Sad experience for my trans son

[angieh_2]

I have a 6 year old son that is very girly. (we are not quite ready to call him transgender yet) Anyway...

We went to the Bibbidy bobbity boutique with him and his twin brother. When we made reservations I mentioned that I would like my long haired son to have the princess experience and she said I would need to talk to them there, but didn't think there would be an issue. I get there and I had daddy take the kids around the store (world of disney in downtown disney) while I set things up. They told me that they couldn't do a princess style on a boy and that they could NOT call him a princess! I was floored!!!!! So the cast member got the manager to talk to me about it and she said that they CAN NOT do it! So finally the manager got her manager (no, I didn't even get upset or start yelling) and they went ahead and bent the rules 'just this one time'. In the mean time my son is starting to realize that we are talking about him and that people were looking at him. He is already on medication for anxiety at 6! and has many more years of fighting ahead of him if this is who he is and wants to be, but at disney he shouldn't have to fight who he is.

My son has just as much right to the same services as the other kids and he has just as much chance of becoming a real princess as all the other girls.


Other than this one issues we had a great time!!! Just wanted to give a heads up for any other parents out there fighting the same battles.

Angie

 

[ChrizJen]

Wow...I'm sure that was an uncomfortable situation for all of you.
I would like to think that parents like you will be the ones to open the doors for kids like your son in the future. Way to advocate for your child!
Every child deserves to experience the Magic of Disney, no matter what!

Thank you for acknowledging and nurturing your son's needs. Whatever his path in life, he's very luck to have parents who are so supportive.

 

[MonorailMan]

I have to agree with ChrizJen. I think you did a wonderful thing by standing behind what he wanted. By doing that he'll hopefully start being able to understand that he just needs to learn to be himself, whomever that may be. Once he realizes this he'll hopefully be a little more comfortable down the road.

*hugs*
I'm glad you had a good time for most of the trip.

 

[pixierella]

I can't understand why they made such a big deal over it. Little kids play dress up all the times, girls and boys. It's not like your son is 16 and asking for the full out dress and hair, and if he did so what. It was your choice you made for your child. Sorry, can you tell I get worked up about stuff like this?

I applaud you for being understanding and for standing up for you child. More folks should be so caring and loving to their children. I guarantee your boy grow up to be a great person who will always pay forward what he's been taught and shown.

 

[Goofyluver]

Just hugs darlin'.

 

[lookingforward]

I have a 6 year old son that is very girly. (we are not quite ready to call him transgender yet) Anyway...

We went to the Bibbidy bobbity boutique with him and his twin brother. When we made reservations I mentioned that I would like my long haired son to have the princess experience and she said I would need to talk to them there, but didn't think there would be an issue. I get there and I had daddy take the kids around the store (world of disney in downtown disney) while I set things up. They told me that they couldn't do a princess style on a boy and that they could NOT call him a princess! I was floored!!!!! So the cast member got the manager to talk to me about it and she said that they CAN NOT do it! So finally the manager got her manager (no, I didn't even get upset or start yelling) and they went ahead and bent the rules 'just this one time'. In the mean time my son is starting to realize that we are talking about him and that people were looking at him. He is already on medication for anxiety at 6! and has many more years of fighting ahead of him if this is who he is and wants to be, but at disney he shouldn't have to fight who he is.

My son has just as much right to the same services as the other kids and he has just as much chance of becoming a real princess as all the other girls.


Other than this one issues we had a great time!!! Just wanted to give a heads up for any other parents out there fighting the same battles.

Angie

Glad you stood up for him. Happy to hear you all had a good time.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Glad you stood up for him. Happy to hear you all had a good time.

Yep, I agree too.

 

[C&G'sMama]

First, what awesome parents you are.

Second, if Disney is all about inclusiveness then someone at the top needs to know about this so the cast members can be better educated.

I have a friend who is brassy to say the least. Her son is six and prefers princess shirts to "boy" stuff. The couple of times a staff member at her kids' school commentedon his pink coat, she looked them dead in the eye and said my children are appropriately dressed for the winter, concentrate on the children that don't have warms coats and boots.

 

[BubblPopElectrc]

That's really sad.

Have you written them a letter?

 

[angieh_2]

Thank you everyone for your responses. It has been a hard couple of weeks for us with a psychologist diagnosis of gender identity just before we left on vacation. It wasn't a surprise and we knew it, but it is still hard to hear.

