School administrator has a restraining order?

[DisTeach1]

I found out that my old school administrator has an old restraining order against him. Yes, he's married, and he was married when he had this restraining order in place. It was when he was at a different school, in a different district.

I know he has some boundary issues...But what does this say about him, or about anyone? I'm just curious, because I've had some encounters with him, that make me think he is about power and control...

 

[Anewman]

I found out that my old school administrator has an old restraining order against him. Yes, he's married, and he was married when he had this restraining order in place. It was when he was at a different school, in a different district.

I know he has some boundary issues...But what does this say about him, or about anyone? I'm just curious, because I've had some encounters with him, that make me think he is about power and control...

It is very easy to get a restraining order against a person, and they are very common ploys in divorces especially when custody is an issue.

I have a buddy going through a separation...

Out of the Blue she moves out and gets a restraining order.
She calls him to meet for lunch at her job, which he later gets arrested for violating the restraining order.
She calls him asking if they can work things out and SHE MOVES BACK home, he calls her at work and gets arrested for violating that restraining order again. BUT SHE IS LIVING AT HIS HOUSE.

http://orangecountyda.com/home/index.asp?page=8&recordid=1101

 

[KandD]

In our area it is actually very difficult to get a restraining order...so I guess it depends on where you live.

 

[taylor1293]

I knew someone whose wife filed one when she filed for divorce...just because it was easy. They are still married today. I think she did it because he was unfaithful, kind of a revenge thing.

If you can't find the details online, you can probably go to your local courthouse/records dept and do a search if you are concerned. However, I'm sure the school did a background check and is satisfied with the results of the explanation of the restraining order or they wouldn't have hired him.

 

[DisTeach1]

Although, from what I'm told, a civil restraining order does not show up on livescan searches, so I'm not sure the school district would know.

 

[taylor1293]

I didn't realize a restraining order was civil, I always thought it fell under criminal? Curiosity has the cat...how did you find out then?!

Although, from what I'm told, a civil restraining order does not show up on livescan searches, so I'm not sure the school district would know.

 

[KandD]

In Connecticut restraining orders are civil and protective orders are criminal...not sure about other states though.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It is very easy to get a restraining order against a person, and they are very common ploys in divorces especially when custody is an issue.

I have a buddy going through a separation...

Out of the Blue she moves out and gets a restraining order.
She calls him to meet for lunch at her job, which he later gets arrested for violating the restraining order.
She calls him asking if they can work things out and SHE MOVES BACK home, he calls her at work and gets arrested for violating that restraining order again. BUT SHE IS LIVING AT HIS HOUSE.

http://orangecountyda.com/home/index.asp?page=8&recordid=1101

The deal with restraining orders is that the person isn't allowed to contact the other one even if the other one says it is okay. It's right there in the paperwork if you read it.

Reason for it is that some wackos try to say that the other person said it was okay as an excuse for violating.

So, the courts put it right in there. Not in these words, but it says, "Even if that woman says it is okay, we're telling you that you may not contact them. If you do, you're in trouble with us. Period."

I'm not saying that your friend lied - I don't even think that. But the order itself does state that the court told him not to contact her, not even if she said it was peachy with her.

I actually read a restraining order. A guy who came to fix my toilet turned out to be a psycho who fixated on me and I got one. It's very, very clearly worded. No contact. At all. No matter what.

ETA: Protection order. I thought that people called them "restraining orders" and didn't realize they were two entirely different things. Mine was a criminal order - well, it was issued through the criminal courts. I'd have to dig it out, but I'm pretty sure it said "Protection" and not "Restraint."

 

[Anewman]

The deal with restraining orders is that the person isn't allowed to contact the other one even if the other one says it is okay. It's right there in the paperwork if you read it.

Reason for it is that some wackos try to say that the other person said it was okay as an excuse for violating.

