Should I let him quit?

[joshsmom]

Ok, long story short . . .

DS9 is in the Children's Choir at church. It began in January this year and he was SO excited about it. He still likes to sing but wants to quit choir. They practice one night a week for 1 hour. They sing at church one Sunday a month. He can't give me a good reason why he wants to quit--he said he's just tired of it. I say he made a commitment to be in choir and should follow that commitment through until the end of the school year. People at work think that I should tell him he needs to stay in just until Christmas is over. What would you do?

 

[Antonia]

I would not make him stay in it. He tried it - he doesn't like it. If it were you in a choir and your heart wasn't in it, would you keep going and going. I would just say this is not for me and politely bow out.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Yep, I agree, wait until Christmas is over, and then find something else for him to do.

Can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him, er, sing?

With my kids I look for natural break points when it comes to doing after school stuff. Like, just play tennis until christmas, and then we'll try something else. Sometimes those few weeks where they know they'll be done soon allows them to enjoy it more and want to keep up with it. Sometimes, well, they're just glad to be done.

Heh, I don't miss not having to take violin lessons-when I was in fourth grade I used to call it my 'skinning the cat music', because that's all I could produce from that dang thing.

 

[Barb D]

If he started last January, Christmas would be a year. That works for me.

Is there another activity he wants to try? Does he play an instrument? Now might be a good time to start one.

 

[PatsGirl]

Another vote for Christmas. It seems like a good place to break off -- feels like 1/2 the year is over. When my kids join a team sport that depends on their commitment they need to finish out regardless (but sports also usually last only four months or so I think). A year to a 9 year old is endless

 

[Tinijocaro]

Ok, long story short . . .

DS9 is in the Children's Choir at church. It began in January this year and he was SO excited about it. He still likes to sing but wants to quit choir. They practice one night a week for 1 hour. They sing at church one Sunday a month. He can't give me a good reason why he wants to quit--he said he's just tired of it. I say he made a commitment to be in choir and should follow that commitment through until the end of the school year. People at work think that I should tell him he needs to stay in just until Christmas is over. What would you do?

I was in your exact situation last year with my then 9 year old. I made him do the Christmas performance and then let him quit. Life's too short. Oh- dh and I are both musicians and music teachers. My son was one of three boys, surrounded by many,many girls. Is your son in the school chorus?

Jackie

 

[simba928]

I think you should let him quit. If they have a big show or something coming up, though, try and talk him into staying just until they are done with that show. I did karate for a few years and after the first few weeks, I hated it. I didn't want to go and I dreaded Mondays and Thursdays. I finally quit last year and I am so glad I did. One of the instructors said to me about a month after I quit, that after I get all this other stuff out of my system (color guard, school work, DECA, etc.), then he bets I will come back. Umm, no, don't think so. I love color guard and I even if I didn't, I would rather be in guard than in karate. The instructors were nice, but it got to the point where I would fake sick (headache, stomachace) just to get out of sparring.

 

[dismom9761]

I am in the same situation with my DS8.My answer is until after Christmas if they have already started on the Christmas program.That is our comprimise.

 

[miss_elphie]

I agree with the others. I think you should have him try for a little longer and then stop at a natural breaking point like Christmas. He's tried it for almost a year and that's probably enough. It may be that he'll want to try a new activity (like Barb D said) or he may even wait a while and try a different choir in a few years. Maybe once he's in middle school (or junior high) he'll want to join choir there. That's what I did. When I was in elementary school, I tried out my church choir as well. It just didn't work for me- the kids were rowdy and I couldn't seem to make friends. But after a few years, I decided to try a choir again and joined the one at school...I'm still in choir to this day. I'm not coming from a very experienced viewpoint, as I'm not a parent, but that's what I'd do.

 

[joshsmom]

Is your son in the school chorus?

Jackie

We don't have "school chorus" per se. All of the children participate in singing and perform a concert in the Winter and Spring. He has the school Christmas concert coming up in about 3 weeks. The Advent concert at church is in two weeks--this is the activity he wants to quit. You have no choice at school--you have to sing. DS is one of 3 boys in the church choir--one a few years older and one a few years younger. He came home tonight and was happy and said that he *might* want to quit.

I've given this a lot of thought and if he persists about wanting to quit after the Advent concert, I think I will let him. BUT, I'm not brining it up!!!!

Unfortunately he is not interested in playing an instrument, as someone suggested. He is in soccer, but that will not start until Spring. I think I'm going to wait him out--not push either way and if he is still intent on quitting, I would rather he quit than not enjoy it or be there just because he feels like I'm making him. That's not a good thing.

Thanks to all of you for giving me your thoughts. Another 6 months would be VERY long for an (almost) 10 year old.