I don't see your post as trying to start anything, but I don't believe the concept of respectful dress is a regional thing.
I've been to many weddings where formal attire was specified, and I have never seen anybody show up in a t-shirt and jeans. I have been to these weddings in Southern California, Washington, Florida, Illinois, Louisiana, and New Jersey and people in all those states thought it would be disrespectful to the bride and groom to dress casually for a formal event.
I have attended ballets in Washington, California, and Florida. With the exception of ballet school and university performances, people dress formally. I've never seen a note about expected dress on a ticket, and I've never seen a t-shirt and shorts in the theater during an evening performance. Maybe matinees are less formal, but I've never been to one.
When I have attended funerals, the only people not dressed at least semi-formally where the people who dressed for work because they didn't have time to change before or after the services.
Now it's my turn to say I don't want to start anything but...
If any reader thinks it should be perfectly OK to dress however you want for a formal wedding (I'm gracing you with my time, spending my hard earned money to get here, so accept it!) then please explain why you think a t-shirt and jeans are acceptable at what the organizers state is a formal event.
And if any reader thinks it is unacceptable to disrespect a marrying couple or the family of a deceased individual by showing up at a formal wedding or at a funeral in casual dress, but it's perfectly OK to attend a formal dinner dressed totally casually, please explain why one formal event deserves respect and the other doesn't.
UMMM...I wouldn't show up to a "formal or semi formal" event in shorts and a polo shirt either (including a meal)...I was asking why it is disrespectful to show up in shorts and a polo shirt to a "cruise casual" meal?! -Not sure how that compares to a funeral or wedding but maybe I should have been more specific...
I think we are on two different topics...