Should I just get used to bickering?????

[tiff211]

I am 9 years old than my Dsis so I was more like a mommy figure from the start, still am. DD14 is 9 years older than DD5, every now and then they get into it but for the most part DD5 wants to hang onto DD14's every breath. Now DD5 and DD3 go at it .........constantly. My mom says get used to it, Dsis 25 and DD21 went at it all the time. They are really close but fight alot still. One thing I do to make everything fair is have them pick a # between 1-5, to pick who gets the baby's diaper, who gets out the tub first, who gets a kiss goodnight first, who turns the tv on, who turns it off, you name it, they fight about it!!!

Since DD turned 3, at the end of November, she has "come into herself" and lets DD5 have it. They argue about EVERYTHING. This is yesterday's events: They are in their room playing, I hear "you're a boy, no, you're a boy, NO, YOU ARE!! NO YOU ARE!! NO YOU!! NO YOU!! PEEPEE HEAD!! I call them since I am feeding the baby. I hear, Mommy called you, no, she called you, NO, YOU! NO, YOU!! I say, I called BOTH of you!!! Then I hear "you go first, you go first, NO, YOU! NO, YOU!!! So, I put the baby down and go in their room just as it's about to get physical. DD5 tells me DD3 called her a puduka head, DD3 says no, I didn't.....I called her a pudu-KI head. I tell her we don't call each other names in this house and tell them they need to have a timeout to cool off and stop fighting. I bring them in the room where I am feeding the baby, who is upset at her Dsis' for interrupting her meal and sit them at opposites sides of the room and set the timer. About 30 seconds into it, DD5 says "mommy, can we sit together, I miss my sister!" A moment in the life.....

 

[Sandy V.]

Oh yes, get used to it.

If they're like most siblings, they'll be best friends one minute, and bitter enemies the next. As my tag says, parenting is NOT for sissies!!

 

[PaulaSue]

You just posted about my 2 oldest.

I ended up making a special day for each, actually 2 a week and Sunday is my day. I helps on some things (which is first for hair, teeth, picking what to do) but not everything.

 

[experiment626mom]

Pudu-ka head!!! I can't wait to get home to call my dh that!!

On a serious note. Yep, this is your life until they both go to college.

 

[striker3636]

Oh, I hear ya! my ds6 and dd4 are always bugging each other or arguing. Yes, they are friends or enemies, depending on the moment. I hope someone out there has something that works! I am tired of coaching "how to be a good friend" etc etc!!! I know it is all part of being a parent, but I wish I could figure out the magic thing to do or say to declare a truce some days!

 

[WIcruizer]

Should I just get used to bickering?????

You can get used to as little or as much bickering as you want. You are the parent, and you are in control. Kids will fight, just as adults do. It's healthy. But we all have limits as far as what's acceptable. (Or we should.) It's up to you to decide what you will tolerate, and let your kids know. If they don't listen, there will be consequences.

 

[OhMari]

I have 4 kids, and I said, my youngest had so much stress as a baby-she used to cry from 4-7 p.m. every nite, just to relieve her stress from all the bickering-waking her up when she was sleeping-etc.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Did they bicker like this when DD14 was home or only after? Maybe they are just missing their older sister and this is their way of working out their feelings.

 

[CathrynRose]

Did they bicker like this when DD14 was home or only after? Maybe they are just missing their older sister and this is their way of working out their feelings.

 

[MamaLema]

My 3 boys bicker every moment they are together. We even place a big cardboard box between them at dinnertime so they won't look at each other.

Of course they claim to love each other though

 

[mickeyfan2]

I am so glad that you spend the entire day stalking me and showing your righteousness. Keep up the good work.

 

[CathrynRose]

I am so glad that you spend the entire day stalking me and showing your righteousness. Keep up the good work.

Please dont flatter yourself. There's only so many "new" threads which start, and Im reading posts just like you.

Carry on.

 

[tiff211]

Did they bicker like this when DD14 was home or only after? Maybe they are just missing their older sister and this is their way of working out their feelings.

No, it's been going on for about 3 months or so, it actually aggravates the heck out of DD14.

Since DD14 has always spent summers with her dad, they are used to her being away for long periods of time.

 

[laura001]

Calling "nanny 911"

 

[tiff211]

My 3 boys bicker every moment they are together. We even place a big cardboard box between them at dinnertime so they won't look at each other.

Of course they claim to love each other though

The "stop looking at me" fight. I know it well!!!

 

[tjmw2727]

No you don't have to, but it could take some time!!

My dd's are 2 years apart and they bicker but we have been working on it and it is much better now.

Try and observe when they bicker most and see if you can head it off. My dd's bicker if they are bored, tired or want my attention.

In your example I thought immediately they were trying to get your attention - and they did! Try and see if they bicker more when you are spending time with the baby. If so perhaps a few mintues with them setting up a game or craft before tending to baby will help. You won't have to do it forever just get them started for now.

Also try not to give them to much attention when they do bicker. Sometimes I don't even mention it, I ignore it and gett them interested in something else - together or separate depending on the situation.

Stay calm and keep trying new things until something works and they get out of the habit.

TJ

 

[RitaZ.]

We even place a big cardboard box between them at dinnertime so they won't look at each other.

OMG! That's the funniest thing I've heard of when it comes to ways to deter bickering!

 

[mickeyfan2]

The "stop looking at me" fight. I know it well!!!

And there also is the (s)he is touching me fight. I love that one.

 

[tiff211]

And there also is the (s)he is touching me fight. I love that one.

How about stop breathing my air??? Bill Cosby says that kids give you brain damage because DH came in to me saying "if you guys can't share the air, then no one is going to have any!!!" He walked out and came back in.