School situation

[lvs_eeyore]

Let me start out by saying my son is in his first year of middle school in a very intensive program for gifted kids. In his elementary school he was a big fish in a little pond and is now a small fish in a big pond as ALL these kids were the brightest of the bright in their respective elementary schools.

My son did something stupid at school and bragged to a friend that he hadnt read certain books yet took the tests on them. Well the teacher overheard and took the points away and told him he is possibly facing a referral. Well I know for a fact as I saw him read them that he actually DID read these books and was just trying to look like a bigshot in front of a friend by saying what he did. I emailed the teacher and told her this and told her we are very shocked he would do something like this as it is not like him and that he is in trouble with us for doing it. The last I heard from my son on it was that the teacher was going to the coordinator of the program and discuss it with her. I let a day go by and then the next day I called and left a message asking her to call me at her convience.....and also another teacher as he had written something in ds's agenda that needed clarification. We cant help if we really dont know what the problem is. Fast forward to yesterday. I FINALLY get an email back from the one teacher that I emailed which says. I will discuss this with **** (my son) thank you for your imput. Ummmmm if my kid is going to get in trouble for something shouldnt it be discussed with the parents also?? It also potentially means either dh or I would have to take time off from work to go get him as he takes a bus to school. The other teacher has never even acknowleged my call. I always hear teachers complain that the parents just dont care, dont get involved, dont wanna know whats going on at school. Here I try and Im getting stonewalled by both teachers. Im just kind of at a loss as to what to do now. I dont wanna appear as one of "THOSE PARENTS" but I do feel that in this instance where there is the potential that my son will get in a lot of trouble and it also involves possible time off for dh or I that we should be in the loop as to whats going on. Im not trying to get him out of trouble as he has to pay the piper so to speak for what he did I would just like to know whats going to happen. What do you all think?

 

[hentob]

IMO the teacher should have just tested him on the books and let the grade be the deciding factor.

He is in middle school. He is going to do obnoxious things like brag to his friends that he didn't(or did) do something. He is trying to get a reaction. No biggie. He'll grow out of this stage.

I think the teacher is wrong (and I usually side with the teacher).

 

[Martha7]

I hate how the schools overreact to every little thing! By the way, don't worry about seeming like one of "those parents!" Although my DSs aren't in the gifted category, South Florida schools are loaded with gifted kids, and the parents are like any other: concerned and involved with their children's educations. The fact that they're trying to punish your Ds for a silly remark is ridiculous! If you're getting stonewalled by the teachers, contact your child's Guidance Officer. (When we were in the Weston schools, specifically in middle school, they were assigned by grade level.) See what the Guidance person has to say about unresponsive teachers. You're not doing anything wrong, and you're not running straight to the Principal's office. Unfortunately, So FL schools are so overcrowded, that it can take longer for small issues to get resolved. Your child's teacher may have six classes of 30 or so students! The teachers are also in a union, which comes into play in certain instances. For example, the Principal can't make the teachers come to more than a previously agreed upon number of evening school activities. The good ones seem to come to school functions on their own, but it's a contract issue. The Principal can't "make" the teachers post on the school website, or on a site like www.schoolnotes.com. I always tried to establish a rapport with the teachers right from the start of the year. That way, they didn't see me as a threat if there was something I needed them to help my DSs with over the course of the school year. I was also super involved in the PTA and sent little gifts in for them for holidays and teacher appreciation week. I had a few problems with inexperienced teachers over the years, of course. One of them gave my Ds an after school detention, which he forgot to tell me about. She expected him to skip the bus ride home, (knowing that I was unaware of the detention and wouldn't be coming to pick him up), and proceeded to give him two more detentions for going home that day! I did make an appointment with the Principal over that one, (since I was fuming!), and he told her she couldn't do that. Good luck and let us know what happens!

 

[grinningghost]

IMO the teacher should have just tested him on the books and let the grade be the deciding factor.

He is in middle school. He is going to do obnoxious things like brag to his friends that he didn't(or did) do something. He is trying to get a reaction. No biggie. He'll grow out of this stage.

I think the teacher is wrong (and I usually side with the teacher).

Very well said.

 

[lvs_eeyore]

He had already taken the tests and gotten a 100 on each of them. That in and of itself should have told her that there is no way he could have not read the books and taken the tests even if he saw the movies. There are things on that test that arent in the movies. The tests are very very detail oriented. She still took all the points away that are awarded for that level of book, blocked the tests, and is going to the coordinator about it.

 

[grinningghost]

He had already taken the tests and gotten a 100 on each of them. That in and of itself should have told her that there is no way he could have not read the books and taken the tests even if he saw the movies. There are things on that test that arent in the movies. The tests are very very detail oriented. She still took all the points away that are awarded for that level of book, blocked the tests, and is going to the coordinator about it.

I would stand my ground on this one. She is dead wrong. No kid could accomplish that without reading the books, even if he read cliff notes, saw the movie and had a friend tell him all about the book. Any teacher with a brain would know that.

 

[RobynK]

I would beat her to it and go to the co-ordinator myself. I would also contact the guidance counselor about the other teacher not responding. I have had to do that for my middle schooler for the exact same reasons- I am a parent trying to fix the problem and couldn't get any response to phone calls and emails to teachers.

 

[lvs_eeyore]

I think you are right I need to go to the co-ordinator. What he is in is a special program within a regular school so I think I should go to her rather than the guidence counselor. Im just hoping this isnt going to be a SEE I TOLD YOU SO moment. She was a little taken aback at the end of last year when we met her for the school walk though and I told her ds has an IEP for his ADHD. Basically I was told this might not be the program for him and that there is no shame in going to our home school. Ummmm yep ya mean the one that is basically a police state and couldnt keep up with him acedemically if they tried??? He is tested/certified highly gifted. Of course I didnt say that to her but I was thinking it. I basically just said that the program at the other school would not suit his needs and this one is exactly what he needs to keep him challenged and learning. ACCCCCCK I hate this. Im actually dealing with three seperate situations. But I have to take a deep breath and call her on Monday and see if the one teacher talked to her yet, inform her that I havent heard from the other teacher yet, and face what she has to say about him and the program.

 

[hentob]

On reading your other posts, my advice would be to not even contact his teacher. I can't believe she would assume that your son would not be worthy of the gifted program b/c of ADHD issues. Ignorant.

Go straight to her supervisor.

 

[lvs_eeyore]

It was the supervisor who thought he wasnt worthy of the program because of his ADHD. She runs the program within the school. Thats why Im kinda dealing with three different situations. The teacher who wont respond to me about whats going to happen because of what he did, the teacher who wont contact me about what he wrote in ds's agenda, and the coordinator who may use this to prove the point about what she said at the end of last year.

Im going to call the co-ordinator on Monday and just deal with whats said. I dont think its right that the parents are being kept out of the decision process with regards to getting in trouble.

 

[mom2boys]

He had already taken the tests and gotten a 100 on each of them. That in and of itself should have told her that there is no way he could have not read the books and taken the tests even if he saw the movies. There are things on that test that arent in the movies. The tests are very very detail oriented. She still took all the points away that are awarded for that level of book, blocked the tests, and is going to the coordinator about it.

I'd have a real problem with this. I assume that these tests are required for his grade. How does she think he aced the tests? I think I'd ask for a face to face & include your son. I have a new middle schooler too. It is a stressful time for kids. One of the 6th grade teachers told another parent that she feels 11 yr old boys are too young/immature to handle the pressures of middle school.