Second baby- baby shower?

[Tarheel Tink]

My friend and co-worker is due in a few weeks with her second child and I have gathered from talking with her that she has everything she needs from first child and gifts from family (girl this time, boy before). Another co-worker asked if anyone was going to host a baby shower for her and I told her not that I know of- just baby gifts as we see fit.
I was under the impression that a baby shower was usually for a first born to get the family set up. Was I wrong?

 

[Ohiodislover]

I think it depends.

Time between the 2 babies is a factor. If Mom and Dad are starting over after several years, they may not have everything.

I know for myself, my family didn't have another shower for me, but rather just gave gifts. My co-workers, gave me a shower with both babies.

 

[phragmipedium]

I really think this is regional. In my area (Oregon, and what I've experienced from other friends in the Pacific Northwest) there are generally baby showers for each baby, though most of them are smaller gifts/clothes/carseat for "repeat" babies. Unless there's been a long time in between babies, the mother doesn't have close friends/siblings with bigger things to hand down, etc.

I see no problem with it. I don't think just the firstborn should have a celebration. I think it's perfectly acceptable for repeat moms who have everything they need to just have a celebration and hold the gifts. I know "shower" typically means gifts, but I've been to gift-free baby showers that just kept the same name for lack of a better term, I think. I never knew that repeat baby showers were considered tacky in some areas until I saw online threads about it. And it still doesn't bother me, someone who's pretty strict on wedding etiquette (and things like registry cards in invitations, etc).

 

[pfishgirl]

I think it depends.

Time between the 2 babies is a factor. If Mom and Dad are starting over after several years, they may not have everything.

I know for myself, my family didn't have another shower for me, but rather just gave gifts. My co-workers, gave me a shower with both babies.

Agreed.. Time between the babies, Sex of the child, and if the children share the same Father..

A 2nd child may not have the same father as the first so his family would get to join in the celebration for their child

 

[Tarheel Tink]

This is different sex, same father/husband, and 2 years between babies.
I had no idea; thanks Dissers for setting me straight!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

So funny this came up... I NEVER knew there was a rule about not having a shower for subsequent babies until I started the DIS... lol. My last 2 are only 13 months apart and although they are opposite sexes, I said no shower, cuz then I'd just feel stingy (never would have thought that way before DISing tho)... but seems some want to throw a shower for me... so who knows...
I definitely don't need AS much, just pink vs blue

 

[Desnik]

I had a baby shower for both my kids. But, they are 5 years apart and a girl, and boy. By the time DS came around I had no baby stuff at all, not even a crib!(it got ruined in storage) So, for me a second baby shower was a must. I do have to admit that in my family it is very common to have baby showers for every baby. But, I think that is just because my family loves any excuse to have a party!LOL

 

[dzorn]

We don't see many showers for a second baby around here. Not unless it is a long space between children. But the close family will usually buy the baby a gift when it is born. If the children a going to be fairly close in age I would think they would reuse the big ticket items so no need for a shower really.

Denise in MI

 

[aprilgail2]

We don't see many showers for a second baby around here. Not unless it is a long space between children. But the close family will usually buy the baby a gift when it is born. If the children a going to be fairly close in age I would think they would reuse the big ticket items so no need for a shower really.

Denise in MI

The baby gets gifts when it is born, shower or no shower so the whole "celebrating each baby" really is not true- the shower is to shower the PARENTS with gifts to set up a room etc for the baby- the baby gets gifts of clothes etc when its born if it had a shower or not.
I am in the one shower per mommy rule- a shower for each child just seems very greedy to me.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

The baby gets gifts when it is born, shower or no shower so the whole "celebrating each baby" really is not true- the shower is to shower the PARENTS with gifts to set up a room etc for the baby- the baby gets gifts of clothes etc when its born if it had a shower or not.
I am in the one shower per mommy rule- a shower for each child just seems very greedy to me.

I dont' want to seem greedy, that's why I dont' want one....but let me ask you this....out of curiousity.....
What if someone WANTS to throw you a shower? I know if someone at work is having a baby, or one of my good friends is... or a close family member, I WANT to throw them a shower.. it's fun and people buy gifts anyways!! Sure, not the big items, but little things... and a PARTY
Is it greedy to accept the party... rude to turn it down.. or just take it if it comes, and leave it be if it doesn't??

 

[C.Ann]

Used to be first babies only..

Then it was deemed appropriate if there was a considerable length of time (like 4 years or so) between the first birth and the second..

Then it was deemed appropriate if it was a second marriage/different father..

Now it seems "anything goes"..

 

[ms_missy66]

This is an old thread, but I can't help to post. I wholeheartedly say yes to a baby shower for a second baby!!

When I had my older daugther we were thrown four (4!!!) showers. Insane! But when I was pregnant with my younger daughter we had just moved to an area where we had no friends or family and honestly, I was totally depressed about the fact that I had no shower.

I had nothing at all to do with gifts. My girls are 18 months apart, so I definitely had everything I needed. I just wanted to celebrate. I felt like this second little girl was dismissed really quickly as "been there done that". In hindsight, I wish I had thrown our own "welcome baby" party just for fun.

So maybe you don't need to do a shower complete with games and a wishing well, but a little party with close friends would be so nice.

 

[Stacerita]

Personally, I don't think there is a need for a second shower if the children are close in age. If the second child will be of the opposite sex, then maybe a "sprinkle" would be nice. But having a second shower can be seen as a gift grab.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

The baby gets gifts when it is born, shower or no shower so the whole "celebrating each baby" really is not true- the shower is to shower the PARENTS with gifts to set up a room etc for the baby- the baby gets gifts of clothes etc when its born if it had a shower or not.

I am in the one shower per mommy rule- a shower for each child just seems very greedy to me.

I'm right there with you.

I went to two 2nd showers...one for my sister, thrown by a friend (and much to my etiquette-minded mother's embarrassment), and one for a friend who had 4 daughters, and a big span between the 4th and 5th pregnancy. Just a bunch of us who got talking and decided to throw something small with "just us" and buy "replacement" gifts (like sheets) or things that needed some updating.