Should I do anything more than this?

[KiminChicago]

The other day I had my DS (he's in 8th grade) and some of the other neighborhood kids in my car after I picked them up from a school function. As we were driving along, I heard one of the kids mentioned that she was prank calling another child on his cell phone. The child on the receiving end of the prank calls is an unusual young man -- he was in our Cub Scout den and he always acted as if he was smarter than all the adults. He has very few friends in school and is often in the principal's office because he refuses to do homework (he feels that it is a waste of his time). In other words, he's not too popular.

Anyway, when the other kids in my car heard about the prank calls, they were laughing and some of the others were saying they wanted the cell phone number themselves (not my DS thank goodness). I didn't say anything in the car, but after we got home, I sat my son down and pointed out that the prank calls could be considered a form of bullying and that the young man in question is not someone who would react well to the prank calls in any case. I also mentioned to my son that he might want to consider pointing out to the other kids that the prank calls weren't a very good idea. He agreed that I was probably right.

Since the kids do feel comfortable talking amonst themselves in my car (and I've overheard an earful on other rides), I'm inclined to pretty much mind my own business and leave it at the warning to my DS. I didn't really hear what the prank call was all about so I don't know if there is anything else I could tell anyone anyway.

WWYD?

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

You were right to talk to your ds about it.

Personally I think I would have jumped in at the time and said something to the effect of be careful with any phone calls you make because the other person can press charges.

I tend to talk like that to my kids' friends. They don't seem to mind because I'm not lecturing them, I don't tattle on them (unless it's something I think is really dangerous) and I'm basically letting them make the decisions while thinking out the consequences. So far it seems to be working as my son and his friends feel like they can confide in me and we can talk things out.

 

[piperdown]

There have been a couple of situations that I can think of where DD and friends were in the back seat discussing the issues/problems with this or that person. I tend to ask questions like why do you think that person acts/dresses that way? I don't judge or lecture them, but hopefully get them to think and possibly emathize.

 

[RUDisney]

Kids are stupid about things. Please share this story with them.

My DS's exGF decided to start prank calling ME. I let it go for a while, but one night, she called 2X while I was getting dinner on the table. I called the police and they sent an officer to my house.

She thought she was smart to use *67 to block her number. What she didn't know is that if you hit *57 after a prank call, it traces the last call that was made to you. It doesn't matter if it was a private number, a blocked number or if it was masked from a company. It traces the call and the police can retrieve that information for you.

When the officer called a couple weeks later, he told me that it was whom I thought it was making the calls. He asked if I wanted to press charges. I asked that he only go to her house and put the fear of God into her.

After he did that, she was grounded, but she still wrote on my DS's FB wall that I was the jerk because I called the police on her. In her 14yo mind, she did no wrong.

While she wouldn't have gotten jail time for this first offense, she could have faced a hefty fine.

That is why you don't prank call people.

 

[Kat77]

I would tell the parents of the girl making the prank calls. I also would have spoken up in the car.

 

[LisaR]

I would have said something to the kids in the car but that is just my personality. There isn't a teen friend of my kids that doesn't know that I will speak my mind if they are doing something stupid. DD claims that all of her friends like me and think I am cool so it must not bother them too much. DD would not agree with them on the cool part.

 

[ManMythLegend]

I would tell the parents of the girl making the prank calls. I also would have spoken up in the car.

This is a bad idea. Then nobody would talk around you and would instead keep pretty much everything hidden from you. It's a good way to lose communication with your kids.

I liked the suggestion of a previous poster to just talk to your own kid privately about it. I don't think parents have any business lecturing other kids about anything to be honest.

 

[NHdisneylover]

This is a bad idea. Then nobody would talk around you and would instead keep pretty much everything hidden from you. It's a good way to lose communication with your kids.

I liked the suggestion of a previous poster to just talk to your own kid privately about it. I don't think parents have any business lecturing other kids about anything to be honest.

See--I eel like when a child is in y care I do very much have a right (and responsibility) to keep tabs on how they are behaving and stop inappropriate behaviour.

In this case, I would have done as others mentioned and simply interrupted their conversations to make the comment that they should think about the trouble they can very easily find themselves in by making prank calls (and then, as the OP did talk more about it with my child at home later).
Had the prank caller taken out her cell phone and tried to make such a call while in my car I would have put a stop to it immediately.

 

[ManMythLegend]

See--I eel like when a child is in y care I do very much have a right (and responsibility) to keep tabs on how they are behaving and stop inappropriate behaviour.

