RSVPs... do I check up?

[misslissa]

After I send out an invite, should I check by phone if someone is coming or not?

I sent out my invites mid July for my small wedding on Sept. 2, the RSVP date is tomorrow and I only gave my email although our return address sticker is on the envelope.

Should I call those who haven't replied or just leave it alone?

 

[sajetto]

You should call and see what others are planning.

People who don't respond to RSVPs are one of my biggest pet peeves! We have received a grand total of 2 and they are from my aunt and mom. It seems like people are clueless about courtesy

As the bride, you have a right to know how many to expect so that you can calculate your costs.

 

[hmgolden]

I would call them and check up. As the bride, you need to know what their deal is and if they are coming. Its actually pretty common practice to call the stragglers. We RSVP'd late to a wedding this summer because we kept waiting to find out DH's work schedule. Our RSVP didn't make it to the bride by the deadline. When she called that day, I knew exactly why!

 

[ItGirl753]

I haven't done wedding invites yet, but I say call. I always (for parties and showers) plan to give a few extra days after the RSVP date, but then call if you need to know the number of guests.

 

[chipscinderelly]

It's also possible that the postal system ate one or two invites - this has happened in our family - so someone may be wondering where their invite is.

 

[KT27]

I waited till a few days after my RSVP & got on the phone, most said they forgot. We had a good turn out though 50 invited , 37 showed up.

 

[allisonswonderland]

I agree call them- we are trying to plan our at home reception and the only decent place around here is a golf club and it is 35 per person- the place only holds 300 people but his mothers list has 157 on it not counting my fiances list (which together should = 150, because I have a list too)so they are way over, not only what they can hold but 35 per person times 300 after having a disnet wedding makes me nervous. She just kept saying people will not rsvp and I said well you are going to have to call them if they do not and find out if they are coming and then she said the will not give you an answer -- help how do you deal with that? We have to have a number - I told her we should tell them this place is very strict on numbers and if they have not rsvpd theri name will not appear on the guest list and if they are not on the list they will not get in...is that terrible....sorry to hijack your post-

 

[dannirose]

You have every right to call and see what people are doing. Like sajetto, this is a pet peeve of mine. Unfortunately, alot of my family don't believe they have to RSVP to things.

My SIL called people the day after RSVPs were due if she hadn't received them. A few said they were trying to rearrange things and waiting on work schedules, etc, and she gave them an extension of a week. After a week she had to call them again.

My sister ended up calling people a week before the RSVP date because not only had alot of our family not responded, they hadn't made hotel arrangements and the groom's side (which was local) decided they didn't want to drive that night and used up most of her room block!

For my engagement announcement/save the date booklet I am sending out, on the reply card there is a place for them to check off if they want to be kept on the list and contacted by Disney to receive the discounts - when people ask my mom if I really need the card back, she has been telling them they don't have to send it back but then they might have to pay regular rates - so far it's working.

 

[ead79]

I would wait a few days after the RSVP deadline, then call and see what people are planning. I find it to be very odd how few people RSVP on time. I always send mine in as soon as I receive the invitation so I don't forget.

On a related note, the other thing that stressed me was people waiting really late to book their discounted rooms in my room block. I had people that I knew were coming wait until the deadline, which made me tense. It all worked out in the end though.

 

[Chrissie-riel]

Call them!! UUGH!! Drives me nuts!!!! People still think that this is the 1970's when you just had cake and punch in the church basement or BYOB at the local Elks Lodge. Hello - it is the year 2006 people and a reception will cost $25 - $125 per person now!!

Allison - if the 'rents are handling your at home reception, let them handle it and walk away with your sanity. If you are now planning or assisting with the planning, go to mom and MIL's house and steal their address books to make the follow up calls yourself.

 

[twojo21]

i would start making calls on sunday to those who havent rsvp'd.


fyi for rsvps to future brides give 2 options email & phone, phone & mail, etc. not everyone has online access.

 

[dsnyfan6/18]

I would wait a few days after the RSVP deadline, then call and see what people are planning. I find it to be very odd how few people RSVP on time. I always send mine in as soon as I receive the invitation so I don't forget.

On a related note, the other thing that stressed me was people waiting really late to book their discounted rooms in my room block. I had people that I knew were coming wait until the deadline, which made me tense. It all worked out in the end though.

I agree! I think i was more frustrated with the fact that our guests (my aunt in particular) waited until the LAST day to book her room, it made me nuts!

 

[happylalagirl]

We have our RSVP's set for the end of October. We wanted to have all RSVP's in by the time we had to pay for the wedding (30 days prior to actual wedding date). My thoughts are if people haven't responded by the RSVP date, then you have every right to call them. Most people just forget or are waiting for schedules. My best friend/bridesmaid can't let me know if she's coming for sure until one week before the wedding because she is in her first year of residency in Med School. She has tried asking the Chief of Staff and he said he can't guarantee anything... other than her, no one has any big excuses... so, I will be making some phone calls I'm sure.