Should I be as upset as I am? Re: Inappropriate TV

[Tinkermommy]

I would have not been that upset.

I probably would have said something like "Oh, looks like this is only for adults. Let's switch back to SpongeBob." and moved on.

The bigger deal you make it then the bigger deal it becomes.

And I think violent imagery and even the watching the news is more disturbing than a bunch of people having sex.

I hate when they have the news on someplace and my daughter asks why someone killed a child. I can much more easily explain away naked people having sex.

 

[MushyMushy]

I would have not been that upset.

I probably would have said something like "Oh, looks like this is only for adults. Let's switch back to SpongeBob." and moved on.

The bigger deal you make it then the bigger deal it becomes.

And I think violent imagery and even the watching the news is more disturbing than a bunch of people having sex.

I hate when they have the news on someplace and my daughter asks why someone killed a child. I can much more easily explain away naked people having sex.

Exactly.

Seeing something sexual is a great opportunity to reinforce your values and position on sex with the kids. Or for some parents who fail to have that discussion early on when it will do the most good, a good time to introduce the discussion.

 

[AustinTink]

I'm wondering if the people that say no big deal have ever seen a hardcore porn movie. This is not a romantic comedy with a little nudity and simulated sex. Nor, is it an episode of SVU.

No, you don't freak out and cause a scene, to confuse the kid even more. But, is it upsetting to know your 7 year old saw it? Heck yeah. Give the op a break. She's entitled to her feelings.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I'm wondering if the people that say no big deal have ever seen a hardcore porn movie. This is not a romantic comedy with a little nudity and simulated sex. Nor, is it an episode of SVU.

No, you don't freak out and cause a scene, to confuse the kid even more. But, is it upsetting to know your 7 year old saw it? Heck yeah. Give the op a break. She's entitled to her feelings.

Yes, I have seen hardcore porn. And people having sex (even graphically displayed) to me is still not as disturbing as violence portrayed or even reported on in detail. I do not watch or listen to the news.

And the OP did ask. It's in her thread title.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Op, I know you are upset, but it really isn't the end of the world. Have a discussion with your son about it if you want, but he will not be scarred for life.

I remember going to the drive-in theaters a lot as a kid. These were the days when one screen would show Bambi and one screen would show porn. My mom would just yell at us to turn around if she caught us turning our heads. Now, seeing the Exorcist at 3 years old did scar me. I can still remember the fear to this day and I was afraid of the dark until I became an adult.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm wondering if the people that say no big deal have ever seen a hardcore porn movie. This is not a romantic comedy with a little nudity and simulated sex. Nor, is it an episode of SVU.

No, you don't freak out and cause a scene, to confuse the kid even more. But, is it upsetting to know your 7 year old saw it? Heck yeah. Give the op a break. She's entitled to her feelings.

Yes, I have. I know what porn is, and I know what's in it. A child will live after being exposed to a few minutes of it. I still say it's a good way to reinforce your values and give them a talk about safe sex and love.

Honest, the kids will live.

 

[pigletgirl]

I think you have a right to be upset, but the good thing is that its not the end of the world!

 

[MushyMushy]

Op, I know you are upset, but it really isn't the end of the world. Have a discussion with your son about it if you want, but he will not be scarred for life.

I remember going to the drive-in theaters a lot as a kid. These were the days when one screen would show Bambi and one screen would show porn. My mom would just yell at us to turn around if she caught us turning our heads. Now, seeing the Exorcist at 3 years old did scar me. I can still remember the fear to this day and I was afraid of the dark until I became an adult.

OMG, we had a drive in like that here too! I can't tell you how many times we'd try to get a peek at it. I used to find my dad's dirty mags when I was younger too. The yucky kind.

 

[Magpie]

I'm wondering if the people that say no big deal have ever seen a hardcore porn movie. This is not a romantic comedy with a little nudity and simulated sex. Nor, is it an episode of SVU.

No, you don't freak out and cause a scene, to confuse the kid even more. But, is it upsetting to know your 7 year old saw it? Heck yeah. Give the op a break. She's entitled to her feelings.

Yes, I have, and frankly a few minutes of a few sweaty, grunting adults waving their naughty bits around is a LOT less disturbing to me than many episodes of SVU.

I'd rather explain explicit porn to my 7yo ("Yes, son, weird as it may seem, some adults find this sort of thing exciting. I blame hormones.") than explain to him why parents would murder their own children.

 

[AustinTink]

Yes, I have, and frankly a few minutes of a few sweaty, grunting adults waving their naughty bits around is a LOT less disturbing to me than many episodes of SVU.

I'd rather explain explicit porn to my 7yo ("Yes, son, weird as it may seem, some adults find this sort of thing exciting. I blame hormones.") than explain to him why parents would murder their own children.