In this case, I would have done as others mentioned and simply interrupted their conversations to make the comment that they should think about the trouble they can very easily find themselves in by making prank calls (and then, as the OP did talk more about it with my child at home later).
Had the prank caller taken out her cell phone and tried to make such a call while in my car I would have put a stop to it immediately.

Yea I think you have a right to a certain extent but I don't think a kid making a prank call is one of those times.

Just curious but how would you have put a stop to it? It's not like the kid is gonna let you take their phone.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yea I think you have a right to a certain extent but I don't think a kid making a prank call is one of those times.

Just curious but how would you have put a stop to it? It's not like the kid is gonna let you take their phone.

I would consider this to be quite a big issue and absolutely one I would have a right to stop. I believe repeated prank calls is considered to be telephone harassment and illegal in most places in the USA. You truly think stopping someone from breaking the law while they are in your care or on/in your property is wrong? What issues do you feel are okay for a parent to prohibit on their own property and what are not?


If you are in my car and you are doing that I tell you it is not allowed and to put the phone away. Most kids will be reasonable and do that (even if they grumble about it). If it were the kind of kid who would continue to make the call after I said not to, depending on the circumstances I might either call Mom or Dad to come get him right then or else be done with the carpooling from then on. People are not allowed to be on (or in) my property and harass other people. If they do I tell them to stop. If they refuse to stop they leave and are not welcome here any longer. I would consider this to be quite a big issue and absolutely one I would have a right to stop.

 

[ManMythLegend]

What issues do you feel are okay for a parent to prohibit on their own property and what are not?

I'm not sure why you're confused or you're being silly with me. I think issues that are worth your effort would be kids being blatantly disrespectful to you, engaging in acts which could cause immediate harm to them or others, engaging in behavior which would be explicitly prohibited by their own parents. (Smoking, Drinking, Fighting, Mouthing off to you, Stealing, Cheating, etc.)

I'm not really sure that a prank call fits in any of those categories. But that's my opinion and you're entitled to do what you want, I just don't think its worth the aggravation. Frankly I would just laugh if a kid in my car was trying to make a prank call. I think most people have made a prank call or two during their childhood.

 

[XYSRUS]

I would consider this to be quite a big issue and absolutely one I would have a right to stop. What issues do you feel are okay for a parent to prohibit on their own property and what are not?


If you are in my car and you are doing that I tell you it is not allowed and to put the phone away. Most kids will be reasonable and do that (even if they grumble about it). If it were the kind of kid who would continue to make the call after I said not to, depending on the circumstances I might either call Mom or Dad to come get him right then or else be done with the carpooling from then on. People are not allowed to be on (or in) my property and harass other people. If they do I tell them to stop. If they refuse to stop they leave and are not welcome here any longer. I would consider this to be quite a big issue and absolutely one I would have a right to stop. What issues do you feel are okay for a parent to prohibit on their own property and what are not?

I agree. And I think the OP missed a great opportunity to talk to these kids about a pertinent issue these days. My car. My rules. We are all our brothers' keeper.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm not sure why you're confused or you're being silly with me. I think issues that are worth your effort would be kids being blatantly disrespectful to you, engaging in acts which could cause immediate harm to them or others, engaging in behavior which would be explicitly prohibited by their own parents. (Smoking, Drinking, Fighting, Mouthing off to you, Stealing, Cheating, etc.)

I'm not really sure that a prank call fits in any of those categories. But that's my opinion and you're entitled to do what you want, I just don't think its worth the aggravation. Frankly I would just laugh if a kid in my car was trying to make a prank call. I think most people have made a prank call or two during their childhood.

I wasn't confused--you gave no examples before for me to have any understanding of what you DO and DO NOT consider it okay to forbid other people's children from doing when in your care. Nor was I being silly. Thank you for expounding on what you consider the times a parents has a right to intervene. Personally, while I would not like a child mouthing off to me an might well decide i id not want that child around much, I would not find that nearly such a big deal as the prank call. Clearly, we think of prank calls (especially as described in the OP--ongoing to one child who already has trouble fitting in) in very different ways.

 

[ManMythLegend]

I think the 2nd poster also handled it well by saying what the consequences might be of such an action but still leaving the choice up to the kids. I think most kids would probably put the phone away at that point and the parent doesn't come across looking like a dictator.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think the 2nd poster also handled it well by saying what the consequences might be of such an action but still leaving the choice up to the kids. I think most kids would probably put the phone away at that point and the parent doesn't come across looking like a dictator.

