Should I tell her?

[Colleen A.]

My 8 yr old DD still believes in Santa but there are kids in her class that don't and have told her Santa is not real and it is your parents buying the gifts for you. She has mentioned this to me a few times recently and has always said that she tells them that Santa is real. I hate to see this part of her childhood end and really don't know what to do. My older DD was SO upset when she found out the truth and I would hate to ruin Christmas for my daughter (at this point, I wonder why we, as parents, tell our kids this when they are usally so upset to learn the truth! ). Do you think I should tell her now or wait til after the holidays?

Colleen

 

[Steve H.]

I guess the big thing is do you want her finding out through a friend at school or from you? I'd talk to her -- it's best off coming from you (and frankly, she probably doesn't believe at this point and has been playing it up a little lately for your benefit anyways).

 

[Kelsie]

Personally, I am going through this also. I will wait until AFTER the Holiday and if she asks again, I may tell her the truth. I want her to enjoy this year of magic, it may be her last.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'd wait and tell her after the holidays too...most kids try to eek out one more year of believing, even though they have serious doubts. Giving up on the fantasy is a big part of moving from little kid to big kid.

Last year, we were positive DS no longer believed, although he didn't say anything about it. He was 7. A couple of months after Christmas he told us he didn't believe any more.

 

[BWVDenise]

My ds is 8 also, and I think he says he believes it just because he's afraid if he doesn't, he won't get any gifts. I never played up the whole Santa thing in the first place. I wasn't comfortable lying to him and I didn't want it coming back to bite me.
The funny thing about this age is the reasoning skills. He reasons that since Santa doesn't actually have to PAY for the gifts, he could ask for REALLY expensive things and it wouldn't matter.

My dd (5), on the other hand, sat on "Santa's" lap for the first time EVER this past weekend. She was always too afraid of him to do it.

 

[wvjules]

I'd tell her. I'm sure her classmates that are in the "know" might be making fun of her for believing. I would tell her the truth now instead of waiting.

 

[wovenwonder]

I have to agree with telling her now. You don't want her getting made fun of in school for still 'believing' only to stand up for herself because her parents told her its true so it must be.

My son actually thought it was a big deal when I told him the scoop (he was 6). He had fun playing the Santa game with kids he knew that were younger. It was fun for him to be one of the 'big kids' playing along.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I just keep saying he is real and probably will always...it is just how we do things in my family.
I tell 11yo dd if you don't want to believe in "him" you don't have to. Even though she doesn't believe she will still say she does at 11yso. She knows it means more gifts.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I just told my 10 year old--we have pictures of Santa with us when they were asleep 6 years ago (it's her uncle) and that worked for a long time, plus her denial! She was one of two girls in her class that still believed, and in 5th grade, I knew she'd be getting teased soon. But I don't know if this will last this long with the younger two. I had to explain everything and she still asks questions (who eats the cookies?) but I also let her help pick out stocking stuffers for her brother and sister at World of Disney, which helped. I think if you can keep the kids from getting teased, you should.
Robin M.

 

[Mskanga]

My 9 yr old knows we are the ones buying the presents , she figured it out last year after she caught one of the receipts I left laying around and she saw everything she had gotten for christmas was there but she never said anything. She has been told that the Santa story is true but the not knowing what she is going to get , keeps her just as excited. Sad to see how they are growing up but the spirit of Christmas is sill there, just a different one!

 

[wvjules]

She knows it means more gifts.

So when your kids stop believing, they will get less gifts!?!?!?!?!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sad but true. I probably buy too many gifts because of Santa.

 

[disykat]

I always said "what do you think?" to that question with my older son. For a few years he said "I think he is." When he just turning nine, he answered "I'm not sure" so we talked about it and I answered his questions.

We never really made a huge deal about Santa - just sort of followed the kids lead. I noticed that as they get older they make much less of a deal about him. My younger son is 7 and hasn't said much this year, but still seems to believe.

 

[Disneyaholic]

There is a great book called "So Many Gifts" by Anne Marie Pierce that I highly recommend for anyone in this situation.

It says how Santa Claus gets too busy and has to have the older children and adults help with Christmas gifts. It's a great way to break the news without it being too traumatic, in case they weren't really ready...

My kids are teenagers now, and I still have to read this book (for myself, not for them, LOL) every year...

 

[snoopy]

I just keep saying he is real and probably will always...it is just how we do things in my family.

LOL, sounds familiar.

I do the same thing. I'm not worried about my kid being teased in school for believing in Santa. He's a tough kid, he can stand a little teasing.

And I assume my kids will come to the realization eventually that a big fat man in a red suit does not come down their chimney. But they won't hear it from me.

Although I do like disneykat's suggestion. Encouraging the child to tell what he/she knows by asking questions is probably the best approach.

 

[ByTheSea]

Am going through the exact situation with my 8 year old DS. He is REALLY excited about Christmas but keeps talking about a few of his "buddies" who say Santa is not real, or a few of other religions, etc. that never believed.

But he has reasoned it out and feels sorry for those who don't believe, actually he says he feels sorry for their parents as they have to go out and BUY all the gifts that Santa brings to the kids who believe....

I don't think I ever want to tell him any different but I suppose it will have to happen sooner or later, just not before THIS Christmas, that's for sure....

although, he is positive Santa is bringing something I am positive Santa will NOT be bringing.. so that might do it...

 

[snoopy]

although, he is positive Santa is bringing something I am positive Santa will NOT be bringing.. so that might do it...

heh heh, by the sea, I'm thinking that is what might push my 7-year old over the edge as well.......

 

[SonjaB]

I'm with Snoopy, mine will never hear it from me. I've already told my oldest, "When you stop believing, it stops happening"

Maybe he doesn't need the fantasy anymore, but I still do.