Separation Anxiety?

[becka]

The last 2 nights we have had trouble getting DS to sleep. He is usually the easiest kid in the world to put down for the night and so we are a little confused as to why he has started crying so much now.

He will just cry and cry until he sees one of us and then he will calm down after a few minutes but it usually starts up again when we leave. He also wakes up at night and starts crying when he used to just play and go back to sleep.

DH thought that maybe this could be separation anxiety although he has not shown any problems during the day (of course he also has not been to daycare since last Thursday and this is a very recent development - unfortunately he goes back tomorrow).

Any parents have any experience with this? I want to teach him good sleep habits (he has been so great until now) but it breaks my heart to hear him crying like that.

Thanks!

 

[cassie]

Becka, he is growing so fast now. He's also learning how to push the buttons. I know the feeling they instill at bed time. You've already had good sleeping habits with him, but this sudden fussyness can be upsetting. If you've established his bedtime at the same time everynight...then just put him down as usual and only go in to pat his back and reasure him your there but he has to go to sleep. It may take quite a few pats on the back. Don't get in the habit of picking him up, walking him, or giving him a bottle of juice or something. That can become a real hard habit to break.

I know it's hard to listen to him cry, but once you put him down for the night, that should be it. Be consistant, don't get him up for awhile or give him a bottle. He'll come around and maybe fuss 10 mins or so before he goes to sleep.

 

[Mskanga]

Becka I hate to sound cruel but when my kids started doing this I just made sure they were not feeling sick , but I let them cry, the first night they cried for a while , the second night they cried for 5 minutes , the third night I did not hear them anymore, they knew I would not pick them up. That's what worked for me.

 

[mickeyfan1]

Becka,

I read the spit up post and now this one, maybe you really need to get this sweetie to a pediatric gatsro specialist. It could all be reflux. I know my reflux always bother me right when I decide to roll on my side and sleep. (I have to go to the Dr myself for it). Maybe he is crying because he is in refux pain.

It is really hard to get the point accross that sleep time is sleep time, and babies are very good at figuring out how to get what they want, but still, I hope he is just being a baby and not sick.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

becka-Personally I do not believe in babies being able to manipulate their parents at such a young age. I also do not believe in CIO. How old is Nathan?
I do think MF1 has a good idea. If your son has had a regular sleep pattern and this is so sudden something is probably wrong. His crying is his only way to let you know that. It could be an upset tummy or maybe even his teeth. DD has a hard time sleeping when she is teething. Or it could even be that he just needs to know his Mommy and Daddy are there.
I would follow my instincts. If they tell you to pick him up and comfort him then do that. If you think nothing else is wrong and patting him works then do that.

Good Luck!

 

[MinnieGi]

I also agree with the mickeyfan1 and Jenn Lynn, this sudden sleep problem may very well have something to do with all of the spitting up. From your earlier post I read, it sounds like reflux to me. That just seems to be too much spitting up throughout the day to be normal. I would pursue this with your Dr. some more, Make sure you keep track of the times and approximate amounts of spitting up to show your Dr and also inform the Dr. of the sudden sleep problems and wakings at night.

I'm not sure how old Nathan is, but from his picture he still seems young. I also believe young infants cry out b/c something is wrong, not b/c they are manipulating you.

Best wishes

 

[Michelle]

Becka, I also think Nathan is just a little young to be hitting the classic separation anxiety age. That USUALLY shows up between 8 and 18 months and definitely is not just at night, it's in other daytime situations as well.

When my DD was around 9-10 months she had the bedtime issues and we did have to let her cry it out a few times, but at Nathan's age I think I would be a little more suspect of other causes.

{{{HUGS}}}, I hope he gets to sleep easier tomorrow!

 

[becka]

Thanks everyone.

Believe it or not but Nathan is almost 8 months old now and I did a little reading last night and this type of crying at night was mentioned in the books.

I really don't think he has a problem with reflux even with all of the spitting up. He does spit up a great deal but it is not like he will spit up a whole bottle (more like a tablespoon or two) but it does cause a big mess. He never appears to be in any pain. He is usually smiling and laughing before and after he spits up. He is gaining weight well, etc.

I do appreciate all of your advice. This just started the last few days and only at bedtime/night so I will be interested to see how he does this morning at daycare. The first night he did this I went to him pretty quickly because I was afraid he might be in pain, etc. but whenever I would go to him and pick him up he was immediately all smiles. I don't think it is necessarily a manipulation thing but I was just wondering if he might be afraid to be by himself at night.

 

[Mskanga]

Becka, that is exactly what I did with my oldest in the beginning, she would cry , I would go to pick her up thinking she was sick....then she would smile and start playing, oh no, at 8 pm you are going to sleep. It took 3-4 days for her to realize that nobody would go to pick her up, then she would entertain herself in the crib until she fell asleep. I don't know you but I knew ( and still do ) the different crying between a child that doesn't feel well or is just whining.
Bottom line is make sure he's not sick , if he isn't then make him realize that this is time to go to sleep and stick to it, if he forms bad sleeping habits now, it will go on later on. JMHO

 

[Serena]

Becka, if you can stand it, go make sure he's alright and do not pick him up. Make sure there is nothing wrong like the diaper and such, but try very hard not to pick him up. Lay your hand on him, sit in a rocker and hum, to let him know you are there.
It sounds like he just wants company, your company. But trust me, you don't want to get started on this road.

I was tooo easily played by both girls. I could not stand to listen to them cry and I held them whenever they did. I came close to hurting my husband because he held me back while the first one cried for over 20 minutes. I couldn't stand it and finally convinced him he'd better let me go.
I was a little nuts from lack of sleep, do to my obsessive problem with this.