September 2007 POP'ers??? MoJiTooooOoOoOOooo!!!!

[ANTSS2001]

Sorry peeps!!! I know.. I know.. don't look at me that way yes I am !!! But I have a good excuse...
A couple of death in the family not closed ones but still have to help with the service and all...

Going back and forth to see doctor for check up ~ right side of incision is not a happy healer but OK now and yesterday was the final check up at Employee Health, I am really going back on Monday the 28th!!!

I am in love !!!!!!! Someone introduced me to Prison Break and finished 2 season in less than 72 hours. And so I am announcing my undying love to Michael Scolfield . Also I have a crush !!! A blast from the past!!! Woohoooooooo Nancy that is the part I need to talk to you about!!! Hahahaha if you remember the last conversation we had on the phone... I think that was a shear panic and confusion...

And today I am getting ready to drive down to Virginia to be with the cutest boy in town! He is turning 3 tomorrow my nephew/godson and we're hanging out for the weekend. I just need to finish 2 more dozen of cookies and 2 pans of lasagna and then off I go.

Ok I need to read back to update me on whats going on with everyone... the marooon/green dress... the job application for Linda/SG... the trip for jetsss... and Bonzie ... hope all is well with your son

.... reading now...

I promise to do better starting next week when I go back to my normal (WHAT Normal) regular routine...

And yes did I tell you guys I have a crush???? HAhahahaaaaa

 

[Poohbear67]

Yep, Pooh, I am plumb worried about you overcoming your innate shyness and being able to tell that bridesmaid 'something-something'.

FYI, the deed has been done and the application has been filed. Whether or not there is an opening at the present time I have no clue but one thing for sure is they will never find anyone with more, or better references. I am counting on the kindness of my library friends.

Chest hurts like crazy and still feeling like keeling over though.

SG/Linda

your to funnie

 

[Poohbear67]

Hi girls Stopped in for a short hello & check up, see bridal stuff & new jobs-woohoo I miss you all.

Had some health issues but finally have results & they are GOOD! Our oldest DS(8) has been being bullied by a kid in school for over 18 months months now. We go to a Lutheran school & they have taken the "love & kindness" approach with the kid-guess what -not working. I've had the police there two times in the last week, quit my job & pulled kids out of school. They convinced us to return, assuring me the other kid would be isolated. On Monday he attacked with a pair of shoes, hitting G in the head. Last straw for me. I exploded, the other kid has been removed from school for now but will have to wait to see happens next. Have to stop, my head hurts now
Miss you Nanc & Linda, stay warm.

oh my gosh Bonz are your going to file a restraining order and file charges against this kid???
How is DS??

 

[Poohbear67]

Sorry peeps!!! I know.. I know.. don't look at me that way yes I am !!! But I have a good excuse...
A couple of death in the family not closed ones but still have to help with the service and all...

Going back and forth to see doctor for check up ~ right side of incision is not a happy healer but OK now and yesterday was the final check up at Employee Health, I am really going back on Monday the 28th!!!

I am in love !!!!!!! Someone introduced me to Prison Break and finished 2 season in less than 72 hours. And so I am announcing my undying love to Michael Scolfield . Also I have a crush !!! A blast from the past!!! Woohoooooooo Nancy that is the part I need to talk to you about!!! Hahahaha if you remember the last conversation we had on the phone... I think that was a shear panic and confusion...

And today I am getting ready to drive down to Virginia to be with the cutest boy in town! He is turning 3 tomorrow my nephew/godson and we're hanging out for the weekend. I just need to finish 2 more dozen of cookies and 2 pans of lasagna and then off I go.

Ok I need to read back to update me on whats going on with everyone... the marooon/green dress... the job application for Linda/SG... the trip for jetsss... and Bonzie ... hope all is well with your son

.... reading now...

I promise to do better starting next week when I go back to my normal (WHAT Normal) regular routine...

And yes did I tell you guys I have a crush???? HAhahahaaaaa

Way to go Timmy I will call you tonight and we can talk!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[janjandis]

Hi girls Stopped in for a short hello & check up, see bridal stuff & new jobs-woohoo I miss you all.