Bubbl- I've been looking for an email address, phone number or address to call or write to, but I can't find one. Any suggestions?

Thanks again!

Angie

 

[jlewisinsyr]

I definately agree a letter is in order, hand written, snail mail style.

This is the last general address that I am aware of:

Walt Disney World Guest Communications
Complaints Department
PO Box 10040
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830-0040

 

[Sillyminny40]

Wow. Total support for you on this. He SHOULD be given the same opportunity as a female. Our N.A. society should be friendlier. No discrimination at all no matter what. You are so awesome. Wish all parents could do this. We have two gender identity relatives (ages 32 and 16) and totally understand.
All the best and love that sweetheart! Big hugs from the Disboards!

 

[OrlandoMike]

OP

Please get your post count up to 10, then you will be able to send PM's.

Please PM me....

Mike

Oh and BTW You are a great parent!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

What a precious gift you are giving your child; love AND acceptance.

I would say this though, sometimes once puberty has been "survived" children change direction. I have a dear friend who's daughter stated she was a boy throughout her childhood. Once she cleared puberty she then went on to be more accepting of her female gender, and has since decided that she's ok with it.

All that to say, supporting and accepting your son is the key. You are doing that! Just throwing the puberty complexities into the ring.

I am a bit surprised that Disney made such an issue out of a child wanting to participate in the BBB.

 

[Saxton]

You're an amazing Mom. He may have a lot more battles ahead of him but with a Mom like you he'll be fine.

 

[PghLybrt]

I am also amazed that they gave you such a hard time!
Way to stand up!

 

[dale62676]

As a trans woman (not sure how many trans folks are here on the forum), I just want to say how wonderful it is to hear you supporting your child at this critical time. When I was 6, my parents knew but did their best to make me ashamed of who I was, and so I didn't get to transition until much later because of fear, and risking the loss of my family. I now help run a support group for teen, college, and 20-something trans folk, and I'm thankful stories like mine are becoming fewer and fewer, that parents of younger kids coming to grips with their gender identity and/or expression are supporting them and loving them all the same.

I have been wondering about the BBB policy for this, thanks for letting us know as well, and I hope you will follow up. The very strong gendering of play at Disney (princesses for girls only and pirates for boys only) I think is very troublesome, not just for how it effects trans or gender questioning kids, but all kids. And again, thank you for letting your child be whom they want to be, and standing up for them.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am sorry it took going so far up the chain of command to get them to work with your DS!

Please do not take this the wrong way, but I am honestly trying to understand. Since he has a diagnosis of gender identity disorder, I am confused as to why you don't just allow him to present himself as a girl? Since he is 6 I would think it would be pretty simple to dress him as a girl and nobody would bat an eye.

I have a son myself, and I can't say with 100% certainty that I would have just dressed him as a girl and got on with it, but it seems like it would be simpler than trying to explain the situation to everyone. Obviously without being in your same situation I can't be sure how I would handle it.

I applaud you for standing your ground and calmly asking for your son to be treated equally! I hope the rest of your trip was magical, and I hope you receive a reply to your letter.

 

[angieh_2]

Please do not take this the wrong way, but I am honestly trying to understand. Since he has a diagnosis of gender identity disorder, I am confused as to why you don't just allow him to present himself as a girl? Since he is 6 I would think it would be pretty simple to dress him as a girl and nobody would bat an eye.

He is a boy and he dresses non gender, sweats and tshirts mostly. I am doing my best to teach him how to accept himself as a boy that likes girly things. He does like his genitals (huge bonus going through all this!), so I don't feel it would be right to change his gender. I don't know what he will be once he is older and changing back and forth in the public schools would be socially hard. Not to mention the schools only have girl or boy bathrooms in the kindergarten/first grade wing of the school, so he would have to go all the way to the office to use the unmarked restroom. I just think at this age he needs to learn who he is, and I need to weigh in keeping him safe (from bullies, self esteem).

It would also be very confusing for his twin brother to change his brothers gender.

My son is helping me right now and needs to see the emoticons..

 

[angieh_2]

Dale, I would really love some of your insight. I don't know any trans adults. I have a couple gay friends, but their childhood was different. When I get enough posts can I email you to ask you questions?

I am still praying that he is just a girly boy and isn't really trans. It seems so much easier for him.


Thanks everyone for the support. I am working on a letter now, of course my head feels like it is going to explode from the post-disney cold I'm picking up.

A