Some would argue that the existence of hardcore porn in society feeds the minds of those that commit the atrocities you see on the news and shows like SVU. But, that discussion can be left for another thread.

The question was should she be upset. My answer is yes. Is the child scarred for life, duh, of course not. Is it something minor like looking at a Playboy mag or a stripper? I say no, it's different. Just my opinion.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Some would argue that the existence of hardcore porn in society feeds the minds of those that commit the atrocities you see on the news and shows like SVU. But, that discussion can be left for another thread.

The question was should she be upset. My answer is yes. Is the child scarred for life, duh, of course not. Is it something minor like looking at a Playboy mag or a stripper? I say no, it's different. Just my opinion.

I agree. I don't see it as a "rather" thing either. It's not like a menu or something.

 

[eliza61]

I'm wondering if the people that say no big deal have ever seen a hardcore porn movie. This is not a romantic comedy with a little nudity and simulated sex. Nor, is it an episode of SVU.

No, you don't freak out and cause a scene, to confuse the kid even more. But, is it upsetting to know your 7 year old saw it? Heck yeah. Give the op a break. She's entitled to her feelings.

pLeeze, I've seen hard core porn movies being made (in nyc during a film class). I've seen tons. Personally I more worried about the graphic blood and gore on some mature rating video games than any thing hard core porn could show. A 7 year old would have absolutely no reference to base what he saw on. I was commenting on her worry about her son being "scarred for life".

She's definitely entitled to her feelings, we are just trying to talk her down from a ledge before compounding the situation. For a 7 year old seeing their parents freak out with out knowing why is probably a heck of a lot scarier than something they see on tv for 90 seconds.

 

[goofy!]

Don't you either have to pay monthly for those stations or pay them as on demand? How could he just turn it on?


I would just let it go at this point. If you keep bringing it up it's just going to pique his curiosity and go search it out to find out about it. I'm willing to bet he isn't even thinking about it any more.

That was what I was wondering too. We subscribe to all the premium channels and the shows on Skin-a-max, HBO and ilk are definitely not hard-core porn. There is no male frontal nudity or such.

If the child in question knows how to find the porn channels on on-demand and then knows how to order them as they are extra from even the premium channels, then the child is not as mentally disabled as the parents think

I would be more worried that the parents are not noticing extra porn movie charges on their cable bill.

My child watched Real Sex on HBO one time for a few minutes at about the same age. He is now a teen and it did not scar him at all. In fact, he doesn't remember what he saw, but he does remember me swooping into the room and changing the channel.

So, I would have to agree that it is all about how the parent reacts, not about the actual stuff they saw on tv.

 

[bookgirl]

Don't forget that even though your nephew's mind is young his body is a teenager. It's releasing hormones just like any boy that age only he has a young boys judgment and instant gratification thinking.

It's probably time for someone to have a talk with the teen, and because of his capabilities he may need "the talk" multiple times to fully get it, but he really needs to be made to understand the urges of his body and the appropriatness of dealing with them.

As for the seven year old, let it be and if he asks any questions answer them honestly on his level then explain that he is young and in a few years there will be more questions and answers but until them not to ever be afraid of coming to mom and dad with any questions or if anything or body makes him uncomfortable like seeing the tv and you will always be there to listen and help him.

It's a teaching moment, not one you particularly wanted but still a teaching moment.

 

[Minnesota!]

Eh - I wouldn't freak. Your reaction determines your kids' reaction.

Probably not going to sound all that great, but my aunt and uncle had quite a stash of hardcore porn that they didn't try and hide. So of course all of us would sneak it into the basement at different times and there would be a group of us kids watching this while one kid sat on the step as a look out. All of us turned out fine.

I would much rather my kid caught a peek at some hardcore sex than a gory, gruesome murder on TV...

 

[MushyMushy]

My child watched Real Sex on HBO one time for a few minutes at about the same age. He is now a teen and it did not scar him at all. In fact, he doesn't remember what he saw, but he does remember me swooping into the room and changing the channel.

Real Sex has scarred me for life! Have you seen some of the people they put on that show?

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think seeing something like the twin towers coming down probably scarred a lot more people (kids and adults) than any kind of sex scene, no matter how graphic, ever could.

I've taught sex ed to 5th graders. I've had to answer questions from them about incest, rape, sexual violence, knives put where no knife ought to ever go... and why? Because their parents watch Law and Order, SVU, Criminal Minds, all that crud. And they don't think twice about sheltering their kids, or even explaining it to them, because it's on Prime Time TV.

So two minutes of a porn movie?

I would have just laughed and said, "Guys, you don't want to watch this stuff! It's nothing but sex." Then turned the channel to something more appropriate.

As for your nephew saying his mom watches this stuff at home? I'll bet you anything she's watching prime time crime shows, and he just doesn't know the difference.

I disagree