School for a child with a "late" birthday?

[Jessica14]

As a former kindergarten teacher, I would say your child will do just fine starting where they are. I taught half day many years ago and I would say with very few exceptions did I have full on success stories with kids who were those fall birthdays (cut off 12/1, my opinion: 9/1 would be better). Just because someone could read, count etc., did not mean they were mature enough even for half day. I remember a parent saying that her daughter who was 11/27 never would have gone if were a full day. She was way too immature to have come at all. She moved so I really don't know how it worked out. I do find that kids come more to the middle of the pack as they go on. No matter where your cut off date is, someone is always going to fall one side or another.

Now for my kids, DD is 1/20 and is going to second grade and is advanced. My DS who is 11/17, only went last year because our district would not provide the speech services he needed and qualified for. So off he went to full day at four after a preschool program in which he really didn't pick up too much even though it was really wonderful. It was a real struggle and at the end of the year, his teacher said he was reading at an acceptable level for first grade. Well, I don't know if she was trying to boost her own reputation, but this can not be further from the truth.If he's trowing a tantrum every time we try to get him to read and is still sounding out "a-n-d" every time he sees it, he is not ready to move on. We are currently trying to contact our principal to get him back into kindergarten.

I agree with what a PP said that you will more likely regret sending then holding back. And winter/spring birthdays in my opinion, fair much, much better than fall and even sometimes late summer birthdays. Again, there are always exceptions!
Jessica

 

[eeyoremommy]

I transferred schools and states between elementary and high school so went from being young to being really young. I graduated from high school at 16. So my friends were all driving two or three years before I was. Moreover, I hit puberty late, so I was a sixteen year old high school senior who looked eleven. I wouldn't take those risks with my kids, not when the downside is being a year older when they leave high school. They have plenty of time to grow up.

BTW, I was still bored in high school. The thing about bright kids is that schools have a hard time keeping up with the really bright ones - simply moving them ahead is seldom sufficient as a long term strategy. I was pulled from the regular classroom for hours every day. Yeah, that made me popular with my peers......

I completely agree. I started early when I was in school. I had a December bday. The cutoff in Ohio was September. I went through a series of tests at age 4 and was the only one in the county permitted to start early. There was later talk of skipping the second grade, but fortunately, my parents declined. I graduated with students well over a year older than me. I did well in school. I was in athletics, band, and choir. I was still bored in my classes. Now, I have a son 6 with a December bday. The cutoff again was Sept. He was doing all of these things the OP and PP have mentioned their children can do. Did I start him early? No. It was not even a consideration. It is hard enough being a kid. I can do enrichment for him at home. I don't want him to be the smallest or the youngest in his class. He is going to be bored no matter what. I remember what it was like. He just needs time to be a kid. BTW, I used to teach middle and high school. Many teachers (especially in the lower grades) are not equipped to handle the bright kids as the PP has pointed out. We simply need to be there for our kids, not add to their stress and their problems. I think 2 1/2 is a little early to be worried about these issues. Maturity of the child is the biggest factor, but I would not start a child early. JMHO.

 

[dogluva]

I can't say I see 7 months as a problem. There will likely be quite a few 6 year olds there as well. At our school we see a range, we have them from coming in at 4 and turning 5 at the "last possible second" to already being six when they come in. Our kindergarten teachers all agree that the older the child the better, especially with boys. I wish I'd held my oldest DS out a year (he was 5 yrs, 2 months when he started) but at 11 he is 5'2 and 120 lbs so I know he would've been HUGE compared to the other kids. My DD was even younger (5 yrs 3 wks) and she did great. She is very mature, though, typical middle child LOL She is also very tall for her age so holding her out would've put her, literally, head and shoulders above her peers. I realize size isn't everything but since kids can be cruel I didn't want mine to be picked on for being bigger (funny because I was always tiny, am only 5'4 now and DH is only 6 ft......)

My youngest DS, well he'll be SEVEN in kindergarten. He is very small and immature. We have had in him a special preschool class for three years and that has really helped him but he is still where (I think) a young kindergartner would be. He could have started last year as he was already five but I held him out one more year because of his size and maturity. He will turn 7 in November. None of his buddies realize it, we don't publicize it but even if we did I'm not sure at this age they would realize how much older he is. I do worry about later, when he can drive as a freshman LOL or when his friends ask if he "failed" (though since he did preschool with so many of them and is moving to Kindergarten with them I can't see them thinking this.) Anyway, long story short, I wouldn't worry about 7 months. That should put your child right in the middle of the age ranges.

