Serious fear of flying...Anyone else? Help!

[Mickey Fliers]

I bought my DH tickets to a Patriots game on Jan 2nd. I thought for sure he would want to take a guy friend and have a "guy" weekend. But, Nooooo, he has to be all sweet and wants to go away with me for the weekend (we live in FL). There is a problem with this scenario:

I have a serious phobia of flying. Truly get anxious just thinking about it. I would love to go away with my DH (although, we will be going away the next weekend for the Disney marathon, but I digress) but have no idea how to get over this flying thing. The kicker? DH is a Navy Pilot that flies 5 days a week. So what do I do? Suck it up and go? Leave the kids and cry the whole flight? Go to the doc and get Xanax and a ton of white wine? Or, back down and find him a friend to go with?

Help. What do you do to get over your fear of flying?

 

[hambirg]

You are sooo not alone. I never used to be afraid of flying. Seriously, I used to love the woosh of taking off. BUT ever since 9/11 I have a completely irrational fear of flying. I can't sleep for days before and I feel trapped in a tuna can the whole flight! I KNOW it's irrational. . .doesn't help one bit! I did mention it to my doctor the last time before I flew. You have to understand. . .I hate taking meds! I truly do! BUT she convinced me that this irrational fear and stress is not healthy for my body. She gave me a script for Xanax and convinced (begged) me to take it. So I did. . .and to be honest. . it was GREAT! I will never fly without it again! I was relaxed. . .I even slept during the flight. Sooo. . .my vote is to talk to your doctor and get a script for an anti-anxiety med. It is soooo worth it! And I'm not a pill person at all.

 

[DaisyLynn]

I am also scared of flying. This fear has gotten much worse as I've gotten older. I just force myself to do it, because I have realized that in order to go to cool places, I must fly to get there. My husband has no fear when it comes to flying and will not drive if we can take a flight.

Sadly, I have no advice. I always get on the plane, I always freak out at takeoff. If there is turbulence, I freak out some more. I do this quietly, of course. I don't want to cause a scene! I will say that I only fly JetBlue now, because of the television. I can watch reality junk television on VH1 or MTV and keep my mind off of other things. We plan vacations based on where they fly.

If I were you, I would go. Maybe someone else can chime in with some real advice.

 

[Shutterbug]

I love flying, its awesome!

Its the crashing part that scares me.

 

[froggygrrrl]

I hate flying. No, scratch that...I HATE flying. I always have; I hate heights, and I can't stand the loss of control (in the unlikely event that something could go wrong).

My husband flies frequently for work, but he also likes flying. He has no problems with it. That has helped tremendously.

For me, Xanax has worked wonders. I still feel a bit anxious in the days before I fly anywhere, but it no longer consumes my every thought. I take one Xanax (at 1/2 strength) before I get on the plane. It calms me enough that I don't feel overly anxious but doesn't knock me unconscious. It also helps that DH flies a lot for work. He can see when I'm nervous and just lets me know that everything is going routinely.

Can you talk to your DH, since he flies all the time? He probably has all the calming information you could ever need to hear. I still think that Xanax might be a good option for you, too. It's amazing what a reassuring voice (coupled with a pill) can accomplish.

Best of luck to you!

 

[SandrA9810]

I was gonna say "how are you afraid of flying with a husband that flies all the time??" That's just crazy.

If you're flying southwest, there's a ton of drink vouchers you can buy on Ebay for cheap. I don't know where the come from, but it's one way to stock up on the wine for the flight. Although I don't think it's a good idea with any drugs. There might be some like this for other airlines too.

Sometimes it's really cool to see big things from up high, but for the most part... I'd rather drive through it all. I don't have a fear of flying, I just hate doing it.

 

[natenapril]

I HATE flying but we just booked a flight to New Orleans from Alaska The worst part is I am flying with my 3 kids by myself.
For all of you who tried Xanax to help with the anxiety, did it make you sleepy? My DR was willing to give me something for the flight but I am scared I will be passed out

 

[hambirg]

Well. . .I have found if you take 1/2 about 15 mins before you board, it will relax you but not knock you out. Of course, I always take the second half after I board, and that DOES knock me out. . .but I like it that way.

 

[disfan07]

Xanax. If I dont take xanax, i cant fly. If I have a connecting flight, I take 1/2 before the first leg and 1/2 before the second leg. If it is a cross country flight and it's direct, I take the full xanax before I get on the plane. It knocks me out but I have to be completely knocked out to fly. If I am not sleeping, I will not make it through the flight.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I find your user name ironic given the issues in your post

Does your husband know you are afraid of flying? I would start by talking to him about it. I do think it would be good for you, and a good example for your children (wouldn't want to pass your fear on to them) if you can manage this. Talking to your doctor about something (like Xanax) to take is probably a good idea.

 

[mhsjax]

This is so common. I flew all the time when I was younger. Then I stopped, had kids that sort of thing. Then we had an opportunity to go out to CA. the thought of flying 6 hours terrified me, (I am now prone to panic attacks). I went to my Dr. and very sheepishly started talking about our trip and how I was nervous, and before I could even get up the courage to ask for something, she said you want some Xanax? Yeppers, I do. It was the least amount possible and it just took the panic emotion off. I would suggest this, but if you do, don't drink with it. And don't try to tough it out, you don't want a pinic at 30,000 feet. Just get the pill, tons of people do. She actually only gave me 10 pills.

 

[mhsjax]

I HATE flying but we just booked a flight to New Orleans from Alaska The worst part is I am flying with my 3 kids by myself.
For all of you who tried Xanax to help with the anxiety, did it make you sleepy? My DR was willing to give me something for the flight but I am scared I will be passed out

I got the .25 milligram. It didn't make me sleepy at all, and I am a whimp. Also you can do a trial run. Take on at home and see how it feels.