Again, if the children are just talking about making the calls but not making them right then this is EXACTLY how I would handle it (with a follow up talk with my own). I have no problem, however, "dictating" that harassing and likely illegal behaviour will not be tolerated in my home/car.

Oh, and BTW, no I never did make any prank calls as a kid/teen. Not a single one. I knew that was serious and not okay and I knew it had an affect on more than just myself. I recall a few times when a few kids I knew talked about making them, but I don't think it was all that common The few times I do recall were things like calling a store and asking a silly question--never repeatedly calling a classmate to mock them or anything like the OP describes.

 

[Teacher03]

I agree. And I think the OP missed a great opportunity to talk to these kids about a pertinent issue these days. My car. My rules. We are all our brothers' keeper.

I agree. I agree with the OP, this is a form of bullying. After all, they are not pranking the kid because they're friends, they're pranking him because he is 'unusual.' I'm sure there are other things going on besides calling him on the phone.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would tell the parents of the girl making the prank calls. I also would have spoken up in the car.

I always teach my daughter not to be the class rat so no way would I do this!

This is a bad idea. Then nobody would talk around you and would instead keep pretty much everything hidden from you. It's a good way to lose communication with your kids.

I liked the suggestion of a previous poster to just talk to your own kid privately about it. I don't think parents have any business lecturing other kids about anything to be honest.

I agree! I would certainly talk to my kid about it but I would not want some random parent lecturing my kid so I would not do that to theirs. I teach my daughter to keep her mouth shut unless it directly effects her or could cause serious bodily harm/death to another.
I always remember in school the kid next to me set off a pack of firecrackers in the classroom and I got dragged to the principals office to try to get me to tell on them-- I hung tight for 15 minutes of questions but never gave the kid up, they called my mom and when I got home she was not mad because she agrees to mind your own business- I was not going to be the rat and I tell my daughter the same thing!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I always teach my daughter not to be the class rat so no way would I do this!



I agree! I would certainly talk to my kid about it but I would not want some random parent lecturing my kid so I would not do that to theirs. I teach my daughter to keep her mouth shut unless it directly effects her or could cause serious bodily harm/death to another.
I always remember in school the kid next to me set off a pack of firecrackers in the classroom and I got dragged to the principals office to try to get me to tell on them-- I hung tight for 15 minutes of questions but never gave the kid up, they called my mom and when I got home she was not mad because she agrees to mind your own business- I was not going to be the rat and I tell my daughter the same thing!

Personally, I would never describe the parent driving a car in the carpool as "some random parent" --they are more like: the adult in charge at the moment. "Some random parent" would be a parent who runs into the child while both happen to be out at the mall, school parking lot or whatever.

I am not sure I understand how your example relates. No one asked any of the kids to tell on other kids. No one even said to tell the other kids' parents (except me and only if, when told to stop making the call the child flat out refused to do so--I won't remain responsible for a child who is blatantly defiant in the face of a reasonable request).

Allowing (or not allowing) harassment to take place falls under the umbrella of things I am okay with the adult in charge handling for my kids (or anyone's). Use of foul language (while I might well ignore it, but I know it really bother's others so would have no issue if someone else said something if it happened on their watch), smoking, drinking, etc. (mostly all behaviours which are happening IN THE MOMENT when the other parents is in charge) are all under that umbrella. Things not under that umbrella are things like/; what the child wears (ie, no you cannot tell a child to put on a less revealing shirt when you pick them up for carpool), how the style their hair or make up, taking away belonging but you can tell them to put them away at your house), not allowing calls to parents, etc.

 

[okeydokey]

The kids who would be riding in my car are mostly kids my friends see quite often and these kids are friends of the whole family (Meaning that we know the parents well and are involved with them socially). I would have said something in the car about it being the wrong thing to do and could be a form of bullying. I would EXPECT that if my kid was in another parent's car that they would speak up also, but then again, we do in a way parent each others' kids when they are in our care.

 

[Mermaid02]

I agree. I agree with the OP, this is a form of bullying. After all, they are not pranking the kid because they're friends, they're pranking him because he is 'unusual.' I'm sure there are other things going on besides calling him on the phone.

This!

I would tell all the kids parents what I overheard and I would tell the boys parents what I overheard. This could escalate into something pretty bad. Can you imagine if your son/daughter was getting MULTIPLE prank calls like this?