Semi non Disney related, advice on inlaws

[GoingSince1990]

On the other hand, I bet you haven’t been troubled by poltergeists or any other kind of malevolent supernatural visitations since the sprinkling of the Holy Salts. Just saying.

 

[TCRAIG]

I guess I’m in the way way minority here - cause if this happened to me - I’d just roll my eyes and laugh it off...and then make DH clean it up cause it was his mom...and I wouldn’t let it influence any other plans going forward - although I would check her luggage and remove any salt next time!

 

[stephk1981]

Sounds like she's been watching too much Supernatural.

I would just clean it and leave it alone. If they bring up visiting again next year make it a condition that she leave her salt at home.[/de Q]
Made me laugh!

 

[stephk1981]

On the other hand, I bet you haven’t been troubled by poltergeists or any other kind of malevolent supernatural visitations since the sprinkling of the Holy Salts. Just saying.

I guess I’m in the way way minority here - cause if this happened to me - I’d just roll my eyes and laugh it off...and then make DH clean it up cause it was his mom...and I wouldn’t let it influence any other plans going forward - although I would check her luggage and remove any salt next time!

I probably could if DH actually was the one cleaning it up ....no such luck . He is working 7 days 12-14 hours each day for a three month period

 

[stephk1981]

@Tink_83 Part of me wants to see the look on the parish priest's face if MIL ever relates how the salt was disbursed....

@stephk1981 Someday I think this might be funny...like in the MIL story contest. I mean this even tops when my friends MIL moved her entire kitchen around "to make things better" when she was at work.

Lol.....I am hoping this is the last of the eccentric MIL episodes for us. I hope we will be laughing this off by Christmas!!! Thanks for lightening up the mood

 

[stephk1981]

I, too, have a MIL who has no boundaries, so to speak, and over the years DH and I have just had to set up our own boundaries that we don't allow her to cross. It took some time to set these boundaries and DH did stop speaking with her for a while, but we are all on speaking terms now and actually enjoy each others company since we do not set up situations where the risk of her crossing a line might arise. In your situation, a boundary might be not allowing her to stay in your home for the time being. I certainly wouldn't want to spend money to take her on a trip in the near future. I actually do think your DH should discuss this with her to let her know that the gesture was not appreciated and caused you a gigantic headache. If she would like to "bless" you and your family, that's a very sweet thought, but there are plenty of ways to do it that won't cause a mess in your house. As PP mentioned, she must have known what she was doing was not going to go down well - she did it, didn't tell anyone and then tried to get out of town without having to face a confrontation. I wouldn't just "sweep this under the rug". If it isn't addressed with her, she will do something like this again.

I completely agree, I love MIL, and if she apologises I can forgive and move on...but we need to set some boundaries before they visit again. They were last here over independence day week 2018. She asked for ibuprofen one day, I told her it was in our medicine cabinet in the master bath. The next morning I went to take my birth control pills, and it was gone. I didn't know what happened, asked my DH, he had no clue. After I told DH she had been in there to get ibuprofen he approached her, she admitted to throwing away 2 and a half pill packs. It was a 3 month prescription that cost us $287.00( formulary, the generic was giving me headaches.) She didn't even apologise then, just said Catholics do not take bc. I completely realize this, but after surprise DD1 at age 36, that is up every 15 minutes all night every night....I am tired so DH and I decided together that taking it was the best option for us. DH had a long chat with her on that visit....we obviously need some definitive boundaries that aren't set yet.
I am happy to hear that all has worked out for you, DH and his mom! I think/ hope we will get there one day too

 

[QueenIsabella]

You have my sympathies! In our family, my mom was the crazy Catholic, but I think you've got me beat. Never thought I'd say that. I suspect a kid or two of mine has been faux-baptized behind my back, but I can overlook that.

You have every right to be upset. Cleaning one room a day seems like a good solution. I would leave it to DH to deal with his mother. Definitely set some boundaries for any future trips--including that they allow you (or Dh, if that's more palatable to them) to check their luggage for salt. It needs to be made perfectly clear to them that she overstepped, it was rude and disrespectful, and it won't be tolerated a second time.

She owes you an apology, but I wouldn't hold my breath. If she didn't think it was wrong, she wouldn't have done it on her way out the door, or lied about it. That said, try to remember that she's acting from a position of wanting to bless/protect your family. Doesn't make it okay, by any stretch.

Once you're done cleaning, try to see the humor in this--you have officially made it into the "Crazy MIL Hall of Fame". Not many people could top you! She makes my (clinically diagnosed) crazy mother look sane and rational--no small feat!

 

[stephk1981]

I’m still trying to figure out what the priest told them about how to use it! Proper instruction is needed when they revive the old practices, specifically to prevent miss use like this! Although I’ll say I’ve never been woken up at 3 am to say prayers. I do get my fill of the rosary when we visit them though. But I do think she may even be more devout then my parents- and I’m the oldest of 8! I’ll say a prayer for you - and again good luck.

8!! Bless your parents. I'm barely holding it together with two thank you!!!!

 

[stephk1981]

You have my sympathies! In our family, my mom was the crazy Catholic, but I think you've got me beat. Never thought I'd say that. I suspect a kid or two of mine has been faux-baptized behind my back, but I can overlook that.

You have every right to be upset. Cleaning one room a day seems like a good solution. I would leave it to DH to deal with his mother. Definitely set some boundaries for any future trips--including that they allow you (or Dh, if that's more palatable to them) to check their luggage for salt. It needs to be made perfectly clear to them that she overstepped, it was rude and disrespectful, and it won't be tolerated a second time.

