Selling "Exercise Offset Credits"

Disneefun

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
2,204
I've come up with a way to fund my racing habit. (Please note this is TONGUE IN CHEEK, I'm not serious...Well, maybe a little ;) ) It's an idea I came up with on my LR Sat.

Here's the story: In my neighborhood, very few people exercise. I am the only one out there 7/365. Yet, people will be outside in their yards, sitting on their porches, driving by in their cars, etc. and see me go by -- during training season they see me go by a lot! Anyway, they always say things like "Wow, you're so inspiring, wish I could do that," or "Hey, do a mile for me, wouldya," or "I'd love to do what you do, I don't have the time" or "It's so great that you exercise faithfully...I should," and many other variations on "Coulda, shoulda, and woulda -- but it's great that you're out here." Of course, I'm always thinking "Well, then, go buy some shoes and get your butt out here," but that's another story.

So, to fund my racing, I'm going to steal an idea from the environmental groups that are selling "Carbon Offset Credits" where you ("you" referring to anyone, not any specific person here) pay into a fund that goes to environmentally friendly causes, while you continue to drive the gas guzzling SUV. It's supposed to make people feel better/less guilty about polluting the environment. All you have to do is send money and your guilt goes away -- no action or lifestyle change required on your part. Anyway... that's how it's supposed to work.

My idea is to sell the people in my neighborhood (and possibly branch out beyond -- with a national lack of exercise problem the options are unlimited) "Exercise Offset Credits." People will pay me to do their exercise for them. Since I'm putting in way more than the USDA recommended hours per week, I'll sell my excess. In return, I'll put their names on my racing shirt and when the Gallup Poll people call or whoever to ask about my exercise habits, I will tell the ugly truth about how many hours I put in, thereby raising the national average and letting the slackers off the hook.

Then these people can feel less guilty about sitting on the sofa while I run by, confident in the knowledge that they've paid into a fund, no direct action is required on their part, and their exercise is being taken care of for them.

I figure it'll at least pay for some race registrations and shoes!
 
Boy. You have some nice neighbors. The only thing that I hear when I run is a horn followed by, "get out of the road, a$$hole!"

I'd go for it. It seems like something that would catch on.
 
Dude, you are surely "YARC" material.

By the power infested in me by Queen Judy:snooty: , Beautiful and merciful Ruler of the Royal Court of "YARC". I hereby give you a "YARC" title, henseforth you will be known as, "The Excess", protector of the spoiled rotten. Now bow to the Queen.

Daqve:hippie:
 
Dude, you are surely "YARC" material.

By the power infested in me by Queen Judy:snooty: , Beautiful and merciful Ruler of the Royal Court of "YARC". I hereby give you a "YARC" title, henseforth you will be known as, "The Excess", protector of the spoiled rotten. Now bow to the Queen.

Daqve:hippie:


Oooh. I always wanted a title! Thank you. "The Excess" -- I sound like a rock band. :rockband: I love it!

But one minor gender correction... I'm a "Dude-ette," not a "Dude." ;)
 

Dave - I was thinking the exact same thing when I read it! Thank you for bestowing on my behalf. :snooty:

"Dudette" - It sounds like a great plan! :thumbsup2 However, your "Well, then, go buy some shoes and get your butt out here" idea is probably better for all concerned. However, we know THAT won't happen. :rolleyes2
 
Dave - I was thinking the exact same thing when I read it! Thank you for bestowing on my behalf. :snooty:

"Dudette" - It sounds like a great plan! :thumbsup2 However, your "Well, then, go buy some shoes and get your butt out here" idea is probably better for all concerned. However, we know THAT won't happen. :rolleyes2


Judy we need to nurture her. It's not often we find someone who makes even us look normal.:rolleyes1


Dave:hippie:
 
Boy. You have some nice neighbors. The only thing that I hear when I run is a horn followed by, "get out of the road, a$$hole!"

:lmao: :lmao: You almost made me choke when I read this. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day, and I'm not sure why it struck me so funny. Thanks for making my day!
 




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