Should I invite entire preschool class to Bday?

[pirateofthecarolinas]

April 2 is a great day to have a birthday! I should know!

About inviting everyone to the party, only do that if you are prepared for everyone to show up. At my son's 6th birthday party every person he invited came. I had 23 G.I. Joes running around! It's amazing how many people don't RSVP but still bring their children.

Lori

 

[mrsv98]

DD's bday is in April and we will invite the whole class but not to our house! We will probably use My Gym again because they were wonderful and the kids had a blast last year.

I totally understand about the gifts, DD is the youngest cousin and is spoiled rotten by her family. We have a family party and a friends party and last year, when DD turned 3, I tried the no gift thing and people just ignored me and brought gifts anyway. Dd was so overwhelmed by everything, I was able to keep some things back and give them to her later or just give them to charity. This year, I won't say no gifts but I think I will try and involve her in giving away one or two items to children who don't have any toys. Children are never too young to learn charity!

 

[Kimberle]

(Personally I think those huge parties with gifts from every child seem just plain greedy!)

Wow! You think I'm "greedy"?

I invite the whole class plus a few friends because I don't want any children to feel "left out".

This year, 26 children are invited. (I expect abt 15 to come.) If they all come this party will cost me almost $700.

 

[Pop Daddy]

when my daughter was that age she was left out of a couple partys, it broke her heart, and it killed me seeing her feel that way.

 

[Oh Kay!]

My two boys were born two years apart but on the same day. For their last birthday party, we invited DS3's whole preschool classs and DS5's whole kindergarten class. Between the two of them I sent out 30 invitations and 18 came. DS3's preschool also has the "whole class must be invited" policy, and since I had to invite DS3's whole class I couldn't possibly not invite DS5's whole class.

Regarding the gifts, I let the boys open about 1/3 of the loot. The rests gets hidden in the closet. I dole them out through out the year and sometime donate them to the pre-school for fundraising events.

As others have suggested, make sure you have some other adults around to help out. We did ours at a place that supplies counselors(?). 20 children running on sugar is not a pretty sight!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

If you invite the whole class be prepared for all of them to come! When DS was little we had a big party 3 years in a row where we invited the whole class. Each was at a different place and the kids had a great time. After the 3rd year I sat down with Ds and we talked about the money it costs to have these parties. The next year and every year since he has chosen to take a trip with the money instead of the party. I LOVE it!!!! It is sooo much easier for Mama! Don't worry he has lots of sleep overs and other social stuff. And this year spent his B-day at MGM!

Thinking about the no gifts idea, is it possible to have all the guest go together on a membership for the family? Like a Zoo membership or something. I don't know maybe that would be too much like asking for money, it depends on how well you know the other parents.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I had another idea. If everyone attending is from school, maybe you could ask for gifts for the preschool classrooms. That way all the kids could enjoy the toys and the twins would still have gifts to open. You could even say that if you need ideas of what the class needs, you can talk to _____. Just another thought.

 

[goofiesgirlies]

Last year I had the same problem with my DD who turned 5. We invited the entire preschool class which was about 18 kids. I think 14 showed up.

Have you thought about having the party at McDonald's? That is where we had DD's last year. Trust me there is nothing better to the preschool age group than McDonald's! The kids had a blast. They played in the playland area for about an hour. Had lunch, cake and ice cream, a game and a treat bag all provided by McDonald's in the cost! It was inexpensive and no mess in your house. They have a party coordinator who takes care of most of it so you are only there to help with the kids-- not plan the activities.

I'd also recommend getting a couple helpers. You need it just to 'coral' the kids no matter where you go. You'll be surprised at how many parents even at the pre-school age just 'drop off' the kids! (Something I could never do!)

Relax and enjoy - hard for Mom's isn't it? As for the gifts - the less said the better. A lot of gifts are really small items and not a big deal. I'd do what others have suggested and when people ask what they want suggest a shared activity item like a game, books, art supplies, etc.

 

[Wonderlandmom]

We have done several different things. One year we invited the entire preschool class(4th b'day) plus several others and ALL but 1 showed up ! Another year(5th) we had a Teaparty type b'day and invited all the GIRLS from preschool (and this was allowed in class as long as it was ALL the girls) plus a couple more and all but 1 again showed up. Full house! Since then she has had small girl themed events and we send the invitations by mail and she is taught NOT to speak of it at school as usually only about 3 friends from school are invited. Usually all show up as they know they are the select few.
I have had a friend invite her child's entire class and all show up, some bring their siblings and they stay too(and expect goody bags and cake) !
We went to a party when DS was about 4 and they had a large container with a sign about putting gifts in it and to enjoy the party(SO many kids that opening is time consuming). It said the b'day girl would open the gifts later. And she did and we got a nice thank you note. You could tell your kids that some of the gifts could go to a children's home or something and no one would have to know.

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by Kimberle
Wow! You think I'm "greedy"?

I invite the whole class plus a few friends because I don't want any children to feel "left out".

This year, 26 children are invited. (I expect abt 15 to come.) If they all come this party will cost me almost $700.

I was not singling anyone out just giving my opinion. I figure the internet is a way to get this kind of anonymous feedback, so I'm going to be honest.