She owes you an apology, but I wouldn't hold my breath. If she didn't think it was wrong, she wouldn't have done it on her way out the door, or lied about it. That said, try to remember that she's acting from a position of wanting to bless/protect your family. Doesn't make it okay, by any stretch.

Once you're done cleaning, try to see the humor in this--you have officially made it into the "Crazy MIL Hall of Fame". Not many people could top you! She makes my (clinically diagnosed) crazy mother look sane and rational--no small feat!

I believe that too, she isn't a mean person...and always nice to have someone looking out for your family. Yes, even if it's uncomfortable I think DH needs to set boundaries with MIL before they come visit again! Thanks for sharing

 

[Dismama2boys]

I completely agree, I love MIL, and if she apologises I can forgive and move on...but we need to set some boundaries before they visit again. They were last here over independence day week 2018. She asked for ibuprofen one day, I told her it was in our medicine cabinet in the master bath. The next morning I went to take my birth control pills, and it was gone. I didn't know what happened, asked my DH, he had no clue. After I told DH she had been in there to get ibuprofen he approached her, she admitted to throwing away 2 and a half pill packs. It was a 3 month prescription that cost us $287.00( formulary, the generic was giving me headaches.) She didn't even apologise then, just said Catholics do not take bc. I completely realize this, but after surprise DD1 at age 36, that is up every 15 minutes all night every night....I am tired so DH and I decided together that taking it was the best option for us. DH had a long chat with her on that visit....we obviously need some definitive boundaries that aren't set yet.
I am happy to hear that all has worked out for you, DH and his mom! I think/ hope we will get there one day too

WOW. This is the bigger issue, I think. If she feels comfortable crossing that line, I would not have her back in my home. That’s astonishing and very upsetting.

 

[amberpi]

I have firm boundaries these days for folks. I wouldn't let a repeat happen. She's an adult, she knew exactly what she was doing, so she would not be welcome back in my home.

Sorry this happened to you. The woman sounds like she needs an asylum and I wouldn't want someone like her around my kids. You are sweet to even consider allowing her back.

 

[tinkerjo]

I would be WAY mare upset about the birth control pills!!! ( I had my last at 37 so I can relate but he was the perfect baby)I think everyone has a crazy MIL, but mine was mean and crazy. I had to quit letting her watch my kids, even for a minute. Maybe family trips would be better since you get along. (She won’t be in your house)

 

[Magical2017]

That was really rude of them! If you don't want a rift and don't want to clean it, perhaps hire a service yourself. If you can afford to take them on a surprise trip to Disney, you can use some of the money to clean and maybe postpone the trip.

I would definitely get my own hotel room and make sure they had no access to my room while vacationing together!

 

[crazylady]

Yes, DD1 does live with us lol. DS10's room, DD1 room, DH and my room, the office room, and our guest room...those were the only rooms she ' blessed'. DD has eczema and I probably sounded crazy but called her dermatologist today to see if she would have an outbreak if she came in contact with a large amount of salt. I agree, the more I think about it, I am thinking surprising them with a paid for Disney trip isn't happening....maybe in a few years when I get over it. Thanks for your suggestions!

Now I can't help but wonder what kind of salt she used... Regular iodized salt? Sea salt? Something tells me it wasn't Kosher salt.

 

[Magical2017]

Okay I just read about the birth control. Nope, they can stay in hotel next time. Taking your things from your home breaches trust. Did she do this due to her religion, as well? Didn't the Pope say birth control is okay? Either way, she has no right to take away your birth control for any reason whatsoever.

 

[Hikergirl]

I would just clean it up myself, no need to call in a pro.
I adopted some cats who ended up having fleas, sprinkling salt (and baking soda) on the carpets is a natural flea killer so I did that everyday for about 2 weeks. It didn't draw in any bugs, and thankfully there was never a flea infestation.

Sprinkling salt everywhere, and lying about where combined with the BC thing would mean that she was no longer welcome to stay in my home. What an intrusion, and taking upon herself to throw out your medication. In fact after that there wouldn't have been a chance for her to throw salt around because I wouldn't have allowed her to stay.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I would just clean it up, and I do like the one room a day idea, that way it isn't too overwhelming. DH would be having a talk with her (his mom) to inform her that they would not be allowed to stay in my house again especially considering the bcp incident, and we would not be taking them on vacation (if they knew about it). No need to cause a big scene (although I have a bad temper, so I probably already would have), but she is an adult and has proven that she can't behave like one. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and accept the consequences, which are whatever you and your husband decide they are.

 

[Calee]

woah woah woah. The pills thing. Stealing from you, shaming you, messing with your medical needs and decisions and again imposing her religion on you IN YOUR OWN HOME. Nope. Not welcome back. Period. Hotel only. What in the world has given her the impression that she has these rights in your home?

 

[QueenIsabella]

Okay, the birth control thing is beyond the pale. Why would anyone think it's okay to mess with another person's medication? Some women use the Pill to regulate their periods, but in any case, it's nobody's business but you and your DH, if you choose to use birth control. I'm kind of surprised that you let her back in your home after that stunt.

I will reiterate, you have to be up for some kind of "Most Bizarre Mother-in-Law" prize. I hope you will soon be able to see the humor, because it's either laugh or cry. Also, be grateful that your DH is relatively normal.

 

[runwad]

How old is this MIL??