should I feel this way

[GailT]

my old boyfriend came over yesterday out of the clear blue. we sat had a drink and talked. Holy toledo, he told me he now lives in the basement of his EX wifes house, he said he rather pay her rent knowing that when his daughter turns 18 in 9 months he will sell it and get his money back. I realize it is hard paying child support and renting a place of your own but when he said to me they get intimate a few times a month for the need of that I almost died. Am I being unreasonable not to date him because of his situation?

 

[Barb D]

Ack! Why would someone even CONSIDER seeing a guy like that? Being alone would be better than that!

You are being perfectly reasonable. It's a good thing you have better sense than his ex-wife!

 

[Daxx]

This guy sleeps w/his ex wife "for the need of it"? And you are wondering if it's ok to not date him? I think you know that the answer is to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction of this guy.

Sorry, but any guy who is sleeping w/someone else can stay w/that someone else. If he has "needs", he can manage to satisfy himself w/his own hand or find someone other than his ex wife to be with.

Go find yourself a man who is true to you! He's an "old boyfriend" for a reason ... make sure he remains an old boyfriend. I don't think I'd even go out w/him (after knowing this stuff) if he lived in his own place and didn't see his ex wife.

~Daxx's Wife

 

[poohandwendy]

Am I being unreasonable not to date him because of his situation?

I think you were crazy if you didn't run as fast as you can away from him...to be honest.

 

[kaylajr]

I think you were crazy if you didn't run as fast as you can away from him...to be honest.

I agree

RUN !!!!!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

He's an "old boyfriend" for a reason ... make sure he remains an old boyfriend.

I would imagine that if you reread your original post, you will understand why he is an old boyfriend.

Print it out and stick it on your refrigerator. When you are feeling "weak", take a look at it. Take a look at a "man" who won't get his own place so he can be near a woman who can satisfy his needs (and probably her own) when the need arises.(insert "yuck!" smiley here!!!!)

And then pat yourself on the back that you are not as pathetic as her.

 

[Pop Daddy]

did you 'date" him last night

 

[wdwmom2]

Holy toledo, he told me he now lives in the basement of his EX wifes house, he said he rather pay her rent knowing that when his daughter turns 18 in 9 months he will sell it and get his money back.

If it is his ex's house, how is going to sell it to get his money back??? And the sleeping together part because of his need, run, don't walk!!!!!!

 

[Keli]

Come on, the guy's got a capital L on his forehead! No way, no how would I even consider dating him even after he moves out of his Ex's house and stops sleeping with her (if he ever does).

 

[Mimi Q]

Run!!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

.....Am I being unreasonable not to date him because of his situation?

Unreasaonable? Hardly. The guy is a slimeball, a loser.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Am I being unreasonable not to date him because of his situation?

No you are using the gifts that have been given to you.
Your eyes and ears have assessed the situation. Now your brain is screaming to you...."if you go with him, you will break your heart that is EVEN considering it".

What is the saying? Putting clothes on a pig doesn't make him different? Something like that....run like hell.

edited for spelling....

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I would never a million years date a guy who still had a lot of contact with an ex GF or wife. No way. Been burned too many times.

Virtually every man I have dated who was "still good friends" with an ex, wound up cheating on me and eventually leaving me for her.

Every single one of them.

Not a chance. I mean, I'd want him to be respectful to his ex, and nice to her if they bump into each other, and I don't mind if they keep in touch and talk occasionally, but that's quite enough. If they are still best buddies, seeing each other constantly no way.

 

[Goofymum]

Wow! Do we have the same ex-boyfriend? LOL

I am currently in a similar situation. My ex-boyfriend and I have a lot of history that goes back a loong time ago. I broke up with him but wont get into why - honestly had nothing to do with him.

When I was ready to date again although he wanted to he was apprehensive because I had broken his heart before so we were just friends. We lost contact and both ended up getting married (to other people). I got divorced a long time ago and I just found out that he was divorced so I contacted him again to catch up on old times and see if after all this time since we still have feelings for each other if anything could come of it.

Well! Since his divorce he has turned into a man ho! He lives in this polyamorous? family now he says...which consists of like 3 or 4 guys and one girl... Apparantly they all "love" the girl and take advantage of it whenever they want lol. He tells me that he can leave this family if he found the right woman to marry but she would have to understand that he can still "love" the other girl anytime he sees fit lol.

Now! I still talk to him online as a friend BUT I could never trust him as a boyfriend. I want to be the only woman (romantically) in his life and that is completely reasonable.

I know from experience how those old flames can hold a special place in your heart but that is not an excuse to get yourself into a bad situation. There is definitely no good that could come out of a situation such as yours ...or mine for that matter!

 

[Microcell]

Well, at least he was honest. You have to be thinking he is kind of dumb to be trying to date you and volunteering so much.

Thank him for his honesty and find a decent guy!

 

[rayelias]

Am I being unreasonable not to date him because of his situation?

I think ripping off his manhood would not be unreasonable.

Run.

Don't even think about it.

There is NO good that can come out of this situation for you.

 

[miste76]

I agree with the rest of the posts... I think you should walk away from the situation now!!! However, I also know that none of us really know you or your male friend and we certainly do not know the entire situation. Only you can make the right decision for you and him!!!

 

[lulugirl]

Run for the hills.....fast.

 

[diznygirl]

Oh, I like the easy questions!

No, you are not being unreasonable.

Next!

 

[poohandwendy]

Just wanted to point something that should seem obvious...but I'll say it anyway.

Would you date ANYONE who told you they currently have a sexual relationship with someone else? Cause that is what he told you. The circumstances (also known as excuses) are irrelevant.

He told you basically that he is living with and sleeping with a woman that he loved enough to marry...that is what we call a relationship, no matter how screwed up it is.

This should be a no brainer. If you even consider it, you are allowing very lame excuses to cloud the better part of your brain, the part that protects you from making very, very bad decisions.