Screaming bothering others?

[saymama]

I have 2 boys with autism. We are going on our second trip to Disney this May. 25 more days. We went 3 yrs ago and it was a horrible trip as everyone got sick. My youngest who is 4, is such a handful. We are currently waiting on our medical stroller to be approved and ordered. Crossing our fingers that it will happen by then, but if not, I have a friend that will let us borrow hers and then I have my for use at home and the community. It will be my lifesaver. He also happens to be a screamer. Not mad or anything, it's just that he likes to hear his voice and that's pretty much as vocal as he gets.

Should I be concerned about him using his voice and disturbing others? For example, if we were to try Pirates or HM, before getting on the ride. Usually I don't let others bother me and just let him enjoy himself. This time, I'm sorta concerned that others will get ticked that their magic was interupted by my noisy wonderful son.

Would you just avoid these all together? Or see about using the exit as an entrance? Or there other places to be worried about?

thanks

 

[McCall]

I am probably going to get royally flamed here, but yes I do think it is a problem, and even though others might understand a very noisy child has problems, that really does not change the point that it is a distraction and annoyance to those trying to enjoy the ride.
I'm not sure what the answer is, I am not sure I would say don't go on rides, but you should get a GAC and perhaps some of the rides will put your party in a vehicle by yourselves which might help some.

 

[saymama]

we have enough people in our party to have one vehicle ourselves. H But things like Little mermaid, muppets and things like that will be hard to do. I am sure that we can exit quietly if he gets too excited. That's usually when he screams. Most times he's doing it to see if he'll echo and if he does, watch out! But once on the ride with vehicles, we can't exit and I promise he's loud enough to hear from far away. I don't think it will be a problem. I was mostly thinking of things like HM standing in the stretching room. That would be the one time that I could see him causing a problem. Is there any other thing like Hm that I should avoid?

 

[autumnblue]

I think you can skip the strecthing room all together. I haven't done the HM in a while but because my disability they loaded me in through the exit and I missed the strecthing room. Just find a CM and explain your dilema and they should have a good alternative for you.

Autumnblue

 

[momof2inPA]

I think if you can tell by looking at him that he is disabled, that people will be very, very understanding. If not, they might think he is just mis-behaving. Just go and have fun and play it by ear. Leave a show if you must, but don't worry about the rides.

 

[saymama]

he's very cute and typical looking. I'm sure most people would think he's a brat. but then again he'll be in a medical stroller as we will use it as a wheel chair to try and keep him a bit calmer.

thanks, I'll try to relax a little.

 

[phillybeth]

If he is just vocalizing to hear himself, how about earplugs or ear muffs? Or would he just get louder?
I think that, for shows at least, if you let the CMs know that you might need a quick exit they will place you at the end of a row.

 

[Selket]

I'm no expert on this but it seems if you find an attraction you want to experience but you think his "echo" making could cause a problem try to snag a CM beforehand and asking what is the best way to experience it....assuming there is some accomodation they could make. It could also help if any folks you are in close contact with (not family) are told that he is autistic...if you do have a problem. I've seen people mention cards to hand out that explains the situation - I don't know if that is appropriate for your circumstance! I do think people will be more understanding if they realize he is autistic vs. just misbehaving! And the "echo" thing made me laugh - my 2 yr old tries that everywhere too (he is not autistic) where he thinks he might get and echo back.

Have fun!

 

[saymama]

I think that the cards might be a good idea. Better than dh saying something not so nice. He'd also never tolerate anything on his ears.

 

[candykisses]

I think you will be the best judge as to what will excite your son. On the whole I think people will be understanding without having to hand out a card. I personally would be offended by receiving one.

You and your family have every right to have a magical trip just like everyone else, but in a show such as the Little Mermaid, I'm sure most people sitting around your son would be very upset if they couldn't hear because of him.

I'm sure everything will be fine. Enjoy you self.