On a side note, and not directed at you, I don't know why everyone thinks that it is so funny that her hubby flies for a living and yet she is afraid, sometimes that makes it worse, you hear things.

YOu guys can go under profile and see what hubby does. lol

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm with you! I loved to fly when I was younger, pre-kids, but at some point in my life all my fears just became bigger than life. So, fear of heights and loss of control (like someone else mentioned), shifted into fear of flying. I will never fly again without something to relax me. The last time we flew was a total nightmare for me because we hit storms for about 75% of the trip home.

For those who take the Xanax, how long does it stay in your system and make you relaxed? I'm extremely sensitive to drugs, and I'd hate to be knocked out for our entire first day at WDW.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Thanks for the great advice. I would really like to go and spend the weekend with DH. I think I will just book it, get to the doc and hope for the best.

I know it doesn't seem like a rational fear to some, especially my DH, but it can be very consuming. DH can empathize with my fear, but he doesn't at all understand. I know the stats and logically I know it is fine. But then again, when is fear logical...well, I guess sharks and poisonous snakes.

Looks like Xanax will be my friend!

 

[BELLE1109]

I take Attivan to fly, couldn't get on a plane without it!

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

First of all DO NOT MIX XANAX AND ALCOHOL! This could be extremely dangerous so please pick one or the other to help you on the plane but not both.

I used to moderate a fear of flying group online. You are definitely not alone. Check out www.takingflight.us/forums for an awesome group online that can help (FREE of charge) and www.fearofflyinghelp.com. There is also a book that you can get on Amazon by Capt Ray Stark (a Southwest captain and former Air Force pilot) called "This is your Captain Speaking" that explains in simple terms why flying is safe and how airplanes work. Get it and read it cover to cover. You can also check out www.anxieties.com for some tricks on overcoming or controlling your anxiety about flying.

For most people the fear of flying stems from a lack of control over the situation. It helps to get to the airport early and ask the gate agent if you can meet the pilots. Tell them you are a nervous flyer and let them reassure you. As you know, pilots are people too. They aren't going to put themselves and their passengers into a dangerous situation.

Is your husband aware of your fear? Is he supportive or does he find it ridiculous?

 

[Mickey Fliers]

First of all DO NOT MIX XANAX AND ALCOHOL! This could be extremely dangerous so please pick one or the other to help you on the plane but not both.

I used to moderate a fear of flying group online. You are definitely not alone. Check out www.takingflight.us/forums for an awesome group online that can help (FREE of charge) and www.fearofflyinghelp.com. There is also a book that you can get on Amazon by Capt Ray Stark (a Southwest captain and former Air Force pilot) called "This is your Captain Speaking" that explains in simple terms why flying is safe and how airplanes work. Get it and read it cover to cover. You can also check out www.anxieties.com for some tricks on overcoming or controlling your anxiety about flying.

For most people the fear of flying stems from a lack of control over the situation. It helps to get to the airport early and ask the gate agent if you can meet the pilots. Tell them you are a nervous flyer and let them reassure you. As you know, pilots are people too. They aren't going to put themselves and their passengers into a dangerous situation.

Is your husband aware of your fear? Is he supportive or does he find it ridiculous?

Thanks so much for those links. I will definitely check them out. It really isn't the lack of control that bothers me. It is the "we really aren't supposed to be in the air and nothing is 'truly' holding us up" that bothers me.

DH has assured me until the cows come home. Seriously, he flies almost daily. For goodness sake, he teaches others to fly. He doesn't think I am ridiculous at all. He doesn't necessarily understand, but he is supportive. For him, he is thinking logically. I am, of course, thinking emotionally. Sometimes those two have a hard time meeting in the middle.

 

[tlbwriter]

I take Xanax and I strongly recommended it. Yes, it makes me sleepy, but I take a pretty high dose. I'm not groggy all day - as soon as it wears off, I'm alert.

 

[goofy4tink]

Thanks so much for those links. I will definitely check them out. It really isn't the lack of control that bothers me. It is the "we really aren't supposed to be in the air and nothing is 'truly' holding us up" that bothers me.

DH has assured me until the cows come home. Seriously, he flies almost daily. For goodness sake, he teaches others to fly. He doesn't think I am ridiculous at all. He doesn't necessarily understand, but he is supportive. For him, he is thinking logically. I am, of course, thinking emotionally. Sometimes those two have a hard time meeting in the middle.

Those are really good links....go there, use them. They will help you. It is extremely helpful to know what is going to happen, what sounds are going to be, when you are flying. I know I used to think I was going to die every time I flew when shortly after take-off I felt like I was floating. Well, come to find out, that's what is supposed to happen!! Now, I look for it on every flight.

My dd's are both very nervous fliers. My eldest dd, 34, tries to tell me that I just don't understand her fear...that I like to fly. Ah, no...not the case. I don't enjoy flying at all. But, it's the quickest way from point A to point B, so I do it. Sooooo much better than being trapped in a car with my dh for hours on end.
I tell my dd's to watch the flight attendents. If they appear to be normal, then all is well. Check this article out...it really is pretty funny and has some good stuff in it..
http://www.rd.com/home-garden/50-secrets-your-pilot-wont-tell-you/article186583.html

Go, try to relax. I'm with you. While I 'get' that it's all about physics and aerodynamics and planes should fly, it just doesn't make sense to me. I feel like a sardine in a big tube, just waiting to fall out of the sky. But when you stop to think of how many planes are up in the air, at any given time, it's amazing to realize just how few incidents there truly are.

 

[dis-happy]

Sooooo much better than being trapped in a car with my dh for hours on end.

Maybe you could loan out your dh to reluctant fliers.