Rules about the opposite sex in your teens room

[shortbun]

No possible romance in the bedroom. We have a basement with three couches, a pool table, big screen TV, fridge and bathroom. That's just as dangerous imho. Haven't had any interested couples in my house yet and my son is 16. I'm sure it's coming any day. All the boys know the rule is: No alcohol, no drugs, no sex. I might post a sign.

 

[disfan07]

Open door policy. That included my room and the basement.

However, my parents never really allowed us in my room because all that was in there was my bed, desk, etc....so there was really only 1 thing that would probably happen in that room.

our family room was huge but all that was in there was the TV and fireplace.

Our basement on the other hand was fully finished. A pool table in one room and a futon/TV/DVD player/Nintendo in the other room. So we were allowed to hang out down there. The door stayed open. But my parents would come down or send the dogs down (who would jump all over us) if it got too quiet. They would also just come down to get something. My dad was good at this becaus ethe basement also stored his library of books so he was always in and out of there looking for books.

We had the big house with a huge backyard and always lots of food (snacks and meals)....my mom had papa johns on speed dial! No one wanted to risk losing out on that!

Apparently pizza, snacks, and homemade brisket and kugel on Friday nights was enough to make sure we all behaved ourselves. It cost my paretns an arm and a leg in food but it worked.

Now, we can't say the same thing for other houses but...well....they never have to know about that

However, at 22 my dad still doesn't want me to have guys in my bedroom at school. My roommates and I each have our own bedroom in a townhome and a full living room adn kitchen.
The living room did NOT come with a TV and my parents weren't planning on buying one but all I had to say to my dad was..."well that's fine....If I have any guys over to watch baseball, we can always just watch it in my room where the only place to sit is on my bed"....yeah that got me a TV VERY quickly...haha....however, my bedroom still gets more use than the living room...he just doesn't "know"....dads never change

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS is only 10, but we've always had a door-open policy when friends were over in his room. So it won't be a big deal to just continue that when there's suddenly more reason for it.

 

[golfgal]

Oh dear lord no! 'Just a friend' in high school equates to "he /she is dating someone else and I'm trying to convince him/her otherwise...with tongue if possible".

Forget bedrooms. Basements. I can't tell you how much trouble I got into in basements...even unfinished ones. Parents watch the bedrooms, they don't think twice about the romper room! Door stays open, yeah fine...stairs creak!

I TOTALLY disagree with this. Our kids have always had platonic relationships with the opposite gender and have since they were toddlers. It is much more common these days. They never had the "boys have cooties" thing going on-everyone just played together on the playground.

As for "rules" we don't have anything formal. DD16's room is such a mess she would never invite her boyfriend in there, nor would we allow it. We have other rooms in the house where they can hang out and that seems to work just fine. Honestly, if they are going to have sex, they will find a way to do that and most often it won't be in a bedroom.

 

[marcyinPA]

No girls in my DS16's room, and no girls over if I (or DH) is not home.

Can "stuff" happen elsewhere? Of course. I am old fashioned, but not stupid. I just don't think it's necessary to give DS an invitation to do whatever he wants to in my home. We have rules here, and out of respect, I expect him to follow them.

So far, it has been a non-issue. He is a "late bloomer" when it comes to girlfriends!

 

[mjkacmom]

My dd15 has her first "real" boyfriend. When they started dating in the spring, my mom stopped by my house, and found out he was in her room (she had the 3rd floor to herself ). Um, no way! That was the last time he saw her room. He is allowed to be here with her when we're not home, but our house is heavily trafficed - people in and out all day and night.

 

[Feckless]

The more I read, having teens is like having toddler - setting limits, dealing with tantrums... I think I'll enjoy my next few tween years.

My kid's don't have opposite sex friends anymore. Ewww, gross! LOL. When the teen years hit, I think I might hear my BFFs mom's voice in my head as she physically blocked us and a male friend from going to her room (he was literally going to help us move something he had asked her to keep for him - not to hang out) " NO MIXED COMPANY IN THE BEDROOMS!".

 

[collegejunkie]

we were allowed to have whoever we wanted anywhere in the house except for "off limits" rooms - the "nice" living room, my parent's bedrooms, some other entertaining space that was for adults only, etc. we've had friends of both sexes sleep over, same room and all. i think parents over think what's going to happen. it really was just a lot of movies, games, and then sleeping.

