Should I force my kids to go to Disney?

[greeneyedchick]

No. Why would you pay all that money for a trip where people don't want to be there? I have 3 kids. I have learned that it's better to do separate trips than to make everyone go on the same trip when not everyone is interested. It only leads to a kid or two complaining and ruining the time for the rest of us.

My parents left me home when I was 16 to go to Europe. I fed the dog and went to school. I didn't have any wild parties. It's ok to leave them home and take them on a different trip that interests them more. If you don't want to leave them, I would try to find a trip that everyone can agree on. We used to be big Disney fans but now my kids want nothing to do with the park. Too hot and crowded. Disney has changed. The magic isn't there for us.

 

[jdb in AZ]

OP, give it a few years and you'll have grand kids to start the cycle all over again. Last fall we went to WDW with our DD and her kids -- it was like discovering the parks all over again, through their eyes. They went at their pace, and we went at ours, tho we met up most of the time, and one night we babysat so DD and her DH had some alone time for a nice dinner at WDW. As the Lion King would call it, "The Circle of Life."

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Perhaps, you are underestimating forum members.

I think, people who have replied here understand the OP's love and nostalgia for Disney, but also understand that it's not the same for everyone who goes/has been and that, regardless, Disney is not the be-all-and-end-all for anyone anywhere!

An understanding of someone's liking for Disney is common on here (for some reason! LOL), just like if it was a snow sports forum many would be sympathetic and would understand a poster might be sad that their kids might not want to go skiing/snowboarding with them. Still, that doesn't mean a broader view is more difficult for people, concurrently.

We might be fluent in Disney, but we speak other languages, too, and I think that is evident on here.

I'm speaking about the Board it it entirety. I quoted a comment that was in response towards a PP's comment about it being "you're asking advice from people on a Disney forum"

We all know the CB, which is where the OP asked their question on, would net them more varied responses (don't ask this question on the Theme Parks and Attractions Board as it's not going to get you that) but asking on a Disney-centric Board is going to almost guarantee comments regarding "just give it time they'll come around", etc. We posters came here because we love Disney, it may be hard, as a general comment, for that love not to be shared by others especially if its one's own family. IMO even suggesting that they might like Disney eventually or come to appreciate it is a prime example of how this Board is. You couldn't get my parents to actually love Disney the way I do but I wouldn't think they need to or presume that eventually they would. It's my thing not theirs, totally okay!

 

[mom2rtk]

The OP didn't quite give all the details but at least we know this person is still living at home. I picture an 18 y.o. in their last year of high school, being completely protected and provided for, as they always have. Legal authority is one thing but that scenario, at least at our house, wouldn't (and didn't) necessitate a complete revision of the rules and expectations.

My kids tried the "I'm 18 now and get to do what I want" thing. But I quickly explained that them turning 18 just meant that we would no longer get in trouble if we chose not to keep providing everything for them.

 

[Tink-osophy]

Deleted, since I can't find the sentence that first struck me!!

Agree to differ. On some elements, at least.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That last part is where we differ!

Differ where? On a practical level it makes sense that a Disney focused board would have more people push Disney so I think that poster was just speaking the realities. But IRL there's a lot of people who just don't care about Disney certainly not the way we do. My husband and I are the only people in both sides of our family with extended family and step-siblings and all who even go to Disney. They would not say things like "just give it time your kids will probably come around to like Disney again, want to go back to Disney again with you, etc etc" Because their level of interest in Disney in no way matches ours. That's what I was speaking to, that if you get outside of people who enjoy Disney enough to go back to it you're going to be less likely to even hear people suggest a default assumption that someone will eventually come to enjoy Disney again. That's putting our likes of a destination intermixed into the conversation.

 

[Tink-osophy]

Differ where? ...

Please read my post above. The sentence I referred to either disappeared, or I imagined it!!!!!!

