seperation anxiety in 3 1/2 yr old ????

[buzz for boys]

Hi Guys,
My dd is 4 in april and since xmas has been really clingy when it comes to going into preschool. She has been at the pre school for nearly 18 months and prior to this love dit and was settled.
This morning was the worst ever with the staff having to peel her off me and restrain her while she was csreaming after me with her arms out ???
They assure me nothing has happened there to make her like this and I feel like they are trying to lay blame on homelife - even asked me about my relationship with dh !! I really dont know what to do dd was a clingy baby and we had terrible issues with seperation but I thought we had overcome them years ago. My health vistor says we should ignore the tears as she feels its attention seeking but I know my dd and i know its not - even preschool said they tried that and it made it worse
Any one else have a similiar experience any advice appreciated.

 

[joolz1910]

My eldest two both did this in the second term of reception. They settled in well and then didn't want to go. I think it's normal that they want to be at home. They grew out of it eventually but there wasn't much I could do about it but leave them at school. I felt terrible.

Hopefully this will be short-lived for you too.

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks for the reply thats all i wanted to hear really that it was normal and dd is just being a drama queen !! Hopefully its a short lived thing !!

 

[joolz1910]

Fingers crossed for you. It might be worth asking them if she settles once you've gone. Mine were tearful then moody and then apparently completely forgot me!

 

[katiec]

My DS is nearly 21 now (not quite sure where the time went!) but i remember very clearly a day when he was at nursery, when he was around 3 1/2 ish.
My DS was no problem but as I was taking his coat off there was another boy around the same age who was creating merry he*l. Anyone would have thought they locked him in a cupboard with spiders the fuss he made as his mum took his coat off - crying/screaming/holding on for dear life - PPPLEEAASSEE DONT LEAVE ME I HATE IT - etc - you get the picture.
The staff kept saying he'll be fine when you go, but even I had my doubts and I was just watching it (he wasnt a newbie either).

Anyway his mum left before I did and walked down around 4-5 wooden steps and along the gravel pathway - so you could hear when she'd walked away from the building. As it became clear she wasnt coming back he IMMEDIATELY stopped crying, brushed his hands together and said
"well thats wound her up for the day"!!!! and went off any played with whatever was about that morning.
Little monkey!

I'm sure your DD is nothing like this, but i suppose it could be a case of once out of sight then out of mind? Once you leave she'll quickly move on to be interested in something else and will forget all about you until hometime?
How is she when you pick her up? Does she talk happily about her day etc? I'm no expert but I'm sure if she does then once she's settled in then she doesnt worry about you till hometime?

Dont worry - she/you will be fine and in the meantime

 

[Lizzybear]

I work in a nursery and i've noticed with a few of the children that age they have a bit of a 'crisis of confidence' and go teary and clingy when previously they would come in happily (all of them have been coming since they were babies) I'm surprised they felt it appropriate to ask about you and your DH's relationship, bit invasive I think! It's always passed in my experience and the upset has never lasted all day, though I understand it's distressing at the time. Personally I don't think it's necessarily attention seeking, just a part of growing up with them leaving the toddler phase.

 

[buzz for boys]

I work in a nursery and i've noticed with a few of the children that age they have a bit of a 'crisis of confidence' and go teary and clingy when previously they would come in happily (all of them have been coming since they were babies) I'm surprised they felt it appropriate to ask about you and your DH's relationship, bit invasive I think! It's always passed in my experience and the upset has never lasted all day, though I understand it's distressing at the time. Personally I don't think it's necessarily attention seeking, just a part of growing up with them leaving the toddler phase.

thank you so much that is the best way to describe dd at the moment "having a crisis of confidence " is exactly it and has made me feel much better that its not something bothering her but simply just a phase of growin up !!

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REPLIED MEANS A LOT TO ME THAT YOU SHARED YOURE EXPERIENCES

 

[Ware Bears]

and I feel like they are trying to lay blame on homelife - even asked me about my relationship with dh !!

As if you didn't feel bad enough already. I'm sure they meant well but ...........

for you that this is short-lived. I'd definitely ask if she settles once you're gone.