 

[eeyorefanatic]

I am sorry but this is just my opinion. Is he going to scream through out the rides? Even if you have a vehicle all to yourself I am sure people in the nearby vehicles will be able to hear him and thus it may be best to skip the indoor type rides (HM, Pirates, IASW, SW etc...).

I understand that you have the right to go to Disney and have a magical trip, butscreaming through out the rides isn't appropriate and really will ruin the ride for all of the other people.

 

[saymama]

just to let you know, we don't walk around handing out cards to everyone. I've actually never given one out. But people have used them when others have been extremely rude about their childs behavior.

I'm actually feeling less and less excited about going on rides after the responses here. My usual attitude toward others not liking the screaming is, tough. But that's in places like the mall, and the store. We don't really go in too many public places that NEED him to be quiet. It just doesn't happen. I am sure that he will be fine as long as he stays snuggled in his stoller. The sad thing is that most kids can look at their parents and say "i'm happy", this is his way of telling me and I have to try my best to keep it under wraps.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

My son is just turning 4 and autistic and he does some of what you are talking about. He will scream if he gets excited. We ride all the rides with no problem though. I have a way to control his screaming, he still takes a paci and as long as he has it in his mouth he doesn't scream. Is there something like that, or maybe a sippy cup or maybe even a sucker that will keep him a little calm. (I know calm is a relative term, esp with mine )

 

[saymama]

oh, and I can't really predict as to when he's going to "use his voice". He doesn't scream and keep screaming non stop. More like just happy yelling. I never ever tell him to stop and don't intend to know. I do ask him to whisper, but I've put too much money and effort into speech therapy for him to think that using his voice is bad. Sorry, but it ain't gonna happen. and if someone where to tell him to be quiet, let's just say that it wouldn't be a very magical moment for them. I am attempting to prevent this by asking advice here and planning a bit. Hopefully he'll do okay and I'm just overworrying like always.

 

[gardendame]

Originally posted by saymama
oh, and I can't really predict as to when he's going to "use his voice". He doesn't scream and keep screaming non stop. More like just happy yelling. I never ever tell him to stop and don't intend to know. I do ask him to whisper, but I've put too much money and effort into speech therapy for him to think that using his voice is bad. Sorry, but it ain't gonna happen. and if someone where to tell him to be quiet, let's just say that it wouldn't be a very magical moment for them. I am attempting to prevent this by asking advice here and planning a bit. Hopefully he'll do okay and I'm just overworrying like always.

You came here asking advice, but unfortunately you are not real happy with the responses. Your situation is a difficult one, as only you can fully understand. I don't understand that you would "never tell him to stop." I realize that he may continue the noise, but people are more understanding if they see a parent at least attempting to make things better. If you show some compassion for others around you, they may not be so tempted to tell him to be quiet. Please don't go into your vacation with the attitude that it is the other guest's tough luck if they are seated near him. It is their vacation too. Yes, you spent a lot of money on speech therapy, and I am sure you will be spending a lot more money on other issues as well throughout his lifetime. Those of us with children with disabilities are well aware of the financial stress a disability can cause. Because of that, you should have empathy to other vacationers who may have the same medical expenses and life-stress situations as you.
We have had a horrible 5 years with one child being diagnosed with a disability, then having the second child diagnosed 2 years ago. Monthly prescriptions, specialists, and ICU stays have put a huge dent in our budget. It will be very hard to stand in line during our first-ever-family-vacation, and listen to a child screaming non-stop. However, if I were to see the parent of that child at least make an attempt to calm him, the situation would be more tolerable.
Having children with a disability has taught most of us to be more understanding of other people. You never know their situation. The family standing next to you may have been through hell and back and have every right to enjoy their vacation as much as you and your child do.
And remember, when you say "and if someone where to tell him to be quiet, let's just say that it wouldn't be a very magical moment for them" , you should at least go into this situation trying to prevent people from saying this. There are some people who will be mean, no matter what your situation is. In general, most people will not say anything unless it just goes too far without any intervention.
You asked the question, and I answered as best I could in an honest way. If you are offended, then so be it. It wasn't meant to offend, it was meant to remind you that you are not alone in the life-stress scenario and that it may take an extra effort on your part to keep confrontations to a minimum.
I do hope your son, and you, have a great vacation. Everyone deserves a break from reality once in a while.