Anyway, as I said, agree to differ since my point was simply that people on here are capable of a broader mindset and can think two things at once.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Please read my post above. The sentence I referred to either disappeared, or I imagined it!!!!!!

No worries

 

[Smugpugmug]

Is swearing off of Disney forever a bad thing? I have and it's really opened up a lot of options to see and do other things.

To the OP, Disney doesn't stay the same for everyone forever. Remember, you're asking advice from people on a Disney forum And with some exceptions participants will all pretty much agree with you.

Tbh I don't think I've seen a single person so far say "Your kids should suck it up and go with you to WDW anyway."

 

[ronandannette]

Tbh I don't think I've seen a single person so far say "Your kids should suck it up and go with you to WDW anyway."

Just to play Devil's advocate, there are a few circumstances where I think family members should do things just for the sake of the others, but Disney has nothing to do with it. In the context of a vacation, if this was, say, the dying wish of one of them or a destination wedding, or something else very impactful, then yes - I'd say they should be made to go. This isn't any of those things though and yes, there has been enough objectivity in the responses that nobody has said otherwise.

 

[bluezy]

Sometimes things are as they appear, other times there are lots of things going on the parents are clueless about.
A bit of supervision with a new "adult" is not necessarily a bad thing.

Exactly!! I think a lot of parents would be amazed at how efficiently an 18 yo can pull off a party/gathering while parents are away and leave no trace of said party. Teenagers will do a walk through video of the entire house as soon as their parents leave so they (the kid) can return the entire house to that state before their parents get back home. Any one remember the movie "Risky Business"?????

 

[CGB]

Fast forward 15 years and our youngest is now 19 and we *thought* it would just be 2 (or 3) of us going to Disney at this point. Ha!! Every time DH & I say we're going on a Disney trip, somehow *all* the kids (and now their spouses/SOs and *their* kids) go too!!!

I jokingly told our kids to not worry about us when their future "other" families wanted them to go to their homes at Thanksgiving or Christmas. "Dad and I will be at Disneyworld!" Their faces fell and immediately whined..."But we want to go to Disneyworld too!" I suspect our future experiences will be similiar to your family!

 

[Skippy918]

You’ve been every year to Disney. They are probably at the age where it’s been there done that and they want to do something else. The novelty likely wore off for them. I’d ask them where they want to go or have a family discussion with all the kids and say, here’s our budget, let’s come up with ideas.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Yes, I think the teens should have choices in relation to the trip, certainly. I just don't think that an 18 year-old living under her parents' roof gets the same level of independence as an adult with a self-supporting job and her own home. My (disabled) son is 19 and living at home, and while I take his opinions about many things into consideration and would never force him to go on a trip, he still does have rules and requirements that he has to abide by, because he is still far from ready to be independent, he is still learning and maturing, like most teenage legal-adults are.

Even if he had no disability, I would not let a young adult living under my roof play video games all day and not be either at school or work, to give one example. Some parents do that, basically let their young adult children live with no expectations or requirements for free in their homes. and it is not good for those "adults". It doesn't lead to eventual maturity and independence. For responsible parents, before we declare our children to be full adults who no longer need to mind their parents, we need to look at their level of functioning in the real world.

When I was 18 I was in university full time plus working 25 hours or more at a part time job.

I had good friends and a boyfriend.

My point to the OP at that age the adult may want to use their often limited vacation time with others and not parents. Nothing wrong with that.

Huge leap from that to “kid not able to function independently!” and “let kid play video games all day!”

 

[🍀TwinsMom]

I saw OP is letting the two kids stay home, which I think is for the best. I just wanted to relay a cute DVC moment with my son who is pretty much over WDW but is too young to stay home. We went the week of July 4th, 2023, during that record heat wave. It was brutal. I couldn't handle going to the parks, and my son wanted to stay in the room. We drew the shades and binged "Wednesday" all day in bed, ordered QS from Primo Piatto, napped, and just had a great time together chatting about the show.

