Sharing hotel rooms with coworkers?

[cabanafrau]

I don't think I'm shifting positions.

What I originally said was: "I'm obviously more on the extroverted side of things, and wasn't taking into full account of the needs of introverts."

Then when someone said they didn't understand what introvert and extrovert has to do with it, I explained...

"Introverts typically need time to decompress at the end of a day of dealing with people. They need their "alone time" to recharge. A lot of people have listed this as a reason for needing their own room. I wasn't referring to you specifically."

I've subsequently tried to explain that introversion and extroversion is all about where you get your energy from. And I've tried to say that people are complex creatures who are never totally one thing or another. Also, I haven't "labeled" anyone. In fact, my very second post on this topic says, "I wasn't referring to you specifically." Or specifically anyone else for that matter.

In any case, rest assured, I am not calling you an introvert.

It's not about my being labeled anything or called anything. Don't care. But based on what you know about me, that I want to room solo, your classification criteria label me an introvert.

If we were coworkers for a good period of time, interacted and observed each other often, ate lunch together or walked or shopped together on our lunch hours regularly, often including various coworkers in the mix, etc., you might label me an extrovert based on the interactions and observations over the years, even though I'm still the same person who wants to room solo.

IMO it's a poor measure upon which to make the call.

 

[nkereina]

Crap happens? While it has happened, it's rare someone will go "#2" and stink up the entire room. Turn the bathroom fan on. I also don't think I've been in a hotel room where the toilet is 3' away from the bed/couch whatever (maybe on a cruise ship).

One of our large events, we get 16 rooms (and put two people in each). Each room is ~$1,000 for the weekend (four nights). And you can't get much cheaper. A "normal" night in one of these rooms is $70, the priced is raised for the event we attend. I'd MUCH rather share a room than stay in a "cheap" hotel.

Don't get me wrong, I prefer being by myself, but if my choice is some cheap flea bag motel for $50/night or a Hampton Inn/Holiday Inn Express/Marriott/etc for $100 and I have to share the room, "Hi, roomie!"

You don't need to stink up the entire room in order to have an uncomfortable scenario. Even if there's a lingering odor in the bathroom, chances are the other person will get a whif when you come out. Even though it's a natural thing, I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone that would be comfortable pooping with co-workers in close proximity who know exactly what you're doing. And perhaps 3 feet away was an exaggeration, but you're still in a 200 square foot hotel room. Noises and smells are inevitable.

I agree with a poster up-thread who said one should be worried about a company that's pinching pennies over hotel rooms which should be minimal cost in the grand scheme of the company's spend. There are other ways to minimize spend when it comes to traveling on business, and forcing employees to share a room shouldn't be a consideration.

 

[tvguy]

What if one of them were homosexual? Or transgender?

Would you be willing to share a room with someone that felt like your gender, but had the parts of another?

Never had that come up in a work environment. Not sure what difference that would make since you have the bathroom for privacy when you are changing clothes,etc.

Now, in my first job involving travel, way back in the 1970's, there was one senior staffer who was very concerned about rooming with certain people who smoked pot..... and he requested not to have to room with any of those people. The company always made sure he was paired with someone who did not smoke pot.

 

[kamik86]

Just sayin'...

I can't believe people would be willing to quit a job they like/are secure in rather than spend a night with a co-worker. (It's not like the company is trolling the lobby for someone to share a room, they know this person.) If there IS a reason to not want to room with 'that' specific person, I would understand and it'd be an issue to take up with your manager. I couldn't room with a smoker. The stink of residue on their clothes is always there. But the original post here just said 'in general'. Likewise with the car sharing. Of course there would be reasons to not want to car share - again, the smoking thing, unsafe driver/unsafe car etc.

Many are saying they like the quiet and privacy after working all day. Wouldn't you give your co-worker's needs the same respect? Perhaps they'd be the same. You can be alone in a room with another person. Put your headphones on, read a book...whatever you would do if you were alone.

Transgender wasn't an issue in the original posts. No sense bringing your own biases and aversions into it. Would I care? No. It's a business trip, not an orgy. I AM able to be in the same room with someone without the topic of their sexual preferences and identity coming up at all.

It is strange when you live alone (which, I'm assuming all the people who say 'no way I want my privacy' do, otherwise, how much privacy can you get in your own home?) because every sound in the room is foreign. I just say that if it's a business trip and treated as such - not just a wild weekend away with no responsibilities, it's not worth quitting a job I like over.