Had some health issues but finally have results & they are GOOD! Our oldest DS(8) has been being bullied by a kid in school for over 18 months months now. We go to a Lutheran school & they have taken the "love & kindness" approach with the kid-guess what -not working. I've had the police there two times in the last week, quit my job & pulled kids out of school. They convinced us to return, assuring me the other kid would be isolated. On Monday he attacked with a pair of shoes, hitting G in the head. Last straw for me. I exploded, the other kid has been removed from school for now but will have to wait to see happens next. Have to stop, my head hurts now
Miss you Nanc & Linda, stay warm.

Oh Bonz, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Nothing hurts more than seeing someone hurt our kids, makes you want to turn into a big old angry Mama bear. My kids also attended a religious school and I was shocked at the "un Christian-ness" of some of the parents. I hope everything works out Ok.

Slighly Goofy, I really hope you get the job!!!!

Ants! Glad to hear you're recovering nicely

 

[bonzarella]

Gosh, how I miss you girls Thanks for the support, DS seems to be coping alright. He keeps stuff bottled up though, I on the other hand wear my heart on my sleeve. Talked to the Chief of Police today & it went to Prosecutors yesterday. I haven't heard from them yet. If this kid would have just keep his hands to himself, none of us would be in this position. I just can't understand I don't like it when my "happy little world" get rocked
JanJan-I saw your ticker You don't need a tour guide by any chance
Timmy-think you can make to IN by way of VA? Stop and pick up PoohBear, Slightly G & I will make you feel 100% again. BTW, how are you going to finish eating all those cookies & pasta & still be able to drive
Linda, I am so jealous of your library opportunity. Oh, to be surrounded by all those books. I worked for WaldenBooks for years & loved it! Had my own personal library-go girl!I wanna see everybody again

 

[angwill]

Bonz,
Glad to hear about your health but sad to hear about your son. In 3rd grade we had to pull our son out of one public school and put him in another because of the same situation. It is sad but so much good came out of it because the other school was much more diversified and had much better teachers and DS didn't have problems with any of the kids there. So good things are yet to come for your DS. It is so heartbreaking though.

Pooh,
A child has to be 10 years old (at least in my state) before you can press charges and no restraining orders are available till they are even older. The kid who picked on my son had a really awful home life and in a small section of my mind I could still kind of feel for him despite everything. I was most mad at the school for not protecting my son while he was in their care. The best option to get the school to do something and to help the child if needed is sadly calling the state youth and family services about your child being abused while under the care of the school.

Ants,
So glad to hear your doing better and almost ready for work. Do your really have a crush on someone. Awsome but I need more details, please.
Enjoy your time with the most handsome boy in the world.

Jan,
WB! How are things going for you? One month and one week till your next trip I'm so jealous.

Angela

 

[bonzarella]

Bonz,
Glad to hear about your health but sad to hear about your son. In 3rd grade we had to pull our son out of one public school and put him in another because of the same situation. It is sad but so much good came out of it because the other school was much more diversified and had much better teachers and DS didn't have problems with any of the kids there. So good things are yet to come for your DS. It is so heartbreaking though.

Pooh,
A child has to be 10 years old (at least in my state) before you can press charges and no restraining orders are available till they are even older. The kid who picked on my son had a really awful home life and in a small section of my mind I could still kind of feel for him despite everything. I was most mad at the school for not protecting my son while he was in their care. The best option to get the school to do something and to help the child if needed is sadly calling the state youth and family services about your child being abused while under the care of the school.

Ants,
So glad to hear your doing better and almost ready for work. Do your really have a crush on someone. Awsome but I need more details, please.
Enjoy your time with the most handsome boy in the world.

Jan,
WB! How are things going for you? One month and one week till your next trip I'm so jealous.