My son was two years younger than your son in Kindergarten. He was born in Nov and the cut off was Dec. He turned five in Kind. I find seven way too old to be in Kindergarten. My daughter just turned seven and she is going to second grade.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Here the cut off date is October 1st. My son's birthday is October 6th and my daughter is September 14th so according to the public school here they will be in the same class. I have tried to see about getting my son in "early" since he misses by 6 days but the only option I was given was to hold my daughter back or place her in a different kindergarten class so we're really torn. My son is also one of the advanced kids and he goes to preschool where he is already bored. His teacher says he knows everything already. I have a brother just like him who was always smart and bored and way ahead of everyone so he would get into mischief. I really believe he would do better by going sooner (we're talking 6 days!) then later.

What about my girl? Do I hold her back due to his 6 days or send them together which I have been told repeatedly is a bad idea. Everyone I spoke to believes they should be in different grades so they will not be compared. My daughter is very advanced as well and it seems a shame to hold her back when she makes the cut off by 16 days.

My only option is Catholic school where they told me they MIGHT let him past the 6 days if we have a study done on him ($ 873.00 a month for both) or the private school ($ 914.00) for both which we really can't afford.

PS - I like this banana

Could you do Private K for your son for the one year and than pull him into public school next year for first grade and your daughter kindergarten?

I have 2 close like that but they are 8/26 and 9/1. Out cutoff is 10/1

 

[scootch]

In kindergarten and first grade you won't be able to see any advantage. Once second grade comes, you will be so happy your kid is one of the oldest. Truly. My oldest started school at 5 yr 10 months and is in the top of her class, academically and socially. You can really tell who are the younger kids in her class. Now my second daughter(who is very smart, scoring 99's on Iowa testing in over 80% of the fields) did not start kindergarten till 6 years 4 months due to a death in our family. She had real issues after our niece died and we had to hold her back. She is doing fine though, in 2nd grade now. She gets plenty of interaction with kids her age on the playground and with her sister. Her teachers be sure she isn't bored academically. I think most kids adapt fine being older where they don't struggle.

I do think alot has to do with your area. Here the majority of people hold their kids back if they are even near the date. I know this is not true in all areas of the country.

 

[quentina]

Not sure if DS would be considered a late or early birthday. Anyway, it's in February, which means he won't be able to start school until 5 years, 7 months. I'm worried about this bc he is advanced for his age (he is 2 and a 1/2 today exactly) and I really wish there was a way to get him in earlier. We are doing preschool (he's in daycare now), but even that will make him older than other kids. He already can count to 20, say his A,B,C's, knows his colors, right/left, etc. so I already see signs of boredom in daycare.

Any suggestions or life experiences to share?

My little guy starts in September....he was 6 in June. My oldest was also 6 and is an incredible student. It was a personal choice that I am thrilled to have made. I will add, most of my sons friends are the same age as him. I think many parents choose to keep the kids home an extra year these days.

I wouldn't be too concerned about it.

 

[georgesgirl]

Every parent and teacher that I've talked to said that nobody has ever regretted having them start later, but there are always some regrets with starting them sooner. I'm always told that you don't want the youngest kid in your class. When a child knows that they aren't doing as well as the others then they can develop low self esteem about it and not do well in school.

Most of the time with boys it is that they are not emotionally ready. They may be ahead with numbers, letters, etc. - at least that's what a few teacher friends have told me.

I very much agree. I am a pre-k teacher and I often have to talk to parents about this issue.

The cut-off here is Sept. 1st and my birthday is Sept. 29. My parents went back and forth with putting me in private school so that I could jump ahead in school. They decided against it and I am glad they did. I was always one of the most advanced in my class, was placed in the gifted program early on, and was always more mature than my classmates.

I wouldn't consider starting kindergarten at 5 years 7 months "late" at all unless the cut off is January 1st in your area which I can't imagine it would be. Even if your son is advanced academically, you need to look at all apsects including physical and social development.

 

[weheartdisney]

Our youngest son's BD is the middle of August....two days after mine. The cut-off here in SC is September 1. Even though I was in the top of my class, I always hated being the youngest. Our son's preschool has a 1/2 day Kindergarten and we are going to let him do Kindergarten at his preschool, and then repeat Kindergarten the next year at our public school (where our oldest son goes). I've talked to many teachers and parents who had children with August birthdays. They were either glad they did hold their child back (especially those with boys), or wish they would have held their child back.

 

[pooh4evr]

Our cut off in Mo is Aug 1- I have Feb, May and Dec kids, each started or will start when they were 5 and whatever months, I haven't had any issues with them starting at that time, they were tested in K for the gifted program and have done well being a part of that, if he is truly advanced with a high IQ the district will find him and work with him appropriately. I agree with the pp - school isn't always about academics, think of social, physical things, is he small, emotionally mature .. all of those things make a huge difference in your school experience.

