Should I speak to the school...... what do you think

[snookhams]

As many of you are aware, DS pictured below, is exceptionally tall for his age, 6'5" at the last measurement and he was only 15 on the 4th of this month. Well on Monday this week he went into school late as he had his interview (and swimming test!! ha, ha) for his work experience, but when he did arrive he kept experiencing kids pointing at him and laughing or shouting things at him etc, this went on until lunchtime when one of his friends told him why.

Assembly that morning was by a girl in his year who is a dwarf and was about the genetic condition and how her daily life is a struggle, well she apparantly made some comments along the lines of 'When Daniel S...... stands there showing off and making nasty comments it's horrible and when he is aroung I can't see anything, etc etc... this went on for a couple of minutes apparantly mentioning him by name on several occasions, and now alot of the other students have assumed that Daniel has been bullying her. This is not something that he would do as he has suffered terribly with being bullied for years and would in no way treat someone that way, he has come home from school really upset and actually said to me 'Mum why did she say that I have only ever said hello to her, I can't help how tall I am just like she can't help how small she is'. Yesterday he had an egg thrown at him from the food tech room as he passed, the teacher just passed it of as high jinks!

Do you think I should contact his year head and find out exactly what was said in the assembly or just leave it to blow over....

 

[Minniespal]

I would speak to the head. Bullying should be taken seriously. If your DS is getting the reputation as being a bully then this should be addressed and clarification given. As they say, 'mud sticks', so these runours should be 'nipped in the bud'.

Good Luck

 

[fizz13]

So sorry this has happened to your DS. I would definately talk to his head of year to get the facts, but do it as discreetly as possible, the last thing you'd want is the other kids seeing you come in and assume its because DS is in trouble for bullying or something. I was going to suggest DS approaching the girl in question about what she said but that could be taken the wrong way as well. Basically you need to get the facts as neither you or DS were at the assembly, so its hard to make the call. I'm suprised that she was allowed this opportunity to air her grievances about your son though, not a supportive fair school environment at all.
Don't know if I've helped at all but good luck

 

[beck0321]

Well, gawd! Why would people make fun of him for being so tall?! We had a really tall guy in our class, but he was cool and EVERYONE liked him. His height wasn't really an issue.
And also I DO think you should call the school and ask them why they allowed this girl to single him out and make him look like a bad guy. Even if it was true, that wasn't the place to bring it up. I think you need to get to the bottom of this somehow.

 

[mandymouse]

I am so sorry to hear that your DS is having a hard time. I know deep down I would be straight up the school trying to get it sorted out but I know that my DD's would be desperately telling me not to make a big fuss about it and to let it blow over

Sorry that I'm no help, but if I was you I would ask him what he would like you to do and then take it from there

Good luck

Mandy

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

I agree that you should contact the school, you don't have to go in person if that would embarrass your son, ring up the head of year. The girl should not have been allowed to name anyone guilty or not, that is something for the teaching staff to sort out in private. I would be fuming about a teacher classing egg throwing as 'high jinks' that is extremely unacceptable behaviour. I hope both you and he feels better soon.

 

[natalielongstaff]

i agree with mandy, ask daniel how he feels the situation could be handled and take it from there

 

[Richard Bruvofetc]

I would also ask the question, that if someone had made open allegations about your son why none of the teacher's haven't followed it up with him. It would also make me question the school's policy on bullying. This accusation is about bullying and the school should have followed it up with your son.

 

[Boo Boo Too]

I agree that you should contact the school, you don't have to go in person if that would embarrass your son, ring up the head of year. The girl should not have been allowed to name anyone guilty or not, that is something for the teaching staff to sort out in private. I would be fuming about a teacher classing egg throwing as 'high jinks' that is extremely unacceptable behaviour. I hope both you and he feels better soon.

I agree - think that you need to speak to someone at the school, to ensure that this is investigated.

Really, if there was ANY question/accusation of any bullying by the girl, the school should be investigating that. Ok it is incredibly unlikely that your son did it, but the school should investigate it anyway.

