Rules about the opposite sex in your teens room

[castmember19]

I'm just curious about what the typical rules for having a member of the opposite sex in your teenagers room are. Does it change if the teen of the opposite gender is just a friend?

In high school I think most of my friends were allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends in their rooms as long as the door was open. Very few were allowed with door closed. Many of them were upstairs and separated from the rest of the house entirely so door open/closed didn't really matter.

Personally, I was never allowed to have any boy in my room, just a friend or not. But that's okay- I never wanted people in my room anyway.

 

[JessicaR]

When I was growing up we had a den that was for us kids. Nobody entertained in their bedroom.

Today I have a den also but with electronics as they are the kids have all their games and PC's and things in their bedrooms. Doors stay open. I guess I haven't come across the exact situation you describe. No relationships or dating yet - their decision. Friends of the opposite sex yes.

Knowing I could and will walk in at any given moment I don't think they would try anything. They can do that when I'm not home!

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Why would it matter if it was the same-sex or opposite sex?

 

[kimblebee]

Why would it matter if it was the same-sex or opposite sex?

Less chance of hanky panky if it is same sex is my guess.

I wasn't allowed to have my boyfriend in my room door open or closed. So, we spent most of our time at his house where his mom let us keep the door closed.

 

[Acklander]

Door open, one foot on the floor at all times. Around senior year we pretty much had converted over to him making his own judgement calls on most everything though and just converted over to house rules that everyone followed (I.e. Letting others know when you'll be home, no undue noise when others are sleeping, responsible for your own personal space and belongings, responsible for your own personal expenses, responsible for yourself) so during senior year he made his own decisions on if he wanted the door open or closed

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We just have a "door stays open" policy.

 

[disneychic2]

We did not allow our kids to entertain in their bedrooms. It really didn't come up much since we had a finished basement and all the electronics were down there. They didn't really care to have people in their much smaller rooms. But our rule was in place and they knew it, so maybe that had something to do with it as well.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Less chance of hanky panky if it is same sex is my guess.

I wasn't allowed to have my boyfriend in my room door open or closed. So, we spent most of our time at his house where his mom let us keep the door closed.

Right...because people aren't attracted to same-sex?

Fact is when children first start becoming sexually interested, it's highly unlikely you will know if they are attracted to and interested in same-sex, opposite sex or both. It's not like only guys who play with Barbies and girls who are tomboys growing up, are gay.

When I was growing up, my parent's should have thought more about me hanging with my teammates then the girls that would come over.

 

[kimblebee]

Right...because people aren't attracted to same-sex?
Fact is when children first start becoming sexually interested, it's highly unlikely you will know if they are attracted to and interested in same-sex, opposite sex or both. It's not like only guys who play with Barbies and girls who are tomboys growing up, are gay.

When I was growing up, my parent's should have thought more about me hanging with my teammates then the girls that would come over.

I said LESS chance, not no chance. Don't make it out like I was insinuating something I clearly was not.

 

[Owl's Friend]

My mom let me have my boyfriend in my bedroom with the door open. Our house was a one level. My mom made it known that she would be walking all over the house, and if we were caught misbehaving we would be killed.

 

[Andtototoo]

No boys in the bedroom. Period. Based upon my own high school days. Ahem. So nope, no boys in the bedroom.

 

[sue and co]

Up to end of our equivalent of senior high - door open. Once they have gone away to uni and are home for the holidays it is up to them, they are adults and asa long as they are obeying the other rules of the house (re noise, consideration to others etc) they can do what they want to.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Open door policy here

 

[YodaGirl]

No boys allowed.

 

[punkin]

My mom let me have my boyfriend in my bedroom with the door open. Our house was a one level. My mom made it known that she would be walking all over the house, and if we were caught misbehaving we would be killed.

Yes, that's my policy too.

 

[mamacatnv]

Door open because DD is 9 years younger than DS.
My DH did come (unannounced) home in the middle of the day once towards the end of DS's Sr. year when he and his girly friend were making out hot and heavy half clothed in his room.
Ummm ya, that was a wee bit awkward. DH was more shocked than the kids were, I'm still not sure he is over it

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

My kids are just now tweens and not yet full on teens but they are not allowed to have someone of the opposite sex in their bedrooms. My son can have a boy in his room and my daughter can have a girl in her room. Friends only. My kids are too young to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So I will deal with that someday when that actually happens. I still won't allow opposite sex in the bedrooms. They can hang out in the kitchen or in the living room. They don't need privacy when company comes over. If they aren't trying to do anything wrong then they can do it in the living room.

As for kids having an attraction to someone of the same sex...most teens are mortified at the thought of anybody finding out they are gay. Some go so far as to commit suicide if ppl find out, so even if the teen was gay, I doubt many parents would actually catch the teen doing anything naughty with someone of the same sex in the bedroom just for simple fear of the family finding out their orientation.

 

[bumbershoot]

Right...because people aren't attracted to same-sex?

Fact is when children first start becoming sexually interested, it's highly unlikely you will know if they are attracted to and interested in same-sex, opposite sex or both. It's not like only guys who play with Barbies and girls who are tomboys growing up, are gay.

When I was growing up, my parent's should have thought more about me hanging with my teammates then the girls that would come over.

When my brother in law was outed, it made sense to my husband, like a puzzle piece had finally made his brother clear to him. His parents were in deep denial, but I think at their core they weren't surprised. (because they had made it clear for years that in their children it wouldn't be tolerated...why else would they being going on about that sort of thing, if they didn't know already?)

All the other families I know where a child was gay, the families knew it, often even before the person in question knew or acknowledged it.

Gosh, my mom, who was born in '44, had an old old friend come out to her when they were in their teens...her response to him was that she knew when they were in Kindergarten that he loved boys...

So it's so strange to me, when families don't know.


But...I think you knew what the OP meant.




It was never an issue in my house b/c while I dated casually, I never had a boy over where I might want to lure him into my bedroom. I had a few study groups over, and we stayed in the living room. Of course, my house was under 1000 square feet, so even if we had been in my room with the door shut, it's not like we could have gotten up to no good anyway. Add the fact that I had an old-fashioned, sloshy waterbed into the mix, and you KNOW that nothing naughty was going to happen!

 

[Acklander]

As for kids having an attraction to someone of the same sex...most teens are mortified at the thought of anybody finding out they are gay. Some go so far as to commit suicide if ppl find out, so even if the teen was gay, I doubt many parents would actually catch the teen doing anything naughty with someone of the same sex in the bedroom just for simple fear of the family finding out their orientation.

I Don't know about this - over the years we've made it clear to our kids (through our actions and comments) that there is nothing wrong with being gay. That we love the people in our lives for who they are. That this is nothing to be ashamed of. We have a couple of family members who are gay and they and their partners are welcome in our home and treated just as well as any other guests who are in our home. I can't imagine either one being ashamed of being who they are. I realize that other kids may have been raised differently and for them it may be a different issue but this seems to be a pretty wide brush your painting with here.

 

[Buckalew11]

No opposite sex in the bedroom.

Not an issue though. We have a den and tried to shoo DD and her BF in there to watch a movie and got a big "no way!" from them, they'd be in the LR. Not sure the whys of that...maybe too uncomfortable, maybe trying to ward off temptation...who knows. She's nothing like me though. I have to "no opposite sex in the room rule" for a reason! Ahem.