Should I make my guests pay?

[U2_rocks]

Here's the scenario. I am having a birthday party for 2 of my kids at an aquarium. When I booked it a couple of months ago I was told that the party guests would not have to pay admission ($10) to the aquarium - they could go straight to the pagoda where the party was being held, and only those who actually wanted to tour the aquarium would pay. I was going to pay admission for all the kids anyway, and they could all go through as a group with just the few adults that wanted to go to. So I added this into the invitations so that parents would know that they wouldn't have to shell out a bunch of money for our party. At our parties all the adults tend to stay, they don't drop off, and the aquarium is a bit out of the way for most to drop of and come back anyway. So, I figured I'd get many adults, but most would stay under the pagoda, and those who wanted to would go on the tour.

Now yesterday I went to prepay the food and was told that they recently changed their policy re admission because they'd had some parties over the previous month where their policy was horribly abused! It's a fairly new aquarium, and they're still getting into their groove, figuring out what works for them etc. So now everyone must pay admission! I can't have everyone turning up expecting to walk in, and then they get charged at the door!

So since I don't want that to happen, I basically have 3 options:
1. call everyone and tell them the scoop so they'll come prepared
2. call everyone and tell them that 1 adult will be paid for and all the kids, but anyone else would have to pay (very often both parents come to our parties - we know most of the parents coming well enough that it's a chance to hang out and chat!)
3. just pay everyone's admission

I hate to have to do #1 (it seems so tacky), and #3 will get way too expensive, so #2 seems the best bet. But is this reasonable to ask? And, even paying for 1 adult per family isn't going to be cheap - there are about 9 families, and I'm already paying $7.50 each for about 15 kids! My bank account begs me to do #1, but my desire to be a good hostess cringes at the thought!

Any advice? As a guest, which would you prefer I do if you had been planning on your whole family coming (both adults)? Is $10 or $20 (depending) a big deal? The aquarium is small and if someone has seen it before they may not want to see it again, and might be unhappy to pay to get in just to attend a party! Having the party there was a great idea under the old policy - now it's not so great!

 

[HayGan]

Wow, that really stinks. I'm kind of surprised that they won't honor the arrangements that were in place when you booked the party.

That is a really tough call. I would probably pay for everyone but if you can't really swing it then I would call everyone and explain the situation. I'm sure most people will be very understanding (some may have a hard time with it though.)

 

[skiwee1]

First off how old are the kids? If they are under 6 then I would expect parents to stay with their children during the party including going on the aquarium tour.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Since you booked before the new policy change, I would speak to the manager and see if they would honor the policy that was in place at the time of booking. If not see if they can meet you half way on it.

 

[DawnCt1]

Its a childrens birthday party so you should pay for the children. If they parents chose to tour the aquarium they should pay for themselves. I couldn't imagine going to a child's birthday party (and I have been to many over the years) and expect the host to pay just because I chose to wait for my child.

 

[icebrat001]

I think you should really try to speak to someone else about the policy because you were told something else and now it has changed. If that doesn't work, I think option 3 is your best bet, I know it hurts your wallet in a bad way, but as you said, option one seems a little tacky, and number 2, may or may not offend some people.

 

[kpm76]

Yikes, that is terrible customer service to not honor the terms you agreed upon prior to them changing their policy. Honestly, if it were me, I'd probably be so mad I would cancel the party there and move it elsewhere, even if it meant it had to be at my house instead. I know that is probably not an option, so given your choices, I'd definitely not choose numer one.....these people are your guests and should not have to pay to attend a birthday party. The right thing to do is pay for everyone but if that is totally out of the question, then I think covering the cost of the child's admission and one adult is fine...good luck

 

[U2_rocks]

To tell you the truth I didn't push too hard for them to honor it. I understand their problem, and I feel bad for them that they had so many rude people who tried to get around the system. There really isn't any way I can convince them that we won't do the same! I thought everyone who paid got wristbands, because when I took my kids there and fell in love with the party area, we were given wristbands. What I didn't realize was that we'd gone on a special promotion day, and the wristbands were only gotten for that day - it isn't the normal way they control entry. Without the wristbands there's no way to know who has paid and who hasn't, and actually their previous policy was crazy without controlling entry to the aquarium itself - I don't know why they ever tried it! So given that knowledge, I don't feel right arguing that the old policy should be upheld (even though I know we won't abuse it).

On the other hand ..... typing this has made me think of something else. Yesterday while pre-paying, I ran into a cousin of mine who apparently has something important to do with the aquarium (I didnt ask, but seeing as his previous job was as an accountant at a store, he's probably their financial controller). I could call him and put forward my dilemm, and see what he suggests. As a more senior person who knows me, he might be more willing to work with me to come to an agreeable solution? I dunno ... it's tempting, but I hate to "use" people that way, KWIM?

 

[aprilgail2]

You should pay for every child since its your kids birthday party you cant charge kids to come to it! But as for the parents if they want to go in then they could be asked to pay for htemselves....at my daughters ice skating party I paid for all the kids admission, their skate rental and the party food etc...but if the parents wanted to skate with the kids they paid for their own skate rental.

 

[CajunDixie]

I'd call the aquarium again Monday and ask to speak to a manager. You made your reservation before the new system was in place they should honor your reservation as is. If they don't want the non-paying adults to go through the aquarium then keep the party area outside the aquarium area or place colored plastic bracelets on the non-paying adults showing they have not paid but are a party guest. If they still insist everyone pays they should at least offer you a discount for having a large group.

 

[U2_rocks]

The kids are mostly 6 and under, so that's a big reason why parents have always attended our parties. I imagine that will start to change over the next few years, though the parents we are friendly with will likely stay if they can because we parents have fun! The aquarium is small and easy to tour as a group - only small kids like maybe 3 and under would need a parent - the older crew could be supervised by just one or two willing parents.