 

[BrerMom]

This idea might work for you, too:

When DS was in afternoon kindergarten, we had the party in the morning. Yes, all the kids were invited and they went straight from the party to kindergarten. I warned the kingergarten teacher; she appreciated the "heads up." I didn't want anyone to feel left out either, especially since they were going straight to school. I wrote on the invitations that if anybody needed transportation or needed to drop their kid off at my house on their way to work, they could. Nobody took me up on it and every single kid came. Here's the best part: it wasn't just a birthday party, it was really a field trip. I just called Peter Piper Pizza and asked if they were available for field trips. They were! We were asked to come in before they opened. We got a great "backstage tour" of the facilities. I was impressed; the tour was much longer and involved than I had expected. At the end, each kid made a personal sized pizza to eat for lunch. They were also given two tokens as part of the field trip and I purchased four more tokens for each kid. DS still talks about it. The tour was pure field trip. The employees knew it was his birthday, but the only special treatment he got was getting to be first in line. When everybody had their pizza, we sang "Happy Birthday" and blew out the candles on the cake. One very nice benefit to doing it this way was that our kids were the only ones in the restaurant. It was very easy to monitor them and the door was locked until they sat down to start eating. Perfect!


As far as no gifts, I completely understand. We had one of DD's parties at the Children's Museum. Each kid came with a wrapped book labeled for girl, boy, or either instead of a present for DD. When it was time for presents to be opened, the presents were distributed according to the labels. So each kid got to take home a book and this also served as their party favor instead of bag of junk.

It worked very well for all but a couple of the kids. I had some extra "either" books to trade in case somebody got a book they truly didn't like. Except for the 10-year-old boy who kept sobbing, "I don't want a book! I want a toy!"
, it went pretty well. If I were to do it over again, I think I would schedule time for them to trade with each other after the books were opened and maybe open the presents one at a time.

You could modify the idea to be toys instead. I asked for books $5 or under. Some of the books looked like they were more than $5, but at least the parents knew that wasn't expected. As long as all the kids are receiving the same type of thing, it would probably work.

 

[tw1nsmom]

There have been so many great ideas! Thank you.

I guess I have a lot more to think about. I talked to both their preschool teachers today about inviting everyone, and they thought I'd lost my mind. Apparently I've underestimated the number of children in my daughters class. On M/W/F there are 20 children and on T/Th there are 13 different children. Add the 8 children in my son's class, and that comes to 41 four year olds! Also, the 8 from my sons class have varying degrees of special needs. His teacher felt that several of them would be too overwhelmed at a big party.

Katie's teacher suggested that if I felt the need to invite everyone (it's not required) I could invite just the girls. Then if I invited the boys in Spencer's class it would bring the numbers down considerably.

What they really recommended was to ask the children to pick two guests each and ask them a few times over the course of a week what their choices are. (Spencer hasn't really bonded with any of the children but will randomly call a child his "best friend.")

If I do end up inviting a lot of children I like the ideas of either requesting supplies for their classrooms or the book/toy exchange idea. Oh, and don't worry I would bring lots of reinforcements. If neccessary I would hire the older teenage cousins to help out.

Birthdays are a really big deal to me. My husband never had a party growing up (sometimes not even a family dinner) so he's eager to give the children special memories. I always had big parties growing up, but my birthday is in the summer. Mom would keep us all outside playing "field day" games, feeding us hot dogs or pizza and cake and ice cream. The number of kids doesn't really matter for those types of parties.

My kids have had a really trying year with all the testing/therapy/ adjustments they've been through. I really want to give them a special day, but I may be going a little overboard. Oh well, I guess I have more thinking to do.

Thanks again for all the wonderful advice.

Dawn

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I love the field trip idea!!! That would work next year for DD in Pre-K! They will be at school in the AM but I could pick them up and take them for the afternoon. The book exchange is a fun idea too. Thanks for sharing.

TW1smom Have you considered 2 seperate parties? Maybe take the girls and your DD on one day and the kids in Ds class the next or something? My God children are twins and their mom always thought it was important for them to each have a day that was just theirs, they shared the family party. Your babies are lucky to have a mom and dad who want to make their birthady so special. I am sure whatever you do it will be fun!

 

[Stimpy]

Good Luck with the party!!!

I'm really curious as to how the people who said no gifts or donations or the book/toy swap let their guests know about this? I really like all those ideas and would like to try it next year. I wanted to do a animal themed party and have the kids bring donations (food, towels etc) for an animal organization I volunteer for or our local shelter. (DS is a little "Stanley" )

Did you put it on the invites? How was it written? I don't want people to get insulted or to think I am telling them what they "have" to do. TIA

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by Wonderlandmom
Another year(5th) we had a Teaparty type b'day and invited all the GIRLS from preschool (and this was allowed in class as long as it was ALL the girls)

I was surprised that it took all the way to the bottom of page 2 for someone to say this...that's the way it's always been in my kids' schools...you invite the whole class, or all one gender, and you can pass the invitations out in school. Just sent DS into school with his today. We invited all the boys in his class...8 of them (4 he didn't want to invite...one in particularly (for good reason )...but for various reasons, we decided it was best to invite them all). He's also inviting a few boys in other classes, and I mailed those invitations out.

He's in 5th grade. Next year, at the middle school, it will be MUCH easier to choose who to invite.

 

[Sleepy]

I have not read the entire thread, so I do not know if someone else has mentioned this or not. I know these days parents worry about the safety of their children when in the care of others. Some kids come from poorer families who may not have the money for a gift, so the kids don't come for that reason also. Is there any reason that would keep you from having the party at school? Up until 5th grade, I always took cupcakes (had to be premade in store packaging according to my school rules) to the school the morning of the b-day and when time was appropriate (snack time or lunch...whichever according to age group) , the teacher would pass out the cupcakes and they sing happy b-day. That way everyone would be included. Worked for me. Then, for that special friend, your child could get home phone # and invite them to something more special like a movie or going to pizza place, etc. Good luck. Sad that times are not as they were when we were little.