Should I Say Something To My Child's Teacher?

[PoppyAnna]

I've decided that I am going to say something to my daughter's teacher rather than my friend. I have a good relationship with the teacher, I had no problems at all with her when she taught my eldest daughter 2 years ago.

Saying something to my friend will not stop the comments being made but if the teacher is made aware that the things she is saying are reaching the playground then she should have the good sense to be more discreet in future. I know that teachers have to let off steam and get stressed but it shouldn't be getting back to the likes of me - they should keep their nasty comments and insults confined to the staff room.

This has obviously been playing on your mind, as it would mine. I think you're correct to make one of the parties aware that you feel these comments shouldn't get back to you (and possibly others).
Best wishes Joanne.

 

[Ware Bears]

I agree. I hope the teacher didn't use those exact words, and I won't defend her if she did, but you only heard this second hand. The real problem is that your school has a parent helper that likes to gossip and I think the head teacher ought to know - you can inform him/her of the content of the gossip at the same time if you like, but you personally don't directly have a complaint about the teacher.

I also wonder how much your friend has exaggerated the teacher's comments. I'm not saying it's OK for the teacher to call any children thick but your friend may have taken her comments totally out of context.

I was a parent helper for several years and the teachers I assisted often made comments about the children that were fine within the classroom walls but would have come across completely differently if I had repeated them to the other parents in the playground.

Anyhow, whatever you decide to do, good luck.

 

[hildasmuriel]

The teacher was silly to think she could speak to a parent helper so frankly, without her repeating it on the playground. She will probably be grateful when you let her know how indiscreet her helper is.

After school today one of our Year 1 teachers was flopped down across 2 chairs in the staff room, almost in tears. When I asked her what was wrong, she said "there're just horrible - they are all so horrible! I want my old class back. I don't think I can last the year out"
If one of the parents of her new class were to hear this, they would be terribly hurt and think she was horrible herself but I know this teacher, have worked a whole year with her, and I know that when next July comes she will be crying as she says goodbye to this class! She is a lovely caring young woman, and she was just letting off steam after she'd had a bad day.

Believe me, at this time of year most teachers seem to be missing their old class, that they had 'trained' to their ways, as they get used to the new lot whom always seem VERY VERY young.

 

[Joanne UK]

Thanks everyone. I had an informal chat with the teacher on Wednesday and feel much better for it.

I help with the reading and sight words on a Wednesday and at 11.30 they all go to music. I had finished by then anyway and the teacher was alone in the classroom.

We had a brief chat about how time-consuming it is doing the sight words and then I asked her how she was finding the class. She seemed completely natural as she told me that they were settling in ok, had a few boisterous boys that she was finding difficult (she'd had to break up 2 physical fights already this morning), there were more summer born children in the class so they were a bit more behind and that was it. No nastiness, no mention of anyone being "thick". I asked how my daughter had settled and she then waxed lyrical about her and her older sister who she'd taught a couple of years ago and still misses!

I decided to leave it there as I felt comfortable that she was being honest with me. In future when my friend repeats info or, as I now think is more likely the case exaggerates it I shall say nothing until she gets the message.

 

[natalielongstaff]

im glad you have resolved it Joanne xx

 

[mandymouse]

I'm pleased that you feel happier with the teacher now you have spoken to her

 

[PoppyAnna]

Good news Joanne
Perhaps the account you were getting wasn't totally accurate

 

[luke]

Hate to say it but they possibly are, teachers talk about students just like other people talk about co workers

Sorry to join this late, but this is true, sometimes we need to just vent, and although i personally wouldn't call a pupil of mine "thick", I couldn't honestly say i don't vent to staff in my department about some of them - we need to vent sometimes, it helps.

However saying it in earshot of any children is completely unprofessional, and not nice either!!

 

[Ware Bears]

Glad you're feeling happier now, Joanne.