Serious Friendship issue need help now (Friends talking about killing her self)

[disneydance]

Ok so I need help on what to do in this situation...

Ok so theres this girl at my school who I have sat next to all year in english...
She was fine till about March when she started shedding stuff on to me, it started with she had a miscarriage that Summer(she's 14)
I kind of treated it like it was ok and we all make mistakes...
She apparently liked the fact I didn't call her any names and continued to tell me things...
In the last 2 weeks it's gotten crazier and crazier and I'm really freaked out
This girl goes through boyfriends like she goes through underwear she has a new one all the time and her break-up drama got old...
I guess it started with the her new boy friend giving her a codumn and saying
"You might need this for tonight"
She then informs me how much she loves to have sex and how it makes her feel good and special
What freeked me out about this is her new boyfriend had signed a commitment saying that he would not have sex before marriage...
I never heard if they did that or not but that was enough for me...
This girl in alot of ways is a player and guys know that she is and treat her like she is a player...
She doesn't like that perverted men are into her since the fact that she will litterally date anyone...
Well the next thing I hear is she met this guy on-line and thinks that he is the one for her, hears the thing she 14 years old and has never even met this guy before and is in love with him...
Then this girl all of a sudden started cutting herself and telling me how great it felt to let the pain go away...
When I heard that I had enough and told her we were going to the counselor or a teacher since she needed medical help immediately
She told me no of course and well I didn't want to fight her so I let it be...
Well its gotten worse then she apparently threatened to kill her self in front of someone the other day since her ex boyfriend didn't love her no more
It goes on like this... I seriously don't know what to do...
The other day at life groups I asked for pixie dust for her and all of my friends FREAKED out when they heard all the details of this situation and told me we were going to the counselor on Monday...
I told them that I didn't know if that was the right thing to do...
So our life group leader and a major mentor to me came back from getting her kids from somewhere and one of the girls ran up to her freeking out about it and then I had to tell her the story and she wasn't sure if she just doing it for attention and if it would be better to leave her alone or get her medical help...
I talked to the other mentor in my life today about it and she said don't risk it tell the counselor first thing on Monday but I have no idea what to do...
Since I don't know the counselor so I don't trust him 2 of my friends said they will come with me but I just don't know if thats what I should do?
Help what would you do if you were in my situation?
Thanks I'm really freeked out about what to do...

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Tell her parents, tell the teacher,tell her parents


Just make sure you get help from an adult

 

[ReelBigFish419]

honestly, you should probably post this somewhere a bit more professional but i'll try to give some help.

you need to tell her parents. they can get her the professional help she needs. i dont really think a school counseler could really help as its not their primary part of their job to deal with these sort of things so telling her parents would probably be better than getting her to a school counseler.

you need to try to take away anything she may use to hurt herself if you can, she most likely if not definetly try to find a way to cut again if she still does. i can tell you from experience that she'll try one way or another. i used to cut and i still get the urge to do it again sometimes because it made me feel happy when i felt like ****. just keep trying to prevent herself from cutting as she could end up killing herself in the process from cutting a vein or something.

also, sorry to hear about her situation. hope she gets the help she needs.

 

[bananda]

wow, im so sorry to hear that

you should definately get help from an adult. her parents need to know about this. i know fighting sucks but its better to have a little fight and know that she's getting help than for her to do something serious.

 

[Heffalumpy]

I agree with the others who have posted. You really need to tell an adult(parent, teacher, school counselor).

 

[disneydance]

Thanks for replying so quickly...
Heres the promblem with telling her parents,she claims they don't care about her from what I've heard...
I don't know if it's that true since her dad is a pastor but I don't know...
Also I don't know her parents whenever I hang out with her, her parents are never there or around
I think if we are going to tell someone the counsellor would be the best bet, or a teacher but the teacher is just going to tell the counselor...
We also don't want our names to get out which one of the adults said that before we tell the counsellor the information we would have to say that he would have to keep our names confidental no matter what....
But I don't know, maybe I would be more comtorable if I knew the counsellor and trusted him, since from what I've seen of him in the halls he kinda scares me...

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Thanks for replying so quickly...
Heres the promblem with telling her parents,she claims they don't care about her from what I've heard...
I don't know if it's that true since her dad is a pastor but I don't know...
Also I don't know her parents whenever I hang out with her, her parents are never there or around
I think if we are going to tell someone the counsellor would be the best bet, or a teacher but the teacher is just going to tell the counselor...
We also don't want our names to get out which one of the adults said that before we tell the counsellor the information we would have to say that he would have to keep our names confidental no matter what....
But I don't know, maybe I would be more comtorable if I knew the counsellor and trusted him, since from what I've seen of him in the halls he kinda scares me...

Do you know where her father is a pastor? Maybe you could go to his church and tell him, since he's a pastor Im sure hes good with dealing with situations. Even if her parents dont care about her (which Im sure is an exaggeration), they will care if she is trying to kill herself.