The issue is what if you have a coworker that DOESN"T need to rest and like quiet and privacy at the end of the day and that is who you end up sharing a room with.

My older sister is very extroverted. Going out with 5 or 6 friends is relaxing to her. So she would want to chat, etc. Actually the only reason sharing with a coworker like her might be ok is that she is going to want to go to the hotel bar when we get back so as long as I can manage to convince her that I"m not rude for not wanting to go with her I would get my alone time .

Me I can go out with a few friends but not a large group, and not every night. Going to someones house for dinner is something is something I need to relax after. It can be fun, but not relaxing.

She wouldn't think she is being disrespectful by trying to chat with me. I wouldn't think I was being disrespectful by leaving her alone. Yet when someone doesn't talk to her she thinks they are rude and ignoring her. When someone talks to me too much and won't let me get something done I think they are rude and annoying.


As for who I live with, I live with my husband. It is quite frequent for us to spend the evening on seperate floors of the house. (Besides dinner) I will go up to either "my room" (the spare bedroom I paint in) or "our bedroom" and read or watch TV. He will hang around in the living room and watch TV or play video games. We are further away then most people would be from the person in the next room at a hotel. We even have our own main bathrooms (both in the morning when we are getting ready and generally for using the bathroom). Honestly if both were full bathrooms (only one has a shower so obviously we both use that one) we probably would really have almost fully separate bathrooms.

 

[Magpie]

It's not about my being labeled anything or called anything. Don't care. But based on what you know about me, that I want to room solo, your classification criteria label me an introvert.

If we were coworkers for a good period of time, interacted and observed each other often, ate lunch together or walked or shopped together on our lunch hours regularly, often including various coworkers in the mix, etc., you might label me an extrovert based on the interactions and observations over the years, even though I'm still the same person who wants to room solo.

IMO it's a poor measure upon which to make the call.

You're the only one who can truly say whether you are an introvert or an extrovert.

Edit: Because at the end of the day, you're the only one who can know if you're exhausted or energized by all that social interaction. People who are strongly introverted also eat lunch with coworkers, walk and shop with them, include others in their social interactions, etc. The only difference between an introvert and an extrovert (and everyone in between) is where your energy comes from and how you recharge - is it by being alone with yourself, or by finding others with which to "debrief". Truly, no offense intended, and - as I've said repeatedly - no desire to label you.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

For those of you with no qualms about sharing a room with a co-worker, what about going #2? Seriously. I don't want to smell that from my co-worker and I would not be comfortable enough to do that with a co-worker three feet away from me.

I have a professional relationship with my co-workers and not much more. It would be odd and uncomfortable for my co-worker to see me in my jammies with no makeup and messy hair, maybe hear me snore or talk in my sleep, and then deal with the next morning's "bathroom routine" if you know what I mean.

While it wouldn't be the end of the world nor would I quit my job over it, I don't think it's appropriate for a company to force this on their employees. If it's to save a buck, they are essentially only saving a couple hundred dollars. And if the savings is more than that, that means employees are taking extended trips or traveling frequently which makes this policy all that much worse. My company gives us a price limit for hotels, based on the region, and that's how they control the travel budget.

My boss doesn't close the bathroom door at work. Granted, there is a stall in there to block the view, but it obviously doesn't block anything else.

There's no amount of money that would have me sharing a room with him.

 

[tvguy]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

 

[kamik86]

Never had that come up in a work environment. Not sure what difference that would make since you have the bathroom for privacy when you are changing clothes,etc.

Now, in my first job involving travel, way back in the 1970's, there was one senior staffer who was very concerned about rooming with certain people who smoked pot..... and he requested not to have to room with any of those people. The company always made sure he was paired with someone who did not smoke pot.

ARe you companies generally sending enough people that they can pair by requests and personality?

In our case the most I have ever traveled with was 7 people. That was rare. Most of the time its 1-3 people on a trip. Most of the time I would end up with my own room just on the idea that I was the only girl, on the few that there was another, there was only 1 other girl. Only 2 of those 7 were female.

So there would be no pairing people by personality and compatibility.