Angela

You know, in some strange way I do feel bad for the kid. Split home, two simple parents...he really has to fight for a chance at a normal life. The teacher even says it all boils down to jealousy Not only has this been hard on DS but I am the school secretary and relationships are now strained. I also sit on our Board of Education, which has ultimate decision on whether a kid stays or goes. Naturally I will have to step out when it presented to the board. If I call an emergency meeting over this, the kid is in jeapordy of losing the therapy he is now receiving. There are also two younger sisters at the home, I pray they are not suffering from his anger. Soooooo not good, wish it would all go away.Thanks for letting me bend a ear

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Bonz, you are such a special lady to not only defend your child in such an awesome way but to have empathy for the other child too. I started volunteering at our local school, way back when, because I was having some of the same problems. I hate the way schools want to keep everything under cover. If these things were done after school they would crimes and should be so in school as well. Maybe seeing a few of the worst offenders walked out in handcuffs would greatly improve our educational system. You had to quit your job? I hope you find a better one and this all turns out for the best. Please tell you child that someday when he is grown and well educated he just might have the bully as employee.

Well, I had an interesting day yesterday. It started out with me going for another doctor's appointment and being sent to the hospital for tests. Decided since I was already in town and had invested in several gallons of gold, I mean gasoline that I would treat myself to a salad, tea and some quiet time and then I went to see 'Sweeney Todd". Now, I like macabre just as much as your next seriously disturbed individual but this was too much. Interesting, but TOO much. That is one 'musical' that I will not be buying.

When I got home, late, I had a message from my doctor. Not a good sign and especially not after office hours. I was told I had twenty minutes to get back to the hospital as the tests showed a possible blood clot in the lungs. Having almost died from bleeding to death many times I had a hard time contemplating a possible clot and it turned out I was right but it took many hours for that conclusion to be confirmed. I am still in pain and think it is leftover pneumonia that is hunkering down in an effort to stalk me though.

Ang, as you might suspect I drove myself to and from the hospital. I was finally able to contact my daughter and her husband came and took Tom to the basketball game with him and when I got home, after midnight, I was locked out of the house as Tom had gone to bed. He had had a hard evening. Poor dear.

SG/Linda

 

[angwill]

Bonz,
I am sorry if it sounded like I made light of what your son went through. When I reread my post it kind of looked like that but it was not what I meant.

Believe me I know how intense it feels when your DS is in a situation like that. I only wish our town was more proactive with bullying as well. We have an antibullying policy but it is a joke. Last year my son had a bigger kid lift him over the bench in the locker room and smash him into the wall. The gym teachers are were never in the locker rooms. Well when my son caught his breath and went after the kid knocking him over the teacher happened to walk in and catch my DS and proceeded to take him to the dean of dicipline without asking him why he did what he did. This is after earlier in the year having a child throw his glasses in the toilet and as son pulled them out he was mortified while the whole class laughed at him. The dicipline with an anti-bullying policy was to give these boys after school detentions. There were tons of stories of fights in gym and the locker room last year. Believe me that dean got a real earful when I heard what happened and I made it clear that I expected the gym teacher to be in the locker room watching the kids at all times from then on and if I ever found out he wasn't in there or if any child ever laid a hand on my son or his belongings again I would first call the police to press charges against the child and the school, then call DCFS, and lastly he would hear from my lawyer and not me because I would be holding everyone there including him personally responsible. This year more than halfway through the year there has not been one fight in any gym class and the teachers are in the locker rooms at all times now. DS feels safe and is no longer stressing out over having to go to gym class. You would think they would have thought of this as a solution on their own being the over educated people they claim to be (over paid to sit behind a desk and do nothing in my opinion) but if it took my wrath to protect these kids and most importantly my DS then so be it. lol I have come to the conclusion that my son is a bully magnet because he is very docile and an only child so some kids are jealous of him and don't fear him at all. Funny thing is all the years of telling him to use his words instead of fists he was relieved when I congratulated and gave him a big hug and kiss for defending himself for the first time from the kid who shoved him into the wall. Believe me I know your pain.

Angela

 

[angwill]

Linda,
That's it I have heard enough. Pack your bags and come live by me. I will personally be with you at your doctor visits, hospital visits, I will even take you to the movies. I am so sad for you. I would feel so lonely if I had to deal with a husband like yours. Did you at least try to call one of your daughters to see if one of them could be with you? I am serious let me know when you are ready to run away.