Out of the entire week at WDW, THAT'S the memory I have from the trip that's strongest -- spending quiet time together in AC. You'll get to enjoy family trips again with them, and maybe it'll be at WDW, but you just need a break.

I will say, definitely skip being together 24/7 and let them do the parks on their timetable. We don't rope drop anything anymore (love our DVC!) and enjoy the resorts a ton. Maybe Aulani/Vero/Hilton Head to mix it up?

 

[barkley]

Exactly!! I think a lot of parents would be amazed at how efficiently an 18 yo can pull off a party/gathering while parents are away and leave no trace of said party. Teenagers will do a walk through video of the entire house as soon as their parents leave so they (the kid) can return the entire house to that state before their parents get back home. Any one remember the movie "Risky Business"?????

the decline in landline phones has helped facilitate being detected after the fact GREATLY. i knew of/attended many a multi day party at a home where the parents had left their 18+ 'very responsible kid' home while they vacationed. many went undetected for weeks.............until the landline bill arrived and the parents discovered the hundreds into thousands of dollars in long distance and 800 porn calls the party guests made without the hosts knowledge i recall one where the parents did'nt catch on until a month or so later when the mom discovered some pot plants sprouting out of her potted house plants where people had stubbed out their joints then mom started playing detective and finaly caught sight of the footprint on the ceiling of one of the rooms.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

The 18 year old is an adult and also could be considered the adult of the 16 year old. There is no need to have a babysitter for an adult child.

Only their (The kids) parents know (and possibly not) if they are responsible.
My point: what if one wants to go to a friend's house. Also, I know a few 16 yr olds that have more common sense than their older siblings!
**During a snowstorm once, my daughter's BF's mom called to see if her daughter made it to my house ok! What a call that was: "Sorry xxx, but yyy isn't here, nor has my kid said anything about her coming over." My daughter got grounded for being part of the sheningans.! Only one of a very few times she ever got grounded.

 

[Karin1984]

They are very headstrong and argumentative, especially when they’re not getting what they want. Maybe it’s just being a teenager, I don’t know but that is one issue I had, not wanting to give into their demands. But in this case I guess it makes sense to. My 16 year old wants to be a lawyer because she loves to argue so much lol. But in this situation I’ll give in.

Do they get this from you? If you have been dragging them from park open to close, staying always together, because that is what you want and you do not want the teenager to get their way... I might see some similarities.

For your own sake and of the other three children, have a good think how you want to approach Disney trips with these three for the coming years. It might happen they see their siblings staying home and in the future they might want to follow their example.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Just to play Devil's advocate, there are a few circumstances where I think family members should do things just for the sake of the others, but Disney has nothing to do with it. In the context of a vacation, if this was, say, the dying wish of one of them or a destination wedding, or something else very impactful, then yes - I'd say they should be made to go. This isn't any of those things though and yes, there has been enough objectivity in the responses that nobody has said otherwise.

Agreed. As a college student at home I made sure to travel out of province to see grandparents, cousin’s weddings, that sort of thing.

Going to Disney is not the same thing.

 

[Brian Noble]

The thing is, we’ve gone to WDW every year of their lives and they’ve always loved it, not sure what’s happened lately. [...] It really upsets me that they don’t want to go.

This seems like the biggest part of it.

Part of a kid's job as a mid-to-late teenager is to begin to assert independence from their parents. That often means doing things that the parents do not understand, and sometimes doing things just out of spite. But, it is also reasonable for a mid-to-late teen to "grow out" of Disney--one of my two did that, and hasn't really recovered the idea. And, to be fair, I did too, for a good ten or fifteen years until I had kids of my own.

The "go your own way" idea is a good one--WDW is one of the easiest places for teens to be independent yet in a safe environment. But, it might also be time to start vacationing somewhere else. Kid #1 would go to a Disney resort at the drop of a hat, as it is their happy place. Kid #2 would much rather surf or hike. I plan periodic trips for each of them according to their preferences, and the other is invited along.