 

[michael's mom]

Not sure if DS would be considered a late or early birthday. Anyway, it's in February, which means he won't be able to start school until 5 years, 7 months. I'm worried about this bc he is advanced for his age (he is 2 and a 1/2 today exactly) and I really wish there was a way to get him in earlier. We are doing preschool (he's in daycare now), but even that will make him older than other kids. He already can count to 20, say his A,B,C's, knows his colors, right/left, etc. so I already see signs of boredom in daycare.

Any suggestions or life experiences to share?

I read a lot of the posts, but not all of them and wanted to offer my 2 cents before heading to bed. I'm a first grade teacher here and I agree with so many of the posts I've read. Most teachers will be able to handle various academic levels in a classroom. So the fact that your son already knows those things really isn't an issue and you don't have to worry about sending him early (by going to a private school) or waiting until he's eligible for your public system. What's more important is if he's socially and emotionally ready for school before he's "old enough". All too often kids that are academically prepared for a classroom, aren't equipped to handle the rest of the day...from the social skills that are necessary to the endurance needed to make it the whole day (esp. in a full day program). Two years ago I had 2 boys with July and August birthdays (Sept. 1 is our cutoff). They both excelled academically in my classroom, reading well beyond 2nd grade level when the started school. But, they were very immature. One of them cried often for things that the other "older" boys would never cry about. His mom was worried about his emotional state because the school day was so long for him (even after a full year of full day kindy) and he would have huge meltdowns at home. In reality, he was just immature and wasn't as prepared as his piers for the challenges in first grade.

I also agree with the poster that says size really doesn't matter. They will catch up eventually and unless he's really small or really big, there's bound to be some other kids the same size as he.

My advice is to offer him the challenges at home and send him when he's eligible to go. Most likely your school system will have teachers that are equipped to handle the abilities of all of the students in his/her class; those above, at, and below grade level. If he teaches himself to read before kindy, then so be it. If you think he could use "teaching" to learn to read before kindy, get a tutor for him. Unless you have had training in teaching reading, please don't. Often times, with the best of intentions, parents offer cues to their child about reading that can end up inhibiting their progress. For example, telling them not to look at the pictures, or telling them to just sound it out (this is the most used, well intentioned miscue). The pictures are an essential piece of the reading puzzle for beginning readers so they need to look at them. And while sounding it out is one strategy that is very important, sometimes early readers overuse this and try sounding out words that just can't be sounded out properly, when they should be figuring out the unknown word by using the context.

I applaud you for being so conscious of this with your son still being so young. I'm sure that he'll be fine with whatever decision you make because you are obviously concerned about his education and will make sure he gets the best!

 

[NHdisneylover]

My sons all have late birthdays and all are amongst the oldest in their classes. I had one guy who was reading Harry Potter in pre-school. I have a brilliant husband and fortunately they got his genes. Anyway, we had this conversation as well. In the end, we were making a decision not so much for kindergarten but for high school. Being the youngest kid in the class in K isn't that big of a deal. In high school it is. So, you need to think further than the next year or two to the longer term implications of this decision.

Good luck!

This is absolutely something to think about. Both of my kids started Kindergarten early. DD because the preschoool recommended we look into it and DS because the kindergarten teacher knew him from when he would come with me to volunteer for DDs classes and requested it.

It was absolutely the best decision to make for my daughter. She is not just intelligent, she is very goal driven, big for her age and socially mature. She does better with older kids and adults and thrives on the kind of academic pressure you can see in older grades. Thus, even when we moved into the German school system (where MANY kids start later than we do) we kept her in her grade. She is 13 now and will be going into 9th grade. Her classmates range in age from 14-16 (I think 11 were 16 already on the last day of school). It does mean we have to be sure to cover lots of "older" topics (sex, drugs, etc) much sooner than we might otherwise.

For DS we made the decision to put him back down the grade when we moved here. He is small for his age. He doesn't handle academic pressure nearly as well and wants to focus more on dancing than school. He has terrible handwriting (yes he has been in OT for years) and has an auditory processing issue which makes taking notes and spelling and working quickly really difficult for him (and yes he in therapy). He does not have as many afterschool hours to play or do things he enjoys (dance) because he spends 3 afternoons a week in therapy. He is still wildly ahead of his class in some areas (notably math and science--he does his own copy of his sister's geometry homework for fun most nights) but he would rather daydream through those classes and than feel even more out of place with his first grade looking handwriting and small stature in the older grade. Most importantly, socially he is just not ready to be in a class where a majority of kids are dealing with older issues.