Angela

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Ang, bless your heart. I have had it so much worse in my life that this is almost funny. I had a nice, nearly new car to drive me to the hospital and have health insurance and that is far more than I had before. Funny thing is I am never lonely when I am alone. Do not get me wrong I love people but as you know spouses of men with my husband's problem live lonely lives and I am doing something about correcting it. I keep telling myself that it is not personal.

BTW, my daughter assures me that my life is entirely normal and I am far too sensitive. I am the one who drives other folks to the doctor's and such. One of my sisters was packed and ready to make the trip if I had needed it. Part of it is my fault as I do have folks I can call but I just plain hate to ask for help. If I get to the point where I have to depend on others I will move where I can call a cab. I intend to remain independent and a pain in the posterior to the end.

SG/Linda who thinks you are a very kind person, unless someone is messing with your child.

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Timmie, just what might normal be and are you sure that you would to get back to it? Maybe your normal routine, which I have a feeling is anything but either, but why lower yourself to normal?? Just a thought.

Are you glad to get back to work or is it just your bank account that is looking forward to it?

Whatever, I am glad that you are on the mend, mostly, and dropped in to let us know about it.

Sounds like you have put your time off to good use. Jail Break? Is that something like Grand Theft Auto?? Do you play the later one first and then 'graduate' to the other? Enquiring minds wanna know.

SG/Linda

 

[Poohbear67]

omg S/G you are now coming to move in with me and Mike thats final!!!!! I am sorry if this sounds rude but you would be better off by yourself plus you have all of us to take care of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S So what are they giving you for the blood clot and why aren't you in the hospital?????

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Pooh, as many folks who have offered to take me in I could follow Ben Franklin's edict and only stay three days with each and every one, and thereby not wear out my welcome. Thank you!

They did not find a blood clot. The one blood test came back high and my doctor, bless his heart, was erring on the side of caution. I believe he was worried when I done tole him that I have had two pails of paint and had not touched it with a brush. Not like me at all. They checked my heart too. I am on new meds but do not feel any change.

It only hurts when I laugh. Ouch! Ouch!!

You people are leading me to suspect that I am being 'Gaslighted' by those I love. Not that I had not already had a clue.

I am taking Tom out to eat tomorrow and to a movie but lest you fear that I am totally crazy both are right plumb near the hospital, if needed. Naturally I am going to see 'The Bucket List". Maybe I will post my personal Bucket List when I return.

I am headed to bed now and hoping I find a comfortable spot to ravel up that sleeve of care.

Love ya, SG/Linda

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Bonz. I done got so freaked out over your child being bullied that I plumb did not see you subtle reference to YOUR being sick or something. Do tell? I care.

SG/Linda

 

[angwill]

Well Linda you are welcome here anytime you need a break and Nancy I have first dibs. lol I am glad your sis was available if you needed her. I am mostly glad there is no blood clot. I have come to the conclusion that you must somewhat enjoy the challange of staying with your DH. lol Nothing better than a good challange in life, huh.

I suggest you send DH over to your daughters house telling her the marriage is over and he needs a place to stay. I wonder just how long it would take till she comes back begging you to take him back. lol

As for DS and the problems. Our district is known for these problems and I am not the only one who is fed up with it. I am just one of the few who doesn't feel I have to be friends with everyone at the school. Don't get me wrong DS has had some wonderful teachers who I deeply admired and trusted and his one principal where he tranfered to in 3rd grade till 5th was an exceptional man who really cared. He treated both the parents, students, and teachers with respect and he got the same in return which is, IMHO, the key to working with people in a school or anywhere else. He also knew when he needed to be firm and take care of situations that would arise. I worked in a Jr. high/high school with kids with learning and behavior differences as well as with all ages of mentally and physically challanged kids for quite a few years in the past myself. I was a chronic career jumper till we started our own company but working with kids is my real passion and I loved it. I learned from working with challenged kids what a powerful tool respect is and how it never works if it's one sided. The kids and parents treat you the way you treat them.

