Should I let this go?

[McKelly]

Need some unbiased opinions.

I was able to get some Packers tickets and since I am not a fan of cold weather or football, I told my DH to pick three people to go with him. The tickets are $75.00 a piece and I was hoping to regain the cost from those going.

So, my DH tells me he is going to ask his sister and her friend. I said fine, tell them how much the tickets cost. He replies, No, this will be her early birthday present (two months early)- the two tickets. Okay..........

I just had a birthday - turned 40, do you want to know what I got for my birthday from my DH? - a Christmas night light. While I know it's the thought that counts, I am feeling a little angry right now that I am worth a $10.00 gift and his sister is worth so much more, two months prior to her birthday. I am steaming right now, and I REALLY want to lay into him when he gets home from work, but I am thinking I should let this go since it is the day before Christmas.......

Petty, right? I would also like to add that for my DH's 40th birthday, we went to WDW AND stayed at the Poly. And I got him the Richard Driving Experience.

Are men really this clueless or should I be worried where I am on the chain of importance in my DH's life!! Geez!!

 

[lovetoscrap]

I would at least wait and see what he got you for Christmas. Maybe he will be making up for the birthday gift

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

See, now if you told me to pick 3 people to go with I never would have thought to ask them for money. If you said "See if you can find 3 people that are willing to pay you $75/ticket." then that's a different story.

 

[linda0706]

Need some unbiased opinions.


Are men really this clueless or should I be worried where I am on the chain of importance in my DH's life!! Geez!!

I think men are really that clueless.

 

[Pakey]

I've been happily married for a long time; we have 3 grown sons now.

Yes, some men are that clueless. I think you have to look at the overall picture and not let these minor things become too important.

My husband would never ever think of buying me a thoughtful "item" but he treats me with respect, does more than his share at home, etc.

 

[FireDancer]

The cost of a gift has absolutely no correlation to how much someone loves or values someone else. If person A gets person B a $50 gift and gets person C a $100 gift it does not mean person C is twice as important to person A as person B.

This reminds me of the keeping score thread from earlier and I find both petty.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I think men are really that clueless.

Yep. Me too. They also aren't psychic. Tell your DH how you feel - CALMLY. He won't have a clue you are upset otherwise.

 

[ccgirl]

I would totally let it go. I'm sure he helps to provide for your family all year long. He probably only gives his sister things on holidays. I have come to realize that it is not so much that men are clueless. It is that they are not mind readers. I now buy my own birthday gifts. That way I get what I really want and I don't need a gift to know he loves me. Not saying you do....that's just a realization I have come to within these past few years. And, it's not like the trip to the Poly was just for him; right?

 

[Fly4free]

If you don't say anything to him how is he to know that you find this excessive? Just be careful how you aproach him. You may want to work with the price of the tickets are so high (especially for a friend of his sister) and it is so close to Christmas. We could really use that $ back in our account......

 

[lovemygoofy]

Need some unbiased opinions.

I was able to get some Packers tickets and since I am not a fan of cold weather or football, I told my DH to pick three people to go with him. The tickets are $75.00 a piece and I was hoping to regain the cost from those going.

So, my DH tells me he is going to ask his sister and her friend. I said fine, tell them how much the tickets cost. He replies, No, this will be her early birthday present (two months early)- the two tickets. Okay..........

I just had a birthday - turned 40, do you want to know what I got for my birthday from my DH? - a Christmas night light. While I know it's the thought that counts, I am feeling a little angry right now that I am worth a $10.00 gift and his sister is worth so much more, two months prior to her birthday. I am steaming right now, and I REALLY want to lay into him when he gets home from work, but I am thinking I should let this go since it is the day before Christmas.......

Petty, right? I would also like to add that for my DH's 40th birthday, we went to WDW AND stayed at the Poly. And I got him the Richard Driving Experience.

Are men really this clueless or should I be worried where I am on the chain of importance in my DH's life!! Geez!!

I think that there is a big miscommunication here. I wouldn't give my husband tickets to an event and encourage him to take his friends and then tell him that his friends have to pay for the tickets. If that was the case, 4 tickets shouldn't have been bought.

I don't think this is about your husband doing something really nice for his sister as he doesn't want to ask for the money, which is understandable.

I would have a conversation about it but it wouldn't be me being upset about the tickets for his sister. I do have a question about the WDW trip and the driving experience. Did you specifically plan and do all the details for this trip as a gift to your husband? Did you ask or explain that you expect something as well?

Bottom line is that you have two different lines of thinking going on and some hurt feelings that can cause this big storm.

 

[BunsenH]

Man's opinion.