 

[bellanotte10]

I had an open door policy ,with a constantly hovering type mother.

Brought home my now ex boyfriend from college to stay one weekend... at 21 he had to stay in another room... was not allowed in my room at all 10 dollars says the same thing will happen when I get married. Future DH will be forced on the living room couch.

 

[tmarquez]

DD is only 8, but she has to have her door open when she has friends over...girls or boys. But I'm not sure it'll be the same when she is a teen.

When I was a teen my best friend was a guy and he even slept over...in my bed...but we were REALLY just friends. I had a boyfriend too, but we would never have thought to have sex when my parents were in the house...yuck!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

We did not allow our kids to entertain in their bedrooms. It really didn't come up much since we had a finished basement and all the electronics were down there. They didn't really care to have people in their much smaller rooms. But our rule was in place and they knew it, so maybe that had something to do with it as well.

Ahhhh the finished basement !!!! Many fond memories of finished basements lol. Stsirs creek so you get a warning when someone is coming lol. There was no need to hang out in bedrooms when we were ypung because finished basements gave you all the privacy you needed for whatever!!

 

[mhsjax]

Only one rule. No opposite sex friends or boyfriends/girlfriends in the bedrooms. No exceptions, no way, period, end of story. We don't have basements in Florida so I don't have to worry about that one.

 

[Hannathy]

Sure if she wants to, however since her room is such a disaster it is rarely clean enough that she would want anyone in there! I don't get the problem with having a boy in the room. If they are "doing anything" they are doing it anyhow and somewhere else when her entire family is not within earshot.

 

[dngnb8]

I'm just curious about what the typical rules for having a member of the opposite sex in your teenagers room are. Does it change if the teen of the opposite gender is just a friend?

In high school I think most of my friends were allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends in their rooms as long as the door was open. Very few were allowed with door closed. Many of them were upstairs and separated from the rest of the house entirely so door open/closed didn't really matter.

Personally, I was never allowed to have any boy in my room, just a friend or not. But that's okay- I never wanted people in my room anyway.

I harken to Bill Engvall.

You take the boy aside and you say

"Son, she is my baby, my world. I would do anything for her. If I find out something has happened???? I have no issue going back to prison"

 

[jen0610]

My mom let me have my boyfriend in my bedroom with the door open. Our house was a one level. My mom made it known that she would be walking all over the house, and if we were caught misbehaving we would be killed.

All of DD's male friends know, if they are back there playing video games or watching a movie, the door is open and the noise level needs to be kept to a dull roar.

They also know DH has several guns. He keeps them in a very large gun safe, that is in the room right across from DD's bedroom. There is a sign on the side that faces out the door. It reads, "You DON'T want to meet Maxwell, do you?" DD nick-named one of her dads guns Maxwell. We tend to have some pretty well behaved kids in our house.

It also helps that she has an "Uncle PO-PO" (DH's best friend) that adores her. He has greeted some of her firends in his full sheriff's uniform. It is amazing how the uniform gets yes sirs and no sirs from the kids.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Ahhhh the finished basement !!!! Many fond memories of finished basements lol. Stsirs creek so you get a warning when someone is coming lol. There was no need to hang out in bedrooms when we were ypung because finished basements gave you all the privacy you needed for whatever!!

SO TRUE!

 

[miralys]

Household policy when I was growing up was that all doors had to remain open, regardless of who was in the room together.

My parents didn't worry so much because they had their own personal snitch in the form of my youngest sister. News of my infractions travelled so fast I swear she used telepathy to tattle on me!


That being said, if teenagers want to get in trouble, they will

 

[Owl's Friend]

Totally agree!

 

[christie_megansmom]

I may rent a little kid to follow her everywhere from the time she's 15 until she leaves for college.

 

[U2_rocks!]

We just have a "door stays open" policy.

I guess we'll do that too (my oldest is only 11 - we aren't there yet). We don't close doors around here very often - it tends to happen when we have a bunch of kids over and it becomes boys against girls and the girls retreat to the girls' room and shut the door to keep the boys out. But generally speaking our house is totally a door open environment. So we'll just keep it that way (though I guess the doors will shut for short periods for changing clothes etc.).