Should I Be Mad?

[livie1205]

I am very upset today....let me try to make this short...my two boys 9 and 10 yr old went to play at a friends house the other day,well the boys were all playing (yes just playing) and the little boy got hurt (not bad just owwy that hurt) well the mother said ok everyone has to leave because its getting to rowdy (i am ok with that and i agree) well they were getting on their bikes and the boys 21 yr old brother came outside and said "dont bring your WHITE *** BACK HERE" they are black we are white now we do NOT teach our kids to think this way first of all and then there is the fact the guy is 21 yrs old and saying this to my small boys....I am very angry, the boys dad always comes down and chats with my husband and the kids play together often but i do not teach my kids it is ok to say things like this, what would you do? should we talk to the father?

 

[Cindyluwho]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with the father, I'd say go ahead and talk to him. I'm sure it's something you two can straighten out. He'll probably cringe when he finds out what his 21 yo son said If one of your kids said something like that wouldn't you want to know?

 

[mylilnikita]

I would be talking to the 21 year old, he is a grown man.

 

[java]

I would talk to the father. Yes the 21 year old is an adult - but I bet Dad would like to know that. (are you certain that is the way it happened? And I would approach it in a "according to my son......" )

 

[N.Bailey]

We're like you and would never allow any type of racist remarks to be said in our house. I don't know, I can say that the 21 year old shouldn't have made any statement like that, but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. I don't think it's necessarily a reflection of the family in general. I'd probably have a talk with my kids and leave it at that.

If it escalates into something more, I'd then rethink my next step, but I wouldn't want to blow it out of proportion at this stage.

 

[livie1205]

yeh we were going to talk to the father since my husband does have somewhat of a relationship with him and it is his house and this guy is just living there....

 

[N.Bailey]

yeh we were going to talk to the father since my husband does have somewhat of a relationship with him and it is his house and this guy is just living there....

Isn't it his son?

 

[lg3]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with the father, I'd say go ahead and talk to him. I'm sure it's something you two can straighten out. He'll probably cringe when he finds out what his 21 yo son said If one of your kids said something like that wouldn't you want to know?

IA w/this.

Are you concerned about talking to the mother instead of the father based on what I gather is a better repartee w/him?

 

[livie1205]

yeh i do not plan on making a big deal of it but i am upset by it, it is his son but we have not met him,i think it is his son from a first wife and he has lived with his mother until now...the father is a real nice man so i dont think badly of the whole family...

 

[enyaj40]

i honestly don't know what i'd do

maybe say something like, "when the boys were playing roughly the other day, they mentioned to me that your son <insert name here> told them not to come back and i was wondering if you didn't want the boys to play together anymore?"

i don't know if i'd take it any further, but that's just me

it's a tough call

it's great you're having the discussion with your children

 

[december]

If this 21 yr old is living there, I would definitely talk to one of the parents. If he hasn't been raised with the family, he may have some racist tendencies and I would be afraid he would take it out on the boys. Really, if the roles were reversed and some one had told 2 little black boys that they didn't want "their black ***es over there, I think there would be a major problem! And besides the race issue, no one should be talking to your children in that way!

*******OK-I don't like that the cuss word appeared in my post, but I know it is against dis policy to edit your own words, so what do I do! I'm going to adjust it and hope not to get points! I just assumed the dis would do it for me!

 

[bumbershoot]

"it is against dis policy to edit your own words" ????? Why would they have the edit button then?


To the OP...did you hear this, or was this reported to you by your kids? I would tread lightly, b/c maybe the 21 year old was joking, or being goofy just using a phrase that came to mind, or any other number of other reasons. Personally, I'd take issue with the "a" word over the "w" word, but that's just me (actually if someone said it to me I would correct them that I'm actually much more pink than white, but again, that's just me).

 

[december]

"it is against dis policy to edit your own words" ????? Why would they have the edit button then?


To the OP...did you hear this, or was this reported to you by your kids? I would tread lightly, b/c maybe the 21 year old was joking, or being goofy just using a phrase that came to mind, or any other number of other reasons. Personally, I'd take issue with the "a" word over the "w" word, but that's just me (actually if someone said it to me I would correct them that I'm actually much more pink than white, but again, that's just me).

By edit I meant starring out certain words. I just read today about someone who was given points for starring out their own cuss word. When I typed the "a" word the first time I just assumed it would be starred out, but wasn't.

I think using the words together shows that the brother has a problem with their race. As an adult I could laugh it off and point it out to him. As a 9 or 10 yr old, I wouldn't know how to respond. I think the parents need to know how their son/stepson responded to the situation.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

"it is against dis policy to edit your own words" ????? Why would they have the edit button then?


.

You can't edit your own naughty words. I typed out a word, and put 2 hyphens instead of typing it out. I was honestly attempting to not cuss--but rec'd points anyway. You can edit your posts. that is the reason for the edit button.

To the OP--Good luck w/ the Dad. Hope things work out.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

By edit I meant starring out certain words. I just read today about someone who was given points for starring out their own cuss word. When I typed the "a" word the first time I just assumed it would be starred out, but wasn't.

I think using the words together shows that the brother has a problem with their race. As an adult I could laugh it off and point it out to him. As a 9 or 10 yr old, I wouldn't know how to respond. I think the parents need to know how their son/stepson responded to the situation.

Sorry - don't mean to hijack your thread. Partially spelling the word so that it is discernible when it should be filtered is what is against guidelines. In this case, the plural spelling of the word didn't catch the filtered word. So I fixed it & it's okay this way.

 

[december]

Sorry - don't mean to hijack your thread. Partially spelling the word so that it is discernible when it should be filtered is what is against guidelines. In this case, the plural spelling of the word didn't catch the filtered word. So I fixed it & it's okay this way.

Thanks for fixing it! I really try hard to play by the rules!