SAVE the MAGNOLIA tree!

[gina2000]

Okay, okay....here's my major rant.

So if you ain't in the mood....hit the back button and leave this for some other poor schmoe to read and respond to.

Pity threads are so pathetic.

Well...here I am....deep in the heart of spring...my daffys are bloomin' their dear sweet heads off....I planted a few hundred of them last fall in a burst of energy. Then.....it strikes.....the dreaded winter snow storm.....

Waddaya mean....winter snow storm????

IT'S SPRING....THE DAFFIES TOLD ME SO!!! THEY'RE OUT THERE NODDING AND BOBBING IN THE SWEET BREEZE!!!

Fast forward.....24 hours later.....


$*#&%(#*%($#&%&#&%&#&!!!!

Daffy heads are bent over looking like osteoporosis has struck their tender little bodies.

"I'm dreaming of a Pina Colada" is playing on the jukebox....

And me....schlep that I am....I'm out there shovelling this white messy stuff that has the nerve to call itself snow. It's really heavy rain....slush.....disgusting, wet, slobbering stuff that won't quit.

It's a pleasure to shovel it....heave, ho....heave, ho.....good thing I have a strong back (small brain....strong back).....

And then I look up.....and spot the MAGNOLIA TREE!

Now....I LOVE magnolia trees. I love those open flowers swaying in the branches. I even love cleaning up those petals when they float to the ground. (I'm a real glutton for punishment....I know.....)

I LOOK UP AND HORROR OF HORRORS! THE BUDS ARE COVERED IN WET, DISGUSTING SLUSHY SNOW!!! THEY WON'T SURVIVE! THEY'LL TURN BLACK AND DIE.....

So...being the bright cookie I am....I take a shovel and a broom....and start to bounce them off the branches to rid those pretty little petals of snow.

AND THE SNOW FALLS......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.ALL OVER ME!!!! I HAVE SNOW DOWN MY COAT....SNOW ON MY HEAD.....SNOW IN MY BOOTS.....AND SNOW BLINDNESS....THE SNOW HAS STUCK TO MY GLASSES!

.
.
.
.
.
Nanook from the North has officially retired.


It could snow another foot tonight. Destroy every daffy and every petal on every bloomin' tree in Woodbridge.

WHO THE HELL CARES??????

 

[Snowwark]

Well this poor schmoe read it, and you know what I wish I could do?

Set up a portable hottub, filled with bubbling, muscle relaxing, perfectly heated water, just for you.

When you're finished your soak, big Sven (the man with the magic hands!), will give you a wonderful massage, using extremly rare and expensive body oils.

A brand new, thick and luxurious, white terrycloth robe, and warm cozy slippers await you, when you're finished with Lars....or was that Sven? No matter....!

Perhaps some chocolate, a liquor, a beer?

What do you think, feel better yet?

 

[gina2000]

I think big Sven might do the trick......

Then again....so would the chocs and the liquor...

So would a trip to the Bahamas.....

A cruise????

Hmmmm....the opportunities are boundless!


I'll hit you with my ultimate in a few.....

 

[Ranatra]

ROFLMA!

I know, I know, the people who didn't get any snow shouldn't laugh at those less fortunate, but I couldn't help it!

 

[Tulirose]

I care Gina. I laughed right out loud but I care and I sympathize.

This type of snow does the most damage. I remember an April snow a few years back that actually bent the backstop at our Little League field.

While I have no magnolia tree, and didn't get quite as much snow as you, I was out there with a broom (while son was snowplowing driveway) knocking snow off of every bush, tree and shrub I could reach in my yard.

I, however, stood way clear of the falling snow.

Hope you are having a better day today!

 

[shep]

(((hugs))) hang in there....lol...Warm weather is just around the corner..