 

[kamik86]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

There were options in my college to swap if you didn't get along. Both ones that were due to roommate issues and other options where your roommate would never realize it was due to roommate issues such as choosing to join a special live together group (the computer science house or a number of other 'houses' that had a dorm floor, a sorority or fraternity, etc could be joined and by doing those you would be guarenteed to be with someone that at least shared your interest in the house subject). Only freshman year were you required to live in a dorm. I did for a bit longer but didn't have to. You did not have to share a single bathroom with someone else that also shared your schedule, so much less chance that you have to wake up earlier because the bathroom would always be busy when you needed to shower for example.

I also got lucky:
my first trimester (had fall, winter, and fall classes) I had a roomate I wasn't compatible with. She joined a soriority and moved out for winter and fall. It was the honors floor we lived in and no honors students wanted to move into a dorm so I got the room to myself for the rest of the year

My second year I had a roommate that I got along really well with and we managed to make it work. She was extremely nice and also mostly introverted.

I stayed for one trimester of my third year before moving out. that year my roommate's mom worked for the school (she was local and could have lived at home but wanted the "experience") and her boyfriend had a campus apartment. She kept enough stuff in our room to convince visiting family she lived there. She really lived with her boyfriend.

I still hated it. This was just something I got through as part of going to college. When I could (had enough money for a car) I moved to my own off campus studio apartment.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

I shared rooms in college to avoid costs to ME. Sharing rooms as a professional doesn't benefit ME. In college, I was paying them for the privilege of being there. As a professional, I travel becaus it's required, NOT because of any desire to do it. Totally different scenario.

BTW, the current trend in dorm rooms is a 4-bedroom suite with each student having their own private bedroom & bathroom, and a shared living room & kitchenette.

 

[Christine]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

What I did and put up with at 18 is far different than what I am willing to put up with as a 52 year old woman. I had NO issues back then of flopping anywhere with anyone. I don't feel that way anymore. I'm not overly thrilled with how I look with my hair wet, face coated in Vaseline, bulky robe, etc. My coworkers just don't need to know/see that much of me.

 

[nkereina]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

IMO, that's comparing apples to oranges. In college, you are dorming with your peers, many of which become friends. You're all there for classes and the activities that go along with college experience, not to earn a living. You get to know your roommates and floormates on a personal level.

Sharing a room with your co-worker means you are sharing a room with someone you have a professional relationship with. Someone whom you network with, may have had disagreements with, or may hold the key to your advancement some day. It also may be someone who is much older or younger than you, as opposed to a peer that may have similar habits or interests as you.

Gumbo4x4 also makes a great point that people CHOOSE to dorm with roommates in college. It's part of an experience people opt for. When it comes to work, traveling can be a requirement and your company should have an interest in making you as comfortable as possible while you're away from home for them.

 

[sam_gordon]

one should be worried about a company that's pinching pennies over hotel rooms which should be minimal cost in the grand scheme of the company's spend. There are other ways to minimize spend when it comes to traveling on business, and forcing employees to share a room shouldn't be a consideration.

As I said in my sample above, my company spends $16,000 just on hotel rooms for one weekend. I'm impressed you think saving $16,000 (double the amount of rooms) is "pinching pennies". Again, this is for four nights once a year. Another department sends folks on the road 3-5 days a week for a month and they share a room (by sex, so if there's three guys and one woman on the trip, two guys will share, one guy and the woman will each have an individual room).

 

[gwynne]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

I see a huge difference between 18-22 yo college kids and full time employed adults over college age. I think it's kind of shortsighted to treat working adults like they are college kids.

 

[nkereina]

As I said in my sample above, my company spends $16,000 just on hotel rooms for one weekend. I'm impressed you think saving $16,000 (double the amount of rooms) is "pinching pennies". Again, this is for four nights once a year. Another department sends folks on the road 3-5 days a week for a month and they share a room (by sex, so if there's three guys and one woman on the trip, two guys will share, one guy and the woman will each have an individual room).

It depends on the size of the company. Our travel budget in my department is close to 7 figures. If the company is failing and needing to save money, doubling up on hotel rooms isn't really going to make much of a dent. And it's just going to impact the morale of employees.

