Should kids show respect for adults on buses?

[txaggiemomof3]

We just returned from a week-long vacation at POR and the bus situation there was awful. We stood most of the time as did our 3 children (ages 9, 6 & 4). Every once in awhile, a kind adult would offer up their seat to one of our kids and I made a big point to thank them for doing that. The Disney buses are not made to accomodate young children in the aisles. Many times there were no adequate places for my kids to hold on to. I could not believe how many seemingly able-bodied adults sat in their seats and watched kids trying to hang on to anything they could while the bus was going. Luckily for us, we had a rental car during our stay and chose to use that part of the time. I felt bad for people who had no other way to get to the parks.

I was really disappointed in Disney for not providing better transportation services. I have been reading about the bad bus service at POR over the last several months and thought surely it would be better by the time we arrived. I can't imagine it being much worse. There's no excuse for people being packed into buses like cattle. Not only is it not safe for children, I can't imagine that it is safe for anyone else either. Why are they not running more buses to the crowded resorts?

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Just coming back from DW I noticed some things I didn't like about the busses and children. We came home many late nights and one in particular I remember. A child about 6 or 7 and her father were on the bus and there were plenty of seats and the kid tells her father she wants to stand up. Well the bus took off and she was flying and falling all over the place and if I was her parent I'd tell her to sit down but the father actually thought it was funny!!!! Makes me so mad!! Funny until she gets hurt and then tries to sue Disney or something!!!

 

[krissylynne]

It was never my intension in getting so many people upset when I started this thread with a question. I am surprised at some peoples attitudes, and glad that so many people are so gracious. I will say again that I did learn some things. Primarily about safety. We would pull our daughter in our lap, or we would stand up to make room for someone else that needed a seat or an elder of ours or our daughters. I am sorry, but if there is a way for my daughter to remain safe while still providing a seat for someone in need I will do it. I am not saying that I will make her stand either. With keeping her safe I can make a situation better for someone else. I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders. I can suffer through standing up for a 10 minute bus ride so someone else can be more comfortable. I would do it for an elder or not, if it was someone who appeared that they would appreviate a seat then yes, I would make room or stand. I think that it always pays just to be nice sometimes. Again, while keeping everyone safe. Thank you for your opinions, and thank you for what I have been taught.

 

[krissylynne]

OMG! Is that it???? That's a crime, since it is well-established that that's the least safe way of transporting an infant on board an aircraft. The fact that they allow it is only due to financial constraints on young families -- that they cannot afford to purchase a seat! In an emergency situation, do you know where on the airplane your child is safest (if not in their own seat, secured in a child-safety seat)? Under the seat in front of you, like your baggage.

I do not think that all young families do it because it is a financial constraint. I think that some may view it as, " I can just put _______ on my lap. They are tiny and will do just fine." It is also a fact that young families are richer now that what they have been in years. Where I am from the average student graduates college making at least 90,000. Not to shabby for a single person or a newly wed. I also believe that many people may not be thinking of the safety issue while on a plane. Money has nothing to do with it.

 

[Schmeck]

What this all comes down to is people judging others - who has the right to say that someone should stand up, someone else should sit there, etc? Everyone deserves the seat they are in - no one is better or 'more deserving' than others. You get there first, that's your seat. You don't get a seat, wait for the next bus, or stand.

To those that think they were 'brought up right' to respect elders, regardless, blindly, well, that I don't agree with. That elder person has the choice of waiting for the next bus, getting a taxi, renting a car. They don't 'deserve' my seat if I was there first. What if I had waited for another bus just to get a seat for my kids? Am I to get off because 20 senior citizens got on the bus behind me, and they deserve seats more than I do?

I have given up my seat for others, if I feel like it. Sometimes I'm too tired, or my re-excision on the back of my leg is aching, or I'm a bit dizzy. My DD12 has poor balance (birth defect in one eye) and I really want her to sit too, in her own seat, as she is too big for my lap. We have waited for a second bus so that we can sit. And in the past, when she was small enough to sit in my lap, sometimes I'd still let her have her own seat because we were hot, and she has a very boney behind, and it would hurt me when she sat on me for extended amounts of time. I've also had my two girls share a seat, and that made them upset with each other as they were very uncomfortable, as the seating is not very flat.

So, it's fine with me if others want to give up their seats, but don't expect me to, and don't expect others to either. Don't think they're rude, as you don't know the circumstances for everyone. Maybe they think you're rude!

 

[kaw1218]

ok, I guess I'll take the unpopular stance.

For safety reasons I'd rather see kids sit and adults stand. Not all children are small enough to comfortably sit on people's laps (7 and up), but neither are they tall enough to reach the overhead straps/bar to hang onto. The buses often make rather sharp turns. In some spots on the bus there is no vertical handrail to hold onto, particularly if you are near a wheelchair accessible area. If the bus made a left or went fast around a curve a child could be pitched to the side. It's hard enough for adults to hang on sometimes let alone somebody who can't get a good grip.