I do try to handle things calmly like the first incident; the humiliating time his glasses were thrown in the toilet. I kept telling myself they are just hormonal teens and it had to happen so he would learn something he needed to learn. He would become stronger and learn how not to treat others. All the while my heart was aching for what he had to go through and feel. I felt the school would deal with it appropriatly so the bullying would stop, after all they call it a bully free zone so they must know what to do. What did happen is the bullies just ended up targeting someone else because there was no real consequences given for their actions and no adult supervision in the locker room. I heard from other kids how they bragged that they didn't even get in trouble and thought it was funny. The ironic thing is that the principal he has in Jr. high was the same principal he had at the grade school I had him transfered out from because he was allowing the bullying to go on there as well.

It is when it continues and gets worse that I then have no problem saying my peace and exactly how I expect it to be solved so my son does not get seriously injured. My DS complained his back hurt for a couple weeks after the second incident and had to go see the doctor for it. If it took me speaking my peace and stepping on some toes to protect not only my son but to help the other kids have some boundries because an adult was there to see what they were doing then it was all worth it. From what I hear from DS and the kids at school this year it was well worth the confrontation and believe it or not I fear confrontation and avoid it as much as possible. There are just those times when a mother's gotta do what a mothers gotta do. lol

I keep counting the days till DS is out of middle school (We are now over half way through YEAH!!!. I can only pray that high school is better which I hear it is and when I would sub there years ago I really enjoyed it so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Anyway, this not about my stuggle last year this is about Bonz's stuggle and her DS feeling safer when he is at school from now on. I just want you to know Bonz that you and your DS are not alone. I know what you are feeling and am so glad you took a stand and made things better. Keep us updated on how things go and how DS is doing. I can only imagine how hard it must have been with your working with these people and having to confront the situation. I can also only imagine how the stress effected the health problem you were dealing with on top of it.

Take care everyone and goodnigh.

 

[bonzarella]

Ang, Thank you for all the support. Only sorry that you've had to go through this same thing. I really just want it all to go away but fear this will occur again in our school career. DS is only in the 2nd grade, he has a long way to go. Kids are just mean at times and I think Jr high is probably the worst. Keep swaying on home schooling but there are so many aspects they would miss out on. It is not all about academics.
Linda, I can be there in about 2hrs-you CALL me if I can help. You have both numbers so please use them. You have some pretty terrific "family" right here on the boards even if the others aren't so stellar. I had a mass in my left breast which had Dr & myself concerned. All had turned out ok, we have to monitor it though.
DH finally got back last night. My favorite gift he brought-Zebra Domes!
Forgot all my problems for about five minutes while eating
Off to church although I have not felt very Christian this week. Thanks again to all you, I am blessed to have you.

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

Ang and Bonz, it really is not that I 'enjoy' the challenge it really is that I have had it so much worse that this just is not nearly as bad on me as it might be on someone else. I have a warped sense of humor and some of the things I write about, that you and others might find alarming and appalling, I am smiling as I write them. I feel like I am adrift in a sea of lunacy sometimes with my family telling me that I am the one who has a screw loose. (Gaslight anyone?) I am not being beaten, denied the basics of life, AND have a very big house where I can hide out in. I cannot conceive that his life is too good either, even though he seems to think he has it by the tail in not having to lift a finger. That is what is killing him though.

Since years go by without being invited to visit my daughter's house (I think she thinks I think her house should be immaculate or some silly stuff) I sincerely doubt that she would take her dad(or me) in. My bil has started praising me to high heaven and offering to do a bit more for me after the wake up call that Tom might want, or if I should croak, need to move in with him full time. Tom is my responsibility, something about some silly oath I took many years ago, and so I trudge on and find smiles and irony where I may. I fear there are many such in this world and in so much sadder circumstances.

Whew, on the breast mass. Just make sure that it really checked out often no matter what any doctors say. It is not their chest. Women get put off sometimes and you know your body better than anyone else. Use some of that warrior attitude on your own behalf, please?

Zebra Domes do not interest me much but if someone brought me back Puck's Butternut Squash Soup and Flourless Chocolate Cake I would be their slave for life.