Whilst at school, being on the receiving end of an unprovoked reasonably-sized stone thrown at my head (it hit me just above one of my eyes) and the boys mother believing that he told her that it was because I called him a "stupid Irish git" (no I didn't - that just isn't me) and, therefore, she considered it acceptable that he threw a stone at my head... Sometimes people's kids can do things that are not quite right, but they cannot accept that (that doesn't mean that I do think that your son is a bully!). I think that there can be two sides to every story - and it is best to get these things investigated independently (although that is never any gairantee that everyone tells the truth...).

The school should investigate the matter and take appropriate action - which should be, assuming no bullying has occured, the girl making a public apology and retracting her comments. If she is made public accusations, then your son is entitled to a public apology...

Wouldn't life be easier if everyone told the truth and nobody lied or said stupid things? I would say "kids!", but some adults are just as bad (if not worse...).

Good luck getting this resolved. Bullying is awful, but so is being accused of doing something bad when you haven't

Boo

 

[snookhams]

Thanks for all your input - I think that I will contact his year head and find out exactly what was said at the assembly and take it from there. Would you believe that this is actually a church school, and on the whole I am happy with the school although I did have a teacher a few months ago calling Daniel beanpole and lankey in a PE lesson, I phoned him and told him that I did not find this acceptable especially as he was calling all the other boys by there surnames!!!

 

[Chilly]

I would ring the school but get their side first as you are only getting the story third hand. Also perhaps rather than speaking to the girl in question Daniel could send her a note to say he apologises for anything he might of said to upset her but that he can't help his height either and now he is being bullied because of what she said.

 

[wils]

I think that I will contact his year head and find out exactly what was said at the assembly and take it from there.

Poor Daniel Your plan sounds like a good one. Thinking of you both

 

[pokemon_master]

So Sorry for Daniel.

I'd definitely go and talk to the head. Bullying isn't fun at all, and unfortunately kids can be really mean. Just today some kid was being really annoying to me when I hadn't done anything at all to him, not even saying Hello!

I hope things become better soon, as it is not nice to be bullied..

 

[Laurafoster]

I would definately say something! Its not fair for her to give the impression that your DS was bullying her!

Hope it all works out ok!

 

[Lisash]

That's awful. It is disgusting that a member of staff didn't step in during the assembly and stop her making such nasty comments about your son. He can't help being tall any more than she can being small. I would speak to the school if nothing else than to express my annoyance at them allowing her to make such comments in front of a whole assembly. I'm sure it will soon blow over these things always do

 

[Cyrano]

I am so sorry to hear that your DS is having a hard time. I know deep down I would be straight up the school trying to get it sorted out but I know that my DD's would be desperately telling me not to make a big fuss about it and to let it blow over

Sorry that I'm no help, but if I was you I would ask him what he would like you to do and then take it from there

Good luck

Mandy

I'd have similar dilemas

 

[momrek06]

I just read your post, OP, and my suggestion would be to call the school and arrange for the girl, her parents, you and your DH and Daniel to sit down with the HeadMaster and the two students can discuss this in front of all the adults.

I had a similiar incident when my now 20yo was in 6th grade (yearsssss ago) and this one boy was telling other students statements that MY DS was saying about HIM which DID NOT EVER HAPPEN (and BTW this was a private Catholic school as well)....

I finally called a "meeting of the minds". We had the meeting prior to the start of the school day. We allowed (the parents and prinicipal) the two boys to get it all out in the open. They did. They realized where both were wrong. They shook hands, the parents hugged. AND THAT WAS THAT and too THIS very day..my family is very friendly with the young man and his parents.

My DS owns his own business during the summer when he is not in college and this young man WORKS FOR MY SON!!!

I will say in reference to this incident this boy in question was KNOWN to say or talk about other students and make things up...so he had a bit of a reputation..so no one really believed him anyway...hence no one was throwing anything at my SON....it was just upsetting MY son that this was continuing in the school...this basic bullying by this one student to my son and we knew it had to STOP.

As far as this girl on the stage talking...why did the school even allow her to basically DEFAME your son UP ON THAT STAGE....