 

[saymama]

actually, I'm not offended. I am concerned about others not being bothered. That's why I asked. I won't tell him to stop if we are outside standing in line. There is not sense for that. But inside I will tell him that he needs to whisper or lower his voice. He doesn't scream non-stop. I stated that earlier. If he keeps it up and I know he's not mad, then I'll tell him that's enough screaming, but I refuse (and sorry for those around me) but I will not tell him to be quiet-meaning shut up. That's what I meant. I will use other times, like it's time to listen or pay attention. Children with autism are very literal so you have to choose your words carefully. I am not going to Disney with a bad attitude, more like a cautious one. As I do with every new experience. However, I have had one person to shhhhhush my older son and I will not tolerate it ever happening again. I don't correct other peoples children.

And just as you have been through alot, standing in line at your vacation just remember that the kid acting not quite right may not be a brat or bad, he may actually have a reason for his behavior.

by the way, he does take a pacifier. it's his bobby. I will probably limit his use of it that way if he starts acting up, I can give it to him. He's actually a really good kid and I am very strict on them when it comes to behaving. I can control them moving around and stuff, but I can't control their mouths.

I am not upset, well yes I am, but not at the answers. Just the situation in general. No one ever wants to have to ask the hard stuff. I am in a position that I have to. I am sure that he'll be fine and I am over-dramatizing everything. Someone once told me that mothers of autistic children find every senerio possible. It's true because I constantly have to figure out what's gonna set them off and if so what can be done about it.

Having him stay in the stoller will help calm him also. He likes to feel secure. I won't let him to do anything that will stress himself, me or others.

 

[Chalja]

I have a 7 y/o son with autism so I empathize to your situation. My question is does your son receive ABA therapy? It is very effective with autistic kids. If so, my suggestion would be to work with his therapist to extingiush (or reduce) the screaming behavior just as you would any other inappropiate behavior. If you need any suggestions on how to accomplish this please p.m. me (my sister is an ABA therapist) and I will do my best to help.
Angie

P.S. I love this site. Great info!

 

[pampam]

I must say, you do have your problems. It sounds like you could use a nice vacation, and Disney World is the best place to have one. On the other hand, I too travel with a disabled child who cannot stand loud noises, and she is so sympathetic she will cry if some one else is upset. So you see, I don't want anything to mar my magic either. I would suggest you go to guest services and get a GAC for the length of your stay. Tell the cast member exactly what the situation is and they will make it appropriate for your son. That way, if you need a quiet entrance, or perhaps need to exit quickly, or perhaps you need to use your stroller as a wheelchair, or if he cannot tolerate long lineups, whatever the circumstances are, explain it when you are at guest services and the cast members will make it as magical as they are able. Then perhaps it won't disturb the other vacationers as much. Hope this helps.

 

[gardendame]

Saymama, I am relieved to hear that you were not offended. I was trying to offer my opinion in as gentle a way as I could, but nothing I typed seem to sound right.
I hope you find some solutions that work well for you and your son.

 

[saymama]

I think that the stoller, pacifier, GAC card for fastpass lines or exit entrances and then finally early exits if possible should keep us all sane. I guess I won't know exactly what he will do until I get there. He loves to prove me wrong.

We don't do ABA, great for those that want it and can afford it. I don't want it to sound like he does it all the time, he doesn't. And it's just him being excited. I will take it one ride and one day at a time and that's all I can do. No need to stress myself more before I get there. He's obsessed about Disney, so he'll probably be too busy to do anything but stare at everything.