My point is the company has other options if they are looking to save money on travel. First, they could review the need for the travel in the first place. We've actually eliminated a lot of travel by using Skype, WebEx, video conferencing, etc. Also, they can evaluate if the people traveling actually need to be there. I travel alone quite frequently and represent various areas of my company, rather than spending the money to send 2-3 people with me. Third, implement a budget per trip - they could do this for the total cost of the trip or by segment (hotel, air, etc). Employees would then be bound by those spend limits. We also have "preferred" hotels identified in the areas we travel to the most. These are the most cost efficient middle of the road hotels (Marriotts, Hiltons) that employees are required to stay at when traveling to those areas. And many of these hotels also give corporate rates to us for the repeat business.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As I said in my sample above, my company spends $16,000 just on hotel rooms for one weekend. I'm impressed you think saving $16,000 (double the amount of rooms) is "pinching pennies". Again, this is for four nights once a year. Another department sends folks on the road 3-5 days a week for a month and they share a room (by sex, so if there's three guys and one woman on the trip, two guys will share, one guy and the woman will each have an individual room).

They could choose to send 1/2 as many people. Of course, the room is only one piece of the cost. If it's a convention, there's likely a fee, and obviously there are travel & food expenses for everyone.

So, for the same total expense, they could opt to send say 3/4 the original # of people and give everyone their own room.

 

[sam_gordon]

My point is the company has other options if they are looking to save money on travel. First, they could review the need for the travel in the first place. We've actually eliminated a lot of travel by using Skype, WebEx, video conferencing, etc. Also, they can evaluate if the people traveling actually need to be there. I travel alone quite frequently and represent various areas of my company, rather than spending the money to send 2-3 people with me. Third, implement a budget per trip - they could do this for the total cost of the trip or by segment (hotel, air, etc). Employees would then be bound by those spend limits. We also have "preferred" hotels identified in the areas we travel to the most. These are the most cost efficient middle of the road hotels (Marriotts, Hiltons) that employees are required to stay at when traveling to those areas. And many of these hotels also give corporate rates to us for the repeat business.

It seems you're making the assumption other companies travel like yours. They don't. We have a group of 70(!) people travel to this event. 32 of them get hotel rooms. This project can't be done (to the level TPTB want it done) with one, two, or even a dozen employees. As far as impacting the morale, cutting the number of people going to these events, which then puts more work on those who do attend, would have a bigger impact on morale than having to share a room.

Again, I get the desire to have a private room. I much prefer it also. But if my biggest problem with a company is needing to share a room while on a trip, I think I'm working for a pretty good company.

 

[gwynne]

It seems you're making the assumption other companies travel like yours. They don't. We have a group of 70(!) people travel to this event. 32 of them get hotel rooms. This project can't be done (to the level TPTB want it done) with one, two, or even a dozen employees. As far as impacting the morale, cutting the number of people going to these events, which then puts more work on those who do attend, would have a bigger impact on morale than having to share a room.

Again, I get the desire to have a private room. I much prefer it also. But if my biggest problem with a company is needing to share a room while on a trip, I think I'm working for a pretty good company.

It sounds like you are working for the right company.
Not everyone feels that way. Some would see a room share policy as not being considerate of personal space after work hours.

 

[nkereina]

It seems you're making the assumption other companies travel like yours. They don't. We have a group of 70(!) people travel to this event. 32 of them get hotel rooms. This project can't be done (to the level TPTB want it done) with one, two, or even a dozen employees. As far as impacting the morale, cutting the number of people going to these events, which then puts more work on those who do attend, would have a bigger impact on morale than having to share a room.

Again, I get the desire to have a private room. I much prefer it also. But if my biggest problem with a company is needing to share a room while on a trip, I think I'm working for a pretty good company.

I'm not assuming other companies travel like mine. But all companies have options, and if I were the Finance Manager, forcing people to room together would be my last budget cut. And as I said in an earlier post, while I don't think it's worth quitting a job over, I do think it takes some gall to require employees to do this. I bet the CEO isn't sharing a room.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

I was 19 years old when I lived in a dorm. A kid. I still would sleep in my car at concerts and ate Raman noodles out of a boiler pot. My roommate and I would decorate our dorm with the bottles of wine that we finished, and melt crayons down them to make them look cool. We had no issues walking around in our t-shirt and underwear. We would fight over lights being turned on when another one was sleeping. We would laugh at the people down the hall who listened to awful music. We had a black light and hung glow-in-the-dark stars on our ceiling. It was college.

I'm a grown-up now. This is my professional life. I have rarely shared hotel rooms with my own children. Since they were about 6 years old, they got their own adjoining room. I am not listening to my co-worker snore beside me, or pass gas in their sleep. I can't imagine thinking this is normal.