Should I feel guilty about this?

[castleview]

Hi,

My son will be a year old on Saturday. He has two older sisters and every year I've made their birthdaycakes. I use the Wilton character pans which can be detailed. However, this time of year I'm so busy that I may actually buy him a cake. It's just that this party is sneaking up on me and I can't see myself pulling off the cooking, the cleaning, and doing an elaborate cake. So part of me is saying "nothing wrong with a store bought or bakery bought cake) while the other part is saying "no fair...you do it for the girls...suck it up and get it done".

What do you think?

 

[Beth76]

Seriously, he'll never know. Even if you did tell him sometime later, he won't care.

 

[FroggyinArk]

sounds like an oportunity to change all the cakes over to me

 

[mommaU4]

Oh please give yourself permission to relax and be stress free!!! I blame the parenting magazines for this pressure to be perfect! At a year old he can just as easily smash his hands into a store bought cake as a home made one. So don't worry about it. Relax and enjoy your son's one year birthday!

 

[castleview]

sounds like an oportunity to change all the cakes over to me

I say that every time I'm squeezing those tip #16 stars out onto the cake! And yes, he is a boy. They don't care...right?

 

[Buckalew11]

This is what we always do: I buy a store bought cake from the bakery, just plain icing (no flowers etc.) then DH decorates it. He draws character of choice and fills it all in. he's done Pooh, Baby Dil, Blue (from Blues Clues), Boo (from Monsters INC.), and several others. I should probably just bake a cake but it is so much easier on me to buy it and let him decorate. He's really good!!

 

[Pop Daddy]

when he gets older just explain to him you love his sisters more

 

[Colleen456]

We do the Wilton self decorating cakes here too most of the time. When DS was 5 we got him a Batman cake for his bowling party and he thinks those are way cooler than the ones we make at home. Easier on us too!

I have to say I like the idea of buying a plain frosted cake and personalize it yourself.

 

[castleview]

when he gets older just explain to him you love his sisters more

Grrrr! Here comes the guilt again...

 

[Pop Daddy]

Grrrr! Here comes the guilt again...

lol, come on now, you know Im teasing

 

[Aidensmom]

He's going to be 1, buy the cake. Save your guilt for when he's old enough to give it to you.

 

[trip]

He better get used to being the third child. Do you have as many pictures of him as his sisters? I have 3 DD's and as much as I love my third, her stack of pictures is way smaller!!

 

[C.Ann]

Buy the store bought cake.. Just make sure that if he gets any "cash" gifts for his birthday you put it aside for the therapy he's going to need later on when he finds out the girls got cakes that you slaved over for hours and his cake was from the 24-hour supermarket...

Absolutely kidding of course!!!!!!

Buy the cake - no problem at all..

 

[castleview]

He better get used to being the third child. Do you have as many pictures of him as his sisters? I have 3 DD's and as much as I love my third, her stack of pictures is way smaller!!

OMG, I didn't take him for formal pictures until he was well over 10 months! Let's see: DD6 7 weeks, 3 months, 6, months, 1 yr. 15 mos, 2 yrs...
DD4 9 months, 14 months, 2 yrs....
DS1 10 months - and they didn't even come out, I still have to
get to the store to do retakes! Aaah!

You're right, I've already screwed him over!

 

[Nicolepa]

I had the same issue as you when my ds turned one. We were living in an apartment while our house was being built and honestly he was lucky to be getting a party at all! LOL. After a few tears, I went to the grocery store and ordered one. Well it turns out they give free cake for the first birthday! That took the guilt away, free is always better than slaving away!

 

[C.Ann]

He better get used to being the third child. Do you have as many pictures of him as his sisters? I have 3 DD's and as much as I love my third, her stack of pictures is way smaller!!

----------------------

That made me chuckle.. I was the third child (until many years later when I was 17 and my parents adopted a little boy) and they had TONS of pictures of my older brother and my older sister, but trying to find one of me was like looking for a needle in the haystack..

 

[castleview]

Ok, it looks like I'm buying the cake! Thank you so much everyone. I laughed quite a bit reading this thread.

 

[Barb D]

I've decorated a couple of cakes in my day, but finally decided that it's not worth my time. Now I buy a cake from the bakery, get them to do the writing (which I'm not good at) and then I add action figures or toys of the kids' choice. For DD6 I had the bakery put an icing rainbow on the cake, and then we put a couple of My Little Ponies on it.

 

[rt2dz]

You know who gets the shaft in our family? Not DS#1, not DS#3, but DS#2.

Yes, he had no party and a store bought cake when he turned 1. Actually, I forgot all about it and had to run out to the store right before dinner. He just turned two & I did make the cake with his favorite (Donald Duck), but no party--not even a single present. And here I am planning DS#1 BIG (30 kids) birthday party and buying presents for his birthday next week. And he has never had a store bought cake. And then we already know what we are doing for DS#3 when he turns 1 this summer. Yes, I get the bad parent award.

In my defense, DS#2 doesn't know the difference yet and DS#1 does. And with DS#2 bday being right after Christmas, I just don't have the energy (or the desire to put the funds into) a birthday party.

Just buy the cake. It's having a cake, not where it comes from. If you want, get it from a bakery and then it's more special. Your DDs might even be jealous.

ETA: DS#2 at 3 weeks before he turned two, just had his picture taken for the first time!

 

[Laura]

Things slide after 3 kids! My mom kept baby books for all of us, documenting the first word, first step, etc. I'm the middle child of three and you could tell that my mom had less and less time when my younger sister was born, because the detail of those books dropped considerably with each child.

And with DS#2 bday being right after Christmas, I just don't have the energy (or the desire to put the funds into) a birthday party.

That's understandable now. But if Christmas burn-out continues to get to you in the coming years, he'll eventually notice if his birthday gets practically ignored. My birthday is a little before Christmas, and so I got the party and all that (my mom was raised in a household where favoritism was rampant, and she was determined that wouldn't happen to her kids). But I've heard many stories from fellow December babies that they did get the shaft on their b-days. And it still bugs them--not that they're in therapy, it's just mighty irritating to get birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper or cheapo presents because family is strapped for cash that month. Just something to keep in mind.