Should I keep it a secret?

[3DisMunchkins]

I'm planning a trip to DL Aug 2-6. I had told my children we would not be going this summer with SWGE opening and also to save for a future trip. I picked up a couple of extra shifts and found cheap airline tickets so I broke down and decided to make a quick trip in Aug. I have twin daughters who are 14 and one has been discussing this possibility with me. The other has no idea. she is the biggest DL fan and I didn't want her to be disappointed if it didn't work out.
We'll be spending 2 weeks in Texas with family and then flying straight to DL and then returning to CO. DD1 wants me to keep it a secret and surprise DD2. She'll of course figure it out as soon as we check in for flights.
I'm torn. I think it would be cool to surprise her but I also know a lot of the fun is planning and anticipation.
Thoughts from the DIS???

 

[dieumeye]

Depends on personality. Even as a youngster I was really into the planning and anticipation of vacations, so would prefer to be told so I don't miss out on that aspect. But to this day, I am the type that is not a fan of surprises, and am known to say things like "I wish you had told me, that way I could have......" So, it depends on personality.

 

[avalon451]

Agree with dieumeye. However, you can still make it a surprise. You can plan a trip reveal for some occasion and maybe DD1 can help with that. Put together a bag or basket with tshirts, ears, (for each kiddo) treats, park maps (I bet Wonka Kid would send you some after SW:GE opening so they're current). You could do this a month in advance, still giving her time to anticipate and help plan.

 

[SOCALMouseMommy]

I feel like looking forward to it is half the fun so I vote to tell her.

 

[Hojoanaheim]

Another vote for telling her, and I agree with avalon451. Surprise her ahead of time with a cute reveal; that way she gets the excitement of counting down for the trip and you still get the joy of surprising her.

Kriss

 

[ashley0139]

Is she going to be hurt her sister knew and not her? That's what I would worry about. Otherwise I think it's fine to keep it a secret if she enjoys surprises.

 

[friedela]

Really depends on your own family and the personalities of your kids! Lots of people here will advise against doing a surprise but we are totally surprising our kids the morning we leave. I don't want to be nagged every single day about how much longer, and I really want them to have a good sleep the night before. The build-up of a trip is frustrating for my kids and they have told us that next time they want us to surprise them instead of having a countdown that feels as though it lasts forever, lol (and in my kids' world - even a few days is too long to wait!) So we are surprising them the morning we leave.

Go with your gut! You know your kids, no one on these boards does

 

[chickapin parterre]

Depends what stories that you want your adult children telling the nursing home staff when the twins come to visit you and reminisce about all the good times.....bringing up the one time you told them there was no Santa Claus,......I mean when there is no Disneyland visit.

One of my bitter memories about my mother was her failure to sit us down and tell us that fiances were hard ( father in serious accident) and that we were not going to Disneyland with the rest of the one room school in Joshua Tree in the 1960s. She instead told us that our failure as young children to clean our rooms and house had the consequences of not going to Disneyland. But I went to bed that night confident that my mom would wake us up in the early morning darkness for the two hour ride to Disneyland...after all...how can you take a yearly trip away because I didn't dust my book shelf two weeks ago. I remember that morning as clear as yesterday when I was 10 years old, 52 years ago. Though the disappointment was mis-handled by my mother, I took the disappointment became a better man and father

Times are difficult for the many folks working extra shifts, 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and sometimes that is not enough.....many children have gone on to great things because the goal of financial responsibility was not achieved and budget items are not fulfilled. Disappointment, if taught correctly by the parents can be a major building block of growth for future generations.

 

[WonkaKid]

I like the idea of the surprise. I love them — making and receiving — and once surprised my mom in London. She’d spent the summer there and I showed up unannounced. She loved it.

Let me know if you’d like me to mail you a few park maps. It might help to enhance the surprise when/if you hand them to your girls once you check in .

 

[GoingSince1990]

My personality type, now and as a child, is that I would take delicious anticipation over a surprise in a heartbeat. But I know that doesn't apply to everyone.

 

[3DisMunchkins]

Thank you all for your replies! I think you've confirmed my gut feeling that I should tell her and let her join in the anticipation fun! As much fun as it would be for me and DD1 to surprise her at the airport, I think that fun would be more for us and she'll enjoy the planning more.
Now to think of a fun way to surprise her with the news!!

 

[WonkaKid]

Now to think of a fun way to surprise her with the news!!

Park maps (again ;-)) are always a good way to pop the cork on the surprise. I'd be happy to send you some, if you like. Let me know .

 

[Grammy4Lizzy]

My DGD is not one for surprises. We woke her up one morning and said "We are going to Disneyland". She started crying and saying" I don't want to go". She loves DL.
This was the absolute worst trip we ever took. She was unhappy the whole time.
We have never surprised her with anything since then.