Your DH sees the tickets as an easy and early way to fulfill the obligation of getting his sister a b-day gift. The $$ amount does not figure into the equation.

It was nice of you to buy the tickets knowing that you wouldn't want to go. Who were you expecting your DH to ask?

 

[kathie859]

If there's something that I particularly would like for a gift, I have to take DH to see it, write it down on a Xmas wish list, and still not be sure he'll get it right. Not that he's a dope--but I've learned over the years that he gift-giving challenged.

OTOH, he cleans the cat litter, takes out the garbage, tells me that I'm the best cook in the world, does his own laundry and is faithful. Oh, and if I buy myself something extravagant, he gives me no flack!

OP, RE: the ticket issue: Based on how you worded the offer, it would never occur to me to ask someone to pay. I thought the gift was giving your DH an experience with people of his choice. Which, btw, I think is a perfectly great gift.

I think in the interest of having peace on earth during Christmas, I'd let this go for now; however, in reviewing plans and goals for the New Year, I'd let DH know that this is an area for development. There's nothing wrong with calmly saying what you need and want from your DH and giving him an opportunity to help figure out what you both need to do so you're not disappointed next year.

 

[mamacatnv]

Their brains are totally different from ours.
I read once from a guy something along these lines:
Always assume that whatever it is I did that my intent was the least harmful of whatever it is you are thinking.

I also agree with the others that when you said find 3 people to take that it never occured to him to get them to pay for the tickets

As for the dollar amount of your present vs. his sister I'll bet that never entered his mind, the thought that he could take his sister to something she would enjoy with him is what entered his mind.
I'll also bet that the whole B-Day idea did not occur to him until you asked if she was paying for those tickets and he then felt awkward and thus came up with the b-day scenario rather than call his sister and say oh yeah by the way you owe me $150 for the tickets.

 

[foolishmortal]

you obviously have no clue how things work in correlation with sportng events. I go to sporting events on a more than regular basis and if my wife were to say take 3 others, that means TAKE 3 others. if she said I bought these tickets but dont feel like going to due weather or whatever reason, you should try to get rid of them.

I'm also glad my wife isnt so petty as to think my love for her is related to gifts i get for her compared to someone else.


Here in Denver weather in 2nd half of the season is always a factor, and my wifer knows more times than not im treating someone to a game not looking to recover money. the money I lost on tickets is made up by friends paying for parking, food, beer etc...

 

[tinkerbellandeyor]

I would totally let it go. I'm sure he helps to provide for your family all year long. He probably only gives his sister things on holidays. I have come to realize that it is not so much that men are clueless. It is that they are not mind readers. I now buy my own birthday gifts. That way I get what I really want and I don't need a gift to know he loves me. Not saying you do....that's just a realization I have come to within these past few years. And, it's not like the trip to the Poly was just for him; right?

My DFi never tells me what he wants so for his birthday and Christmas I give him a 25 dollar gift card

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I think men are really that clueless.

I also think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that he didn't have to put any effort or money into getting these tix. I doubt sis would be getting something like this if he had to think about it, go out, or put down the cash.

 

[crashbb]

I think that there is a big miscommunication here. I wouldn't give my husband tickets to an event and encourage him to take his friends and then tell him that his friends have to pay for the tickets. If that was the case, 4 tickets shouldn't have been bought.

I don't think this is about your husband doing something really nice for his sister as he doesn't want to ask for the money, which is understandable.

I would have a conversation about it but it wouldn't be me being upset about the tickets for his sister. I do have a question about the WDW trip and the driving experience. Did you specifically plan and do all the details for this trip as a gift to your husband? Did you ask or explain that you expect something as well?

Bottom line is that you have two different lines of thinking going on and some hurt feelings that can cause this big storm.

This was my thinking as well. I would't have expected the three other people to pay for the tickets (if I didn't want to use the tickets - I wouldn't have bought them!).

 

[lakelandgal70]

The cost of a gift has absolutely no correlation to how much someone loves or values someone else. If person A gets person B a $50 gift and gets person C a $100 gift it does not mean person C is twice as important to person A as person B.

This reminds me of the keeping score thread from earlier and I find both petty.

 

[SpecialK]

Yep. Me too. They also aren't psychic. Tell your DH how you feel - CALMLY. He won't have a clue you are upset otherwise.

I agree. If it hurts your feelings, you need to have a conversation, but don't lay into him. He'll never know how you feel if you don't tell him.

 

[Minnesota!]

See, now if you told me to pick 3 people to go with I never would have thought to ask them for money. If you said "See if you can find 3 people that are willing to pay you $75/ticket." then that's a different story.

Seems pretty petty on your account, I am afraid.