Frequently on buses, I gave my seat to a kid who was too big to sit on somebody's lap, or those laps were already full. A healthy adult can stand just fine, but I didn't think it was reasonable for somebody who would have a hard time holding on to have to stand. To me that would include anyone elderly, pregnant or under about 5 foot tall. I would give up my seat for somebody who looks like they need it, but for reasons of safety I wouldn't make my 6 year old son. (who is 4"4 & 70 pounds and not sitting on my lap. lol)

I agree with the safety issue....My DD10 will stand and can hold onto a rail. but my DD7's legs are turned, so she cannot always walk without tripping, so I will never expect her to try to stand on a moving bus. We have waited for the next bus so we can have seats, but we have encountered SO many rude people! I actually had a guy get all huffy because he had to stand while 'some lady was letting her KID sit down, and where is the respect anymore'

He actually said that! I am sorry, but I think a healthy adult can hold a rail...or wait for the next bus. If you get on a crowded bus, expect to stand. Don't expect someone to give you a seat. That I find is more rude.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Should kids respect adults? ALWAYS.

Should they yield their seat regardless of their age to someone just b/c they are older than they are...NO.

Seats are first come, first serve. Teach courtesy to offer to those more in need...being older than the person seated is not an automatic "need" that the seat should be given up for you.

Sometimes the munchkin is indeed more in need of the seat than an able bodied adult.

 

[fabshelly]

This is a topic that has been brought up a few times lately. I have a pet peeve. When our family has used bus transportation and the bus gets full, We always have our daughter sit in our lap or stand up to make room for another adult. I sometimes feel we are the only famililies that do this. There have been times when myself or my husband get up so one of our elders can sit down. So often you see kids sitting down when there are several adults and older people standing. That is just not right. What is everyone elses take on this. Am I just old fashioned or do we have more and more families who dont practice common maners anymore?


Krissylynne

They should show respect for elders everywhere.

But not all the kids sitting are horrible; maybe the child is truly exhausted, or has a non-visible disability. Or not. Tough call.

 

[bicker]

<snip>

So, it's fine with me if others want to give up their seats, but don't expect me to, and don't expect others to either. Don't think they're rude, as you don't know the circumstances for everyone. Maybe they think you're rude!

Well said!

 

[vhoffman]

How do you know if the seated child has a disability/problem that would make standing difficult? Last summer my dd8 injured her foot. I let her ride in the basket at the grocery store. It was either that or hobble around on crutches, which was difficult for her. I can't believe the comments she got! People stared at her, said things like "she's too big to be pushed around", and one 'lady' even said to her "What' the matter? Are you crippled? That's the only excuse for being pushed around in a grocery basket". she actually said that to my dd, not even knowing if the child was disabled/injured. Well, I guess my dd was not respectful of her "elders" (I was probably older than the 'lady'). DD said to the 'lady', "I really don't need to give any excuse to you for being pushed around in a cart. My mom's doing the pushing, so its really none of your business." Oh, what a rude child. That 'lady' got what she deserved. There is such a thing as being respectful of a child, too. I didn't correct dd, why should I? She was attacked and gave back!

But my point is that you can't always tell from looking at someone what their circumstances are, and you shouldn't expect anyone, child or adult, to give up their seat for you just because you're there. Some situations, like a pregnant woman, or sommeone obviously disabled, such as on crutches, is deserving of kindness and consideration. But age alone doesn't determine seating on a bus, especially expecting children to jump out of their seats for any adult who happens to get on board!

 

[krissylynne]

I never said that kids that are sitting in a seat are horrible. I just said that we would try to make it possible for someone to have a seat. People are picking and choosing what they want to hear out of this entire topic. I never said kids who do not make arrangements for other people are horrible. It was just a question that now everyone is getting all tore up about.

SORRY!

 

[GEM]

I never said that kids that are sitting in a seat are horrible. . . I never said kids who do not make arrangements for other people are horrible.

Actually, you kind of did. Below is a quote from your first post.

So often you see kids sitting down when there are several adults and older people standing. That is just not right. What is everyone elses take on this. Am I just old fashioned or do we have more and more families who dont practice common maners anymore?

 

[tfiga]

In my opinion, a perfectly healthy teenager 12 or older should give up their seat for the elderly, the pregnant, the disabled, any adult holding a child and any child under the age of 12. This is common courtesy. But I fail to see why a teenager would give up their seat to a healthy able bodied adult. If both people are equally able to stand, I would say whoever gets the seat should use it...This is not about respect. My children say Ms., Mrs., Mr. to all adults, they open doors, use their manners etc. This is respect, giving up your seat to another healthy individual is not.

 

[krissylynne]

Actually, you kind of did. Below is a quote from your first post.

I never said they were horrible.
I also said in another post that I did learn somethings about safety. It was never once said these kids were horrible. .

 

[disneyjunkie]

This is a topic that has been brought up a few times lately. I have a pet peeve. When our family has used bus transportation and the bus gets full, We always have our daughter sit in our lap or stand up to make room for another adult. I sometimes feel we are the only famililies that do this. There have been times when myself or my husband get up so one of our elders can sit down. So often you see kids sitting down when there are several adults and older people standing. That is just not right. What is everyone elses take on this. Am I just old fashioned or do we have more and more families who dont practice common maners anymore?