Honestly, at the end of the day BOTH of my kids tell me they do not learn much at school. That is still mostly an at home and on their own thing.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Wow, here in NY the cutoff is December 1st...and both of my children have October birthdays. DS was in a 2 year old preschool program and will start the 3 year old program in September. Then it's off to Universal Pre-K for a year and Kindy after that. He will be 4 years 11 months old when it starts. So definitely one of the youngest, but we feel after preschool and UPK he will be MORE than ready. He's already pretty "with it" and seems to be at or ahead of his peers academically and especially socially.

Just to add - I too have an October birthday so I started school at age 4 years 11 months and I feel I turned out just fine. It really wasn't a big deal in HS when friends were driving a couple months before me. It's called patience, everyone will get a chance to drive/date/etc.

See I have a late october birthday so I was also 4 years ten months and excelled in school. So I'm afraid my son at 5 years 7 months will be bored. And maturity is not an issue because, as of right now, he is very mature for his age. Also, he is in full day care so I'm not concerned about full day school. And I liked being the youngest in the class. I never saw any difference bc I was. So I'm conflicted. But who knows what will happen.

 

[mjkacmom]

See I have a late october birthday so I was also 4 years ten months and excelled in school. So I'm afraid my son at 5 years 7 months will be bored. And maturity is not an issue because, as of right now, he is very mature for his age. Also, he is in full day care so I'm not concerned about full day school. And I liked being the youngest in the class. I never saw any difference bc I was. So I'm conflicted. But who knows what will happen.

Most kids here are 5 1/2 when they go to kindergarten, and, TBH, your ds is not doing more academically than the average kid I know. Kids today, though media, know a lot more before entering school. When I went to kindergarten, we learned our letters and numbers. It's rare for kids not to know, at the very least, basic phonics in preschool. Even if you miss the cut-off by only one day, our school system, unless the child was a certified genius (and in my 9 years of having kids in public school, I've never encountered a child let in early), wouldn't let that child enter kindergarten - they're very strict. You might be worrying about about nothing.

 

[TxRabbit]

So I'm afraid my son at 5 years 7 months will be bored.

He might be. It's nothing to be afraid of.

Today's school is completely different than yesterday's school. There is tremendous pressure on the kids to perform. Homework starts in K. Tests start in K. At least it does here. The state testing that happens in grades now to rate schools is high pressure and awful.

If your son is truly a GT kid, then likely he will put tremendous pressure on himself and school will become an exercise for you in easing the stress, because truly, school is unbelievablely stressful these days. It sounds comical, I know, but it's true.

There is a big competitive spirit in schools these days. Everything is just a big competition. It's ridiculous, but this is the motivation that is used in the schools. It has always been there to some extent, but now EVERYTHING is a competition.

They did this to the third graders this past year. Times tables. They had to pass each level in under 45 seconds. Every kid knew where every other kid was on the way to the 11s. As each class got past a level, they earned a piece of a banana split on their poster. When they got the whole banana split, they got a banana split party. Seems harmless. Seems fun. It was STRESSFUL for the kids. It was super competitive. Kids were in tears not only because they couldn't get past the 6s, but because everyone knew about it, the class was pressuring them...It was ridiculous. It's just multiplication, everyone has to learn it. Why do this?

People here keep posting about being mature. I'm trying to put this into context. Mature is being able to handle all the emotional twists and turns of the situation, whether you are a top achiever or a lower achiever.

Again, it sounds comical, but it's an EMOTIONAL situation. And it's a snowball effect, because not only is it the times tables, it's AR points. And Name That Book books. And the one half of the school against the other half of the school for this competition. And the boys against the girls for this competition. And the classes against each other for this competition. And the grades against eachother for that competition. And the dress like this day at school today. And Spirit day. And Field Day. And the fundraisers. And Dare Week. It all seems harmless. Even fun. But it isn't. It's just another thing that a kid HAS to deal with, whether they participate or not.

I just don't get what the rush is? What is the drive to push your child? What is so wrong with having your child be more than prepared for school and set up to accel? So what if the basics get hammered into his brain?

 

[mjkacmom]

They did this to the third graders this past year. Times tables. They had to pass each level in under 45 seconds.?

Ah, the timed math tests - my niece, who is very bright, came home crying every day from first grade, because she would panic, and fail. I do understand the concept - kids need to know their math facts without figuring them out. Unfortunately, the time factor freaks some kids out. Dd14 struggled with them, and she's my math lover. Dd9 breezed through them, because she has a very laid back personality.