You are both so right about the school system. I think that much of the nonsense has to do with statistics and they are afraid that if they go 'out of house' it will appear that they have an unsafe school while other schools with worse problems would appear to be better. We have a small school system and everyone knows everyone else and things are handled pretty well but I can imagine that a larger school would be harder to deal with. I am with you on having adults in the locker rooms but you have to be careful what ones are there cause some of them can cause worse problems. We had a weird gym teacher who enjoyed watching girls fight. It is so hard to know when to raise a fuss and possibly subject your child to more pressures and when you need to make a stink. Been there, done that. I think kids like rules, both the ones who are being abused and the ones doing the abusing. They might not admit it though. Rules make life easier. I like rules. I am German.

One funny story that does not relate to you guys at all. My daughter came home from school with story after story of abuse when she was in grade school and finally I went to talk to the principal about it. Shortly afterward I got a call from her teacher asking that I come across the street to the school for a minute. She took me upstairs to a room with a window that overlooked the playground and I got a front row center seat to see how MY child acted on the playground. Shortly thereafter I took a volunteer position at the grade school where she knew I could be found at any given time and things greatly improved.

Off to see 'Bucket List". Hopefully I can hear it too as someone likes to talk through movies. Not me. I think I am feeling better today, I think. Better living through chemicals.

Have a wonderful Sunday and have some fun along the way. Life is too short not to laugh.

SG/Linda

 

[angwill]

Bonz,
We have lots of home school families in our area. There are groups of them that get together once a week to run a school like atmosphere at one of the churches in the area. They also do group field trips and sports to help with socialization. What I see most in home schooled kids is a complete innocence and gulibility that would worry me. For home schooling our state is very lenient and requires no check ups or testing they just require you to keep records and examples of work. You could always look into it just in case. Here is a link to where to start looking into the laws for each state http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp

I am set that if my DS has problems in HS I will pull him and have him do the states virtual school at home and take some college classes at our community college to get the interaction. Although he has a great group of friends and likes the girls already so I don't know if he would want that either.

As for the bullying, I think some kids like my DS give off a sense that they are not a threat and an easy target. My DS almost sets him self up for it in a way because they start usually with teasing like kids will do and he won't say anything or will say something totally stupid. The problem is he shows that he is upset so it makes them feel powerful so then anytime they want to feel that again they find him and target him again. It then keeps on till it gets out of hand and in our middle school hitting someone is cool to the kids. UGH!!!

I was fortunate when DS was younger that I had a friend who worked as a lunch room/playground monitor. She was the one who alerted me to what was going on then. I would park and watch what happened as well or would just show up and hang out with the kids and pretend not to be listening and watching. It finally got totally out of hand and my friend called me to let me know. The principal stood in the lunch room every day and watched my son get more and more isolated till everyone was afraid to sit by him for fear of being bullied too. I got the call from my friend and walked into the lunch room the next day to see my DS sitting all alone at a table and asked the principal if we could talk. He claimed that he never noticed him all alone and knew nothing about the bullying that is when I told him I felt it would be best for my DS to transfer to another school for a fresh start. It was the best decision I made for him and on the advise of the school psychologist who I talked to before I talked to the principal. I found out later that the principal was close friends with the main bully's parents. He is also not a confrontational kind of person so he turns the other cheek so to say. Unfortunatly, he transfered to middle school the year DS went into that school. I wish I knew the magic cure to give my DS the power to protect himself from the bullies but all I can tell him and his friends is to stand behind each other when bullied because groups can intimidate too.

I can imagine your health has been very stressful. I can't imagine knowing something foreign is in my body and being afraid of what it is. I am so glad you now know now that it is ok. That is one battle down and it sounds like the school situation should be over soon too. Good luck. We are here for you.

SG,
You are a strong woman that is all I can say. A goofy one but a strong one and I love your humor about it all. We try to look for the humor here too and it helps.

Glad your BIL is behind you and helping out now. Now you need to swallow your pride and call when you need time away. Remember asking for help can be a gift to others who will feel good about themselves that they helped someone. The worst they can say is no, right. I can relate though because I don't ask for help myself but my fear is the word no because I hate rejection.

What do you think your DD would do if you started showing up at her door for visits? I know I would love it if my mother would do that.