Even if your afraid your names will get out you have to tell an adult, your friend may kill herself which is way to serious to keep to yourself

 

[disneydance]

Do you know where her father is a pastor? Maybe you could go to his church and tell him, since he's a pastor Im sure hes good with dealing with situations. Even if her parents dont care about her (which Im sure is an exaggeration), they will care if she is trying to kill herself.


Even if your afraid your names will get out you have to tell an adult, your friend may kill herself which is way to serious to keep to yourself

I know the sister church where her dad is a pastor is a mile away from here...
But I don't know exactly where her dad is a pastor I know it's at least 30 minutes from her...
So I don't know how I would get up there to tell her dad...

 

[kaye loves dating]

Talk to elders, you can't resolve it on your own

 

[♥Ariel♥]

This girl obviosly needs help. I suggest if she wont see a counsler/teacher/parent/aunt then talk to one of them to get to talk to her. Honestly i might sound bad but i would go talk to her cousnler/teacher/aunt someoen you know SHE trusts. Honestly as i said its gunna sound bad but go to her parents maybe last becasue she it going to want to talk to someone she feels safe around and does not have to live with. Plus she obviosly knows what her parents think about her and her situations and A) they either gave up caring or B) Dont understand how to handle all of it. But if you tell her parents first she is just going to hear the same thing over and over again from the same people gets to a point were it has no meaning. Hope i could help

 

[Crazee Diser]

The girl is seriously having problems and I think since she is confiding in you she is somewhat reaching out. I do agree with the other posters here that these issues are more for one person to handle. I would try to get as much help as you can. If it isn't her parents then other adults.

 

[disneydance]

Thanks this situation just seems to get crazier and crazier
I decided to wait and give her one more chance before going and if anything else physco happen I'm going straight to the counsellor...
Well this girl decided to go back to her ex which she was threatening to kill her self over a few days back
She thinks he's the one again and just is "in love" with him
I'm happy that she's happy and all but this has created another major issue in my life which has to do with another friend...
This guy told this friend he had interest in her the day he broke up with this girl...
This girl is the sweetest girl you will ever meet and doesn't need this crazy drama in her life
I told this girl with a couple of other people stay away from this boy he's bad
She of course did not listen and started at looking at having a relationship with this person...
Well apparently she was taking too long to decide so he went back to dating this other girl
At first I was happy for her until I went on Facebook today(the other girl is home schooled...)
Well so I open up chat with her since she's a really close friend of mine...
I ask her how's it goin and she respond's back by saying TERRIBLE
That very second I knew what it was but was not sure how to react
She goes I HATE these two other people I was like Oh...
I was acting sympathetic but not sure what to say...
Tommorrow is going to have lots of drama since I was talking to another friend who is in the same exact posistion as I am and was like I don't know what to do
These 2 girls don't even know eachother and suicidal girl doesn't even know of this other girl from what I know of
Ah... if only the world listened to your advice grr...
This will bring for a interesting day for tommorrow
Advice appriciated I'm ready to break into tears since I have no idea what to do thanks

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Thanks this situation just seems to get crazier and crazier
I decided to wait and give her one more chance before going and if anything else physco happen I'm going straight to the counsellor...
Well this girl decided to go back to her ex which she was threatening to kill her self over a few days back
She thinks he's the one again and just is "in love" with him
I'm happy that she's happy and all but this has created another major issue in my life which has to do with another friend...
This guy told this friend he had interest in her the day he broke up with this girl...
This girl is the sweetest girl you will ever meet and doesn't need this crazy drama in her life
I told this girl with a couple of other people stay away from this boy he's bad
She of course did not listen and started at looking at having a relationship with this person...
Well apparently she was taking too long to decide so he went back to dating this other girl
At first I was happy for her until I went on Facebook today(the other girl is home schooled...)
Well so I open up chat with her since she's a really close friend of mine...
I ask her how's it goin and she respond's back by saying TERRIBLE
That very second I knew what it was but was not sure how to react
She goes I HATE these two other people I was like Oh...
I was acting sympathetic but not sure what to say...
Tommorrow is going to have lots of drama since I was talking to another friend who is in the same exact posistion as I am and was like I don't know what to do
These 2 girls don't even know eachother and suicidal girl doesn't even know of this other girl from what I know of
Ah... if only the world listened to your advice grr...
This will bring for a interesting day for tommorrow
Advice appriciated I'm ready to break into tears since I have no idea what to do thanks

Id still tell an adult what she threatened. As for the other drama, Id try to stay out of it, no offense but it really sitn your buisness, its for the 2 girls and the boy to straighten out for themselves.

But please tell an adult what the suicidal girl said

 

[bananda]

aw hun, this all sounds really hard. you really need to tell an adult about the suicide threats, and keep an eye on your friend if you can.
as for the other girl, be sympathetic and a good friend, but there's really not much else you can do about that you can do.
my PM box is open if you need to vent or anything

 

[Crazee Diser]

I know the sister church where her dad is a pastor is a mile away from here...
But I don't know exactly where her dad is a pastor I know it's at least 30 minutes from her...
So I don't know how I would get up there to tell her dad...

You could go to the sister church which is closer and I am sure they could get you the information and probably help you to contact him.