the days of 24 hour food whenever you want it. You had to wait until lunch time for them to give you another meal. I actually started yelling at them down the hall and a nurse came and said that she would find me some food. Then she kind of yelled at them herself.

We also have to remember that not everyone has an easy delivery and fell just fine after they give birth. Woman still die in childbirth and although they are not "sick" our bodies have gone through a tough time.

You bring up some great points. With my oldest, I was in labor at the hospital for 22.5 hrs before they finally decided to do a C-section, at which point I was so delirious, it took 10 mins for my DH to get me to understand that I just needed to say the word "yes" for them to do the surgery. I ended up puking my guts up and having a blockage afterwards so I was on morphine and an IV diet for the first couple of days.

Apparently I had numerous friends and co-workers stop by the hospital (I was in the military and it was pretty standard for half your command to show up at one point or another and you couldn't really tell some of them not to) and to this day, I don't remember a single one being there. Thinking back, it probably would have been nice if they flat out hadn't let visitors in that first day, given the shape I was in. I do remember my mom stopping by with fries from Popeyes when I was still on my IV diet and wanting to hit her for eating them in front of me.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I wish more people would respect the idea that those first days and weeks are for mom and baby to rest, recover, bond, and establish breastfeeding (if applicable). If people would prioritize the mother and baby’s needs over their wants then the whole question of limiting visiting hours would be moot because the situation wouldn’t get out of hand in the first place. When mom and baby are only going to be in hospital for 24-48 hours, there’s really no need for more than a very few people to be involved during that time — the father and perhaps one or two others who are providing assistance and support, if needed. It’s not appropriate for extended relatives, general friends, acquaintances, and coworkers to intrude during that (often exhausting, emotional, and stressful) time just because they’re eager to catch a glimpse of the new baby. Babies don’t spoil. They will still be little and cute in another week or month when the parents have had some time to recuperate and the visit can take place outside of a working medical facility.

I gave birth to my son at a birth center and was back home 8 hours later. Five people were invited to come see him that weekend (when he was 4 and 5 days old), another five were invited the following weekend, and no one stayed more than an hour. It was a month after that before there was another visit. Even that was the absolute max I really felt like I wanted to deal with. I don’t know how new mothers handle it when there’s a parade of people descending on them hours after birth. ((Shudder)) More power to ‘em, I couldn’t do it.

 

[NotUrsula]

Generally, the whole family doesn't come at the same time. Well, my family anyway.

As my husband was rooming in, he was there the whole time (only 2 days). Only one set of grandparents were local, so that's only 2 more. And they'd only come during the daytime, for short visits anyway.

Not my experience in maternity ward, but other hospital visits with my mother when she had various surgeries, there was a limit of XX number of people at one time. And enforced. I think most times it was no more than 2 or 3.

When I had my oldest, the parents and inlaws of the lady in the room next door got into an argument in her room at about 10 pm. (DS was born at 7 pm.) Apparently, she had refused to allow her MIL in the delivery room, but did have her mother there, and so the in-laws showed up the moment she was transferred to a regular room, and then her mother and father turned up from having gone to get something to eat. The MIL accused the Mom of trying to keep her out of her son's life. Naturally, the men stuck up for their own wives, which caused them to start arguing with one another because "you don't talk to my wife that way!" This went on for close to an hour (with the new mom AND the baby crying through part of it) before a nurse came in and told them that only one of the older ladies could stay, at which point it descended into, "well, if she stays, I stay!" so that the Charge Nurse finally had to call Security to have the lot of them escorted out.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Payment/insurance isn't the issue here; it's just the accepted standard of care. It also may vary from province to province; maybe @kimblebee or @CdnCarrie could mention Manitoba; @marcyleecorgan could mention BC and @mombrontrent could tell us about Ontario. My knowledge strictly applies to Alberta.

Can't help you with BC, I am also an Albertan!

On-Topic, my opinion? I don't think ANY hospital maternity ward should be allowing guests other than the father/direct support to the mother (max 3 people). The hoopla of showing off your offspring can wait until you are home from the hospital. People are there to rest and recover, not have a party.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I'm admitting I haven't read replies!

No, I don't think limiting visiting hours is the issue. The parents can handle scheduling (or not scheduling) visitors. I'm not sure what type of relationships new moms have with their friends and family, but all visits to the hospital were coordinated through me and my husband and it was just our parents and one or two siblings.

The REAL problem is the "Baby Friendly Hospital" initiative...which is a hospital cost saving measure disguised as "evidence based medicine." It promotes breastfeeding above all else and nurses are often "dinged" if their patent gives formula to their baby. Along with this, most "Baby Friendly" hospitals no longer have a nursery or an option to send baby to the nurses station for a couple hours--all babies are roomed in 24 hours a day with mom.

I gave birth to my first daughter in a "Baby Friendly Hospital." My postpartum stay was exhausting. After being up for over 36 hours with the labor and birth (went into a loooong labor just as I was getting ready for bed at night) and my husband left a few hours after the birth to get our dogs...the nurses refused to take my baby for a couple hours so I could take a nap. Finally one relented but she said "she was breaking all the rules" by watching the baby.

I gave birth to my other two in a non Baby Friendly Hospital and the nurses encouraged me to let them take the baby for a few stretches overnight or for an hour during the day if I wanted to shower. I LOVED it and came home from my stay feeling refreshed and rested to face the reality of life with a newborn.

 

[HeatherC]

If the hospital has private room then I don’t see the need to limit visiting hours. Anew mom can always just tell people not to come and that she just wants to rest.


I can see how shared rooms can be a nightmare and think it may be a good idea to limit the time people can come so others can get some rest if they want to.

 

[ronandannette]

Can't help you with BC, I am also an Albertan!

On-Topic, my opinion? I don't think ANY hospital maternity ward should be allowing guests other than the father/direct support to the mother (max 3 people). The hoopla of showing off your offspring can wait until you are home from the hospital. People are there to rest and recover, not have a party.

Hey, I didn’t know that - for some reason I thought you were from the Coast. Howdy neighbour!