Sending a sick kid to school -- how do you decide? (Update: she stayed home)

[Princess Dot]

I hope the OP's child is feeling better.

I just think it is kind of harsh for all that keep repeating "kids first, work second" as if the OP is saying she WANTS to go to work, but "jeeze these darn kids are making me stay home!"

It is obvious that she would prefer to stay home, but sometimes by going to work you are putting your kids first, in that the $$ you are earning is paying for the food, shelter, clothes, etc. It doesn't sound like she is going off to work for the fun of it!

Having said that, I am usually the one on the other side of the spectrum, complaining about parents that send their sick kids to school! But then again, we have a very large percentage of SAHMs, so it not really because the kids can't stay home, it is just some parents are clueless about when a child is too sick for school. Plus these days it seems that the kids miss a lot even when they miss one day.

I really feel for the OP. It is hard since her daughter is so little. If that was a 10 year old or so, I would probably give her some motrin and tell her to stick it out for the day because I had to go to work. Sometimes that is just the way it goes. If you lose your job that could have a more negative impact on your child than having to tough it out at school for the day.

There really is no easy answer to this kind of problem.

 

[Stacey2grls]

This is the exact reason I am a SAHM. I have no backup to watch my kids if I work and they have to stay home because of being sick. It has been a real financial hardship with only one income. When they are older and hopefully get sick less is when I will feel comfortable working.

 

[NMAmy]

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. DD is cuddled up on the couch in her jammers watching SpongeBob. DH is coming home at 10:30, and I'll work 11-7 today. Hopefully by staying home today we can head this off at the pass, and we'll be back on schedule tomorrow.

It sounds like you found a good compromise, Barb. It's always hard--it seems like we working moms are always feeling guilty about the kids or work, one or the other. I hope she's feeling better soon.

I've always been lucky in that I've worked at places with family sick leave. I can take half of my sick days to care for family members--children, spouse, or parents. I'm also lucky that I've worked for people who are also parents so there hasn't been any consequences for having to miss work due to family illness. Of course I feel guilty about it--and I'd do as much as I could workwise from home.

 

[Barb D]

It sounds like you found a good compromise, Barb. It's always hard--it seems like we working moms are always feeling guilty about the kids or work, one or the other. I hope she's feeling better soon.

I've always been lucky in that I've worked at places with family sick leave. I can take half of my sick days to care for family members--children, spouse, or parents. I'm also lucky that I've worked for people who are also parents so there hasn't been any consequences for having to miss work due to family illness. Of course I feel guilty about it--and I'd do as much as I could workwise from home.

I get unlimited sick leave for myself (and it's a good thing, because with that 13 day migraine and a stomach virus I ended up using 48 hours of it just last month!), but have to use vacation time for sick kids. Or make up the time. Fortunately I can make up hours in the evening or on weekends...but last month I ended up being sick on the weekends, too, so still couldn't make up all of the sick kid hours.

DH can use sick leave for sick kids, but his boss gives them a seriously hard time about doing it.

In any case, DD6 is feeling much better now. She had a good nap this afternoon, so I'm glad she stayed home. I'm still at work (making up for being home this morning).

 

[golfgal]

DS's new job has a "personal time" policy where your 'vacation' days are what ever you need them for be it vacation or time off for a sick child. I think that is a good idea.

His old company he had enough years and enough extra unpaid hours that if he had to stay home for a sick child, which I think he did once, he didn't even count it for anything.

 

[lilostitch]

DD6 was coughing all night, has a very runny nose, and a 99.3 temp. She feels lousy, and my Mommy instincts say to keep her home. BUT I really need to be at work today, DH has a hard time getting off for sick kids, and Grandma had the nerve to go to Florida to visit her other grandchildren. DH will take off if he has to, but he's concerned that she'll get worse and he'll have to take off tomorrow, too. He thinks she should just go today. According to the school system, she could go to school today.

What would you do?

Could you do 1/2 day your husband do the other 1/2?

 

[Lanshark]

I teach school. I've been home now for several days with pneumonia. I'm not positive I caught the bug I have from a child at school but I'm pretty sure of it.

Parents should use common sense. You are putting your own child, other children and teachers at risk by sending an obviously sick child to school.

 

[shortbun]

I just feel so strongly about not sending sick kids to school. This is exactly what makes other kids get sick. Many serious viruses do not have a high fever. My son had strep without a fever last time. This coughing virus is major! If this is her first day of this, she is contagious as all get out. I sure hope she stayed home. I found a college kid(daughter of a friend) to stay home with my son the last time. She hung out and he played video games. She made some money and so did I. You need a backup to your backup.

 

[daisyduck123]

Parents, if you know your child does not feel well...please keep them home.

I have sent so many students straight to the nurse when they say, "My mommy knows I'm sick, but made me come to school".

These kids don't lie & will rat you out every time.
They even tell us that mommy gave me some medicine & then made me come. Well, by lunchtime, that Tylenol wears off.

 

[maps]

You must all have really healthy kids!

If I kept my kids home everytime they had a cough or runny nose, they would never be in school!

Winters are rough. There will be lots of viruses invariably going around. Common sense goes a long way to determine who should stay home and who shouldn't.

For what it's worth, I dropped my daughter off at school at 8:35am feeling OK. 8:45am the school called to let me know that she had a temp of 99.9 (the cutoff for staying in school was 100) Since i know my daughter well, I knew she would go beyond that and quickly. By the time I left work and picked her up she was 104.4. What can you do? Gotta love viruses.

 

[Barb D]

Parents, if you know your child does not feel well...please keep them home.

I have sent so many students straight to the nurse when they say, "My mommy knows I'm sick, but made me come to school".

These kids don't lie & will rat you out every time.
They even tell us that mommy gave me some medicine & then made me come. Well, by lunchtime, that Tylenol wears off.

Daisyduck, I understand where you're coming from...but what if the SCHOOL'S policy says that if they're temp is under 100 they can/should be in school?

What is your school's policy for when to keep kids home? (We're in MD too, BTW.)

 

[daisyduck123]

Daisyduck, I understand where you're coming from...but what if the SCHOOL'S policy says that if they're temp is under 100 they can/should be in school?

What is your school's policy for when to keep kids home? (We're in MD too, BTW.)

We don't have a policy that states a number...but I do know that parents get called for "99.something". We have nothing in our handbook that states that kids should be in school for a low fever. Being in school with a low fever is ridiculous....it could go up at any time.

 

[gr8ful4Him]

You must all have really healthy kids!

If I kept my kids home everytime they had a cough or runny nose, they would never be in school!

Winters are rough. There will be lots of viruses invariably going around. Common sense goes a long way to determine who should stay home and who shouldn't.

I agree maps!
FWIW, My feelings are this. I'm trying to teach my ds (dd isn't in school yet) responsibility. When you are in school, that is "your job". I believe in going to work every day, because it is my responsibility, Likewise, going to school is the student's responsibility. If the illness is something that I would go to work with, then you better believe that my son will be going to school with it.