So, the courts put it right in there. Not in these words, but it says, "Even if that woman says it is okay, we're telling you that you may not contact them. If you do, you're in trouble with us. Period."

I'm not saying that your friend lied - I don't even think that. But the order itself does state that the court told him not to contact her, not even if she said it was peachy with her.

I actually read a restraining order. A guy who came to fix my toilet turned out to be a psycho who fixated on me and I got one. It's very, very clearly worded. No contact. At all. No matter what.

OH I understand it, just trying to point out that just the mere existence of an order does not prove any criminal wrong doing.


My buddy was stupid, and she was not.

She invited him to lunch which they had together, he was arrested on his way home.

She moved back in with him, but he was arrested for calling her cell phone while investigators where standing there next to her.

If this does end in court to decide custody of the kid, I am sure his two arrests will be shared with the judge... How convenient huh.

 

[tchrrx]

I found out that my old school administrator has an old restraining order against him. Yes, he's married, and he was married when he had this restraining order in place. It was when he was at a different school, in a different district.

I know he has some boundary issues...But what does this say about him, or about anyone? I'm just curious, because I've had some encounters with him, that make me think he is about power and control...

I just realized that you & I frequent the same chatboards b/c I just got finished reading this on the other one. Hi!

BTW- I don't have any advice for you on either board.

 

[LuvOrlando]

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[Imzadi]

I knew someone whose wife filed one when she filed for divorce...just because it was easy. They are still married today. I think she did it because he was unfaithful, kind of a revenge thing.

My ex-best friend since college had a restraining order on her husband. She and the kids still lived with him at the time. When he was sober, he was fine. When he got drunk, he would beat the living crap out of her. The kids would jump in to protect her, and she'd actually take more of a beating to protect them. She had the restraining order for when she had to call the cops, so they knew whose story to believe when they showed up. Without the restraining order, it is "just" a domestic dispute and cops don't like to get involved with those (unless there is violence,) with his word against hers. The restraining order was to show a documented history of violence.

This was all, from her telling me this. And it went on for years. I finally dropped her as a friend, years ago, when she let it continue and I realize this was just a dance her & her DH and the situation wasn't going to change. It would have been one thing if it was just her & him, but as kids were involved, and she refused to get out for their safety & well-being, that's when I got out. To stay her friend was to be condoning their little dance. I just couldn't do that.

It's ironic, because years later, I'll bend over backwards to help a woman with low self esteem, lack of self love issues, to get out of abusive situations - BUT only if they are really willing to walk the walk. Otherwise, I am out of there. I won't waste my energy & time on people who just talk & suck people's energy & sympathy by remaining a victim. There are many people who really want & need help that I can be helping instead.

 

[S. C.]

these orders are not handed out like candy, as some men would like people to think. To get an order both parties must meet with a judge to prove why it is warranted and the person it is ordered against is allowed to face the accuser. Proof or a witnesses is usually needed

Not where I live. No witness is needed and the orders are given out like candy. It is up to the person accused to prove it wrong and get it dropped after they are served.

BTW: I am a woman not a man.

 

[kirbsam]

it really doesnt say much about him. not sure why you even care, if it is an old administrator that you dont even deal with anymore.

 

[Allison]

Well, given the scarce details, it doesn't really say anything about him or anyone else.

 

[taylor1293]

I do not understand how someone can stay in a relationship with someone who beats the crap out of them. Then to bring children into the relationship it's really beyond my comprehension. Do you know if they are still together to this day? Hopefully their children will break the cycle of abuse.

 

[Imzadi]

Unfortunately, I think they are still together and the kids probably have learned themselves to be in abusive relationships.

 

[taylor1293]

Unfortunately, I think they are still together in the same house and the kids probably have learned themselves to be in abusive relationships.

Oh. My. God. I am speechless.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

They're not easy to get here.
My dear friend was denied one because the judge didn't believe her claims. Her estranged husband murdered her within the month.

 

[LuvOrlando]

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