School Issues

[Biscuitsmom31]

My DS10 is unofficially diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I am taking him to a new psychiatrist in 3 weeks but I'm having issues with his new school.

He started 6th grade this year at a magnet school across town. It is a small, well respected school that has the best test scored in the area. DS is academically brilliant and socially inept.

The vice principal called me yesterday about his behavior and when I told her that it was suspected that he has bi-polar she said:

"No, people with bi-polar just get really happy or really sad, he gets defiant and angry. I think his problems are beyond bi-polar disorder."

I was like..."my father and sister are bi-polar and very defiant." She said "he must be learning it from his environment."

Clearly, the woman has no clue the seriousness of bi-polar disorder. How do I help her understand without offending her?

DS is having so much trouble. He is immature and doesn't know how to deal with it when things don't go like he wants them to. He also thinks everyone is being mean to him, even when they aren't. It's so hard for me to know when he's actually being picked on or when he just perceives things incorrectly.

Thanks for listening.

 

[pcparamedics01]

My DS10 is unofficially diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I am taking him to a new psychiatrist in 3 weeks but I'm having issues with his new school.

He started 6th grade this year at a magnet school across town. It is a small, well respected school that has the best test scored in the area. DS is academically brilliant and socially inept.

The vice principal called me yesterday about his behavior and when I told her that it was suspected that he has bi-polar she said:

"No, people with bi-polar just get really happy or really sad, he gets defiant and angry. I think his problems are beyond bi-polar disorder."

I was like..."my father and sister are bi-polar and very defiant." She said "he must be learning it from his environment."

Clearly, the woman has no clue the seriousness of bi-polar disorder. How do I help her understand without offending her?

DS is having so much trouble. He is immature and doesn't know how to deal with it when things don't go like he wants them to. He also thinks everyone is being mean to him, even when they aren't. It's so hard for me to know when he's actually being picked on or when he just perceives things incorrectly.

Thanks for listening.

I do not like the tone from the VP. I would get him tested officially and get yourself a IEP in place depending on the outcome and an advocate!!!

 

[Forevryoung]

I do not like the tone from the VP. I would get him tested officially and get yourself a IEP in place depending on the outcome and an advocate!!!

There is no "official testing" for bipolar.




I've faced similar stima and comments. It's due to a lack of knowledge- years ago they (educators) didn't face as many kids with psychiatric issues because they weren't diagnosed like they are today (they were hesitant to diagnose me when I was 15!)

Personally, I would contact your local NAMI chapter (national alliance for the mentally ill), tell them what is going on, and ask them for resources. This is the sort of thing that your local chapter would appreciate getting involved in.

If you decide not to go that route, I would highly suggest putting together an education packet for everyone regarding bipolar and then more specifically, your son.

For what it's worth I'm socially inept but have found a few friends and a wonderful boyfriend who put up with me because they see past my shortcomings (something children can't do). PM me if you need resources, I might be able to dig some up from my advocacy days (no time with grad school these days!)

 

[pcparamedics01]

There is no "official testing" for bipolar.




I've faced similar stima and comments. It's due to a lack of knowledge- years ago they (educators) didn't face as many kids with psychiatric issues because they weren't diagnosed like they are today (they were hesitant to diagnose me when I was 15!)

Personally, I would contact your local NAMI chapter (national alliance for the mentally ill), tell them what is going on, and ask them for resources. This is the sort of thing that your local chapter would appreciate getting involved in.

If you decide not to go that route, I would highly suggest putting together an education packet for everyone regarding bipolar and then more specifically, your son.

For what it's worth I'm socially inept but have found a few friends and a wonderful boyfriend who put up with me because they see past my shortcomings (something children can't do). PM me if you need resources, I might be able to dig some up from my advocacy days (no time with grad school these days!)

I disagree... There is testing for bipolar.... My best friend has had it for years. She was tested in Rochester, NY. just recently. After all these years. She is 42. Her Grandfather had it, her Mother has it....etc. So there is a resolution!

 

[Forevryoung]

I disagree... There is testing for bipolar.... My best friend has had it for years. She was tested in Rochester, NY. just recently. After all these years. She is 42. Her Grandfather had it, her Mother has it....etc. So there is a resolution!

I would be interested in hearing more about this testing... I have always heard otherwise (after much research into it)

I would definitely travel to Rodchester for an official diagnosis

Please PM me with more information if you can get it

 

[packetminnie]

I don't know that much about bipolar and school but I do know that I can put items in my DS 10's IEP about behavior. I strongly urge you get in touch with a support group dealing with bipolar that can help you understand your child's rights to a Free Appropriate Public Education. I googled bipolar IEP and this was one of the results (there were many others) http://jbrf.org/edu_forums/issues.html

I am just starting the IEP process with DS10, Asperger's,ADHD, it is very confusing but necessary to be an advocate for your child. The school probably isn't going to do it unless you insist on it.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I'm curious about a diagnostic test as well. DS was originally tested for ADHD and they results were inconclusive. The psychologist said he suspected bi-polar disorder so he didn't want to diagnose ADHD because he didn't think that was the actual problem. (Bi-polar and ADHD have many of the same symptoms in children.)