 

[U2_rocks]

I'd call the aquarium again Monday and ask to speak to a manager. You made your reservation before the new system was in place they should honor your reservation as is. If they don't want the non-paying adults to go through the aquarium then keep the party area outside the aquarium area or place colored plastic bracelets on the non-paying adults showing they have not paid but are a party guest. If they still insist everyone pays they should at least offer you a discount for having a large group.

Plastic bracelets might be a good idea - I'd have to buy them I imagine, but they are cheap enough - better than $10/head!

 

[U2_rocks]

Yikes, that is terrible customer service to not honor the terms you agreed upon prior to them changing their policy. Honestly, if it were me, I'd probably be so mad I would cancel the party there and move it elsewhere, even if it meant it had to be at my house instead. I know that is probably not an option, so given your choices, I'd definitely not choose numer one.....these people are your guests and should not have to pay to attend a birthday party. The right thing to do is pay for everyone but if that is totally out of the question, then I think covering the cost of the child's admission and one adult is fine...good luck

You're right, I can't move it now

And you're right - the proper thing to do is to pay for my adult guests. With kids so young, many of them have no choice but to be there. I'd only feel happy charging people for things they choose to do.

I'm thinking I should call management and angle for a discount - I'd happily pay $5/head for the adults, or even the same $7.50 that I'm paying for the kids. I have a sneaky feeling that that cousin of mine who works there might be going off on holiday (based on things said), but I could talk to the manager. Wish me luck!

 

[skiwee1]

The kids are mostly 6 and under, so that's a big reason why parents have always attended our parties. I imagine that will start to change over the next few years, though the parents we are friendly with will likely stay if they can because we parents have fun! The aquarium is small and easy to tour as a group - only small kids like maybe 3 and under would need a parent - the older crew could be supervised by just one or two willing parents.

Since the kids are under 6 I would expect the parents to want to come along to help. I wouldn't have a problen paying for all the parents but nce you do have a problem with it then I would simply call the parents and be HONEST. There is nothing wrong with telling them the truth of how the aquarium changed the rules and that you really can't afford to pay for the adults too. I would tell them that you are calling them ahead of time to give them the option of not coming to the party or be prepared to pay their own way. If this happened to a party that DD was invited to then I would be most understanding! I would have no problem with paying for myself and I can't imagine anyone else either. Don't stress over such a minor detail! Call the parents and I'm sure you will feel much better!

 

[kpm76]

On the other hand ..... typing this has made me think of something else. Yesterday while pre-paying, I ran into a cousin of mine who apparently has something important to do with the aquarium (I didnt ask, but seeing as his previous job was as an accountant at a store, he's probably their financial controller). I could call him and put forward my dilemm, and see what he suggests. As a more senior person who knows me, he might be more willing to work with me to come to an agreeable solution? I dunno ... it's tempting, but I hate to "use" people that way, KWIM?

I say use your resources wisely and call your cousin....worse case scenario is that he says there is nothing he can do but you've lost nothing by asking....hope everything works out nicely for you

 

[Missy1961]

Since the kids are under 6 I would expect the parents to want to come along to help. I wouldn't have a problen paying for all the parents but nce you do have a problem with it then I would simply call the parents and be HONEST. There is nothing wrong with telling them the truth of how the aquarium changed the rules and that you really can't afford to pay for the adults too. I would tell them that you are calling them ahead of time to give them the option of not coming to the party or be prepared to pay their own way. If this happened to a party that DD was invited to then I would be most understanding! I would have no problem with paying for myself and I can't imagine anyone else either. Don't stress over such a minor detail! Call the parents and I'm sure you will feel much better!

I like this idea! It sounds like they are a great group--so I bet they wouldn't be insulted if you told them the truth. If I were one of the parents I wouldn't be hurt--I'd understand.

But I don't think it would hurt to try to get some kind of discount as well. You're bringing in a nice size group.

 

[Pop Daddy]

your post was to long for me to read, but I say you pay

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would always expect to pay for parents in a public place like that when dealing with young children. My son went to a party yesterday at a pool and I stayed, along with most of the parents. Some stayed in the entry area and did not put in a swimming suit. Any parent in the pool area had to wear a suit, which is what I did. The parents did not say anything about me paying and I would have been surprised if they had of (extra surprised, because these same parents invited their 3yo son to come to my son's 6th birthday the week before along with his invited 6yo brother--and then the dad left and went home without even asking me if that was ok ). I think if parents have parties in a very public place that they should expect to have parents come and should be prepared to pay for a parent. Doesn't mean that they should pay for both parents, though.

I would start with your cousin and see if they will honor the old policy and if not either pay for everyone or pay for one parent per child.

BTW, in the case of the pool party that we went to, if I had of brought any of my other children I would have paid for them. I just was not comfortable letting my 6yo go to a large pool where I know the supervision would not have been what he would need.

 

[HonestAbe]

Call the management and complain. Insist you had a verbal agreement. If they wont honor that then have the party at the Golden Arches. Young kids would probably be happier with Ronald McDonald then a bunch of guppies anyway.

 

[barkley]

if you booked it 2 months ago i assume you had to sign some type of contract and give some form of deposit (even chuck e cheese bookings on-line have a place where you click to indicate you have read and agree to the contractual provisions)-check the contract to see if they guaranteed a rate of admission or left it open to whatever the prevailing admission rate/policy is on the day of the party.

i would think (depending on how soon the party is) you would have some leverage given that if you cancel it is unlikely they could re-book and will end up losing anything beyond your non refundable deposit.