should I tell my parents?

[HeyMickey]

Help me DISers, I have a dilemma.

My younger brother is 17 and has had his driver's license for about 6 months now. My parents let him take our family car out pretty much whenever he wants and drive his friends around and stuff.

Here's the issue: He has a Xanga. (Xanga is a weblog/journal service.) He links to it in his Instant Messenger profile, and he knows I have his screen name, so I feel that it's fair game for me to read. He wrote in it today that over the weekend he was out with his friends and was doing donuts and running the car up on curbs and stuff in a parking lot at night.

I'm wondering if I should tip my parents off. This is an expensive car, fairly new, and my dad keeps it in beautiful shape, but my brother has no respect for it at all. A couple weeks ago one of his friends put their dirty shoes all over the glovebox and dashboard - and the car had just been detailed a few days before. Our new snow tires and hubcaps are going to get trashed from all this crazy driving. Not to mention that in the cold weather we're having he could easily hit some black ice, and that's a good way to get yourself and all your friends killed.

Normally I would leave this alone since it was written in a journal, but the journal is public and I feel like this impacts the whole family. It's my parents' car, the only one my mom and I drive, and my parents pay the insurance. And God forbid something should happen, my parents will be held responsible since my brother is a minor. I would talk to my brother myself, but he wouldn't listen to me.

So, what do you think? Do I leave this alone or tip off my parents and let them deal with it? Help.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

How would you feel if something happened and you had kept quiet about this? I would tell them. Sibling secrecy rules don't apply when someone's well being is at stake.
Robin M.

 

[Tess]

Tell them! I am the parent of one of those new driver's--in fact, he won't have his full license for another couple of months. I see kids every day driving like crazy people on their way to school, through the school parking lots, etc.--I do NOT hesitate to tell their parents (it's a small town and we pretty much know the other parents here).

When I do "rat out" a kid--I make sure to emphasize that I WANT to be told if either of my kids are doing anything that puts them or others in danger! You are in a position that it doesn't have to be made known that you "finked" on your brother. You can inform your parents and let them have it out with your brother--they do not need to disclose their sources. The parents with whom we have the reciprocal report agreements never tell the kids who blew the whistle--that's not important. . .stopping the dangerous behavior is what's important. It's been a great tool here that our kids all know they aren't getting away with things--gives them pause and time to think about future courses anyway.

Disrespecting another's property is bad enough--putting other people and onself in danger is unconscionable. I would die a thousand deaths if anything happened to my kids because of their irresponsible behavior or that of another. . .they would feel the same if they hurt someone else--it's a lifelong burden either way.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

They absolutely need to know. And God forbid, if anything ever did happen, you would never be able to forgive yourself. He doesn't need to know that it was you who said something.
they could tell him one of their friends saw him or something like that. Maybe that would help keep the family peace.

 

[phorsenuf]

You could always put a bug in their ear about his online journal entry and that perhaps they should check it out sometime....

 

[Pembo]

I agree with phorsenuf~clue them in to the online journal. That way you didn't really tell them.

 

[HeyMickey]

Wow, instant service here on the dis.

Thank you all so much for your reassurance. I am going to tell my parents as soon as I can, and I feel so much better now that you have all backed me up on this.

I think I am just going to tell my parents what I read, and I will give them the link to the journal if they say they want it. The only reason I was feeling hesitant to say anything in the first place was that I have had my privacy violated via my (private, unpublicized) online journal and it's a horrible feeling. Since his isn't private and this is potentially very serious I think I am justified. If he hates me because of this so be it... but you're all right, if something happened and I had never told anyone I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Again, thank you all.

 

[Kallison]

Rat him out, he is being an idiot. A car is not a toy, it is a weapon when not used properly.

 

[doxdogy]

I agree with the others rat him out. If my kid was doing something this immature and I knew that his sibling knew and didn't tell me. I would be upset for the sibling not letting me know what he was doing with the car.

 

[trishy]

It is possible he was just writing that to "show off" in his journal for attention with his IM friends, but if it wasn't then you could be saving his life by bringing this up to your parents. I would want to know - and I wouldn't care how I came by this information. If you feel your brother would retaliate by your (perceived) "betrayal", I would show your parents the way to his journal and let them read it - this way giving you the allibi of not having "told on him". If he gets upset, so what? Someday he'll appreciate the wonderful, loving, caring sibling you are. We should all be so lucky.