Krissylynne

In your first post you say that families that allow their kids to sit don't practice common manners.

You've gone on to imply that these families lack respect for their elders.

People are getting "torn up" about the judgmental comments you've made.

 

[krissylynne]

It was never my intension in getting so many people upset when I started this thread with a question. I am surprised at some peoples attitudes, and glad that so many people are so gracious. I will say again that I did learn some things. Primarily about safety. We would pull our daughter in our lap, or we would stand up to make room for someone else that needed a seat or an elder of ours or our daughters. I am sorry, but if there is a way for my daughter to remain safe while still providing a seat for someone in need I will do it. I am not saying that I will make her stand either. With keeping her safe I can make a situation better for someone else. I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders. I can suffer through standing up for a 10 minute bus ride so someone else can be more comfortable. I would do it for an elder or not, if it was someone who appeared that they would appreviate a seat then yes, I would make room or stand. I think that it always pays just to be nice sometimes. Again, while keeping everyone safe. Thank you for your opinions, and thank you for what I have been taught.

This is one of the last quotes that I have done. I did say that I did learn about safety. Things were brought to my attention that I did not consider before. The part of showing respect for your elders was hammered into my brain so much while growing up, maybe to much. Maybe, I am still scared of the consequences if I do not show respect when given. I never intented to make people think I thought that there kids were horrible. After the safety issue was pointed out it was more clear. Thank you again for your input, and I apologize if I offended anyone. That was never my intenttion. Again I did learn many things.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Wow. I mean, just wow. Let's all breathe.

In various cities that I've visited around the world, students can lose their bus passes for not giving their seat to an adult on a crowded bus or train. I have never seen this rule enforced, but I've seen it posted on lots of busses and trains. Therefore, I don't think that it's necessarily old-fashioned or out of style. I would like to see more of your average 12-18 year-olds giving up seats for adults. If nothing else, it shows that the teens recognize that others exist, and it's not just all about them. Then again, there are many many people who fully subscribe to the hooray-for-me-to-heck-with-you philosophy of life, and they had to start somewhere!

To the safety of lap sitting v. seat sitting issue: toddlers are safer in a parent's lap on a bus. My little one was nearly thrown from his seat when our city bus stopped short. He was saved from a tumble when I threw my arm out in front of him. Meanwhile, my body didn't really budge because I had my feet on the ground to keep me in place. Had he been in my lap with my arms around him, he wouldn't have moved either. He rides in my lap now.

 

[fromscratchmom]

Sorry, long-winded insomniac rant removed.

 

[Momof2princess]

Should kids respect adults? ALWAYS.

Should they yield their seat regardless of their age to someone just b/c they are older than they are...NO.

Seats are first come, first serve. Teach courtesy to offer to those more in need...being older than the person seated is not an automatic "need" that the seat should be given up for you.

Sometimes the munchkin is indeed more in need of the seat than an able bodied adult.

Well said


If you are in that need of a seat then you should wait for the next bus or get a cab. I frankly think this has nothing to do with respect....there is a huge difference between a 7 year old giving up a seat for an elderly women/man in a wheelchair/walker than a 42 year old man/women.... What about adults showing respect for children? Its a two way street and earned both ways..not a given

 

[fromscratchmom]

KrissyLynne, I'm sorry its gone the way it has. I'd have sent you a message privately for this if I could. But I haven't figured out how, yet. I understood perfectly from your original post that it was the trend, the seeing it often, that led you to possibly be frustrated with state of things and wish to see more people show understanding and respect for some or even all of the issues that go into your personal decision, kindness, respect, tradition, deference, all of which I believe have a value. And I am thinking that if I were in your position, I'd be mighty frustrated at this point. Just wanted to let you know that your original post came across pretty well to atleast one person. I never assumed that you would have interfered with me and my kids or been rude to us if you happened to be on a bus with us at the same time that one of my kids was more in need than usual and therefore just sitting. In fact, since it came across in such a way as to imply that you see value in the above mentioned concepts, I assumed that you were pretty likely to not be one of the rude people. And that is coming from someone who has experienced people not understanding a special situation, such as one day while recovering from an operation when I parked in a handicapped spot but forgot to stick the temporary handicap tag that was issued to me on the mirror. I got quite a lot of venom out of 2 people who were near by as I got out of my car, inspite of the fact that there was something like 8 empty handicapped spots available. Even though I succeeded at not responding in kind and just said "oh, I forgot." and then turned around and stuck the tag on the mirror, they did not apologize. My thought was that they would never have apologized no matter what and would have only "respected" me if I had responded in kind. But that is ok, gaining the respect of people like that is not a goal of mine.

Anyway, you've obviously stuck with this and tried to deal with it as best as you can. I don't think there is any shame, if you just unsubscribe the thread rather than going on and on with it indefinitely. (You just have to click on thread tools to see that option, unless it is not available to the original poster.) Just an idea. I've not used that option ever, but I probably will on one other thread that just has too much activity filling up my email inbox.