 

[3DisMunchkins]

Park maps (again ;-)) are always a good way to pop the cork on the surprise. I'd be happy to send you some, if you like. Let me know .

Thank you so much!! I'll message you after SWGE maps come out if that's ok. They know the current park like the back of their hand, but seeing the new maps would be cool! Every time we're there I point out your scores on BUZZ. They'll get a kick out of getting a map from the BUZZ king!

 

[ashley0139]

Depends what stories that you want your adult children telling the nursing home staff when the twins come to visit you and reminisce about all the good times.....bringing up the one time you told them there was no Santa Claus,......I mean when there is no Disneyland visit.

One of my bitter memories about my mother was her failure to sit us down and tell us that fiances were hard ( father in serious accident) and that we were not going to Disneyland with the rest of the one room school in Joshua Tree in the 1960s. She instead told us that our failure as young children to clean our rooms and house had the consequences of not going to Disneyland. But I went to bed that night confident that my mom would wake us up in the early morning darkness for the two hour ride to Disneyland...after all...how can you take a yearly trip away because I didn't dust my book shelf two weeks ago. I remember that morning as clear as yesterday when I was 10 years old, 52 years ago. Though the disappointment was mis-handled by my mother, I took the disappointment became a better man and father

Times are difficult for the many folks working extra shifts, 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and sometimes that is not enough.....many children have gone on to great things because the goal of financial responsibility was not achieved and budget items are not fulfilled. Disappointment, if taught correctly by the parents can be a major building block of growth for future generations.

What in the world does this have to do with the OP?

 

[whowouldanewman]

We knew we wouldn’t be able to keep our trip a surprise from our kids (3 and 6) but instead we told them that we were going a week later than we actually are. That way they can participate in the anticipation, but we will surprise them at the last moment that they are actually leaving sooner than they thought. And they won’t have to deal with that last week taking forever! We thought that would be a good way to allow them to get excited over time but also surprise them a little bit.

 

[Indiana Scott]

As a kid (1968), I remember thinking about our families upcoming trip and talking to my friends about it (they were so jealous). The anticipation was wonderful.
I know my son enjoys looking forward to our trips as well. He keeps a calendar and counts down the days. He talks about the rides he likes and watches video's with me.

The trend towards "surprising" kids at the last moment seems like it's for the amusement of the parents and makes for great Youtube video's but I don't think the kids get as much out of it as they would the anticipation.

Sorry if that offends some, it's not meant to be a put down to those parents that employ this method but that's just the way I see it.

 

[chickapin parterre]

What in the world does this have to do with the OP?

In the original post the OP wrote that trip was not going to happen and that money needed to be saved for future trip as the current trip is not budgeted but that she had to pick up extra works shifts, as many folks do work those extra shifts to have disposable income. She didn't pick up enough work, so she felt uncomfortable telling the one daughter that the trip may not happen, even though there was a possibility. The mother was taking responsibility for the feelings of disappointment in relationship to a very special family event.

my response is that she taking the right course of action of telling the daughter, telling her the financial truth of the trip and that disappointment might happen.

my mother did not do that, ( as an orphan she didn't have the skills) rather than sitting us siblings down and telling us that are world had been turned 360 degrees upside down and that there would be no more Disneyland, no more swimming pool fees, no camping trip....she bullied us into believing that our childhood foolishness of doing chores was the reason why would never return to any of those events.

Though I was not the only one in my classroom not going, there were three other students living in poverty and were not going.....I found it really disappointing and hard to separate that what I knew of Walt Disney was no longer viable to me....rather than my mother telling me, not this time, we will see what the futures brings.

I believe that I could have handled the disappointment with the truth than with a lie.

she also wrote that her daughter was the biggest fan in the family. I was the biggest Disneyland fan in my classroom, in the village. In my choice of souvenirs....of all the choices....I bought the wall size map....so I could take my 8 year-old finger tip and trace out the next trip...... the fun in the planning and anticipation....imagine everyone on this site only having a beautiful colored wall map to plan their next visit....much more personal and invested.

 

[azdisneylover]

What ever you decide, have a great trip!

 

[avalon451]

We knew we wouldn’t be able to keep our trip a surprise from our kids (3 and 6) but instead we told them that we were going a week later than we actually are. That way they can participate in the anticipation, but we will surprise them at the last moment that they are actually leaving sooner than they thought. And they won’t have to deal with that last week taking forever! We thought that would be a good way to allow them to get excited over time but also surprise them a little bit.

This is fun! It also solves the problem brought up by a previous poster-- if the kids know you're leaving in the morning, there will not be much sleep for anybody that night. I was thinking that would be an advantage to surprising them, especially small kids who can't help acting out when over tired. (I never sleep well, if at all, before trips, and my kids are the same).