However, he would not give an official diagnosis because he said they are very reluctant to brand a child with this disorder and it can take years to officially diagnose.

I need something. Some diagnosis for him so I can get him on an IEP. Would you believe the school nurse at his new school actually called me and told me strait up to get a diagnosis so he could get and IEP for his own protection. She said they school cannot throw him out because of his behavior if he is protected by an IEP.

So, we going to a psychiatrist and hopefully we can get somewhere with him. DS takes Strattera and Risperdal and it has really helped but of course he still has issues, just not as extreme. If they think he's difficult now...they should see him unmedicated!

 

[Forevryoung]

I totally understand... and I totally agree about not mis-labeling him for the sake of services... I've been "different" forever too (without a label... just tons of excuses)

I don't believe there is a magical way to diagnose- if there was, I wouldn't have seen 3 different psychiatrists so that they could "discuss" and see if they could reach a conclusion together.. guess what the result was- they couldn't make up their minds

After this long some professionals have agreed, and some have disagreed with the diagnosis.

I agree with the need for an IEP and getting a psychiatric diagnosis/label might be necessary. Until that point in time though, I would highly suggest my original suggestion to gather information and provide it to those who consistently interact with him. Contact NAMI, they will have people who have "been there done that" and they will be able to help (or find someone who can help)

 

[pcparamedics01]

I would be interested in hearing more about this testing... I have always heard otherwise (after much research into it)

I would definitely travel to Rodchester for an official diagnosis

Please PM me with more information if you can get it

Sorry I am wrong. I am confusing depression with bipolar. She has depression. Her Mom and Grandpa are bipolar.

 

[Forevryoung]

Best wishes to your friend, depression is awful.

Thanks for getting back to us

 

[pcparamedics01]

Best wishes to your friend, depression is awful.

Thanks for getting back to us

I love her to death!!!!! She has a lot of issues.......

 

[pcparamedics01]

Best wishes to your friend, depression is awful.

Thanks for getting back to us rouphug :

Question...
Seeing you know about this issue, She is so fragile and needy so how do I interact with her if we cannot talk about issues at times? She is great with her job but that is about it!!!!!

 

[Forevryoung]

Question...
Seeing you know about this issue, She is so fragile and needy so how do I interact with her if we cannot talk about issues at times? She is great with her job but that is about it!!!!!

Hmm, well I guess the first question to ask is- is she TRULY fragile, or do people perceive her that way?

I am extremely emotional at times and I know people frequently have a hard time approaching me (about problems) for fear that they will "disrupt my emotional balance" or upset me. But it does no good to relationships to always skirt problems as you are pointing out.

I have come to the point in my life where I openly state (to friends and loved ones) that I can take care of myself and I would rather have potentially upsetting conversations and cry (or get angry) than not even be given the opportunity to have healthy relationships.

While I don't know if this person is the same way, she might just appreciate the openness and honest you are providing (now I wouldn't go bringing up all her negative qualities at once but a simple open discussion should be ok). I've come to realize that all too often people are too quick to avoid things because of ideas of depression and mental illness. I actually consider myself (and others who have it/gone through it) extremely strong because of it.

Hope that helps at least a bit- feel free to PM me if you want to get more in depth

 

[pcparamedics01]

Hmm, well I guess the first question to ask is- is she TRULY fragile, or do people perceive her that way?

I am extremely emotional at times and I know people frequently have a hard time approaching me (about problems) for fear that they will "disrupt my emotional balance" or upset me. But it does no good to relationships to always skirt problems as you are pointing out.

I have come to the point in my life where I openly state (to friends and loved ones) that I can take care of myself and I would rather have potentially upsetting conversations and cry (or get angry) than not even be given the opportunity to have healthy relationships.

While I don't know if this person is the same way, she might just appreciate the openness and honest you are providing (now I wouldn't go bringing up all her negative qualities at once but a simple open discussion should be ok). I've come to realize that all too often people are too quick to avoid things because of ideas of depression and mental illness. I actually consider myself (and others who have it/gone through it) extremely strong because of it.

Hope that helps at least a bit- feel free to PM me if you want to get more in depth

Thanks Forevryoung! That helps...

 

[JulieWent]

Given a psychiatrist's diagnosis and verifications from school officials (like teachers) that your child's issues are affecting his / her school work and abilities, you should be able to get an IEP or a 504 plan for your child with bipolar disorder. Most places would grant an IEP under the OHI (other health imparied) category, but some might insist on a labeling of emotionally disturbed. In either case, your child would qualify for accommodations that would help him cope more affectively, and school administrators would be forced to understand the ramifications of their actions when they called you and discounted your child's diagnosis.

Julie